Cremation - No Trip to the Cemetery

[Thinking]

I recently attended a Celebration of Life. The deceased had been cremated so there was not a casket and the remains were not there either. There were pictures and other personal items that were displayed to help friends and family remember the good times. The service was very nice - a few speakers and musical numbers. Anyway, after the service, there was no procession to the cemetery, so the guests were invited to remain and mingle for about an hour. Most stayed and there were tears mixed with smiles and laughter as people remembered the deceased. It was all very positive and I left feeling uplifted.

I know that the Church discourages cremation, but it does not forbid it. Correct me if I am mistaken.

I would like to read your personal opinions about cremation.

[InCognitus]

56 minutes ago, Thinking said:

I know that the Church discourages cremation, but it does not forbid it. Correct me if I am mistaken.

I would like to read your personal opinions about cremation.

There was a thread on cremation early this year.  Several good comments were made in that thread, as I recall:

 

[Kenngo1969]

I realize others' mileage may vary (including that of the OP), but the essence of what makes me, me, will be elsewhere, me having "shuffled off this mortal coil."  (Though, having said that, I can understand why those who are here, still, might wish to have a specific place to go that will enable them to commemorate my [hopefully positive, hopefully useful, notwithstanding all of my flaws, failings, faults, frailties, and foibles*] existence.

I just clicked on the link to the previous thread posted by @InCognitus, and I posted, essentially, in substance, the same comment back then!  I had forgotten that!  How funny!

*Please forgive the temporary attack of excessive alliteration.  I couldn't help myself!

Edited November 16 by Kenngo1969

[Calm]

I was just talking with my daughter yesterday about options and she was saying I should donate her remains*** to a medical school or research, she doesn’t mind in the least having “medical students playing in her innards”.  Same here.  We aren’t that body anymore.  I think my skin is currently in good shape as I avoided tanning when young and my genetics are great in that area, though it may not be useful by the time I die, but I doubt much else works for transplants, so usefulness will be limited to likely research (they were asking for brains to see if they could figure out the cause of our disorder a few years ago, hopefully that is solved by the time I die) and anatomy classes.  Cremation follows what’s left as I understand that.  The only thing I don’t want happening is for this body being a giant clothed pickle in a pine box for eternity, it doesn’t deserve that even if it misbehaves all the time.  I have always been extremely biased against western burial tradition.  I am all for decomposition.

***I reminded her it was much more likely to be the reverse, her pushing the rest of the family in that direction for me (all agree with the idea now, but may get emotional about it later)

Edited November 16 by Calm

[BlueDreams]

4 hours ago, Thinking said:

I recently attended a Celebration of Life. The deceased had been cremated so there was not a casket and the remains were not there either. There were pictures and other personal items that were displayed to help friends and family remember the good times. The service was very nice - a few speakers and musical numbers. Anyway, after the service, there was no procession to the cemetery, so the guests were invited to remain and mingle for about an hour. Most stayed and there were tears mixed with smiles and laughter as people remembered the deceased. It was all very positive and I left feeling uplifted.

I know that the Church discourages cremation, but it does not forbid it. Correct me if I am mistaken.

I would like to read your personal opinions about cremation.

We had our daughters that we lost due to premature birth, cremated this year. No one discouraged us otherwise. It made sense for us. We have no close family buried here where we live, so it allows us to take them with us if/when we ever move (which we would plan to have that be a big move likely out of country). It also allowed for a ton more personalization and community experience. My husband made their urns, several people, including neighbors and my siblings, helped me cover my yard to make memorial garden beds for them. Our funeral entailed both pictures and asking people to bring a living plant to place in their gardens that we staked with plaques and later sprinkled the tiniest bit of ashes on each one. Likewise, there was no funeral procession. We welcomed people back to our home, talked and chatted in our yards as we had them place the flowers by the plaques. Their urns we have on a memorial shelf with the clothes and momentos we received and switched out depending the season. I now have the added benefit that each year, around the time that we were spending losing them, I will be adding flowers, remembering the love I experienced from those around us, and feeling close to them in one of my favorite hobbies. 

The one big difference is there's no dedication prayer for the grave for semi-obvious reasons. I didn't mind personally. We would say our own prayers in our own ways. 

 

With luv,

BD 

Edited November 16 by BlueDreams

[Rain]

7 hours ago, Thinking said:

I recently attended a Celebration of Life. The deceased had been cremated so there was not a casket and the remains were not there either. There were pictures and other personal items that were displayed to help friends and family remember the good times. The service was very nice - a few speakers and musical numbers. Anyway, after the service, there was no procession to the cemetery, so the guests were invited to remain and mingle for about an hour. Most stayed and there were tears mixed with smiles and laughter as people remembered the deceased. It was all very positive and I left feeling uplifted.

I know that the Church discourages cremation, but it does not forbid it. Correct me if I am mistaken.

I would like to read your personal opinions about cremation.

The handbook used to discourage it, but it no longer does.  

[Rain]

Interesting thing I just saw in the handbook.

"In some cases, the bishop can arrange with morticians to provide modest, respectable funeral and burial services at cost if expenses are paid from fast-offering funds"

What does "at cost" mean here? Surely it is not saying the mortician should get no income from it right?  I get these are fast offering funds and I totally feel that the cost of laying someone to rest is way out of hand, but I don't think we should be asking someone to take no income from their profession.  If they want to offer it that would be a different thing, but I can't imagine a bishop going in to arrange to pay at cost.

[CV75]

12 minutes ago, Rain said:

Interesting thing I just saw in the handbook.

"In some cases, the bishop can arrange with morticians to provide modest, respectable funeral and burial services at cost if expenses are paid from fast-offering funds"

What does "at cost" mean here? Surely it is not saying the mortician should get no income from it right?  I get these are fast offering funds and I totally feel that the cost of laying someone to rest is way out of hand, but I don't think we should be asking someone to take no income from their profession.  If they want to offer it that would be a different thing, but I can't imagine a bishop going in to arrange to pay at cost.

I would think someone else can pay for the negotiated difference (the "plus" part). Or maybe a negotiated discounted price is considered "cost."

[CV75]

Question: is the temple clothing in which the deceased is dressed  cremated with the body?

[Rain]

5 minutes ago, CV75 said:

Question: is the temple clothing in which the deceased is dressed  cremated with the body?

Yes.

"Where possible, deceased members who were endowed should be buried or cremated in temple clothing."

Edited November 16 by Rain

[Calm]

37 minutes ago, Rain said:

Interesting thing I just saw in the handbook.

"In some cases, the bishop can arrange with morticians to provide modest, respectable funeral and burial services at cost if expenses are paid from fast-offering funds"

What does "at cost" mean here? Surely it is not saying the mortician should get no income from it right?  I get these are fast offering funds and I totally feel that the cost of laying someone to rest is way out of hand, but I don't think we should be asking someone to take no income from their profession.  If they want to offer it that would be a different thing, but I can't imagine a bishop going in to arrange to pay at cost.

My guess, labor costs of the mortician and the coffin at cost.

[Tacenda]

I attended a previous neighbor's funeral, and in the obituary it said it was a celebration of life. I was a little surprised because normally it would be viewing the night before and then a short viewing the next day and then a funeral in the chapel. So it was still at the church but I wasn't sure if it would be in the cultural hall and even how to dress. Luckily I wore a dress because it was held in the chapel and it was just like a regular funeral, but lacked the casket and no viewing. So I fully assume he was cremated. The funeral was like all the LDS funerals I'd attended in the past, a program and all. And beautiful hymns. He was a very active believing member. He and his wife were very creative and both artists, he was retired from Beneficial Life. So afterwards we were able to walk around the gym and see on tables all of what he'd done, like a regular funeral, his craftsmanship is phenomenal. It was a beautiful celebration of his life for sure. I enjoyed it very much. It was more personal. And the mortuary people weren't there. And no urn was in sight. And like has been mentioned, afterwards there was time for mingling and then a light lunch was provided for the family.

Right now in my trust, my husband and I want to be cremated. I want to be buried below a tree. But I may change it to be something else, still deciding. 

My wish is, if I get Alzheimer's I will go to Switzerland and be put down, and maybe they'll cremate me there and I'll be put in a beautiful spot there.

Edited November 16 by Tacenda

[Calm]

22 minutes ago, CV75 said:

Question: is the temple clothing in which the deceased is dressed  cremated with the body?

Which can add toxins to the air unfortunately.

[MustardSeed]

Cremation is less expensive. That’s the way I want to go.

[Nofear]

Graves have been an invaluable resource for family history and quite suspect that the Lord nudged societies to such traditions for that very purpose. Given that my mortal ordinances and family history is complete and recorded, the value of a grave site for me would be moot from the family history perspective. So, cremation for me is my current thinking.

[pogi]

Just beware of this:

Her parents' bodies were dismembered and sold by a funeral home. She didn't know for years | KSL.com

[blackstrap]

For the curious: Cremation - Wikipedia . For those in a hurry just scroll down to Modern Process.

I wonder if there is a size limit to the body being cremated.

[Thinking]

9 hours ago, InCognitus said:

There was a thread on cremation early this year.  Several good comments were made in that thread, as I recall:

I missed it.

[Rain]

3 hours ago, pogi said:

Just beware of this:

Her parents' bodies were dismembered and sold by a funeral home. She didn't know for years | KSL.com

When my aunt was cremated they had a window to the room and on the other side was something like a waiting room.  They gave you the option to see the person be placed there and then wait for it to be done though I think they did say something about closing the blinds during the actual cremating - we didn't watch so I don't know how it went. They just told us.

[mfbukowski]

4 hours ago, Tacenda said:

I want to be buried below a tree.

There you go!  Throw me in a hole wearing my underware, under a tree, and let me become matter unorganized again.

I'm already disorganized anyway. 

But make sure the metal goes in the recycle bin!

Edited November 16 by mfbukowski

[The Nehor]

Put jewels in my eye sockets and keep the skull on the mantle.

[Rain]

43 minutes ago, mfbukowski said:

There you go!  Throw me in a hole wearing my underware, under a tree, and let me become matter unorganized again.

I'm already disorganized anyway. 

But make sure the metal goes in the recycle bin!

You know, if you wear underwear instead of underware there won't be as much metal. 😁

Edited November 16 by Rain

[rpn]

Cremation doesn't rule out a grave.  You can be buried or be placed in a final resting placed in a mausoleum (sp?) or a 10x10 hole in your yard in most places in the US, or in a cemetery, and dedicate that place.  Unfortunately many people illegally spread human ashes, and sometimes that pollutes water/soil and/or means someones finds human remains fragments where they shouldn't. 

In the US, you can buy your casket at Costco's (and other places) for around $950 including shipping to the funeral home.  I think that the way traffic is today (and the fact that LEO's are so overloaded that there is no one to guarantee a safe procession even if someone can afford to pay for the number of offduty officers to do it) (not to mention the added costs to the mortuary for doing those casket transfers twice)  there won't be processions at all, usually except perhaps in small towns.  (And given that we know that the spirit is alive in a different place, it even seems kind of weird that we persist in the processional when the direct loved ones skip the makeup and hair do and embalming and dedicate the grave privately without an entourage the day the body is released for burial.  )

And yes, I've now been to several of the parties/receptions after a funeral and I do think that works pretty well (so long as  only family and close friends stays to be fed).

Edited November 16 by rpn

[Rain]

14 minutes ago, rpn said:

Cremation doesn't rule out a grave.  You can be buried or be placed in a final resting placed in a mausoleum (sp?) or a 10x10 hole in your yard in most places in the US, or in a cemetery, and dedicate that place.  Unfortunately many people illegally spread human ashes, and sometimes that pollutes water/soil and/or means someones finds human remains fragments where they shouldn't. 

In the US, you can buy your casket at Costco's (and other places) for around $950 including shipping to the funeral home.  I think that the way traffic is today (and the fact that LEO's are so overloaded that there is no one to guarantee a safe procession even if someone can afford to pay for the number of offduty officers to do it) (not to mention the added costs to the mortuary for doing those casket transfers twice)  there won't be processions at all, usually except perhaps in small towns.  (And given that we know that the spirit is alive in a different place, it even seems kind of weird that we persist in the processional when the direct loved ones skip the makeup and hair do and embalming and dedicate the grave privately without an entourage the day the body is released for burial.  )

And yes, I've now been to several of the parties/receptions after a funeral and I do think that works pretty well (so long as  only family and close friends stays to be fed).

That was one of the things in the handbook - that the family shouldn't be burdened 

[JAHS]

Just because I am getting older now I keep getting ads for cremation services in the mail. ☹️