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Calm

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  1. I hate my dad’s autobiography and call it a fantasy because of how it portrays me. In essence he has me making the decisions he made for me. As an obedient and trusting and mostly, as an undemanding child, I put aside how I thought I should do things and did it his way (my rebellion amounted to just going back to my room and reading books or going for long bike rides and otherwise just getting on with my life in ways that didn’t draw attention to myself…but frustrated my parents because they didn’t see it as accomplishing much). My relationship with my parents now I can look back on the whole of it…they basically figured out who they thought I was before I was a teen and they never needed to rethink that image because I never demanded their attention. They chose not to spend much time with my family (not only were we not needing rescue which is how they related to people…giving service, but my husband and I weren’t into drama…drama even if troublesome, is interesting) over the years, but were very generous in supporting us in ways they were comfortable with…but visits always seemed to get cut short because of a greater need elsewhere…or just boredom when it came to Dad as he always was needing to keep himself moving and his mind occupied (much like I use the board for distraction due to the disorder I inherited from him…it is either that or knocking us out with drugs, which back when he saw his father dealing with it made things worse). Leaving the cautionary tale behind and back to the topic, my dad spoke the truth as he knew it. Whether it was his habit to see me that way or conflation with what else was going on or because his attention was drawn to something that he then saw as the key to the experience when it was a trivial side issue in my view, what happened with his autobiography was completely predictable given the rest of his life. He never fabricated stories or lied, it would have been too much effort with no payoff he wanted. But he did want to see the world in a certain way and always resisted my efforts to have him consider things from a different POV (pretty much the only teenage conflict we ever had)…why reinvent the wheel was said way too often in my youth when I made suggestions. But everyone is this way, we see the world as we are and not as it is. And some of us see things as drama where there is little for some reason, even if this means creating problems when there are none. And when fear gets involved, drama always gets ramped up…at least in the short run. Drama that some like and others run from. Imaginations provide explosions for popping sounds or turn gunshots into backfires or place us in the middle of the excitement where we were really just bystanders or make us observers instead of the one threatened or in pain. We are in control when we were not. It is how we make sense of our feelings many times when our memories are pieces we later want to put together in an coherent, reassuring way. Some reassure themselves by later downplaying the drama; others feel safer I think by upping the drama so it makes sense to them why they were fearful. I don’t know what happened to Pres Nelson on that flight, but it is not hard for me to imagine that when the crisis whatever it was happened, ideas and images flashed through his mind of what might be going on or what might happen if it got worse…and later those images were perhaps remembered as memories of what took place instead of realizing it was what went through his mind during those moments. I have minor similar experiences all the time where I remember my rehearsals of what I am going to tell people as if I actually had that conversation with them. It is easy to do because I tend to visualize talking to someone when thinking of what to say. And I have flown enough (Dad worked for United so we flew for free and I have never understood the appeal of road trips) to remember people screaming a few times when some nasty turbulence hit (don’t like flying into Denver). I am hoping that was never me..panic when I can’t do anything about it makes me freeze, so more likely I had a really stupid look on my face. The Pres Nelson story sounds much more like images that flashed through his mind later being taken for memories of what happened rather than memories of his thoughts to me instead of the creations we make when we want to attract attention to ourselves, portray ourselves as the hero in a little set piece, the one others always depend on or go to for advice, who saves the day.
  2. The 20 years is throwing me every time I think of it. It is hard to remember what life was like before, when I felt lonely because I had no one to talk to about the stuff that interested me. It has been such a blessing for me…but also hard seeing struggles friends have gone through.
  3. I think it is easy to become so focused on one or two aspects of a problem that it isn’t until you clear those that your mind is cleared enough to take care some of the other details. So I don’t see an issue with having it change and then change again so quickly. I think they have possibly gone to announcing changes as soon as decided to avoid leaks or accusations of dishonesty or at least showing there are transparent where they can be. This is starting to feel like a bit of clutter and over sharing. If they had waited till closer to announce it, they likely would have had a more polished and complete one time announcement. I suspect the pendulum will swing back to not so quick if the interest in leaks ever drops enough so as to not raise many concerns about wanting official announcements to be first.
  4. Unless mandates show compliance rates (which would require a lot of effort if not already tracked for other reasons) and that is part of the analysis, I don’t think the info should be assumed to show whether masks themselves are effective to prevent spread.
  5. Advertising, choice of what to supply by producers and distributors, advice from medical professionals and tons more from amateurs…all that is external interference and yet everyone survives that….sure, external interference can be troublesome, but it is not inherent and need not be.
  6. Otoh, if we neglected the relatively trivial, mundane, then it would be IMO more difficult to create sacred space in our daily lives…which offer many trivial opportunities to do so, but far fewer reliable eventful, extraordinary moments.
  7. Well, maybe we have a use for the extra vaccines… https://www.cnn.com/2021/07/28/health/pfizer-third-dose-data-bn/index.html
  8. Totally off topic…Did you know the oldest population in a city in the US is at The Villages in Florida…over 50% are seniors. Rather surprising since it is a 55+ planned community. I would have thought it would be higher. But that size (132,000) would require a lot of service providers, I guess. https://www.insidethebubble.net/the-villages-cool-facts/ For comparison, Cedar Rapids, Iowa, the second largest city in Iowa, is about the same of population. I think it would be boring living in a community that heavy with seniors. I love hearing the kids outside playing around us. And even the teens on the street are pretty sweet…but then most know us since they were wee ones, so that helps. It still throws me seeing them as almost adults. Longest time I have lived in one place now and always has been the neighbourhood where I knew the most, most likely because of church, but also my sister-in-law lives down the street and is very involved in the neighborhood, so we had an in. There is something so wrong about a couple of these “cool facts”: I would like to know why all these seniors choose to live together, outside the medical convenience of likely having tons of geriatric specialists, not the least appealing to me. Something not listed in their advertisement: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Villages,_Florida#Demographics I can see a second plus, the very low crime rate so if older, well off so can afford it with no family wanting to take you in and you don’t care about living close to others and chose instead to live alone, that would be very appealing. I assume all the senior sports appeal to many as well even if I find little interest in that. Very easy to stay active. Enough distraction for sitting up digesting food…time to try the bed.
  9. It looks likely that there is a higher rate of infection among HIV positive individuals, though this may actually be more severe HIV cases are seen at the Center rather than monitoring those who are infected at all stages. I wonder if the antivirals taken for HIV have any impact on Covid so in healthy individuals there would be a decrease in infections and in HIV individuals taking the antivirals, infections are lower than they would be if not taking them. https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1002/jia2.25573
  10. This reminds me of mask mandates studies that don’t show the level of compliance…is it enforced or not and if so, how much; is there more who voluntarily use masks or those who do not. One needs context to compare studies to ensure populations and other variables are truly comparable, context too often ignored by media. For example, one needs to be careful when comparing Utah to other states because some of our relevant stats are on the fringes, such as average age runs low, nonsmoking runs high. Other things to consider in a respiratory disease in comparing states across the US would be differences in altitudes and latitudes and weather…more inside or not, more open windows or not, differences in air quality, genetic attributes if a community tends towards genetic homogeneity, obesity levels and other known risks factors. Comparing Maine where the average age is 45ish to Utah where the average age is 30ish…problematic if not age adjusted.
  11. Added to first post, but in case you don’t see it automatically pasting here as well. Plain text due to formatting issues
  12. Navidad, I think the experience of someone consistently attending our meetings without being interested in joining outside of part member families is rare enough that most members will assume that someone not coming to support a family member is an investigator. Is it that common in other faiths for uninterested in joining nonmembers to attend services on a regular basis? I can imagine that would be indeed terribly hurtful, but isn’t the fact you were invited to give the prayer and I am assuming the bishop has not stopped you from partaking of the sacrament demonstrating that there are some members who don’t class everyone attending in that way? (though perhaps the bishop assumes you are going to convert one day and sees it as part of the process?). And the policy being not to stop nonmembers when visiting from taking the sacrament…would suggest that leadership does not see it as pretending given how sacred we believe the Sacrament to be and how easy it would be to simply ask nonmembers to abstain (which iirc they did in my distant youth).
  13. Also wondering if the viral load varies based on severity of the symptoms, more mild cases have less than severe cases. I can’t remember if this was mentioned in the past or not.
  14. There is exclusive in the sense of being unique…the only one offering something. There is exclusive in limiting who has access. Iow…the difference between a private country club that only lets anyone into the dining area to eat if they have a certain level of income and are wearing expensive clothing that shows off their income and a restaurant offering a one of a kind speciality, but inexpensive dish to anyone willing to walk through the door and pay for it. And the restaurant may require shoes and shirt for service, but hands them out to anyone who shows up without if they ask as long as they put them on. And the restaurant will help you find a job so you can buy their food if you lack money. I may have made the analogy too cluttered by trying to make it closer to the church experience of “exclusive”…yes, we have something no one else has; yes, everyone is invited to join us; yes, we require a few behaviors before joining; yes, those behaviours are possible for almost anyone (exceptions generally made for those who want to behave a certain way, but can’t).
  15. Thank you, that is enough for what I was wondering. Though if you find data on how this changes over distance in time from vaccination, I would appreciate that.
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