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What Age Did You Get Married?


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62.  And my wife is 21.  (Just kidding.  ;)  I'm not married.  I'm not gonna talk about my age, but I'm a long-term bachelor ... :huh:)

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If you are super jealous, decide you are going to marry someone and get to figuring out whom.  Fix whatever is holding you back.  Change whatever you need to change.  And/or go looking in places where you are more likely to find someone (your poster name suggests you struggle with this).  

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I was 25 and he was 42... we were married/together for 38 years (we were sealed a year after he had passed away when I was 56).

 

GG

Edited by Garden Girl
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I was 25 and he was 42... we were married/together for 38 years (we were sealed when I was 56).

 

GG

 

That's wonderful, though it sounds as if he's passed on, which I am sorry to hear. We've been together 26 years, and I think we're as happy as we've ever been.

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That's wonderful, though it sounds as if he's passed on, which I am sorry to hear. We've been together 26 years, and I think we're as happy as we've ever been.

 

Thank you... I've been widowed for 15 years... We, too, had a very good and happy marriage...

 

GG

Edited by Garden Girl
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And how old was your spouse? I'm 28 and still single and have no idea what age I'll get married at and how old my wife will be.

 

I was 35 and my wife was 24.  I'm just a bit of a late bloomer.

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I was first married at 23, spouse was 22.  I was RM, she was partly active and as it turned out, a bit ditzy.  This lasted about 4 years.  Second attempt was when I was 29, and spouse was 39.  We've been together for 33 years now.

 

Don't worry, too much, VGJ.  You'll find her eventually. 

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If you are super jealous, decide you are going to marry someone and get to figuring out whom.  Fix whatever is holding you back.  Change whatever you need to change.  And/or go looking in places where you are more likely to find someone (your poster name suggests you struggle with this).  

With no disrespect and without even the slightest desire to give offense :) (I agree with you, by the way, that an inordinate amount of time spent in "non-social" pursuits ... [what, you mean, like posting on message boards? ;)]) can be counterproductive to achieving certain goals) that's great advice, and it often works ... except when it doesn't. :huh::sad:  Many people in the Church of Jesus Christ would hold me solely and entirely responsible for my current plight as a long-term bachelor.  They would also be very wrong to do so.  As much as I might be frustrated with that plight on some level (although I'm at least trying to learn to avoid being defined by what I lack), I would never want to abridge the moral agency of the women I've dated, expressed interest in, and/or had (slightly longer-term) relationships with.

 

I think we need to be careful to avoid laying the "blame" (bad word, I know) for such a state of affairs at a single person's feet (both single in the marital sense and single in the numerical sense) when two people need to choose to exercise their agency in order to pursue a relationship with one another and attempt to determine their Mutual Eternal Suitability. Sometimes I think we treat the problem of long-term single status in the Church as a problem that someone (like me) could solve simply by choosing someone he thinks would be a suitable mate, bopping her over the head, being sealed to her while she's unconscious ("agency" is so overrated, anyway! :D) and ... well, she'll get used to the idea eventually after she wakes up!

Edited by Kenngo1969
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In my experience, often the harder one tries to find a spouse, the less successful one is. My daughter's best friend just graduated from BYU, and despite her intense efforts, is not married and isn't even dating anyone. As my daughter put it, when you are so obviously looking to get married, you kind of scare off potential husbands.

A friend of mine from grad school got her MA from BYU and went off to Wisconsin for her PhD. We had a farewell party for her, and she remarked that going away to Wisconsin made it unlikely that she would meet an LDS man and get married, so she was not going to worry about it. Her first week in Madison she met a guy who had been baptized a couple of months earlier and was in Wisconsin temporarily for an internship. They've been married almost as long as we have.

One of my mission companions had impossibly high standards for his potential wife: we used to tell him he wanted to marry someone who looked like Barbie, was happy being a perfect homemaker, and had a degree in nuclear physics. He dated a series of very attractive young women at BYU, but he would always break up with them, saying that, on reflection, he couldn't see the two of them together. (His parents met on a blind date and were engaged that same evening, so I think he had unrealistic expectations.) Eventually, he went to Minnesota for his PhD, where he met a woman who was a convert with a past and a child. Because she wasn't at all what he thought he was looking for, they became friends, and then they dated, and then they married.

And as for me, during the school year when I turned 22, I began actively looking for a spouse. I was very attracted to one young woman in my FHE group, and I found excuses to spend time with her--and then she told me she thought I should ask her roommate out because the roommate liked me. At the same time, a young woman in my Latin American Studies program began what I can only call aggressively courting me, which really put me off. When I went home for a long weekend in February, I told my dad that I was going to stop worrying about dating and focus on my classes for the rest of the semester. Then my wife called me from Connecticut asking if I would pick her up at the airport (she was moving to Provo to go to school), and everything changed. Four weeks later we were engaged.

So, my advice is not to stop dating, but to stop worrying about where it will lead.

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And how old was your spouse? I'm 28 and still single and have no idea what age I'll get married at and how old my wife will be.

We were both 24. That was along time ago! For some time I'd had an inkling of what age I'd be when I would get married, but had no idea who or how old she would be. Kind of snuck up on me!

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