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Everything posted by jkwilliams

  1. I’m losing that battle, I’m afraid. I am amazed and impressed with your ability to be kind consistently, even when some of us don’t always deserve it. I am grateful for your example and am glad to consider you a friend.
  2. Well, you add something positive and thoughtful every day, which I very much appreciate. That’s no waste of time.
  3. Why are you being so defensive and hostile? Ugly disparagements? Give me a break. You don’t have to agree with others’ experiences and opinions, but there is no call for this dismissive, condescending hostility.
  4. I would assume that you are making these judgments about your clients based on your knowledge of them and their case. Would you make the same assessment of someone you don’t know and whose case you are not familiar with? That strikes me as arrogant and, to borrow a word, infantilizing people.
  5. No kidding. I’ve been told I’m the guy telling people, “Come on in, the water’s fine.” Funny thing, it is fine. Excellent, even. I note that I’m 4 posts away from 10,000, which fills me with a bit of embarrassment for wasting so much time here. Maybe it’s a good place to take a break.
  6. If your previous post wasn’t arrogant, this one certainly was. You see no problem in blaming Meadow for not being able to set aside her emotions and deal with things rationally?
  7. I've heard from a lot of people that their porn "addiction" centered on a cycle of shame: they'd look at porn, feel intense self-loathing and shame, and then use porn to feel better. Lather, rinse, repeat. Once the shame was gone, the cycle stopped, and porn use declined or ceased. And most of these guys I know are married.
  8. Obviously, we as parents need to teach our children how to protect themselves from predatory adults. It strikes me, however, that with a bishop's interview, one has to assume the subject of a young person's sex life is going to come up. Surely, we can teach our kids boundaries when it comes to adults, but I think priesthood leaders tend to be given a level of trust that others may not have. Interesting story about FTSOY: I worked on that program as second editor back in the early 90s. Originally, the pamphlet contain nongraphic explanations of specific sins, but it came back from the 12 marked with one apostle's initials, who struck every explanation, saying in essence that defining such things would, as said earlier in the thread, lead to curiosity and experimentation.
  9. He once called and asked if he could meet with our whole family at our house. He came in and started grilling me about why I wasn’t going to church more and how I was a bad example to my kids. I told him I would be happy to talk to him in private. I had forgotten how much of an *** he was.
  10. He advanced him, but then he said, very loudly at a “Young Women in Excellence” meeting, “So, who’s going to ordain your son? Obviously, *you* can’t do it.” Did I mention this bishop was kind of a jerk?
  11. Yep. Top-down organizations usually struggle with communication and accountability. Often, going over a leader’s head can have negative consequences. A Bolivian guy I knew in the mission had an issue in a small branch: the church had rented a property as a meetinghouse that previously had been a brothel. Branch attendance went way down because no one wanted to be seen going in there. This missionary (who was the branch president) went up the chain of command through the district and mission presidency, and got nowhere. In desperation, he wrote a letter to President Kimball explaining the situation. Some weeks later, a very angry mission president showed up in the town and berated this missionary. They did find a different property, but the mission president made sure this elder served the rest of his mission in the “punishment” (castigo) areas.
  12. My point is that parents should prepare kids ahead of time as to what to do if things go awry in the interview. Of course, when my son said he didn’t want to discuss what the bishop was getting into, the bishop threatened to not advance him in the priesthood if he didn’t answer. Needless to say, I told the bishop he had no business discussing such things with a 14 year old, and if my son wasn’t advanced in the priesthood, that was on the bishop. That is interesting about not asking questions that arouse curiosity or experimentation. How exactly does one draw that line? I would think the best bet is to keep things general, such as, “Do you keep the law of chastity as the church teaches it?” Most priesthood-age kids understand the question, and I can’t think of a reason to dig deeper. I wonder if a lot of bishops just do interviews the way they were interviewed as children. That would explain a lot to me.
  13. You reminded me of my daughter telling me years after the fact of an overly graphic and intrusive bishop’s interview she had when she was 12. It was definitely traumatizing for her, and I feel kind of guilty for letting her go through that. At the time it wouldn’t have occurred to me to give her advice about a bishop’s interview. When I was 12, the bishop asked me if I masturbated. When I said I didn’t know what that meant, he explained it in way more detail than was necessary. At the time I didn’t even know such a thing was possible. After my loss of faith, I told my kids that if the bishop asked them something inappropriate or made them uncomfortable they should leave and tell the bishop they could talk to me. And they needed to tell me. A couple of my kids did exactly that. A window in the door might prevent physical abuse but certainly not inappropriate verbal abuse (which graphic sexual questions surely are). At the very least parents need to give kids clear guidelines for such interviews.
  14. How dare you confront me with factual information? Seriously, though, thank you for that.
  15. Maybe they could refer the local leaders to counseling and other resources.
  16. Yep. The hotline seems designed more to alert the church to potential legal risk for the organization rather than to minister to the abused.
  17. I think it was an intentional misspelling. Wittgenstein loses its talismanic properties if someone mistypes it on their phone.
  18. Yeah, the article cited was comparing fetuses to adults (actually just one adult in one of the studies). Seems wishful thinking to believe this puts things in serious doubt.
  19. “Fetal awareness of noxious stimuli requires functional thalamocortical connections. Thalamocortical fibers begin appearing between 23 to 30 weeks’ gestational age, while electroencephalography suggests the capacity for functional pain perception in preterm neonates probably does not exist before 29 or 30 weeks. … “Evidence regarding the capacity for fetal pain is limited but indicates that fetal perception of pain is unlikely before the third trimester. Little or no evidence addresses the effectiveness of direct fetal anesthetic or analgesic techniques. Similarly, limited or no data exist on the safety of such techniques for pregnant women in the context of abortion. Anesthetic techniques currently used during fetal surgery are not directly applicable to abortion procedures.” https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jama/fullarticle/201429#
  20. They didn’t ask me any questions or for advice but I think just wanted some support.
  21. When I was a teenager I knew some boys who blessed the sacrament while high. True story.
  22. I baptized people in rivers and lakes in Bolivia, sometimes where there were electric eels and snakes. And I’ve taken the sacrament high in the Sierra Nevada on a backpacking trip.
  23. I’m sure several people here can correct you of this notion. 😂
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