Duncan Posted October 31, 2013 Posted October 31, 2013 (edited) In my experience, often the harder one tries to find a spouse, the less successful one is. My daughter's best friend just graduated from BYU, and despite her intense efforts, is not married and isn't even dating anyone. As my daughter put it, when you are so obviously looking to get married, you kind of scare off potential husbands.A friend of mine from grad school got her MA from BYU and went off to Wisconsin for her PhD. We had a farewell party for her, and she remarked that going away to Wisconsin made it unlikely that she would meet an LDS man and get married, so she was not going to worry about it. Her first week in Madison she met a guy who had been baptized a couple of months earlier and was in Wisconsin temporarily for an internship. They've been married almost as long as we have.One of my mission companions had impossibly high standards for his potential wife: we used to tell him he wanted to marry someone who looked like Barbie, was happy being a perfect homemaker, and had a degree in nuclear physics. He dated a series of very attractive young women at BYU, but he would always break up with them, saying that, on reflection, he couldn't see the two of them together. (His parents met on a blind date and were engaged that same evening, so I think he had unrealistic expectations.) Eventually, he went to Minnesota for his PhD, where he met a woman who was a convert with a past and a child. Because she wasn't at all what he thought he was looking for, they became friends, and then they dated, and then they married.And as for me, during the school year when I turned 22, I began actively looking for a spouse. I was very attracted to one young woman in my FHE group, and I found excuses to spend time with her--and then she told me she thought I should ask her roommate out because the roommate liked me. At the same time, a young woman in my Latin American Studies program began what I can only call aggressively courting me, which really put me off. When I went home for a long weekend in February, I told my dad that I was going to stop worrying about dating and focus on my classes for the rest of the semester. Then my wife called me from Connecticut asking if I would pick her up at the airport (she was moving to Provo to go to school), and everything changed. Four weeks later we were engaged.So, my advice is not to stop dating, but to stop worrying about where it will lead. excellent advice! reminded me of this scene from TV's "Friends", http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M0RFmd1EWpo Edited October 31, 2013 by Duncan
thesometimesaint Posted October 31, 2013 Posted October 31, 2013 (edited) And how old was your spouse? I'm 28 and still single and have no idea what age I'll get married at and how old my wife will be. I was 20 and my wife 19 when we got married. We literally and figuratively grew up together. We're still together after 41 years working on eternity. Edited October 31, 2013 by thesometimesaint 1
Bill “Papa” Lee Posted October 31, 2013 Posted October 31, 2013 (edited) I was 18 and married an older woman, she was 19...and they said it couldn't work. 38 years now, all four children under the covenant. And all 6 grandchildren under the covenant. my oldest granddaughter can serve a mission in just 10, years...make that 9 years she is 10, today. Edited November 8, 2013 by Bill “Papa” Lee
Buzzard Posted October 31, 2013 Posted October 31, 2013 (edited) We were both 21. Got home from my mission on Friday just in time to start at BYU fall semester, met her the next week, started dating in November (First date was BYU basketball vs. the USSR national team, Danny Ainge and the boys showed those commies who was in charge), got engaged the day after final exams in December, married the next April, again the day after final exams. 33 years and counting. So whatever you might call me, you can't call me a menace to society. Edited October 31, 2013 by Buzzard
ERayR Posted October 31, 2013 Posted October 31, 2013 I am 72 my wife will soon be 69 and we were married 54 years ago. 1
Madmardigan Posted October 31, 2013 Posted October 31, 2013 26/23. Now 33/30. I left BYU-Idaho without getting married and found my wife in Alaska. It was looking pretty bleak up there until she showed up!
Mola Ram Suda Ram Posted October 31, 2013 Posted October 31, 2013 (edited) A bunch of old fogies in this thread. I was 25 wifey pooh was 24. It has been 10 years now. I had known her for about 8 years before we got married. She didn't know how much video gaming I did. Ha. Anyway I got married when I stopped looking. She just kind of fell into my lap. Edited October 31, 2013 by Mola Ram Suda Ram
Scott Lloyd Posted October 31, 2013 Posted October 31, 2013 And how old was your spouse? I'm 28 and still single and have no idea what age I'll get married at and how old my wife will be.41 and bride was 30. First marriage for both of us. We now have four beautiful children Hang in there. Hope springs eternal. 2
Kenngo1969 Posted October 31, 2013 Posted October 31, 2013 I've been married 3 times at (my age/wife's age) 20/18, 31/35 and 35/29. Make of that what you will What if I make, "Third time's the charm!" of it? (Best wishes: Seriously, I hope that's the case! ) 1
Kenngo1969 Posted October 31, 2013 Posted October 31, 2013 41 and bride was 30. First marriage for both of us. We now have four beautiful children Hang in there. Hope springs eternal.Congratulations, Scott! You're now my inspiration!
Kenngo1969 Posted November 1, 2013 Posted November 1, 2013 We were both 21. Got home from my mission on Friday just in time to start at BYU fall semester, met her the next week, started dating in November (First date was BYU basketball vs. the USSR national team, Danny Ainge and the boys showed those commies who was in charge), got engaged the day after final exams in December, married the next April, again the day after final exams. 33 years and counting. So whatever you might call me, you can't call me a menace to society. [Emphasis added by Kenngo1969]. Oh, yeah?! Well, I am, and proud of it! (It's not as though no one has ever had the opportunity to make me less menacing, if she were so inclined! )
VideoGameJunkie Posted November 1, 2013 Author Posted November 1, 2013 The thing keeping me from marriage right now is a good job. And not being as successful at ironing as I should be.
Garden Girl Posted November 1, 2013 Posted November 1, 2013 The thing keeping me from marriage right now is a good job. And not being as successful at ironing as I should be. Hello VGJ...You indicated you were envious of married couples... which I take to mean that you would like to be married... So my question is, what are you prepared to do to find a special LDS woman with whom to share your life... for instance, here in the wilds of the central Oregon coast, our ward is pretty small and we have only a handful of young people... the young single adult ward meets at the stake center 60 miles inland.We have a returned missionary in our ward who is planning on moving to Idaho or Utah to go to school, so he can be in proximity with numerous young women his age. I'm so glad he is thinking along these lines because his chances for marriage if he stays here are practically zilch... sometimes you have to turn a corner in life to open up opportunities... for education, for social life or career, for marriage, etc.I don't recall if you said where you're from but I would encourage you to seriously consider some changes in your life if necessary that would give you new opportunities... you're still young... GG
Nathair/|\ Posted November 1, 2013 Posted November 1, 2013 Relationships with other humans are over-rated. Just get a dog for companionship. You won't put your heart and soul into a relationship with your dog for ten years only for her to get bored, find someone else on the internet and two weeks later on your birthday move across country to be with him. 1
VideoGameJunkie Posted November 1, 2013 Author Posted November 1, 2013 Hello VGJ...You indicated you were envious of married couples... which I take to mean that you would like to be married... So my question is, what are you prepared to do to find a special LDS woman with whom to share your life... for instance, here in the wilds of the central Oregon coast, our ward is pretty small and we have only a handful of young people... the young single adult ward meets at the stake center 60 miles inland.We have a returned missionary in our ward who is planning on moving to Idaho or Utah to go to school, so he can be in proximity with numerous young women his age. I'm so glad he is thinking along these lines because his chances for marriage if he stays here are practically zilch... sometimes you have to turn a corner in life to open up opportunities... for education, for social life or career, for marriage, etc.I don't recall if you said where you're from but I would encourage you to seriously consider some changes in your life if necessary that would give you new opportunities... you're still young... GGI attend a singles ward, but unfortunately there's very few LDS in the northeast. I'm trying to date, but not so much luck so far. I'm just hoping to find someone that loves me as much as I love them.
Duncan Posted November 1, 2013 Posted November 1, 2013 Relationships with other humans are over-rated. Just get a dog for companionship. You won't put your heart and soul into a relationship with your dog for ten years only for her to get bored, find someone else on the internet and two weeks later on your birthday move across country to be with him. eeeeeeeeeek!! Sorry to hear that-I hear you though
Duncan Posted November 1, 2013 Posted November 1, 2013 The thing keeping me from marriage right now is a good job. And not being as successful at ironing as I should be. oh man! I do both, I am excellent at ironing! one thing I still do from the mission but yeah no girl, as much as I want one though!
Mormon Factor Posted November 1, 2013 Posted November 1, 2013 I was 25.5, she was 25.2 That was 12 years ago. She was my girlfriend in middle school. I now teach middle school. Sometimes I tell people I met my wife in middle school. They look at me kinda funny. LOL 1
Lachoneus Posted November 1, 2013 Posted November 1, 2013 (edited) I was 22, she was 27. Next month that will be 37 years ago.When people tell me how good looking my children are, I tell them they obviously got my good looks. Their mother still has hers. Edited November 1, 2013 by Lachoneus 1
Brenda Posted November 2, 2013 Posted November 2, 2013 I'm super jealous of married couples.Your name might be a clue. Many women think gamers fall to the bottom of the sexy chart. I heard somewhere that men are attracted to looks, and women are attracted to ambition. I, as a woman, would agree with that. Good luck. Oh, and I was 20. He was 21. No regrets.
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