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6 minutes ago, Valentinus said:

... rejoining the church is going to take soooo long.

? - usually only if there is a lot of repentance to be worked through.

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5 hours ago, Valentinus said:

... rejoining the church is going to take soooo long.

Which one?  You have been interested in several over the years.

And is the rejoining length due to a personal difficulty or an institutional one?

edited to add:  Serious question, in rereading it I realized it probably comes across as critical when I am just asking for clarification because Val has shared a lot about his journey over the years and I don't want to assume.

Edited by Calm
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I'd guess Val means he still has fundamental disagreements with the Church, and that is why it's going to take a long time.

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3 hours ago, Valentinus said:

... rejoining the church is going to take soooo long.

Nothin' worth havin' ever comes easy, Val.  Trust me: I'm an expert on that.  As always, I wish you well. :) 

Edited by Kenngo1969
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4 hours ago, Calm said:

Which one?  You have been interested in several over the years.

And is the rejoining length due to a personal difficulty or an institutional one.

The LDS church. I don't have faith but I have an idea. I'm not sure there is a God. I guess I'm hoping. I feel like my conscience is dragging me back to the church and I've been fighting it kicking and screaming. For real though...how does a person without faith feel the need to go back? I'm writing this here so I can get it out and stop thinking about it so much. I'm so angry and confused by these feelings but I can't help but also feel elation and a sense of calm. I'm really pissed off.

I need a therapist. 

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Sounds quite interesting and makes me grateful for my relatively dull life.

I hope you come to a solid solution for yourself that satisfies all of you...and I hope that can be you gaining faith and coming back because that would be wonderful in my view.

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1 hour ago, Valentinus said:

The LDS church. I don't have faith but I have an idea. I'm not sure there is a God. I guess I'm hoping. I feel like my conscience is dragging me back to the church and I've been fighting it kicking and screaming. For real though...how does a person without faith feel the need to go back? I'm writing this here so I can get it out and stop thinking about it so much. I'm so angry and confused by these feelings but I can't help but also feel elation and a sense of calm. I'm really pissed off.

I need a therapist. 

Just reading between the lines here, but if you feel something dragging you back, maybe you have more faith than you think you do. 

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Val...Hey...Be assured of my prayers. Which is also a way to say...I wish you well.

Rory

 

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Hello Val...

Let me encourage you... When I was inactive, the Spirit would pull at me from time to time (and I think that's what is happening to you)... until finally I told my husband that I was really feeling the need to return to Church, and he said... Then you should.  Thankfully, he encouraged me as I went through the process of reactivating... and regaining my full faith and testimony (if you remember, I was inactive for 34 years).  

So let me cheer you on... from someone who knows that feeling... who has been there and done that... 

All good wishes... GG

 

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On 6/16/2017 at 5:58 PM, Valentinus said:

The LDS church. I don't have faith but I have an idea. I'm not sure there is a God. I guess I'm hoping. I feel like my conscience is dragging me back to the church and I've been fighting it kicking and screaming. For real though...how does a person without faith feel the need to go back? I'm writing this here so I can get it out and stop thinking about it so much. I'm so angry and confused by these feelings but I can't help but also feel elation and a sense of calm. I'm really pissed off.

I need a therapist. 

Val, in all seriousness, I truly enjoy your posts; it is not that we agree in all things, but that I appreciate your thoughts.  Those feelings of calm, elation and the desire to follow are faith.  What appears to be the conflict is that your mortal man is fighting against the spiritual individual that you are.  What is so wonderful is that you recognize it and in anger, confusion, you still take one step forward knowing that God is working in and through you.  The road is a short as the humble, broken heart saying, "Here am I; I would follow thee."  

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If you don't mind me asking, what possessed you to want to attend church again? 

Sometimes I think I want to go back as well. It came home for me when a neighbor, young man, came by because he needed to borrow our hammock stand for a set-up to sell hammocks at a 4th of July town fair. 

I taught him years ago in primary, and I wasn't expecting his genuinely friendliness toward me, and really wasn't expecting the hug! In fact when he left I teared up because I missed that so much in the church, the loving people. No one in the ward has came to our house for a long time, including our HT'rs. Maybe that's why I was emotional about the hug, especially. 

Is that what led you back to attending that day? Just curious, because I know that would lead me back. Not too sure I believe all of it, but I would attend for the kinship. 

Good luck with whatever you do. And who's to say you can't just attend whenever you feel like it right? :)

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10 hours ago, Storm Rider said:

Val, in all seriousness, I truly enjoy your posts; it is not that we agree in all things, but that I appreciate your thoughts.  Those feelings of calm, elation and the desire to follow are faith.  What appears to be the conflict is that your mortal man is fighting against the spiritual individual that you are.  What is so wonderful is that you recognize it and in anger, confusion, you still take one step forward knowing that God is working in and through you.  The road is a short as the humble, broken heart saying, "Here am I; I would follow thee."  

Mark 9:23-25. This is so much greater than any other. I don't know what to recognize. There are more questions than there are answers.

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22 hours ago, Valentinus said:

Mark 9:23-25. This is so much greater than any other. I don't know what to recognize. There are more questions than there are answers.

I've discovered that for each answered question there are more delightful questions!  Until we come to a fulness I believe we can be constantly amazed by new truth.

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