Home/Visiting Teaching to be discontinued

[flameburns623]

Here's what came in my email:

https://www.lds.org/church/news/ministering-to-replace-home-and-visiting-teaching?lang=eng&cid=email-OCA_040118_CTA2

[churchistrue]

What do you guys think of this being called a revelation? And do you think Pres. Nelson in his talk Sunday is intentionally trying to demystify the concept of revelation and make us expect it to happen more regularly and call somewhat ordinary changes "revelations"? Do you see this as a "water down" of the word revelation? Is that a good or bad thing?

http://www.churchistrue.com/blog/russell-m-nelson-revelation-for-the-church-revelation-for-our-lives/

[JAHS]

An interview with Tom Cruz's regarding Home teaching:

 

[JLHPROF]

10 minutes ago, churchistrue said:

What do you guys think of this being called a revelation? And do you think Pres. Nelson in his talk Sunday is intentionally trying to demystify the concept of revelation and make us expect it to happen more regularly and call somewhat ordinary changes "revelations"? Do you see this as a "water down" of the word revelation? Is that a good or bad thing?

http://www.churchistrue.com/blog/russell-m-nelson-revelation-for-the-church-revelation-for-our-lives/

I see most of what the Church today labels as "revelation" being a watered down version of the word.

Somewhere we went from God's word to good feelings.

[rockpond]

On 4/1/2018 at 2:54 PM, The Nehor said:

Fixed that for you.

Call it what you want, for better or worse, MormonLeaks and @FearlessFixxer seems to be gaining steam lately.

[rockpond]

2 minutes ago, JLHPROF said:

I see most of what the Church today labels as "revelation" being a watered down version of the word.

Somewhere we went from God's word to good feelings.

Yes, I agree.  The most of the recent descriptions of revelation coming from the prophet and apostles describe it as a process whereby the 15 spend weeks or months discussing something, once they reach consensus and experience a spirit of unity, it is deemed to be revelation from God to the prophet.

[churchistrue]

3 minutes ago, rockpond said:

Yes, I agree.  The most of the recent descriptions of revelation coming from the prophet and apostles describe it as a process whereby the 15 spend weeks or months discussing something, once they reach consensus and experience a spirit of unity, it is deemed to be revelation from God to the prophet.

Is this a bad thing? I see it as a good trend. If revelation is not seen as grand and mysterious, it's more likely we should expect more of it.

[mnn727]

I'm kind of at a loss. I have been a 100% Home Teacher for years, making my appointments usually the first week of the month. Now I feel like I need some direction, hopefully this coming Sunday.

I am not an extrovert, I've tried conversation but I'm at a loss after a few minutes. Other than Church and the Gospel, I have very little in common with my families, but with a lesson, it always worked out OK.

I'm kind of lost here.

[rockpond]

Just now, churchistrue said:

Is this a bad thing? I see it as a good trend. If revelation is not seen as grand and mysterious, it's more likely we should expect more of it.

I'm not sure.  I still like to believe in a church that is led by the Lord himself.  But it is sounding more like it is just our prophet and apostles being able to reach consensus (possibly after a limited trial run) and then deeming it revelation.

[rockpond]

2 minutes ago, mnn727 said:

I'm kind of at a loss. I have been a 100% Home Teacher for years, making my appointments usually the first week of the month. Now I feel like I need some direction, hopefully this coming Sunday.

I am not an extrovert, I've tried conversation but I'm at a loss after a few minutes. Other than Church and the Gospel, I have very little in common with my families, but with a lesson, it always worked out OK.

I'm kind of lost here.

What I heard is that we need to ponder and pray (and ask) to determine how to best serve our families.  Maybe that will still be a lesson on the first week of every month.

For me, ministering from the ward would best come from figuring out ways they can include my children so they don't come home from church crying.

[ksfisher]

2 minutes ago, mnn727 said:

I'm kind of at a loss. I have been a 100% Home Teacher for years, making my appointments usually the first week of the month. Now I feel like I need some direction, hopefully this coming Sunday.

I am not an extrovert, I've tried conversation but I'm at a loss after a few minutes. Other than Church and the Gospel, I have very little in common with my families, but with a lesson, it always worked out OK.

I'm kind of lost here.

I'm kind of like you, I'm not really good at chit-chat.  I've thought about incorporating a scripture or short spiritual thought into the visit.  With the First Presidency message being discontinued we just have to come up with it on our own, which could be a great opportunity to receive some inspiration and tailor the thought/scripture to each family.

[rongo]

Those who did their home teaching regularly and did lessons should not feel any trepidation or shame in continuing to do that, in my view. Maybe ask your families what they would prefer --- still monthly, or less? And, let them know (and feel) that they can call you for anything. A few months ago, one of my families called me urgently needing documents in a safe in their master bedroom closet. The sister impressively walked me through how to get into the safe, and then, how to find what they needed in the safe (which was full of important papers and other things. It would have taken forever to find the the items, but she could perfectly visualize in her mind where everything was in relation to the other papers and things. Obviously, they trusted their home teacher/bishop to have the code to their house, safe combination, etc. Not everyone has that kind of trust with their home teacher, but they were really in a bind and needed some information from important papers immediately, so it was good that they finally had something I could help them with (they've never "needed" anything until then).

Our ward has long modified home teaching even prior to this, where we had it prioritized so that the people who really needed home teachers had them and families who didn't really want monthly visits weren't visited as often. You would be surprised (or maybe not   ) how many on the ward council wanted to be on the "not every month" list. I would definitely tailor what we do to the needs and wishes of the families. The changes encourage this. They may not want monthly visits, but if they do, then by all means, continue that. 

[rockpond]

17 minutes ago, rongo said:

Our ward has long modified home teaching even prior to this, where we had it prioritized so that the people who really needed home teachers had them and families who didn't really want monthly visits weren't visited as often. You would be surprised (or maybe not   ) how many on the ward council wanted to be on the "not every month" list. I would definitely tailor what we do to the needs and wishes of the families. The changes encourage this. They may not want monthly visits, but if they do, then by all means, continue that. 

That's great that you did this modification.  I'm on the ward council and my home teacher is currently a member of the stake presidency.  He and his son are zealous about making it to our house every month for lessons and they do visits that last 45 minutes to an hour.  Due to our callings, church meetings/firesides, and some service that we do each Sunday, our family time is limited on the Sabbath.  I know that my home teacher would do anything for us.  We also have three siblings in town to help out when we need it.  I wish that my home teacher would back off on the monthly visits and with this change, I'm hopeful that we can work together and make that happen.  As I mentioned above, what our family needs more than anything is for our kids to feel welcomed into the new ward.  My wife and I both hold ward and stake callings right now and the hardest thing about our church involvement isn't the hours we commit to our callings, it's that one of more of our children frequently come home from church meetings/activities in tears from feeling ostracized.

[rongo]

9 minutes ago, rockpond said:

That's great that you did this modification.  I'm on the ward council and my home teacher is currently a member of the stake presidency.  He and his son are zealous about making it to our house every month for lessons and they do visits that last 45 minutes to an hour.  Due to our callings, church meetings/firesides, and some service that we do each Sunday, our family time is limited on the Sabbath. 

The plain and simple fact is that, for many, home teaching is a burden and an inconvenience, like you pointed out. Hopefully, the change allows people to better suit it for both parties involved in cases like this. 

 As I mentioned above, what our family needs more than anything is for our kids to feel welcomed into the new ward.  My wife and I both hold ward and stake callings right now and the hardest thing about our church involvement isn't the hours we commit to our callings, it's that one of more of our children frequently come home from church meetings/activities in tears from feeling ostracized.

How old are your children? 

One thing I'm really grateful for is the fact that my ward does not have the "cool" people. We have some really awkward youth, but they are all really nice and good kids. The big factor for us in choosing where to live when we moved up into town was the personalities of the different wards, and there are definitely some wards with more of the richer, "cool" people whose youth are like you could predict --- and these wards have attendant problems. Some wards we would not have moved into based on the youth in those wards, and cliques. But, people can't always control where they live, or what their ward boundaries are. 

Hope you're able to have some good things happen with your kids and your ward!

[mnn727]

1 hour ago, rockpond said:

For me, ministering from the ward would best come from figuring out ways they can include my children so they don't come home from church crying.

Care to expound on that?

[Garden Girl]

On 4/1/2018 at 5:36 PM, flameburns623 said:

Here's what came in my email:

https://www.lds.org/church/news/ministering-to-replace-home-and-visiting-teaching?lang=eng&cid=email-OCA_040118_CTA2

I've been distraught at losing my "home teachers."  After reading the above link, I'm somewhat heartened... I had great trust in the two brothers who were faithful home teachers and actually were "ministers" to me for the past several years.  They had the spirit of service as described in the link.  However, now I don't know what to expect... I'm very careful who I invite into my home or life... there are several men in the ward that I would not feel comfortable with, and will not hesitate to say so should they be "assigned" me/my household to minister to...   I get the thinking behind the change but will miss the wonderful formal monthly visits from my HT, the level of discussions we would have,  how they regularly brought the priesthood into my home, how they would always ask if I needed anything, and were so willing to do the little things like change light bulbs (since I can no longer climb ladders), or larger things like repair my fence damaged by our "high Winds", but most of all the wonderful prayer at the end of the visits (more like a priesthood blessing).  And yes, I knew I could call on them no matter what... they were already living the spirit of ministering... sigh...

GG

[rongo]

3 minutes ago, Garden Girl said:

I've been distraught at losing my "home teachers."  After reading the above link, I'm somewhat heartened... I had great trust in the two brothers who were faithful home teachers and actually were "ministers" to me for the past several years.  They had the spirit of service as described in the link.  However, now I don't know what to expect... I'm very careful who I invite into my home or life... there are several men in the ward that I would not feel comfortable with, and will not hesitate to say so should they be "assigned" me/my household to minister to...   I get the thinking behind the change but will miss the wonderful formal monthly visits from my HT, the level of discussions we would have,  how they regularly brought the priesthood into my home, how they would always ask if I needed anything, and were so willing to do the little things like change light bulbs (since I can no longer climb ladders), or larger things like repair my fence damaged by our "high Winds", but most of all the wonderful prayer at the end of the visits (more like a priesthood blessing).  And yes, I knew I could call on them no matter what... they were already living the spirit of ministering... sigh...

GG

This is going to be one of the "growing pains" challenges moving forward. These new hybrid elder-high priest elders quorum presidencies are probably not going to just leave existing "home teaching routes" and companionship assignments in place, like they were before the changes. They are probably going to revamp and revisit some things. So, there's going to be some adjustment for people who a) like the old way, b) liked their old home teachers, etc. 

There's a principle behind these changes. We had a Seventy visit when Preach My Gospel came out. He explained that good missionaries had always done this, even with the discussions. And it's true. I remember teaching people what they needed and not getting "credit" for a "lesson taught" because it was what they needed. I remember not "sticking to the discussions." Etc. Similarly, I think that "good home teachers" have always done the "ministering" introduced in this conference.

[rockpond]

7 minutes ago, rongo said:

How old are your children? 

One thing I'm really grateful for is the fact that my ward does not have the "cool" people. We have some really awkward youth, but they are all really nice and good kids. The big factor for us in choosing where to live when we moved up into town was the personalities of the different wards, and there are definitely some wards with more of the richer, "cool" people whose youth are like you could predict --- and these wards have attendant problems. Some wards we would not have moved into based on the youth in those wards, and cliques. But, people can't always control where they live, or what their ward boundaries are. 

Hope you're able to have some good things happen with your kids and your ward!

16, 13, 10, 8.

6 minutes ago, mnn727 said:

Care to expound on that?

We had a boundary changes recently that put my kids into a ward where nearly all the other kids attend other schools.  So when my kids attend, the kids that all know each other don't include my kids.  It isn't malicious but the end result is that my kids don't have friends in the ward.  My 16 year old is just slipping into inactivity.  We make him go to church but we can't really force him to engage with people once he is there.  My 13 year old and 10 year old frequently come home crying because they feel so ostracized from their peers.

[Scott Lloyd]

3 hours ago, Garden Girl said:

I've been distraught at losing my "home teachers."  After reading the above link, I'm somewhat heartened... I had great trust in the two brothers who were faithful home teachers and actually were "ministers" to me for the past several years.  They had the spirit of service as described in the link.  However, now I don't know what to expect... I'm very careful who I invite into my home or life... there are several men in the ward that I would not feel comfortable with, and will not hesitate to say so should they be "assigned" me/my household to minister to...   I get the thinking behind the change but will miss the wonderful formal monthly visits from my HT, the level of discussions we would have,  how they regularly brought the priesthood into my home, how they would always ask if I needed anything, and were so willing to do the little things like change light bulbs (since I can no longer climb ladders), or larger things like repair my fence damaged by our "high Winds", but most of all the wonderful prayer at the end of the visits (more like a priesthood blessing).  And yes, I knew I could call on them no matter what... they were already living the spirit of ministering... sigh...

GG

I have a hunch that if you let the ward leadership know of your feelings about your current home teachers, there won't be any reassignments made.

And if you let your "ministering brothers" know how much you cherish their monthly visits, they will be more than happy to continue them. At least, that's what I would do if I were in their place.

 

[sheilauk]

3 hours ago, Garden Girl said:

I've been distraught at losing my "home teachers."  After reading the above link, I'm somewhat heartened... I had great trust in the two brothers who were faithful home teachers and actually were "ministers" to me for the past several years.  They had the spirit of service as described in the link.  However, now I don't know what to expect... I'm very careful who I invite into my home or life... there are several men in the ward that I would not feel comfortable with, and will not hesitate to say so should they be "assigned" me/my household to minister to...   I get the thinking behind the change but will miss the wonderful formal monthly visits from my HT, the level of discussions we would have,  how they regularly brought the priesthood into my home, how they would always ask if I needed anything, and were so willing to do the little things like change light bulbs (since I can no longer climb ladders), or larger things like repair my fence damaged by our "high Winds", but most of all the wonderful prayer at the end of the visits (more like a priesthood blessing).  And yes, I knew I could call on them no matter what... they were already living the spirit of ministering... sigh...

GG

I don't see why if you want and need that to happen, the ministering brothers should not continue doing all that!   I also don't see why you should lose those brothers as your "ministers".  As far as I can seem it's mostly a change of name and changes to paperwork, plus cooperation between presidencies.  It's a renewed emphasis on how it always should have been.  Your HTs seem to have been acting in the spirit intended! 

[Jeanne]

3 hours ago, rockpond said:

16, 13, 10, 8.

We had a boundary changes recently that put my kids into a ward where nearly all the other kids attend other schools.  So when my kids attend, the kids that all know each other don't include my kids.  It isn't malicious but the end result is that my kids don't have friends in the ward.  My 16 year old is just slipping into inactivity.  We make him go to church but we can't really force him to engage with people once he is there.  My 13 year old and 10 year old frequently come home crying because they feel so ostracized from their peers.

So sorry about this.  I hope they can adapt and yet this is a big time in their lives.  Best to you and family.

[JLHPROF]

4 hours ago, rockpond said:

16, 13, 10, 8.

We had a boundary changes recently that put my kids into a ward where nearly all the other kids attend other schools.  So when my kids attend, the kids that all know each other don't include my kids.  It isn't malicious but the end result is that my kids don't have friends in the ward.  My 16 year old is just slipping into inactivity.  We make him go to church but we can't really force him to engage with people once he is there.  My 13 year old and 10 year old frequently come home crying because they feel so ostracized from their peers.

Be a rebel.  Attend the old ward.
Isn't it worth your kid's testimony?

[Calm]

8 minutes ago, JLHPROF said:

Be a rebel.  Attend the old ward.
Isn't it worth your kid's testimony?

If the kids aren't willing and leaders can't come up with activities that will fold your kids in, I agree...take them to the old ward and hopefully it won't be too late to reform old friendships.

[Hamba Tuhan]

10 hours ago, rongo said:

I think that "good home teachers" have always done the "ministering" introduced in this conference.

Yeah, we haven't had our conference sessions here yet, but I've read carefully all the materials available online and was with my stake president last night as he participated by telephone in a training meeting with our local Seventy. My takeaway impression: I and most men I know have already been doing all this.

Edited April 6, 2018 by Hamba Tuhan

[rockpond]

2 hours ago, JLHPROF said:

Be a rebel.  Attend the old ward.
Isn't it worth your kid's testimony?

 

2 hours ago, Calm said:

If the kids aren't willing and leaders can't come up with activities that will fold your kids in, I agree...take them to the old ward and hopefully it won't be too late to reform old friendships.

The old ward no longer exists.  It was divided into three pieces and split between two stakes.

They have to attend released-time seminary in the other stake.  I think that has helped my oldest at least connect with the kids at his school.  I’m hoping that it will help my 13 year old when he enters high school next year. 

Not sure what to do with 10 year old daughter.  She’s super devout but feels broken hearted so often at church. 

It’s crazy, even though I am not considered a faithful member by some here, because of my views, I still have a hard time with my kids not feeling like they have a place in the church.  And serving as YM Pres, I often have to go to activities without my sons.

Sorry.  I’m venting.  I need to stop.