Infallibility of Patriarchal Blessings

[bluebell]

4 hours ago, Duncan said:

Does it make any real difference what tribe one comes from? I know people that come from various tribes and as far as I can tell they don't live their lives any differently, everyone is to preach the gospel and build Zion

I struggle with my blessing, I call it a burden, it hasn't provided me any real direction or has ever really been much value in my life and certaintly most of it hasn't ever come to pass.  I am beyond agonizing over it. For example, I am told to become "acquainted" with the scriptures but to come to know their "true meaning"-To me to become acquainted with something is to have  a basic passing knowledge of something but hardly intimate or really knowing something, like you know someone but not much beyond their name and a few facts, but then how does that  square with supposedly knowing their true meaning,?it can't be both, if so why use the word "acquaint" and yet "true meaning"? it's like all over the place. I have been praying to know meanings and relevancy in my life and I get nothing, despite a promise that I would be given revelation in my life, so why promise something, then the person asks for it for it but then not be given it?  My brothers' blessing says he'll have  a family and be interested in family history. My brother is on the spectrum, he has zero interest in anybody, sexually speaking, he has never had a girlfriend, and doesn't seem to be interested in anyone and he doesn't care at all about family history, so if God wanted him to be or knew he would be then that failed, so what was supposed to happen I have no idea

Have you considered requesting a second blessing?  

[Duncan]

19 minutes ago, bluebell said:

Have you considered requesting a second blessing?  

I have but I don't know how to go about it

[JAHS]

Patriarchs  are not fortune tellers nor are they perfect. They may have had a moment when they were not really listening to the spirit as they gave the blessing.
Elder LeGrand Richards told a story of a patriarch who once said to a woman, "I have a wonderful blessing for you." But when the patriarch laid his hands on the head of the recipient, his mind went completely blank. He apologized. "I was mistaken. I do not have a blessing for you. It is the Lord who has the blessing for you." The woman came back the next day, and after the patriarch had prayerfully importuned the Lord, a blessing came that mentioned many concerns known only to this good sister." (Patriarchal blessings come from God Priesthood Blessings, October 1995)

Even if on occasion a Patriarch does not happen to be very inspired; not to worry. A Patriarchal blessing is not a saving ordinance that is required for exaltation; it is simply a road map to follow, and of things to try and accomplish as we journey through life.

The Patriarchal Blessing itself is not a prediction nor surety of future events. As President Thomas S. Monson once said and Duncun referred to: “A patriarchal blessing literally contains chapters from your book of eternal possibilities" (Ensign, November 1986, pages 66-67).
That's possibilities; not probabilities.

Just as the Liahona in Lehi's time only worked when those using it were righteous and obedient; patriarchal blessings are similarly conditional on faith and righteousness. There may have been conditions within the blessings that the recipients did not comply with.

God does not interfere with man's agency. If someone does something to another either intentionally or accidentally that makes it not possible for a blessing to  be realized, God is not likely to interfere just because their patriarchal blessing suggested otherwise.

Rather than thinking it of things that will happen we should treat our Patriarchal blessing as a list of goals that God would like us to accomplish in our life that can help us return to Him.

Truth be told I hardly ever read my patriarchal blessing to see if things are going the way it said, but it's nice when I do see some things in it that have actually happened in my life. 

[Duncan]

11 minutes ago, JAHS said:

Patriarchs  are not fortune tellers nor are they perfect. They may have had a moment when they were not really listening to the spirit as they gave the blessing.
Elder LeGrand Richards told a story of a patriarch who once said to a woman, "I have a wonderful blessing for you." But when the patriarch laid his hands on the head of the recipient, his mind went completely blank. He apologized. "I was mistaken. I do not have a blessing for you. It is the Lord who has the blessing for you." The woman came back the next day, and after the patriarch had prayerfully importuned the Lord, a blessing came that mentioned many concerns known only to this good sister." (Patriarchal blessings come from God Priesthood Blessings, October 1995)

Even if on occasion a Patriarch does not happen to be very inspired; not to worry. A Patriarchal blessing is not a saving ordinance that is required for exaltation; it is simply a road map to follow, and of things to try and accomplish as we journey through life.

The Patriarchal Blessing itself is not a prediction nor surety of future events. As President Thomas S. Monson once said and Duncun referred to: “A patriarchal blessing literally contains chapters from your book of eternal possibilities" (Ensign, November 1986, pages 66-67).
That's possibilities; not probabilities.

Just as the Liahona in Lehi's time only worked when those using it were righteous and obedient; patriarchal blessings are similarly conditional on faith and righteousness. There may have been conditions within the blessings that the recipients did not comply with.

God does not interfere with man's agency. If someone does something to another either intentionally or accidentally that makes it not possible for a blessing to  be realized, God is not likely to interfere just because their patriarchal blessing suggested otherwise.

Rather than thinking it of things that will happen we should treat our Patriarchal blessing as a list of goals that God would like us to accomplish in our life that can help us return to Him.

Truth be told I hardly ever read my patriarchal blessing to see if things are going the way it said, but it's nice when I do see some things in it that have actually happened in my life. 

this is nice, for me I view it well, almost none of this has happened and I dunno, can't happen now, so maybe God doesn't think i'm faithful enough, am I fooling myself for trying to be faithful? I am active in the Church, serve, pay tithing, attend the Temple but yet.........I dunno

Edited December 31, 2019 by Duncan

[MiserereNobis]

12 hours ago, bluebell said:

I don’t have time to address everything in the OP except to say that it is possible to get a second patriarchal blessing. 

Is this common? Is there some sort of procedural hurdle to go through, like explaining why or proving something was amiss? Or is "I don't like this one" good enough?

[MiserereNobis]

12 hours ago, Calm said:

Blessings are dependent on agency also.  Thus if a person was blessed to have a large family, but never got married, it would not be assumed to be a false prophecy.  And the chance for the blessing isn't lost, but something that could be fulfilled somehow in the next life, either because the person repented of the choices that led to the loss of the blessing or it wasn't their fault ( perhaps in a car accident leaving them comatose).

 

12 hours ago, Scott Lloyd said:

Without presuming to speak for MiserereNobis, I would hazard a guess that he understands this already but that it still does not preclude the possibility that the patriarch simply gets it wrong and does not obviate whatever problems might result therefrom. 
 

I confess that I don’t have a ready answer. 

Yes, I'm thinking more along the lines of the patriarch gets it wrong rather than something happens that keeps the blessing from occurring.

[MiserereNobis]

11 hours ago, PacMan said:

It’s a blessing. Not a horoscope. And like any blessing, it’s not a ceiling but a baseline. If you miss a blessing, the atonement is big enough to make up for it in other ways. 

While this may be true (from the LDS viewpoint), it really doesn't address my questions. What if in the blessing the patriarch says, "God will bless you with x, y, and z" and in fact that is not God's will, but just the patriarch speaking as a human, thinking he is speaking for God. That's not missing a blessing, that's the "blessing" being a mistake from the beginning.

[CV75]

6 hours ago, Duncan said:

Does it make any real difference what tribe one comes from? I know people that come from various tribes and as far as I can tell they don't live their lives any differently, everyone is to preach the gospel and build Zion

I struggle with my blessing, I call it a burden, it hasn't provided me any real direction or has ever really been much value in my life and certaintly most of it hasn't ever come to pass.  I am beyond agonizing over it. For example, I am told to become "acquainted" with the scriptures but to come to know their "true meaning"-To me to become acquainted with something is to have  a basic passing knowledge of something but hardly intimate or really knowing something, like you know someone but not much beyond their name and a few facts, but then how does that  square with supposedly knowing their true meaning,?it can't be both, if so why use the word "acquaint" and yet "true meaning"? it's like all over the place. I have been praying to know meanings and relevancy in my life and I get nothing, despite a promise that I would be given revelation in my life, so why promise something, then the person asks for it for it but then not be given it?  My brothers' blessing says he'll have  a family and be interested in family history. My brother is on the spectrum, he has zero interest in anybody, sexually speaking, he has never had a girlfriend, and doesn't seem to be interested in anyone and he doesn't care at all about family history, so if God wanted him to be or knew he would be then that failed, so what was supposed to happen I have no idea

This is truly between you and the Lord, but consider that "acquaint" means to be familiar with, and to furnish with knowledge or inform. Also that the blessings are spirit-to-spirit, so that your brother for example may be benefiting in his spirit far more than might be apparent to the outside world. Sometimes these things approach a level of  "too scared to share," but tribal lineage / adoption certainly carries weight for many people (there are also some scholarly resources discussing tribal affilliation from a CES perspective).

[CV75]

21 minutes ago, MiserereNobis said:

While this may be true (from the LDS viewpoint), it really doesn't address my questions. What if in the blessing the patriarch says, "God will bless you with x, y, and z" and in fact that is not God's will, but just the patriarch speaking as a human, thinking he is speaking for God. That's not missing a blessing, that's the "blessing" being a mistake from the beginning.

But if someone deals with it as the constant companionship of the Holy Ghost would allow, the blessing is "corrected." Another example is, people can be baptized and confirmed by the most unworthy people, but that does not negate the validity of the ordinances.

[Tacenda]

19 minutes ago, MiserereNobis said:

While this may be true (from the LDS viewpoint), it really doesn't address my questions. What if in the blessing the patriarch says, "God will bless you with x, y, and z" and in fact that is not God's will, but just the patriarch speaking as a human, thinking he is speaking for God. That's not missing a blessing, that's the "blessing" being a mistake from the beginning.

In the ex-mormon community forums many have mentioned a blessing that steered them into paths they wish they hadn't taken, or some, like a woman's blessing, steered them from a career they had wanted one day but instead instructed them to raise a family and put off those desires. So blessings, right or wrong, do indeed affect many that get them. Or maybe have an effect that someone can't live up to in the blessing, such as a blessing that says they'll one day be an apostle or? in the church or something like that. And some mentioned getting nearly the exact same blessing as a friend got. And they being cynical wondered if that's why we're asked to keep them private. Or some older members blessing mentioned it will be the second coming in their lifetimes. But this is all secondhand, so don't know what to believe, really.

I got my blessing later in life, because for some reason, no one approached me about getting one in my youth, could have been because of a move when I was turning 16, and the leaders or my parents or myself dropped the ball. So when I was in my thirties I really wanted to get one. In my blessing, I guess since I was so old, it wasn't really a road map or anything, just stating what I was. It basically said I was a peacemaker. Which I do tend to try to be. But it was a very nice experience, and I had both my parents attend. 

[JAHS]

58 minutes ago, Duncan said:

this is nice, for me I view it well, almost none of this has happened and I dunno, can't happen now, so maybe God doesn't think i'm faithful enough, am I fooling myself for trying to be faithful? I am active in the Church, serve, pay tithing, attend the Temple but yet.........I dunno

That's why I don't look at the blessing as things that will happen; only as things that could happen. In fact I haven't read mine in a long time and I am not even sure where it is right now. Lots of members have lived and died without ever getting a patriarchal blessing. Sounds to me like you are doing just fine anyway. 
 

[bluebell]

1 hour ago, MiserereNobis said:

Is this common? Is there some sort of procedural hurdle to go through, like explaining why or proving something was amiss? Or is "I don't like this one" good enough?

It's not common but I don't believe there has to be any specific reason.  As far as I'm aware it's handled on a case-by-case basis as to why a new one is wanted, and you have to get your stake president's approval.

 

[bluebell]

2 hours ago, Duncan said:

I have but I don't know how to go about it

You should totally talk to your bishop about it.  Your blessings has been a source of pain for you and if anyone deserves a new one I think it's you.

[Calm]

1 hour ago, JAHS said:

t is simply a road map to follow, and of things to try and accomplish as we journey through life.

A road map implies it is rather specific. Some may be, but outside temple marriage which from what I hear is pretty common, mine was generalities...closer to a broad mission statement that could be approached in many different ways than a road map. 

Edited December 31, 2019 by Calm

[Duncan]

11 minutes ago, bluebell said:

You should totally talk to your bishop about it.  Your blessings has been a source of pain for you and if anyone deserves a new one I think it's you.

Thank you!!!! I just emailed him, i'l see what he says

[Raingirl]

50 minutes ago, JAHS said:

That's why I don't look at the blessing as things that will happen; only as things that could happen. In fact I haven't read mine in a long time and I am not even sure where it is right now. Lots of members have lived and died without ever getting a patriarchal blessing. Sounds to me like you are doing just fine anyway. 
 

When I received my patriarchal blessing as an adult convert, I was advised by my Bishop to read and study it, much as one would do with scripture.  I found as time went by, I would notice details I hadn’t previously, I had a different take on certain things as time progressed, things I hadn’t previously understood became clearer, etc. 

[MustardSeed]

A single man my husband home taught was promised marriage in THIS life.  He died single, last year, at 76. 

Also my best friends husband was given a blessing while in a coma and promised- outright promised that he would survive and carry on for years to come.  

He was taken off life support that week.  My friend followed him in death, and sorrow, a year later.  Her faith was crushed. 

I will not allow that in my life- I believe in god and I believe in the limitations of all, ALL men.

Edited December 31, 2019 by MustardSeed

[MustardSeed]

12 hours ago, Robert F. Smith said:

My patriarch, the late Serge Lauper, told me that patriarchal blessings are conditional.  They are not fortune telling, he said.  Naturally, apostasy would short-circuit any blessing.

Since we all sin, unless we are perfect in our use of the atonement, a single sin makes us unworthy.  That’s a pretty safe caveat for the patriarch.

[JAHS]

1 hour ago, Raingirl said:

When I received my patriarchal blessing as an adult convert, I was advised by my Bishop to read and study it, much as one would do with scripture.  I found as time went by, I would notice details I hadn’t previously, I had a different take on certain things as time progressed, things I hadn’t previously understood became clearer, etc. 

OK, now I want to go find it and read it again. 🙂 

[Scott Lloyd]

16 hours ago, MiserereNobis said:

 If I understand correctly, a patriarchal blessing is given once in a person's life, is transcribed verbatim, and the person is supposed to study the blessing for their (yes Scott, I'm using a plural pronoun to refer to a singular antecedent ) entire life to learn God's will for them.

I would be inclined to let it pass without comment if you had not, in the same post, written the following:

Quote

Does anyone double-check that the patriarch is actually doing what they are supposed to be doing?

Here, we have an instance in which the singular they is utterly unnecessary, and it would have been a very simple matter to apply the conventional rule, as there is no gender ambiguity whatsoever. There are no female patriarchs in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

Edited December 31, 2019 by Scott Lloyd

[bluebell]

1 hour ago, Duncan said:

Thank you!!!! I just emailed him, i'l see what he says

Yay!

[LoudmouthMormon]

Two things:

1- I got my PB in 1996.  Every 5 years or so I take it out and read it, and I do indeed see where various items have come to pass.  I'm glad I got it, and I have made much effort to follow it.  I've let it guide decisions that have taken my life down different paths than I ever would have gone, and I've been blessed because of it.

2- Patriarch dude said something like "You can preach the gospel to those with which you associate, in your own way."  The transcribed record says "You can preach the gospel to those with which you associate."    Go figure.

[CV75]

21 minutes ago, LoudmouthMormon said:

Two things:

1- I got my PB in 1996.  Every 5 years or so I take it out and read it, and I do indeed see where various items have come to pass.  I'm glad I got it, and I have made much effort to follow it.  I've let it guide decisions that have taken my life down different paths than I ever would have gone, and I've been blessed because of it.

2- Patriarch dude said something like "You can preach the gospel to those with which you associate, in your own way."  The transcribed record says "You can preach the gospel to those with which you associate."    Go figure.

Who made the edit?

[Jeanne]

I had my blessing  just after I turned 17.  My fiance who was 3 years older went with me and had his done also.  In that blessing it said that if I lived worthy I would know the man I was to marry the instant that I saw him.  I did not marry my fiance and he married another while I was in college.  A year later, my best friend and cousin who had the same patriarch shared with me her blessing and I showed her mine.  (Note that we were and still are so connected as best childhood friends and relatives)  Those blessings we shared were like one and the same...almost verbatim.  It bothered me.

During this time, I made a closer friendship with another girl in our ward that I had known forever.  We were both baptized on the same day.  She talked to me before I had my blessing and scheduled one for herself.  A week before her blessing, she died.  Head on collusion in Tooele.  Her parents later went to the patriarch to see if he might know any of the reasons why she was taken so early.  I don't know what he said..but I have always wished that I did.

Edited December 31, 2019 by Jeanne

[Scott Lloyd]

4 hours ago, MustardSeed said:

A single man my husband home taught was promised marriage in THIS life.  He died single, last year, at 76. 

Also my best friends husband was given a blessing while in a coma and promised- outright promised that he would survive and carry on for years to come.  

He was taken off life support that week.  My friend followed him in death, and sorrow, a year later.  Her faith was crushed. 

I will not allow that in my life- I believe in god and I believe in the limitations of all, ALL men.

Regarding the first incident, anecdotes involving unknown persons have limited usefulness, because they are impossible either to verify or to falsify. Did the man in the story have reasonable opportunities to marry that he chose to reject? Did he exercise faith sufficient for the blessing to be fulfilled? We can’t know, because we are unacquainted with the man or his circumstances. 
 

The second story is not about patriarchal blessings but about a priesthood blessing of healing. Elder (now President) Dallin H. Oaks has provided some insight on the topic, pertinent to the matter you bring up,  in this talk:

https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2010/04/healing-the-sick?lang=eng

 

Quote

”Fortunately, the words spoken in a healing blessing are not essential to its healing effect. If faith is sufficient and if the Lord wills it, the afflicted person will be healed or blessed whether the officiator speaks those words or not. Conversely, if the officiator yields to personal desire or inexperience and gives commands or words of blessing in excess of what the Lord chooses to bestow according to the faith of the individual, those words will not be fulfilled. Consequently, brethren, no elder should ever hesitate to participate in a healing blessing because of fear that he will not know what to say. The words spoken in a healing blessing can edify and energize the faith of those who hear them, but the effect of the blessing is dependent upon faith and the Lord’s will, not upon the words spoken by the elder who officiated.”

 

Edited December 31, 2019 by Scott Lloyd