Infallibility of Patriarchal Blessings

[bluebell]

54 minutes ago, SeekingUnderstanding said:

For a less faithful view, patriarchal blessings frequently come up on exmormon reddit as one of the testimony shattering events in their lives. One recent example:

 

That is a very sad situation for that poor dad. 

And even though his blessing made room for those times when he would not be able to bring someone back (because God has appointed them unto death), I think it’s a good reminder of how hard it is when God’s will isn’t what we want to have happen. 

Those are the times that my faith has been tried the hardest. It can be a devastating feeling. 

[Vellichor]

On 1/2/2020 at 3:01 AM, Scott Lloyd said:

I was much further along in life than most people typically are before I gained the longed-for blessing of a marriage and children. It has been long ago now, but I still have a clear memory of resenting the suggestion that being single is a cake walk compared to the trials and challenges of married life. And, as a corollary, I never much liked it when anyone, married or single, stated or implied that single women in the Church are more deserving of sympathy than single men because the latter supposedly have control over their circumstances while the former do not. Everyone has his or her own difficulties and challenges to contend with, and blanket, categorical judgments are seldom, if ever, appropriate or helpful. 
 

All that being said, while I was single, I put great stock and faith in frequently expressed statements that no meaningful blessing from God will, in the long run, be withheld from a son or daughter of God who remains true and faithful. I never viewed those assurances as being nebulous and illusory. On the contrary, they, combined with certain assurances in my patriarchal blessing, were a lifeline to me, one that got me through a period of darkness and depression bordering on despair. 

Scott, I completely agree that single women are not more deserving of sympathy than single men. That belief has always bothered me. 

I guess I'm not sure why it's difficult for people to understand that many promises for the next life are nebulous. It's different when there's still the possibility that those promises will be fulfilled in this life. In your case, it sounds like promises were fulfilled in this life. You got married and had kids. Struggling with singleness and then getting married at age 30 is very different from getting married at age 40. And getting married at age 40 is very different from getting married at age 50. And on and on. 

When our patriarchal blessings state that we will go on missions with our spouse, and that blessing is left to the eternities, it's pretty clear we won't be serving in a mission office in the Philippines or guiding the addiction recovery program in Russia. When our blessing says our children will be community leaders, and we don't end up having children in mortality, we can be confident our eternal children won't end up serving as PTA president or city mayor. When our blessing talks about having a close and loving family, we probably won't be having happily chaotic Sunday dinners in the next life. Hubby and I won't be delighting in our baby taking his first steps, or exchanging smiles when daughter goes on her first date. I'm sure that whatever we experience there will be far more wonderful than anything we experience here. But those everyday moments matter, don't they? I don't know how to convey the difference between hoping for something concrete versus something I'm told is amazingly spectacular but that my mind can't begin to conceive of. I don't even know where to start.

[MustardSeed]

6 hours ago, Vellichor said:

Scott, I completely agree that single women are not more deserving of sympathy than single men. That belief has always bothered me. 

I guess I'm not sure why it's difficult for people to understand that many promises for the next life are nebulous. It's different when there's still the possibility that those promises will be fulfilled in this life. In your case, it sounds like promises were fulfilled in this life. You got married and had kids. Struggling with singleness and then getting married at age 30 is very different from getting married at age 40. And getting married at age 40 is very different from getting married at age 50. And on and on. 

When our patriarchal blessings state that we will go on missions with our spouse, and that blessing is left to the eternities, it's pretty clear we won't be serving in a mission office in the Philippines or guiding the addiction recovery program in Russia. When our blessing says our children will be community leaders, and we don't end up having children in mortality, we can be confident our eternal children won't end up serving as PTA president or city mayor. When our blessing talks about having a close and loving family, we probably won't be having happily chaotic Sunday dinners in the next life. Hubby and I won't be delighting in our baby taking his first steps, or exchanging smiles when daughter goes on her first date. I'm sure that whatever we experience there will be far more wonderful than anything we experience here. But those everyday moments matter, don't they? I don't know how to convey the difference between hoping for something concrete versus something I'm told is amazingly spectacular but that my mind can't begin to conceive of. I don't even know where to start.

Thank you for the reminder that our human experience matters, and that at times it’s hard to keep the faith. 

 

[Stargazer]

On 12/31/2019 at 5:24 AM, Scott Lloyd said:

The first paragraph can be answered with one of the links Calm provided, wherein it was explained that we all have multiple blood lines running through us and it is thus possible for a tribal lineage to be dominant in one family member different from that of other family members. It’s comparable to certain hereditary characteristics being dominant in one or more family members that are not dominant in others. 

I have twin sons -- fraternal twin boys.  Despite having the same parents, they don't look at all alike.  Their names are Daniel and David, for reference.  Daniel actually resembles my father, and even has his hair patterns, but not color.  David doesn't seem to resemble anyone else in the family, and he has two full brothers, and nine half-siblings.  He is rather unique.  I thought this odd, but just a matter of genetics.  Then after he was over 20 years old, I came into possession of a photograph of my mother's father at about the same age, who died before I was born. No previous photos had been preserved of him because of family issues I needn't go into.  But David resembles him rather strongly!  So we finally know who he takes after, and that he was not adopted or switched at birth!  

I can easily see how it could happen that patriarchal lineage could vary within the same family, and for the same reasons why these two boys look nothing like each other.

On 12/31/2019 at 5:24 AM, Scott Lloyd said:

The third paragraph of your post is answered by what Hamba said, that a patriarch can later edit and add to a blessing as he is inspired to do so. 

Great! Something that I hadn't known before.

[Scott Lloyd]

18 hours ago, Vellichor said:

Scott, I completely agree that single women are not more deserving of sympathy than single men. That belief has always bothered me. 

I guess I'm not sure why it's difficult for people to understand that many promises for the next life are nebulous. It's different when there's still the possibility that those promises will be fulfilled in this life. In your case, it sounds like promises were fulfilled in this life. You got married and had kids. Struggling with singleness and then getting married at age 30 is very different from getting married at age 40. And getting married at age 40 is very different from getting married at age 50. And on and on. 

When our patriarchal blessings state that we will go on missions with our spouse, and that blessing is left to the eternities, it's pretty clear we won't be serving in a mission office in the Philippines or guiding the addiction recovery program in Russia. When our blessing says our children will be community leaders, and we don't end up having children in mortality, we can be confident our eternal children won't end up serving as PTA president or city mayor. When our blessing talks about having a close and loving family, we probably won't be having happily chaotic Sunday dinners in the next life. Hubby and I won't be delighting in our baby taking his first steps, or exchanging smiles when daughter goes on her first date. I'm sure that whatever we experience there will be far more wonderful than anything we experience here. But those everyday moments matter, don't they? I don't know how to convey the difference between hoping for something concrete versus something I'm told is amazingly spectacular but that my mind can't begin to conceive of. I don't even know where to start.

Vellichor, thank you for your thoughtful post. I get your frustration. 
 

I guess I responded as I did to the term “nebulous” because it was coupled with another term, “illusory.” I don’t regard them as synonyms. 
 

 To say that something is illusory (which means “based on illusion; not real”) is to deny its existence as fact, to declare it untrue. I can’t go along with that as applied to promises that God will be fair, just and generous in the blessings He bestows on those who remain true and faithful to Him. 
 

The address given at the most recent general conference by President Dallin H. Oaks on trusting in the Lord I found to be very wise, reassuring and thought
provoking.

https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2019/10/17oaks?lang=eng

Edited January 5, 2020 by Scott Lloyd