Update on McKenna Denson Lawsuit (Hearing Schedule)

[Tacenda]

10 hours ago, smac97 said:

I'm sorry to hear about this.

I and my wife have long had a very clear understanding about her never leaving me alone with small children in our home, including nieces/nephews.  I have the same rule in place for our sons (they are never left alone with smaller children).

I also make sure all doors in the house are always left open when kids are visiting.

I also never change diapers or help little ones go to the bathroom.

I pretty much never pick up or carry visiting children, or have them sit on my lap or anything like that.  High fives, fist bumps, and a very rare side hug is about it.  If a little one wants a hug or to be picked up or whatever, I have my wife or older daughter do it.

I never transport a child or youth anywhere alone.  I either have my wife do it, or I bring one of my older children with me.

I never babysit, and I don't let my sons babysit.

My wife trusts me, and I trust myself.  However, I hope that relatives and friends and neighbors may feel a bit more at ease when they know two adults (one of which is always a woman) is present when their kids are visiting our home.  Plus I want to reduce the risk of misunderstandings and/or false accusations.  

Thanks,

-Smac

Sad it has come to this Smac. I can see how you would want to take these precautions. Especially being a male with all that is going on in the world, and I'm sure you're even careful with adult women in general with the MeToo movement. I see both sides of course. but I'm glad more of us are being careful with what we say and do. I, like you, worry, even as a female. When I sub, there are lots of students, mainly girls that want to give me hugs. What do I do, tell them not to touch me? But in the back of my mind, I do worry about touch and how to appropriately give a hug back. 

[Hamba Tuhan]

4 hours ago, Tacenda said:

When I sub, there are lots of students, mainly girls that want to give me hugs. What do I do, tell them not to touch me? But in the back of my mind, I do worry about touch and how to appropriately give a hug back. 

Soon our children will be like those in the old Soviet orphanages. 

[Jeanne]

21 hours ago, smac97 said:

I'm sorry to hear about this.

I and my wife have long had a very clear understanding about her never leaving me alone with small children in our home, including nieces/nephews.  I have the same rule in place for our sons (they are never left alone with smaller children).

I also make sure all doors in the house are always left open when kids are visiting.

I also never change diapers or help little ones go to the bathroom.

I pretty much never pick up or carry visiting children, or have them sit on my lap or anything like that.  High fives, fist bumps, and a very rare side hug is about it.  If a little one wants a hug or to be picked up or whatever, I have my wife or older daughter do it.

I never transport a child or youth anywhere alone.  I either have my wife do it, or I bring one of my older children with me.

I never babysit, and I don't let my sons babysit.

My wife trusts me, and I trust myself.  However, I hope that relatives and friends and neighbors may feel a bit more at ease when they know two adults (one of which is always a woman) is present whis den their kids are visiting our home.  Plus I want to reduce the risk of misunderstandings and/or false accusations.  

Thanks,

-Smac

Those are such good rules for this day and age.  When I think of all the sleep overs and things I and my own children attended as children, I think what a loss it is to lose faith in fellow human beings, neighbors, relatives and friends.  But too many of have learned the hard way about others and your rules are wise.

[bluebell]

On 7/20/2018 at 11:01 AM, smac97 said:

I'm sorry to hear about this.

I and my wife have long had a very clear understanding about her never leaving me alone with small children in our home, including nieces/nephews.  I have the same rule in place for our sons (they are never left alone with smaller children).

I also make sure all doors in the house are always left open when kids are visiting.

I also never change diapers or help little ones go to the bathroom.

I pretty much never pick up or carry visiting children, or have them sit on my lap or anything like that.  High fives, fist bumps, and a very rare side hug is about it.  If a little one wants a hug or to be picked up or whatever, I have my wife or older daughter do it.

I never transport a child or youth anywhere alone.  I either have my wife do it, or I bring one of my older children with me.

I never babysit, and I don't let my sons babysit.

My wife trusts me, and I trust myself.  However, I hope that relatives and friends and neighbors may feel a bit more at ease when they know two adults (one of which is always a woman) is present when their kids are visiting our home.  Plus I want to reduce the risk of misunderstandings and/or false accusations.  

Thanks,

-Smac

Do you allow your daughters to babysit?

[jkwilliams]

16 minutes ago, bluebell said:

Do you allow your daughters to babysit?

I was thinking the same thing: why is it just males who have to take these extreme precautions? 

[bluebell]

55 minutes ago, jkwilliams said:

I was thinking the same thing: why is it just males who have to take these extreme precautions? 

I totally get the idea of decreasing risk, especially for our kids.  But I also don't want to perpetuate the idea that men in general are a threat to children.  I don't want my own boys to think that and I don't want other people to think that either.  I think there is such thing as looking beyond the mark, even when it comes to mitigating risk.  Some level of risk is necessary for growth, development, and maturity.

Some of the best babysitters we've had have been boys, and my boys have occasionally been asked to babysit and it's been a good experience for them.  Boys need the chance to interact with children just like girls do. That's how youth practice for the time when they will be parents.

Besides that, if everyone did this, it would put an unfair burden onto women and girls.

(To clarify, I have no doubt that Smac is an amazing parent and he and his wife know what is best for their kids.  I'm speaking in general terms and not about him or his parenting choices specifically).

[Vanguard]

2 hours ago, bluebell said:

I totally get the idea of decreasing risk, especially for our kids.  But I also don't want to perpetuate the idea that men in general are a threat to children.  I don't want my own boys to think that and I don't want other people to think that either.  I think there is such thing as looking beyond the mark, even when it comes to mitigating risk.  Some level of risk is necessary for growth, development, and maturity.

Some of the best babysitters we've had have been boys, and my boys have occasionally been asked to babysit and it's been a good experience for them.  Boys need the chance to interact with children just like girls do. That's how youth practice for the time when they will be parents.

Besides that, if everyone did this, it would put an unfair burden onto women and girls.

(To clarify, I have no doubt that Smac is an amazing parent and he and his wife know what is best for their kids.  I'm speaking in general terms and not about him or his parenting choices specifically).

But unwarranted accusations (and I suspect there are many) almost without exception favor the accuser. Putting my son through this eventuality would unnecessarily laden him with additional distress - distress that this 17 yro does not need right now.

[Calm]

1 minute ago, Vanguard said:

But unwarranted accusations (and I suspect there are many) almost without exception favor the accuser. Putting my son through this eventuality would unnecessarily laden him with additional distress - distress that this 17 yro does not need right now.

Wouldn't your daughters feel the same way if accused?

It was the teenage girl babysitting my toddler relative who hit him when he cried (and which resulted in complete removal from his parents in the hospital for his safety until this was determined, though that added to his trauma; I get that they don't have enough personnel who can keep watch that no harm is done).

Since girls can be abusers just like boys; if boys are more likely to do so (this I am not sure of, thus the "if), that still does not remove the risk from false accusations for girls.

Edited July 21, 2018 by Calm

[Calm]

Quote

unwarranted accusations (and I suspect there are many) 

I have only looked up sexual abuse (includes adult victims) and this runs at 2-8%.  I do not know it this includes custody issues though.

added:  

Quote

It is estimated that only 4 to 8% of child sexual abuse reports are fabricated. Most of the fabricated reports are made by adults involved in custody disputes or by adolescents.26 

https://www.d2l.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/Statistics_6_Reporting.pdf

I think I misunderstood...I was thinking you meant intentional false, but "unwarranted" may simply be misunderstood or overreaction.  For example, spanking your child...some might report that even where legal.  (Is it illegal anywhere?)  Or a teen may have bruises and that gets reported as abuse when it is sports. (I got tons of bruises in both gymnastics and fencing, my young son had a weird set of bruises up and down his spine...we were afraid it might be a blood disorder...it was his hot wheels going down a bumpy hill over and over again).

Given that there are only 55% of cases investigated by CPS, it would seem there are likely many unwarranted accusations made, but I am not sure about favouring the accuser.

For example, the sexual assault study of intentional false accusations I posted awhile back said in most cases of false accusations, the accused didn't even find out they were accused (most false accusations of that type are younger women and girls claiming rape because of parental pressure, once reported that pressure drops and the young women just don't come back to pursue the case; the other most common type is someone with a history of false accusations with inconsistent stories).

Percentages of arrests and convictions for child abuse in general aren't that high, so again not sure about how much favoring the accuser there is.

Edited July 21, 2018 by Calm

[Calm]

This reports has over 4 million referrals being made to CPSs in 2015, 2.2 million being screened in and only 1/5 of those being found as valid.

So I am not sure how that justifies the claim the accuser if favored, but perhaps I am misunderstanding what you are saying, Vanguard.

https://www.childwelfare.gov/pubPDFs/canstats.pdf

Quote

Approximately one-fifth (18.0 percent) of the children investigated were found to be victims of abuse
or neglect—a rate of 9.2 per 1,000 children in the population. The remainder of the children investigated (82.0 percent) were found to be nonvictims of maltreatment. The following are the dispositions of the investigations (duplicate count): 17.3 percent substantiated, 0.7 percent indicated, 55.9 percent unsubstantiated, 10.5 percent no alleged maltreatment, 13.2 percent alternative-response nonvictim, 1.6 percent closed with no finding, 0.6 percent “other,” and 0.1 percent unknown 

And who are the accusers/reporters:

Quote

For FFY 2015, more than three-fifths (63.4 percent) of all reports of alleged child abuse or neglect were made by professionals. The term “professional” means that the person who was the source of the report had contact with the alleged child maltreatment victim as part of their job. The most common professional report sources were education personnel (18.4 percent), legal and law enforcement personnel (18.2 percent), social services staff (10.9 percent), and medical personnel (9.1 percent). Professionals have submitted more than one-half of all reports for the past 5 years.

The remaining reports were made by nonprofessionals (18.2 percent), such as friends, neighbors, and relatives, or by unclassified reporters (18.3 percent), a category that includes anonymous and unknown reporters. 

There are more women child abusers than men when one includes all forms, including neglect:

Quote

In FFY 2015, 51 States reported a total of 522,476 perpetrators of child maltreatment (each perpetrator counted once, regardless of the number of children or reports involved). The following data describe those perpetrators:

 More than four-fifths (83.4 percent) of all perpetrators were between the ages of 18 and 44 years.

 More than one-half (54.1 percent) of perpetrators were women, 45.0 percent of perpetrators were men, and 0.9 percent were of unknown sex. 

 

Edited July 21, 2018 by Calm

[smac97]

4 hours ago, bluebell said:

Do you allow your daughters to babysit?

Yes.

[smac97]

7 hours ago, bluebell said:

I totally get the idea of decreasing risk, especially for our kids.  But I also don't want to perpetuate the idea that men in general are a threat to children.  

I understand.  I've been clear with my wife and my sons about the purpose of these precautions.  I trust them, but I don't want to put them into a situation where there might be a misunderstanding or false accusation.

Quote

I don't want my own boys to think that and I don't want other people to think that either.  

Same here.  And yet the perception is there, and that perception carries real-world risks for people like me.  Just last fall I participated in a discussion on this board in which another participant noted:

Quote

I've dealt with sexual harassment in public since i was 11.  Eleven.  Always by high schoolers or grown men.  In school, it was a constant since the 5th grade when I, like most of the other girls, started wearing a bra.  That seems to be the delineation mark.  It was an every day occurrence happening in halls and classrooms, and something that happened so frequently and to so many of us girls that after awhile it stops even registering.  It just is what it is and you deal with it or you don't leave your home. 

And most men don't understand why it's terrifying because most men don't understand what it feels like to be vulnerable to half of the population.  All things being equal (meaning neither person is armed), there is a basic difference between when a woman says something sexual to a man in passing and when a man says something sexual to a woman in passing that men don't often realize.  The difference is that if the man decides he wants to actually do those things he's saying to the girl or woman, he can.

He has the strength and ability to attack and harm, and to take whatever he wants, and the woman won't be able to do much to stop him.  In many instances, the only thing that protects us women are the good graces of the men we come in contact with, and that is terrifying and infuriating because not only can't we tell by looking at you guys which ones are dangerous and which ones aren't, but it also means that we exist and are safe only with male permission.  

That's why us women want men to stop, not just the assaults but the words, the gestures, the tone, the uncomfortable staring and pointing, the lewd whispers and touching.  It all causes significant harm, even without actually being assaulted.

I responded:

Quote

As a husband to a wonderful woman and a father to two wonderful daughters, I am appalled that this sort of thing happens.

That said, I am bewildered at the sentiment here.  Because I am male I have more muscle mass than most women.  Because I have more muscle mass than most women, I have "the strength and ability to attack and harm, and to take whatever {I} want, and the woman won't be able to do much to stop {me}."  And because I have this strength, I "{can} actually do those things."  And because I "{can} actually do those things," ("to attack and harm {women}"), I - based on nothing more than existing and breathing, am "terrifying" to some women.  What conclusion am I supposed to draw, except that some women are "terrified" of me because they think of me - and all men - as potential/inchoate rapists?

And the response to my inquiry was:

Quote

Quote

What conclusion am I supposed to draw, except that some women are "terrified" of me because they think of me - and all men - as potential/inchoate rapists?

That's probably a good conclusion to draw.  No one is saying that it's fair.  It's not fair what women have to go through either.  Hopefully our society can change so that women can stop being afraid whenever they are vulnerable in the presence of a guy and good men can stop being feared.

"That's probably a good conclusion to draw."  "No one is saying that it's fair."  "Hopefully our society can change so that ... good men can stop being feared."  

Those words had a real effect on me.  Sobering.  I think I am a good person.  But for now, I and my sons are "feared" by some to be potential rapists (and/or child molesters).  Not because we have said or done anything untoward, but simply because we exist.

That entire thread was one of the most troubling things I have ever read on this board.  For various reasons.  But anyway, lesson learned.  Some women think of me - and all men (including my sons) - as as potential rapists.  That realization is "a good conclusion to draw."

I had previously been a bit more easygoing in my interactions with children and women, as well as guidelines for my sons.  But if it is "a good conclusion to draw" that some women are terrified or me and my sons are, simply by virtue of our being male, "potential/inchoate rapists," well, I took that to heart.  And the risks arising therefrom.  So what had previously been generalized common-sense guidelines for myself and my sons became the hardened and specific and strongly enforced rules I listed previously.

It's pretty sad, actually.  I love children, but I literally feel uneasy typing that for fear of being seen as saying something creepy (I am a man, after all).  I admire and respect women, but I tightly regulate my interactions with women.  I am friendly and polite, but that's about it.  I generally keep interactions with women brief and cordial and remote unless I'm in a group setting or with my wife.  

If our society has deemed it acceptable and reasonable for some women to categorically assume that all men are potential/inchoate rapists, that's just scary.  I feel obligated to protect myself and my sons.

Quote

I think there is such thing as looking beyond the mark, even when it comes to mitigating risk.  Some level of risk is necessary for growth, development, and maturity.

I agree.  I leave my older children to supervise the younger ones all the time.  We have cousins and friends over frequently.  I let my daughters babysit when I know the parents well.  It's all a matter of "acceptable risk."  That's a subjective thing.

Quote

Some of the best babysitters we've had have been boys, and my boys have occasionally been asked to babysit and it's been a good experience for them.  Boys need the chance to interact with children just like girls do. That's how youth practice for the time when they will be parents.

I appreciate that.  That's part of why we had a large family.

Quote

Besides that, if everyone did this, it would put an unfair burden onto women and girls.

My daughters want to babysit.  My sons don't, and nobody has ever asked them to.

As for finding babysitters being a burden, and narrowing the pool to girls only, that's quite a secondary concern for me.  

Quote

(To clarify, I have no doubt that Smac is an amazing parent and he and his wife know what is best for their kids.  I'm speaking in general terms and not about him or his parenting choices specifically).

No worries.  We each have to take such steps as we deem appropriate.  My precautions are based on generalized sentiments about men these days.  I'm not only concerned about impropriety, but but about false accusations and misunderstandings about impropriety, and about the appearance or potential appearance of impropriety.  Simply put, I think a middle-aged man (myself) or a young man (my oldest son) or a teenage boy (my next two sons) face a low but still appreciable risk of these things.  The consequences of such accusations or appearance of impropriety are profound.  Lives are ruined by the accusation alone.  I eliminate or substantially reduce that risk for myself and my sons by eliminating or reducing circumstances that could lead to the actualization of those risks.

I have a friend from law school, a father in a large family.  He has categorically refused to buy a trampoline for his kids because he is concerned about the risk of liability should any neighbor children be injured using it.  The actual risk of a lawsuit is probably quite low, but he felt strongly enough about it that he has rebuffed requests from his kids.  I thought his concern was overwrought, but I certainly won't second guess him.

Bishops are, pursuant to the policies of the Church, to be chaperoned when meeting with children / youth / women in their offices.  This reduces not only the risk of impropriety, but the risk of the appearance of impropriety.

And so it goes.  I really love children, but I never express it through anything more than kind words and high fives or fist bumps.  And I am never alone with them, nor do I let my sons do that.  I trust myself and my sons.  Society, it seems, does not.

Thanks,

-Smac

Edited July 22, 2018 by smac97

[Unaffiliated]

Nowadays all I hear about on the news are female teachers caught with underage males.

[Kenngo1969]

2 hours ago, smac97 said:

... I trust myself and my sons.  Society, it seems, does not.

Thanks,

-Smac

Ay, there's the rub, especially in today's #Metoo environment.  (I'm not saying that many/most/the vast majority of accusations arising out of #Metoo are not well-founded, but I would be hard-pressed to say that all such accusations are well-founded.) 

[Scott Lloyd]

30 minutes ago, Kenngo1969 said:

Ay, there's the rub, especially in today's #Metoo environment.  (I'm not saying that many/most/the vast majority of accusations arising out of #Metoo are not well-founded, but I would be hard-pressed to say that all such accusations are well-founded.) 

And in this, probably more than any other circumstance, the accusation alone, proven or not, stands to destroy reputations and lives. Smac97 is absolutely right. In this day and age it is foolhardy for a male to put himself at such risk. 

[juliann]

3 hours ago, smac97 said:

 

That entire thread was one of the most troubling things I have ever read on this board.  For various reasons.  But anyway, lesson learned.  Some women think of me - and all men (including my sons) - as as potential rapists.  That realization is "a good conclusion to draw."

 

That is what we have been taught all our lives because it is the first response to protecting yourself to assault. You are to walk with keys in hand, be aware of who is around you, etc. etc. The message that women can cause it by wearing something "wrong" is also very problematic and merely makes us more afraid of men because we don't know which ones will react or what is supposed to be a trigger to them.  I live in a relatively safe area so these are not concerns in daytime but at night....big time. 

[ksfisher]

1 hour ago, Unaffiliated said:

Nowadays all I hear about on the news are female teachers caught with underage males.

It sells more papers.

[Unaffiliated]

12 minutes ago, juliann said:

That is what we have been taught all our lives because it is the first response to protecting yourself to assault. You are to walk with keys in hand, be aware of who is around you, etc. etc. The message that women can cause it by wearing something "wrong" is also very problematic and merely makes us more afraid of men because we don't know which ones will react or what is supposed to be a trigger to them.  I live in a relatively safe area so these are not concerns in daytime but at night....big time. 

Do you have any sons? If so how do you view them?

[strappinglad]

29 minutes ago, Scott Lloyd said:

And in this, probably more than any other circumstance, the accusation alone, proven or not, stands to destroy reputations and lives. Smac97 is absolutely right. In this day and age it is foolhardy for a male to put himself at such risk. 

Western society will pay a price for this. Fewer men will marry, fewer still will have children. More men will avoid women in professional circumstances. Make no mistake, there are cultures in the world which carry no qualms about insensitivity towards females.

[Unaffiliated]

4 minutes ago, strappinglad said:

Western society will pay a price for this. Fewer men will marry, fewer still will have children. More men will avoid women in professional circumstances. Make no mistake, there are cultures in the world which carry no qualms about insensitivity towards females.

And Male bosses will hire less women in the workforce.

[USU78]

3 hours ago, smac97 said:

I understand.  I've been clear with my wife and my sons about the purpose of these precautions.  I trust them, but I don't want to put them into a situation where there might be a misunderstanding or false accusation.

Same here.  And yet the perception is there, and that perception carries real-world risks for people like me.  Just last fall I participated in a discussion on this board in which another participant noted:

I responded:

And the response to my inquiry was:

"That's probably a good conclusion to draw."  "No one is saying that it's fair."  "Hopefully our society can change so that ... good men can stop being feared."  

Those words had a real effect on me.  Sobering.  I think I am a good person.  But for now, I and my sons are "feared" by some to be potential rapists (and/or child molesters).  Not because we have said or done anything untoward, but simply because we exist.

That entire thread was one of the most troubling things I have ever read on this board.  For various reasons.  But anyway, lesson learned.  Some women think of me - and all men (including my sons) - as as potential rapists.  That realization is "a good conclusion to draw."

I had previously been a bit more easygoing in my interactions with children and women, as well as guidelines for my sons.  But if it is "a good conclusion to draw" that some women are terrified or me and my sons are, simply by virtue of our being male, "potential/inchoate rapists," well, I took that to heart.  And the risks arising therefrom.  So what had previously been generalized common-sense guidelines for myself and my sons became the hardened and specific and strongly enforced rules I listed previously.

It's pretty sad, actually.  I love children, but I literally feel uneasy typing that for fear of being seen as saying something creepy (I am a man, after all).  I admire and respect women, but I tightly regulate my interactions with women.  I am friendly and polite, but that's about it.  I generally keep interactions with women brief and cordial and remote unless I'm in a group setting or with my wife.  

If our society has deemed it acceptable and reasonable for some women to categorically assume that all men are potential/inchoate rapists, that's just scary.  I feel obligated to protect myself and my sons.

I agree.  I leave my older children to supervise the younger ones all the time.  We have cousins and friends over frequently.  I let my daughters babysit when I know the parents well.  It's all a matter of "acceptable risk."  That's a subjective thing.

I appreciate that.  That's part of why we had a large family.

My daughters want to babysit.  My sons don't, and nobody has ever asked them to.

As for finding babysitters being a burden, and narrowing the pool to girls only, that's quite a secondary concern for me.  

No worries.  We each have to take such steps as we deem appropriate.  My precautions are based on generalized sentiments about men these days.  I'm not only concerned about impropriety, but but about false accusations and misunderstandings about impropriety, and about the appearance or potential appearance of impropriety.  Simply put, I think a middle-aged man (myself) or a young man (my oldest son) or a teenage boy (my next two sons) face a low but still appreciable risk of these things.  The consequences of such accusations or appearance of impropriety are profound.  Lives are ruined by the accusation alone.  I eliminate or substantially reduce that risk for myself and my sons by eliminating or reducing circumstances that could lead to the actualization of those risks.

I have a friend from law school, a father in a large family.  He has categorically refused to buy a trampoline for his kids because he is concerned about the risk of liability should any neighbor children be injured using it.  The actual risk of a lawsuit is probably quite low, but he felt strongly enough about it that he has rebuffed requests from his kids.  I thought his concern was overwrought, but I certainly won't second guess him.

Bishops are, pursuant to the policies of the Church, to be chaperoned when meeting with children / youth / women in their offices.  This reduces not only the risk of impropriety, but the risk of the appearance of impropriety.

And so it goes.  I really love children, but I never express it through anything more than kind words and high fives or fist bumps.  And I am never alone with them, nor do I let my sons do that.  I trust myself and my sons.  Society, it seems, does not.

Thanks,

-Smac

Doesn't this anger you? That public policy is such that we must suppress the best part of ourselves because of others' irrationality, malice, and histrionics?

[USU78]

44 minutes ago, juliann said:

That is what we have been taught all our lives because it is the first response to protecting yourself to assault. You are to walk with keys in hand, be aware of who is around you, etc. etc. The message that women can cause it by wearing something "wrong" is also very problematic and merely makes us more afraid of men because we don't know which ones will react or what is supposed to be a trigger to them.  I live in a relatively safe area so these are not concerns in daytime but at night....big time. 

Astonishment

[Scott Lloyd]

20 minutes ago, strappinglad said:

Western society will pay a price for this. Fewer men will marry, fewer still will have children. More men will avoid women in professional circumstances. Make no mistake, there are cultures in the world which carry no qualms about insensitivity towards females.

And males will be savagely criticized for taking such precautions. It was not too long ago that Vice President Pence was ridiculed for his practice, based on his religious faith, of avoiding being alone in a work environment with an individual of the opposite sex. The point of some of the criticism was the belief, warranted or not, that such a practice places women at a disadvantage in terms of networking and potential for career advancement. 

Edited July 22, 2018 by Scott Lloyd

[Calm]

1 hour ago, USU78 said:

Doesn't this anger you? That public policy is such that we must suppress the best part of ourselves because of others' irrationality, malice, and histrionics?

You mean like women have had to suppress themselves for eons in case of offending men?

Don't show you are smarter, more capable, more creative, more assertive, etc. etc. than men because if you do, they will push you out.

Edited July 22, 2018 by Calm

[Michael Sudworth]

10 hours ago, jkwilliams said:

I was thinking the same thing: why is it just males who have to take these extreme precautions? 

Seems pretty reasonable to me.

The rule in our family has long-been no male babysitters. Of any age.

While young men -- generally speaking -- are not very likely to be innapropriate, a young man babysitter is many many times more likely to do so than a young woman.  Boys/men are innapropriate at much higher rates than are girls/young women.

My sons will never babysit.  And I will never babysit anyone other than my own children unless my wife is with me.  If the #MeToo movement showed us anything, it is that men should avoid being alone with any female other than a daughter or wife.  Men have far too much to lose from false accusations to take the chance.  Also, if men are never alone with women, they are less likely to treat women inappropriately.