What calls come from high council?

[Amulek]

22 minutes ago, bluebell said:

If I was called to nursery leader I would struggle not to go inactive. 

A few years back I was serving in the EQ Presidency. When we were finally released, the other two members of the presidency were both called to serve in the nursery.

I got stuck as the financial clerk.

I spent the rest of the year reflecting on what I must have done wrong.

 

[bluebell]

5 minutes ago, Amulek said:

A few years back I was serving in the EQ Presidency. When we were finally released, the other two members of the presidency were both called to serve in the nursery.

I got stuck as the financial clerk.

I spent the rest of the year reflecting on what I must have done wrong.

 

I would be counting my lucky stars!   

[JAHS]

1 hour ago, bluebell said:

If I was called to nursery leader I would struggle not to go inactive. 

Young mothers with toddlers should never be called to be in the nursery. 
They need a break from it and need to associate with adults.

[bluebell]

18 hours ago, JAHS said:

Young mothers with toddlers should never be called to be in the nursery. 
They need a break from it and need to associate with adults.

I agree.  It seems so obvious.  But it's a little crazy how often bishops call them to that position.

[Maestrophil]

20 hours ago, bluebell said:

If I was called to nursery leader I would struggle not to go inactive. 

The only part that was hard for me I that my wife and I were int here for such a long time, we really felt like inactive, no one knew us and we didn't know anyone - aside from the parents who had nursery kids

[rongo]

4 minutes ago, Maestrophil said:

The only part that was hard for me is that my wife and I were in there for such a long time, we really felt like inactive, no one knew us and we didn't know anyone - aside from the parents who had nursery kids

The Church has changed this to forbid the practice, but we used to have the youth fully take primary (including nursery) on 5th Sundays. It was heavily organized, with prepared lessons and divided labor. We had 60-70 youth, so the hard part was what to do with the surplus youth. We would have ca. 4 youth per class, much more than that in nursery, and then a whole lot in sharing time (with strategically-selected youth doing the singing time, the lesson, and the activity). We prepared about a month in advance, and it worked out really well, but the Church is risk-averse with youth supervising, apparently. I'm glad we were able to do it every 5th Sunday, though --- the "Primary prisoners" seemed to enjoy the break a few times a year. 

[Rain]

20 hours ago, bluebell said:

No. Not my idea of fun.

Especially not during the time of life where the (then) two hours after sacrament were the only two hours the entire week I was not taking care of toddlers and could interact with other adults.

I totally get it.  I was called to nursery when my youngest was 5.  At that point I wasn't going to have him in kindergarten yet because he struggled so much on expressive speech and I wanted that to be the focus.  

When the counselor called me he could see I wasn't jumping for it.  I was thinking over it and ready to tell him I needed to pray about it.  That's when he said something about Jesus and the little children and how important it was.

I wanted to lash out and say "I get that.  I've been a stay-at-home mom for the last 12 years with a husband traveling a lot for business. In the last year my husband has spent 9 months in a row with 2 weeks away from home and a weekend home."

If I hadn't been so angry at feeling manipulated I would have shared my circumstances then and there.  Instead I cried and prayed over it for nearly a month.  Accepting it in the end, only to have the bishop tell me after the sacrament where I was supposed to be sustained that they felt the call wasn't right.

[bluebell]

35 minutes ago, Rain said:

I totally get it.  I was called to nursery when my youngest was 5.  At that point I wasn't going to have him in kindergarten yet because he struggled so much on expressive speech and I wanted that to be the focus.  

When the counselor called me he could see I wasn't jumping for it.  I was thinking over it and ready to tell him I needed to pray about it.  That's when he said something about Jesus and the little children and how important it was.

I wanted to lash out and say "I get that.  I've been a stay-at-home mom for the last 12 years with a husband traveling a lot for business. In the last year my husband has spent 9 months in a row with 2 weeks away from home and a weekend home."

If I hadn't been so angry at feeling manipulated I would have shared my circumstances then and there.  Instead I cried and prayed over it for nearly a month.  Accepting it in the end, only to have the bishop tell me after the sacrament where I was supposed to be sustained that they felt the call wasn't right.

I had the same thing happen to me when a bishop extended a call to nursery when my oldest was still in nursery (happily, without any hint of trouble adjusting to being in there without me).

I cried and then reluctantly said I would accept it after explaining my feelings and having him show no sign that the calling needed to be rethought.  When I got home from church I told my mom, who was a member of the same ward and the primary president at the time.  She was not happy because she had told the bishop previously she didn't feel good about calling any young mothers to those positions.

A few days later I got a call saying that they had made a mistake in asking me to be nursery leader and they called me to something in RS instead.

To be clear, I love this bishop still.  He is and was a good man and a REALLY good bishop.  He wasn't trying to be uncompassionate.  He just didn't know what he didn't know about the emotional and mental toll of being a stay at home mom to two little kids.  It was a blind spot for him.  But because he was such a good bishop, he fixed it, once he did understand.

Edited May 19, 2021 by bluebell

[rongo]

34 minutes ago, Rain said:

I totally get it.  I was called to nursery when my youngest was 5.  At that point I wasn't going to have him in kindergarten yet because he struggled so much on expressive speech and I wanted that to be the focus.  

When the counselor called me he could see I wasn't jumping for it.  I was thinking over it and ready to tell him I needed to pray about it.  That's when he said something about Jesus and the little children and how important it was.

I wanted to lash out and say "I get that.  I've been a stay-at-home mom for the last 12 years with a husband traveling a lot for business. In the last year my husband has spent 9 months in a row with 2 weeks away from home and a weekend home."

If I hadn't been so angry at feeling manipulated I would have shared my circumstances then and there.  Instead I cried and prayed over it for nearly a month.  Accepting it in the end, only to have the bishop tell me after the sacrament where I was supposed to be sustained that they felt the call wasn't right.

I've never cared for the "act as though the calling is being extended by Jesus Himself" approach. We always (where possible) extended it with both spouses present, and before formally extending the calling, we told them that we would like to extend this calling to them. Are there any questions or concerns? Where there were concerns (or obvious upset about it), we talked about it. People have it drummed into them that you don't reject callings, but we made it clear that it was okay for us to "pull out of the dive" if we needed to. Above all, we didn't want anyone to leave the office with it being a bad experience for them (either because of guilt, or accepting a calling with reservations, etc.). We emphasized that we discuss them for a reason, and there's nothing wrong with discussing relevant information (we may not be aware of) and altering things if needed. We **really** wanted their input and feelings, and we really took that into account. 

A member of the Seventy told me that he never had anyone turn down a calling he issued --- not once in his life ---, but he laid it on really thick that rejecting the calling is no different from rejecting it from Jesus Himself. I really don't see it that way, and my reality was actually not that different in terms of acceptance rate (not 100%, but most callings were cheerfully accepted). 

Now, turning down speaking invitations? If someone had really bad anxiety, I would diffuse the situation and make a goal to take a rain check. Almost all in this boat were willing to make a goal and work towards it, and most did end up speaking (with the momentary anxiety bomb diffused, but knowing that we would ask again at a later time, so try to build up towards it). It's amazing how many adults tell you they haven't given a talk for decades. 

ETA:  I did have a prospective RS president literally fall out of the chair when extended (she collapsed from shock, like a bomb went off). I had had a very strong series of impressions (stronger than that, but it's hard to explain) that we had talked about for about a month before going with it. She was really young (25-ish), pretty liberal (which was really not my default setting), and had just returned from a couple of years of inactivity, but it was unmistakable. After her complete shock, she did a fantastic job. I would totally have understood her wanting time to think and pray about it, but she did accept it at that time.

Edited May 19, 2021 by rongo

[2BizE]

Usually stake callings. The SP could have assigned a HC member to meet with you/wife.

[JAHS]

1 hour ago, bluebell said:

I had the same thing happen to me when a bishop extended a call to nursery when my oldest was still in nursery (happily, without any hint of trouble adjusting to being in there without me).

I cried and then reluctantly said I would accept it after explaining my feelings and having him show no sign that the calling needed to be rethought.  When I got home from church I told my mom, who was a member of the same ward and the primary president at the time.  She was not happy because she had told the bishop previously she didn't feel good about calling any young mothers to those positions.

A few days later I got a call saying that they had made a mistake in asking me to be nursery leader and they called me to something in RS instead.

To be clear, I love this bishop still.  He is and was a good man and a REALLY good bishop.  He wasn't trying to be uncompassionate.  He just didn't know what he didn't know about the emotional and mental toll of being a stay at home mom to two little kids.  It was a blind spot for him.  But because he was such a good bishop, he fixed it, once he did understand.

I think one problem also is that it is sometimes hard to find an older member without kids who is willing to do the calling.

[Amulek]

2 hours ago, rongo said:

The Church has changed this to forbid the practice, but we used to have the youth fully take primary (including nursery) on 5th Sundays.

Do you happen to recall where this is documented? Our ward still has the youth teach primary on 5th Sundays, and I would be interested in knowing where I could find something that specifically speaks to stopping that practice.

 

[rongo]

5 minutes ago, Amulek said:

Do you happen to recall where this is documented? Our ward still has the youth teach primary on 5th Sundays, and I would be interested in knowing where I could find something that specifically speaks to stopping that practice.

 

I remember this being among handbook changes, but I detest trying to find things in the online ones. I'll see what I can find.

[Calm]

4 hours ago, bluebell said:

I agree.  It seems so obvious.  But it's a little crazy how often bishops call them to that position.

Unless they volunteer like me.   At that time of my life I had a high priority of avoiding groups of adults or teenagers. They overwhelmed me. 

Edited May 19, 2021 by Calm

[rongo]

1 hour ago, Amulek said:

Do you happen to recall where this is documented? Our ward still has the youth teach primary on 5th Sundays, and I would be interested in knowing where I could find something that specifically speaks to stopping that practice.

 

Found it. The online handbook is still awful to try to find anything in.

12.3.5

"Youth should not teach in Primary, including as substitutes."

It was part of the March 2020 omnibus handbook overhaul (updates are ongoing and online, but this was a big dump of changes at once. That's why it stuck out). 

[Amulek]

37 minutes ago, rongo said:

Found it. The online handbook is still awful to try to find anything in

Thanks! I'm not in love with search online either, but I definitely like the lawyer-like organizational structure which makes referencing sections much easier.

 

[InCognitus]

On 5/17/2021 at 8:42 AM, Maestrophil said:

Thanks for all the ideas.  I'll return and let you know what it was after the meeting Wednesday.  🙂  

So it's Wednesday night....  I'm cueing up the Jeopardy theme song music awaiting the news (10 hours worth).

Edit:  That theme song gets really annoying after the first 5 minutes (just saying).

Edited May 20, 2021 by InCognitus

[Maestrophil]

10 hours ago, InCognitus said:

So it's Wednesday night....  I'm cueing up the Jeopardy theme song music awaiting the news (10 hours worth).

Edit:  That theme song gets really annoying after the first 5 minutes (just saying).

Like water torture!  🙂

OK, so the verdict is...  1st counselor in the EQ.  So you guys were pretty on the money.  Thanks for helping me learn something new about the calling process!

 

 

[Hamba Tuhan]

9 hours ago, Maestrophil said:

OK, so the verdict is...  1st counselor in the EQ.

Did the HC member tell you what your portfolio will be, or will that information be coming from the president of the quorum? I actually asked for that information so that I could share it as part of the call, but only because it felt like the right thing to do in this case.

[Duncan]

We had a Mission President here like 15 years ago and he and his wife's calling just before the call to be a Mission President was nursery leaders!!! hahahahahhahahha! probably great preparation!

[Maestrophil]

13 hours ago, Hamba Tuhan said:

Did the HC member tell you what your portfolio will be, or will that information be coming from the president of the quorum? I actually asked for that information so that I could share it as part of the call, but only because it felt like the right thing to do in this case.

Negative - I was told the new EQ press would let me know everything.

[mfbukowski]

On 5/16/2021 at 7:25 PM, Maestrophil said:

Hi all - I just got released form a calling and have been asked to meet with my wife this week with a member of the high council.  

I guess I have never thought about what callings could and do come from a High Council member vs from the Stake Presidency.  What are your experiences?

 

Edited to add - It probably isn't a call to the high council, right, since that would likely come from the SP?

Have not read any comments at this time- the answer is basically "Anything the Stake President has deligated to the HC member to do"!

Not much help- - But I have interviewed called and set apart EQ presidents while I was HC member so you never know.

Edit:  EQ Counselor?

"Congratulations" but I am not surprised!

 

Edited May 23, 2021 by mfbukowski

[Stargazer]

On 5/21/2021 at 1:39 AM, Hamba Tuhan said:

Did the HC member tell you what your portfolio will be, or will that information be coming from the president of the quorum? I actually asked for that information so that I could share it as part of the call, but only because it felt like the right thing to do in this case.

That's determined by the quorum president in consultation with the bishop. And is not set in stone anyway, as it can change according to need.

[Hamba Tuhan]

17 minutes ago, Stargazer said:

That's determined by the quorum president in consultation with the bishop. And is not set in stone anyway, as it can change according to need.

I understand that, though, according to 8.2.3 of the handbook, the decision is the quorum president's alone, no need to consult with the bishop.

With the recent call I was asked to issue, I felt impressed to speak with the president beforehand so that I could share with the intended new counsellor what aspect of the work he would be taking on. This turned out to be a very good move in this case.

[Scott Lloyd]

On 5/18/2021 at 2:28 PM, JAHS said:

Young mothers with toddlers should never be called to be in the nursery. 
They need a break from it and need to associate with adults.

 

On 5/19/2021 at 9:00 AM, bluebell said:

I agree.  It seems so obvious.  But it's a little crazy how often bishops call them to that position.

I’m not so sure all such mothers view it as an opportunity for a “break.” Some may end up in there much of the time anyway, hovering over their little ones out of concern for their well-being (I’ve seen this happen). Perhaps in some cases it is wisdom (and/or inspiration) on the part of the bishop to call them to a position that would put them where they would be spending time regardless. 
 

And “associating with adults” might be somewhat overrated 😉. 

Edited May 26, 2021 by Scott Lloyd