Flowers For The Mothers In Sac Meeting

[strappinglad]

Can you imagine the reaction if headquarters announced a policy to downplay/eliminate Mothers and Fathers day type meetings? Talk about the leaders being drawn and quartered by members and critics alike. It would have to be a gentle 2% downward slope to minimalist-ness .

[rockpond]

Nice, but that is not church policy. All the meetings of the block are to be held as specified, with the proper lessons given. It's a nice idea but would not work church wide.

You might have misunderstood... All meetings were held as specified with lessons given.

[Rain]

I think that it would have to come from the First Presidency, as the change on missionary farewells did. Nothing else will work.

 

 

Can you imagine the reaction if headquarters announced a policy to downplay/eliminate Mothers and Fathers day type meetings? Talk about the leaders being drawn and quartered by members and critics alike. It would have to be a gentle 2% downward slope to minimalist-ness .

 

Probably.  I do remember how some people really disliked when it was done to the farewells.  Some people were really put our about it.  Now the younger generation might not even know there was a change.

 

My husband often jokes, "you can change the doctrine, but don't mess with the tradition!"

[Big Kid]

Thank you to everyone who posted on this topic, many made me laugh but most of all (even the sarcastic posters) it reaffirmed my belief that the members of my church truly care about everyone, no matter what our circumstances or history. I am single, childless, forty-one, a recent convert and Black. Needless to say in this church, the family thing is probably not gonna happen for me in this life. I am still elated to be a member of my new church. Not a day goes by that I am not thankful that the spirit led me to the full gospel. I love my church family.

With that being said.. Mother's Day drives me nuts and drove me nuts for many years before I joined the church.. As I read through the discussion, other than one poster, everyone appeared to address this as a church issue, that our church needs to do something different. I disagree, I think this is a universal social issue. I think that a celebration of Mother's at church (as long as it doesn't go overboard and over shadow the gospel) is wonderful. I am YWs President for my ward, for our mutual prior, I brought in my computer and printer and supplies. I taught the girls to make corsages for their Moms and helped them create personalized greeting cards. I totally support children making gifts from their heart to acknowledge their Moms on Mother's day.

(In the following paragraph, 'YOU' refers to the rest of the world thinks all women need to feel like they are a mother)

Here's my "beef" with Mother's day... Don't try to MAKE me a Mother!!! I don't need you to compensate for something 'YOU' feel I'm missing. I feel fine, I don't feel like I'm less than, YOU do.

ex. "Even if you are not a mother, you are important to the children in your life"

"Don't worry, Heavenly Father has special plans for you"

" We're all mothers in some way"

Just stop.. Be happy that Heavenly Father loves me, that I love Him and that it's okay that 'YOU' have children and I don't. It wasn't in His plan for me, I'm good with that and YOU should be too.

--just another perspective to throw in the mix of the discussion

P.s. the awards ceremony was hilarious! And the real issue I'm having is how do you find and use the emoticons...

Sincerely,

Happy Single Childless Mormon

[Brian 2.0]

Thank you to everyone who posted on this topic, many made me laugh but most of all (even the sarcastic posters) it reaffirmed my belief that the members of my church truly care about everyone, no matter what our circumstances or history. I am single, childless, forty-one, a recent convert and Black. Needless to say in this church, the family thing is probably not gonna happen for me in this life. I am still elated to be a member of my new church. Not a day goes by that I am not thankful that the spirit led me to the full gospel. I love my church family.

With that being said.. Mother's Day drives me nuts and drove me nuts for many years before I joined the church.. As I read through the discussion, other than one poster, everyone appeared to address this as a church issue, that our church needs to do something different. I disagree, I think this is a universal social issue. I think that a celebration of Mother's at church (as long as it doesn't go overboard and over shadow the gospel) is wonderful. I am YWs President for my ward, for our mutual prior, I brought in my computer and printer and supplies. I taught the girls to make corsages for their Moms and helped them create personalized greeting cards. I totally support children making gifts from their heart to acknowledge their Moms on Mother's day.

(In the following paragraph, 'YOU' refers to the rest of the world thinks all women need to feel like they are a mother)

Here's my "beef" with Mother's day... Don't try to MAKE me a Mother!!! I don't need you to compensate for something 'YOU' feel I'm missing. I feel fine, I don't feel like I'm less than, YOU do.

ex. "Even if you are not a mother, you are important to the children in your life"

"Don't worry, Heavenly Father has special plans for you"

" We're all mothers in some way"

Just stop.. Be happy that Heavenly Father loves me, that I love Him and that it's okay that 'YOU' have children and I don't. It wasn't in His plan for me, I'm good with that and YOU should be too.

--just another perspective to throw in the mix of the discussion

P.s. the awards ceremony was hilarious! And the real issue I'm having is how do you find and use the emoticons...

Sincerely,

Happy Single Childless Mormon

Great post. I feel like I should close the thread and you have the last word because that was perfect.

[Calm]

I think you can access all the extras when you hit 25 posts, but it has been so long I don't know if that includes emoticons or not.

[LJP]

Great post. I feel like I should close the thread and you have the last word because that was perfect.

. I love you're post Big Kid. I had an epiphany yesterday and your post underlines my thoughts. Self-pity is a dangerous and useless trait. I'm single and childless also. I take care of my very sick and confused mother night and day in between working long shifts in the ICU as a nurse. I get so burned out and often feel so sorry for myself. I have friends and family who feel so sorry for me and while that may be well meant, I find myself weeping and feeling resentful. Last night after a particularly bad day, I felt so strongly that I needed to ask for help to be filled with love and gratitude instead. I called my sisters and begged them to pray for this and to let go of my self-pity. What a difference I have felt since then. I think we live in a very unfair world filled with thoughtless people. We need to run to the Lord instead and be filled with gratitude.

[Thinking]

Probably.  I do remember how some people really disliked when it was done to the farewells.  Some people were really put our about it.  Now the younger generation might not even know there was a change.

 

My husband often jokes, "you can change the doctrine, but don't mess with the tradition!"

 

There was a change? Why then do I receive wedding invitation style missionary farewell announcements?

[Big Kid]

. I love you're post Big Kid. I had an epiphany yesterday and your post underlines my thoughts. Self-pity is a dangerous and useless trait. I'm single and childless also. I take care of my very sick and confused mother night and day in between working long shifts in the ICU as a nurse. I get so burned out and often feel so sorry for myself. I have friends and family who feel so sorry for me and while that may be well meant, I find myself weeping and feeling resentful. Last night after a particularly bad day, I felt so strongly that I needed to ask for help to be filled with love and gratitude instead. I called my sisters and begged them to pray for this and to let go of my self-pity. What a difference I have felt since then. I think we live in a very unfair world filled with thoughtless people. We need to run to the Lord instead and be filled with gratitude.

LJP thanks for sharing! Whoa.. Amazing so many of us in similar circumstances. I can honestly say I know how you feel. I care for my Grandmother and had been caring for both my Grandparents until my Grandfather passed in January. I hope you continue to pray, that's where it's at! Brings me so much peace.

[bluebell]

There was a change? Why then do I receive wedding invitation style missionary farewell announcements?

The change was in missionary farewells during sacrament meeting. Families can still do whatever they want outside of church.

Before, it was almost like the family who had a missionary leaving was hosting sacrament. I like the new change.

Edited May 12, 2015 by bluebell

[Rain]

. I love you're post Big Kid. I had an epiphany yesterday and your post underlines my thoughts. Self-pity is a dangerous and useless trait. I'm single and childless also. I take care of my very sick and confused mother night and day in between working long shifts in the ICU as a nurse. I get so burned out and often feel so sorry for myself. I have friends and family who feel so sorry for me and while that may be well meant, I find myself weeping and feeling resentful. Last night after a particularly bad day, I felt so strongly that I needed to ask for help to be filled with love and gratitude instead. I called my sisters and begged them to pray for this and to let go of my self-pity. What a difference I have felt since then. I think we live in a very unfair world filled with thoughtless people. We need to run to the Lord instead and be filled with gratitude.

I am so glad that is happening for you.  That gratitude is such a great blessing. It's amazing what it can do for us and those around us.

 

We do have to remember there is a season for everything.  There is a time to mourn and a time to dance.  When, as a diabetic on my last Mother's day before I became a mom, a man talked about his sister, a diabetic, who died from the consequences of having a child I needed to mourn that I may never be able to to physically have a child.  When I was talking to my Heavenly Father about my newborn third child and that if it was the Lord's will to take him then I would be grateful for my blessings it was a time for trusting the Lord.

 

I've learned through trials that sometimes it is right for me to mourn and sometimes it is right for me to look at others and have that view help me put my trials in perspective and be grateful.  But I've also learned that I can only do that for myself with the Lord. I can't decide that it is time for someone else to get out of mourning, but I can comfort them while they are there. 

 

I'm not asking to get rid of Mother's Day.  I think it can be a wonderful thing.  I love how Mother's Day began.  I just wish we could scale it back.  

 

 

There was a change? Why then do I receive wedding invitation style missionary farewell announcements?

 

Well, tradition is hard to change sometimes.

[cinepro]

The change was in missionary farewells during sacrament meeting. Families can still do whatever they want outside of church.

Before, it was almost like the family who had a missionary leaving was hosting sacrament. I like the new change.

When the change was made, I lived in a ward with very few youth, and even fewer who would serve missions. We were lucky to have a missionary leave once or twice a year. So when one was leaving, we still made a pretty big deal out of it.

But yeah, I remember the big farewells with all the family speaking and singing musical numbers.  The focus of the meeting was most definitely on the missionary, and any mentions of the gospel were only tangents, so I can see the problem.  Especially in wards where it was happening a lot.

[Storm Rider]

The change was in missionary farewells during sacrament meeting. Families can still do whatever they want outside of church.

Before, it was almost like the family who had a missionary leaving was hosting sacrament. I like the new change.

 

I always resented that change.  It reeked of what is bad for Utah must be bad for the Church as a whole and thus condemned.  The reality is that in the mission field missionaries go out mush less often; it remains a big event not only for the family, but the congregation as a whole.  There was never competition between families or a loss of focus on the gospel - the gospel was the reason each missionary was going.  

 

When the Church changed that a vital community event was denied because of a problem that did not exist.  I still think it was shortsighted and narrow; it reflected a specific region of the Church while completely ignoring the needs of the worldwide Church as a whole.  

[bluebell]

I always resented that change.  It reeked of what is bad for Utah must be bad for the Church as a whole and thus condemned.  The reality is that in the mission field missionaries go out mush less often; it remains a big event not only for the family, but the congregation as a whole.  There was never competition between families or a loss of focus on the gospel - the gospel was the reason each missionary was going.  

 

When the Church changed that a vital community event was denied because of a problem that did not exist.  I still think it was shortsighted and narrow; it reflected a specific region of the Church while completely ignoring the needs of the worldwide Church as a whole.  

 

I've only lived in utah for 18 months-all the rest of my experience is from 'the mission field'.  I think it fixed a problem that did exist.  

[Storm Rider]

I've only lived in utah for 18 months-all the rest of my experience is from 'the mission field'.  I think it fixed a problem that did exist.  

 

No worries; we just disagree over something that has little value given how much time has passed.  

[Calm]

I remember quite a few talks of mothers that went over the life history of the child without telling much of the spiritual side of that experience and these were in the "mission field".

 

It would be nice imo to have something to celebrate the missionary going out and local service missionaries as well, but maybe for a ward activity rather than a Sabbath day.

[rpn]

I wonder how we got to flowers that are bedraggled before they get home after the third hour, or candy that melts for women whose contribution is trivialized by those things and when none of those distributed by the young boys will make up for what did happen in their home that morning but should have, and what didn't happen throughout the year but should on more than the day appointed.    I also wonder why we chose to spend the $100 there when there are mothers who do not have a the minimum required for their kids, both in the US and abroad.   Better to have sent that money to the Nepal fund.

[Mola Ram Suda Ram]

. I love you're post Big Kid. I had an epiphany yesterday and your post underlines my thoughts. Self-pity is a dangerous and useless trait. I'm single and childless also. I take care of my very sick and confused mother night and day in between working long shifts in the ICU as a nurse. I get so burned out and often feel so sorry for myself. I have friends and family who feel so sorry for me and while that may be well meant, I find myself weeping and feeling resentful. Last night after a particularly bad day, I felt so strongly that I needed to ask for help to be filled with love and gratitude instead. I called my sisters and begged them to pray for this and to let go of my self-pity. What a difference I have felt since then. I think we live in a very unfair world filled with thoughtless people. We need to run to the Lord instead and be filled with gratitude.

It's all about your mind set. This is very good advise in general. 

 

I always used to call them pity parties. I tell my kids that I will call them a wambulance because they are whining.

[katherine the great]

We got snickers bars. And all the men taught our classes for us the last hour. Oh and then we got Mini cheesecakes. It was great!

[carbon dioxide]

If you really want to make the younger women happy on mothers day, forget giving them flowers. Give them a small iTunes gift card.  They will appreciate that more.

[Vanguard]

Growing up this was a staple in our ward. Mothers got one. Grandmothers got two. Great grandmothers got three.

Then it changed to one flower to all 18+ women because women that never married or never had kids felt bad.

Then last bishop he took it away completely. And everyone pretty much revolted. But he stuck to his guns.

New bishop this year and flowers for all women is back.

Is this tradition, our variations of it, alive and well around the church? Is there a Mother's Day outside the US?

Anyone dislike the practice?

 

I like the practice and always have. I remember as a child the ward would honor those mothers with the most children, those who were the oldest, the newest, etc. I thought it was great. Since then the practice has since been watered down to include a rose and/or chocolates to all females. And yes, the topics on Mother's Day continue as does the tradition of having the Primary sing up front in honor of mothers. I hope this tradition continues. And I also think it's ok for childless women to skip the services. I also think it's a cheap shot to suggest that because it is perpetuated by men that it is therefore insensitive.

 

I'm not sure what those who are uncomfortable with this practice are proposing? That we stop honoring and focusing on the importance of motherhood? What about those who aren't even married? Should we stop focusing on lauding marital unions in order to spare the feelings of the single population? I was single until I was 32 (on the older end in most Mormon circles) and I was not offended when we celebrated marriage in church.

 

As a compromise, I imagine we could celebrate all those women who are not only actual mothers but all women who have that potential in their future as well as those women who - though they are not mothers - serve as surrogates in motherly roles both within the church and our communities. As far as I'm concerned any childless woman who puts herself out to serve those children who struggle in our community is as fine a mother as anyone else.

[stemelbow]

We got snickers bars. And all the men taught our classes for us the last hour. Oh and then we got Mini cheesecakes. It was great!

Most likely an effort to bring it back to the old days when women were told not to speak. It seems the men got what they wanted, at least, for an hour in your ward. They were all thinking, "I love mother's day. It gives us an excuse to shut them up for an hour".

[bluebell]

Most likely an effort to bring it back to the old days when women were told not to speak. It seems the men got what they wanted, at least, for an hour in your ward. They were all thinking, "I love mother's day. It gives us an excuse to shut them up for an hour".

 

I can only assume that you are joking with this!  

[stemelbow]

I can only assume that you are joking with this!  

Yeah... what was in my mind and what I read now that I came back doesn't quite fit together. It certainly was intended to be a joke, but poorly delivered. I'm better in person I've learned.

[toon]

Can you imagine the reaction if headquarters announced a policy to downplay/eliminate Mothers and Fathers day type meetings? Talk about the leaders being drawn and quartered by members and critics alike. It would have to be a gentle 2% downward slope to minimalist-ness .

 

I can't speak to Mothers' Day.  But as to Fathers' Day, whenever my family asks what I want, I tell them that I want to be left alone.  (Same for birthdays.)  For some reason, no matter how awesome it would be to have a day where nobody bothered me, it never happens.