bluebell Posted May 11, 2015 Posted May 11, 2015 Our ward does not give anything out at the end of Sacrament Mtg. Instead, we relieve the sisters (ALL adult sisters) of their teaching responsibilities during the third hour of the block and send them all to RS where we provide them with a spread of fruit, chocolate, and other refreshments. They mingle, have a short lesson, and enjoy some "sister time". The feedback we've gotten has been overwhelmingly positive. I thought this was such a good idea when i heard some other sisters talking about their wards that do this but some of them were complaining about how much they hate it! They were mad they had to leave primary and socialize with women instead of focusing on the children. I feel bad for the guys on this holiday....
Glenn101 Posted May 11, 2015 Posted May 11, 2015 This is one of those "you can't please everyone" type of things. I personally laud my wife at home and remember my own mother at church.
rockpond Posted May 11, 2015 Posted May 11, 2015 I thought this was such a good idea when i heard some other sisters talking about their wards that do this but some of them were complaining about how much they hate it! They were mad they had to leave primary and socialize with women instead of focusing on the children. We have not received any feedback of that sort though I know we have some very dedicated primary teachers who, I acknowledge, may feel that way. I feel bad for the guys on this holiday.... I appreciate the sympathy.
stemelbow Posted May 11, 2015 Posted May 11, 2015 I don't call it a trap (and i'm sorry but i'm not really sure what you were saying in the first paragraph). I think this is a problem that most people struggle with, myself included. I just think that if satan's goal is to spread misery, but he can't get people to do things to make themselves feel miserable, trying to get people to feel miserable on behalf of someone else is a very workable option. And it must really be a coup for him if he can get us to be miserable because we feel its the best most loving way to respond to the misery around us. Yeah, surely we're seeing things a bit opposite of each other. But that's alright. Take care. 1
Rain Posted May 11, 2015 Posted May 11, 2015 Knowing that some men can be obtuse, it would be not unusual for the authorities to pick women speakers who are terrified of giving talks and thus turn an hour of uncomfortable-ness into a couple of weeks of stress. Maybe it is best that the Bishop announce " happy Mother's Day " at the start of the meeting and then just move on. I think most men would hardly notice if Father's Day was ignored at church. Mobile phone liking this.
cinepro Posted May 11, 2015 Posted May 11, 2015 I got you all beat. My ward did a full-on Mother's Day Award Ceremony for years. After Sacrament Meeting, all the women would get flowers. Then they give a flower to the woman with the most children (they ask all the moms to stand up, and then say "Moms with four children or more, stay standing...five children or more...six children..." and so on until only one is left). Then a flower to the woman with the most children under 5. Then the woman with the most children who have served missions. Then the woman with the most grandkids. Then the most great-grandkids. Then the RS, YW and Primary Presidencies. And so on... It usually took about 20 minutes. I think there are about 10 categories. I moved into the ward 8 years ago and we'd done it every year. We just got a new Bishop, and yesterday there was no "award ceremony". They didn't even hand out the flowers after Sacrament Meeting. They waited until the third hour and served the women their usual light brunch (sandwiches and pie), and gave them the flowers then.
Buckeye Posted May 11, 2015 Posted May 11, 2015 I got you all beat. My ward did a full-on Mother's Day Award Ceremony for years. After Sacrament Meeting, all the women would get flowers. Then they give a flower to the woman with the most children (they ask all the moms to stand up, and then say "Moms with four children or more, stay standing...five children or more...six children..." and so on until only one is left). Then a flower to the woman with the most children under 5. Then the woman with the most children who have served missions. Then the woman with the most grandkids. Then the most great-grandkids. Then the RS, YW and Primary Presidencies. And so on... It usually took about 20 minutes. I think there are about 10 categories. I moved into the ward 8 years ago and we'd done it every year. We just got a new Bishop, and yesterday there was no "award ceremony". They didn't even hand out the flowers after Sacrament Meeting. They waited until the third hour and served the women their usual light brunch (sandwiches and pie), and gave them the flowers then. Nice. I assume the women without kids got to compete for a Ms. Congeniality award. And was a similar beauty pagent held for father's day? This has to rank up with Mother's Day Report Card (http://mormonmomma.com/public-school-fail-mothers-day-report-card/)
bluebell Posted May 11, 2015 Posted May 11, 2015 I got you all beat. My ward did a full-on Mother's Day Award Ceremony for years. After Sacrament Meeting, all the women would get flowers. Then they give a flower to the woman with the most children (they ask all the moms to stand up, and then say "Moms with four children or more, stay standing...five children or more...six children..." and so on until only one is left). Then a flower to the woman with the most children under 5. Then the woman with the most children who have served missions. Then the woman with the most grandkids. Then the most great-grandkids. Then the RS, YW and Primary Presidencies. And so on... It usually took about 20 minutes. I think there are about 10 categories. I moved into the ward 8 years ago and we'd done it every year. We just got a new Bishop, and yesterday there was no "award ceremony". They didn't even hand out the flowers after Sacrament Meeting. They waited until the third hour and served the women their usual light brunch (sandwiches and pie), and gave them the flowers then. That sounds not fun at all! (The awards ceremony. I could totally get behind the pie and sandwiches!)
Rain Posted May 11, 2015 Posted May 11, 2015 This is actually a problem that crosses all lines. Mothers, whether religious or atheist, (again in general) tend to hate mother's day. I have seen countless (more than 20 yesterday alone) blogs written about why mother's day is so horrible or why this woman or that woman hates the day and only one was written by an mormon. If there is one thing that us women are good at it's feeling badly about ourselves.Edit to add-I don't think that the majority of women hate mother's day but rather that those who hate it now feel able to express themselves while those who don't really can't say anything in support of it because it would be interpreted as being uncaring for other women's feelings. In other words, it's popular right now to hate mothers day, so that popularity is reflected in articles and blogs.I don't think most women hate mother's day either. I certainly don't hate it. I just don't think we need to celebrate it at church. Most of the time I see a bigger deal made out of it than Easter. That just doesn't sit well with me.Nothing is going to fit every woman. I know my husband feels like this is a land mine no matter what the ward gives or who talks. Why don't we just let individual families celebrate it the way that works for them?Cinepro - 30 plus years I remember my ward doing the award thing. I was excited because I knew with 5 kids my mom would get the most kids award. Not even close. Someone had 11. Now, as an adult I can imagine how horrible it would be for some of the women. 1
cinepro Posted May 11, 2015 Posted May 11, 2015 Nice. I assume the women without kids got to compete for a Ms. Congeniality award. And was a similar beauty pagent held for father's day? This has to rank up with Mother's Day Report Card (http://mormonmomma.com/public-school-fail-mothers-day-report-card/) I think the worst thing about it was that the woman who had the most kids (I think 10 or 11) got them under dubious circumstances, in that it was a mixed family that came together as a result of adultery, and some were born out of wedlock etc.. I can't remember the actual story, but I know there was some eye rolling from some of the women each year when she got her "award".
Buckeye Posted May 11, 2015 Posted May 11, 2015 I think the worst thing about it was that the woman who had the most kids (I think 10 or 11) got them under dubious circumstances, in that it was a mixed family that came together as a result of adultery, and some were born out of wedlock etc.. I can't remember the actual story, but I know there was some eye rolling from some of the women each year when she got her "award". I yield! Your's is the best (worse!) story. By chance, octomom is not in your ward, is she?
Thinking Posted May 11, 2015 Posted May 11, 2015 My only opinion is this: My wife likes getting flowers on Mother's Day (and other special days), so I give her flowers (and chocolates too)! 1
Thinking Posted May 11, 2015 Posted May 11, 2015 Cash???? I'm a Mommie... Young mothers love the primary Mother's Day program..(do they still do that)? But the rest is kind of "ho-hum" as it really is another day..for Mom to cook dinner... And Dad to do the dishes!
Calm Posted May 11, 2015 Posted May 11, 2015 Hey mak, maybe you've already said this somewhere else, but what would you recommend a bishopric or RSP for their respective meetings on mother's day? The pain you mention is real, but is there any way to avoid that without dropping mother's day entirely? I see this same problem in many areas - for example, a youth who cannot serve a mission due to heath reasons may be pained at missionary addresses given before/after another youth leaves on their mission. I'm not sure how to alleviate that pain though. Motherhood, missions, etc. are good things and so need to be taught and held up as an example to be followed. Short of solving the underlining pain itself - childlessness, heath issues, etc. - what is best way to help this pain?I think it is the limited focus for special praise on just a few things that is the main issue. Showing appreciation including talks focused on various aspects of people's roles throughout the year will IMO make the appreciation feel more sincere rather than something to do to make up for not bothering to think about it in any significant way the rest of the year (if a woman is only getting presents on Valentine's and Mothers' day, there is a problem, IMO...same if men only get it on Fathers' day). Having talks on missions and having talks on how we can be positive influences in converting our friends to the Gospel (even if they don't join the Church), having talks about other roles of women in our lives as teachers, friends, mentors as well as mothers, etc. would be helpful. Shining a massive spotlight a few times a year on a limited set of people is the primary issue IMO. We need to work harder at teaching the value of a variety of roles throughout the year and not just clump everything for women under two headings---mother and disciple of Christ---or for young men---missionary and disciple of Christ, etc. 1
Calm Posted May 11, 2015 Posted May 11, 2015 And yet, there are people who are diabetic, hypoglycemic, food addicted, watching their calories, allergic to chocolate, not eating sugar or "white" foods and just plain don't like chocolate that would prefer the flowers. One gift just never works for all people and is one more reason not to do it.We get music CDs usually.
Calm Posted May 11, 2015 Posted May 11, 2015 . The topic of the talks was 'prophets and revelation.' .That would be because they are following the monthly topic of the Youth curriculum. 1
Popular Post Raingirl Posted May 11, 2015 Popular Post Posted May 11, 2015 If we stop recognizing mothers on Mother's Day because there are women who are not mothers, where do we draw the line?I am single. Perhaps the church should stop yammering on about marriage.....eternal or otherwise."Parents kind and dear"? Soooooo offensive, my father was neither.Speaking of fathers...loan we just knock off this "Heavenly Father" stuff? I can't relate.I didn't grow up in the church so please don't mention all of those things I didn't get to experience....camp, YW, mutual, institute, etc.I only had one child, so please no references to family size.Our Ward gave a potted plant to all women. The talks - all by men - were beautiful and addressed the heartbreak of childless women in a beautiful, spirit-filled way.Let the flaming begin.... 5
hagoth7 Posted May 11, 2015 Posted May 11, 2015 ...Let the flaming begin....There's nothing to flame about. Great post.
Calm Posted May 11, 2015 Posted May 11, 2015 (edited) This has another approach, but it ignores those who had a rotten mother or one whose last thought of getting pregnant was of sacrifice: http://lds.net/blog/life/holidays/rethinking-mothers-day/?utm_source=lds.net+users&utm_campaign=bcba156128-Week_24_Newsletter_May_08_2015&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_608611419d-bcba156128-86249417 One could adapt the focus by having it on women who have had the most positive effect on one growing up as opposed to biological or adoptive mothers. Edited May 11, 2015 by calmoriah
ERMD Posted May 11, 2015 Posted May 11, 2015 Our bishopric bags up Ghirardelli chocolate squares (variety) and different Godiva truffles. The priests hand them out to all women over mutual age.Goes over pretty well. 1
mfbukowski Posted May 11, 2015 Posted May 11, 2015 That's a tough question, but my personal feelings are that mother's day is something for families to celebrate. I don't see why the Church has to take ownership or feel obligated to focus on it. Were I a bishop, I'd probably use the opportunity to focus on the value and contributions of our single or childless sisters. I'd have them speak and share their own thoughts and feelings.That's a great idea, actually. We can complain about it, but the fact of the matter that the Bishop who decides to cancel Mother's Day would be viewed as against apple pie and Motherhood, not to mention the flag and organized sports. The question becomes how to get from A to B in any situation in which one is bucking "tradition"
mfbukowski Posted May 11, 2015 Posted May 11, 2015 It's interesting that you mention missions along with this. Farewells used to be a big deal with all the talks, musical numbers and even the prayers being centered about the missionary leaving. Now, in most cases that I have seen the missionary just gives one of the talks. Mother's Day is even a bigger deal because there are the gifts and it goes into the other meetings. If you cut the whole 3 hour mother's day block into one simple thing it would go a long way - though determining what that simple thing is may be difficult.I think that it would have to come from the First Presidency, as the change on missionary farewells did. Nothing else will work. 1
mfbukowski Posted May 12, 2015 Posted May 12, 2015 Our ward does not give anything out at the end of Sacrament Mtg. Instead, we relieve the sisters (ALL adult sisters) of their teaching responsibilities during the third hour of the block and send them all to RS where we provide them with a spread of fruit, chocolate, and other refreshments. They mingle, have a short lesson, and enjoy some "sister time". The feedback we've gotten has been overwhelmingly positive.Nice, but that is not church policy. All the meetings of the block are to be held as specified, with the proper lessons given. It's a nice idea but would not work church wide.
mfbukowski Posted May 12, 2015 Posted May 12, 2015 Our bishopric bags up Ghirardelli chocolate squares (variety) and different Godiva truffles. The priests hand them out to all women over mutual age. Goes over pretty well.Oh I see. Promoting diabetes, hey? It seems today that everything is wrong for someone, and that someone will make a big deal about it. Political correctness. Sigh.
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