Wants2know Posted March 27, 2015 Posted March 27, 2015 Here is my question for all you smart folks on here. It looks like I will be filing for divorce. I'm not sure if it will actually end up in a divorce but I need to file. In either case, do you think we would be breaking the law of chastity if after we are divorced we live together (platonically). It's a financial issue. My thought is that it isn't. But I want opinions. I haven't spoken to the Bishop yet. Thanks!
strappinglad Posted March 27, 2015 Posted March 27, 2015 I have a friend whose wife cheated on him .They got divorced. She and her new husband ( the one she cheated with ) live upstairs in the family home and my friend lives downstairs. Haven't heard of any chastity issues with my friend. I do question his mental condition however.
rpn Posted March 27, 2015 Posted March 27, 2015 You have no problem with chastity if you have sex with him up until the day your divorce (not the property settlement if it is separated and later) is actually, really final (not the day the judge orders it in states that have a waiting period thereafter, but the day it is actually final. Nowadays many families continue to share a residence while everything gets sorted out. As you said, it is necessary for financial reasons, and helpful for kids sometimes. And, BTW, living platonically is NEVER breaking the law of chastity. But that doesn't stop leaders from counseling against that as though two opposite sex people cannot ever be platonic, but must always be "cohabitating" if they are sleeping within the same house. 1
Wants2know Posted March 27, 2015 Author Posted March 27, 2015 Good point Rpn. As far as living with new husbands, girlfriends etc... no. I can't even imagine that.
rpn Posted March 27, 2015 Posted March 27, 2015 And you have no need to speak to the bishop about it, ever. You are, after all, doing not one thing wrong.
Popular Post The Nehor Posted March 27, 2015 Popular Post Posted March 27, 2015 And you have no need to speak to the bishop about it, ever. You are, after all, doing not one thing wrong.The counsel of Priesthood leaders should be avoided all costs for fear you will get counsel you do not like. Sounds like sound advice. 5
The Nehor Posted March 27, 2015 Posted March 27, 2015 I am so very sorry to hear this, W2K... GGSeconded. 1
Kenngo1969 Posted March 27, 2015 Posted March 27, 2015 I am so very sorry to hear this, W2K... GG Seconded.Thirded. I don't have any sage advice for your situation (although, as an acquaintance of mine put it once, marriage, when it works well, can be a wonderful institution, I've never been "institutionalized" ), but I do wish you well.
Storm Rider Posted March 27, 2015 Posted March 27, 2015 The counsel of the church leaders and other spiritual counselors is to not put yourself in a dangerous position for serious sins. Not really a biggie, but sage advice. You only commit adultery or fornication when there is actually sexual intercourse involved. As long as the relationship is platonic there are no problems. Some may be concerned with the image set for others, but at the end of the day you do what you can do. Although it is good to be concerned about sinning, based upon what you have said in you are on solid ground.
Calm Posted March 27, 2015 Posted March 27, 2015 If the bishop is concerned for any reason (I am thinking the conversation might come up out of concern on how you are doing and whether your needs ate met) and he expresses a belief it would be best for you not to live as roommates, he may also offer church assistance in finding separate housing.He may encourage you to move for your emotional health more than concern over chastity issues. 3
Avatar4321 Posted March 27, 2015 Posted March 27, 2015 First, talk to your bishop.second, if things are so bad that you need to divorce, how will things be any better if you continue living together? I'm not asking for my benefit. It's none of my business. It just seems that if you can continue living together, why get divorced to begin with? It may seriously confuse the children. This is something you guys need to work out.seek the Lord and get counsel from the bishop. He has keys to help you.
Wants2know Posted March 27, 2015 Author Posted March 27, 2015 First, talk to your bishop.second, if things are so bad that you need to divorce, how will things be any better if you continue living together? I'm not asking for my benefit. It's none of my business. It just seems that if you can continue living together, why get divorced to begin with? It may seriously confuse the children. This is something you guys need to work out.seek the Lord and get counsel from the bishop. He has keys to help you.I agree. "It's complicated". I'm not in any danger other than financial. The legality of a divorce in terms of financial consequences is my greatest concern. We don't have any other marital problems. I think I've decided to wait and try to problem solve this with a trusted advisor. At least until I feel like all the information and concerns are flushed out to my complete satisfaction. When I wrote this I was spinning a bit, and frankly, panicked. I really don't want to mess up my family. At the same time, I may not have other recourse. I would love to sell everything and pack up and move to a place no one knows me and start over. But that's a daydream and I need to face this complicated reality with more hope. And a rational mind wouldn't hurt.
JLHPROF Posted March 27, 2015 Posted March 27, 2015 In either case, do you think we would be breaking the law of chastity if after we are divorced we live together (platonically). Absolutely not. How could it?
Ham Clam Posted March 27, 2015 Posted March 27, 2015 I agree. "It's complicated". I'm not in any danger other than financial. The legality of a divorce in terms of financial consequences is my greatest concern. We don't have any other marital problems. I think I've decided to wait and try to problem solve this with a trusted advisor. At least until I feel like all the information and concerns are flushed out to my complete satisfaction. When I wrote this I was spinning a bit, and frankly, panicked. I really don't want to mess up my family. At the same time, I may not have other recourse. I would love to sell everything and pack up and move to a place no one knows me and start over. But that's a daydream and I need to face this complicated reality with more hope. And a rational mind wouldn't hurt.Hope your life can make a turn for the better.And I don't think anyone will think you're breaking the law of chastity in your transition period, if you decide to divorce.
BookofMormonLuvr Posted March 28, 2015 Posted March 28, 2015 I'm confused...Are you getting a divorce because it solves some financial conundrum or because you don't want to be married to each other?
Rivers Posted April 10, 2015 Posted April 10, 2015 Sometimes divorce is a necessary evil. I know of people who have found great happiness after getting divorced and re-marrying.
CCRW Posted April 11, 2015 Posted April 11, 2015 I'm always sorry to hear about divorces. Having been married to the same woman for 35 years, and almost having come to the point ourselves over that time, I always wish others could work it out. But I also realize that often times this just is not realistic.
BCSpace Posted April 19, 2015 Posted April 19, 2015 do you think we would be breaking the law of chastity if after we are divorced we live together (platonically). Not at all. The problem is going to be, who will believe you?
cinepro Posted April 20, 2015 Posted April 20, 2015 Here is my question for all you smart folks on here. It looks like I will be filing for divorce. I'm not sure if it will actually end up in a divorce but I need to file. In either case, do you think we would be breaking the law of chastity if after we are divorced we live together (platonically). It's a financial issue. My thought is that it isn't. But I want opinions. I haven't spoken to the Bishop yet. Thanks! From the divorces I've seen, I'd be more worried about someone breaking the sixth commandment than the seventh.
The Nehor Posted April 20, 2015 Posted April 20, 2015 From the divorces I've seen, I'd be more worried about someone breaking the sixth commandment than the seventh.I believe in multi-tasking on breaking those.
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