Bernard Gui Posted October 8, 2014 Posted October 8, 2014 (edited) Whatever you do for a living, there is an LDS hymn for you. The Locksmith's hymn: A Key Was Turned in Latter DaysThe Medium's hymn: A Voice Has Spoken from the DustThe PETA hymn: All Creatures of Our God and KingThe Night Watchman's hymns: As I Watch the Rising Sun and The Day Dawn is BreakingThe Bootlegger's hymn: As the Dew from Heaven DistillingThe Mattress Maker's hymns: Awake and Arise and Awake, Ye Saints of God, AwakeThe Birthday Celebrant's hymn: Because I Have Been Given MuchThe Tour Guide's hymn: Behold, the Mountain of the LordThe Telephone Solicitor's hymn: Called to ServeThe Teaparty Recruiter's hymn: Choose the RightThe Light Bulb Installer's hymn: Come, all Whose Souls are LightedThe Bus Driver's hymn: Does the Journey Seem Long?The Gardner's hymn: Earth With Her Ten Thousand FlowersThe Geologist's hymns: Firm as the Mountains Around Us and Rock of AgesThe Sycophant's hymn: Glorious Things of Thee are SpokenThe Self-Doubting Worrier's hymn: Have I Done Any Good?The Mountain Climber's hymn: High On The Mountain TopThe Contractor's hymn: How Firm a FoundationThe Stressed-out Employee's hymn: I Have Work Enough to DoThe Positive Affirmation Self-Talker's hymn: I Will Not Doubt, I Will Not FearThe Galactic Hitchhiker's hymn: If You Could Hie to KolobThe Tourist's hymn: I'm a Pilgrim, I'm a StrangerThe Happy Valley Dweller's hymn: In Our Lovely DeseretThe Telephone Operator's hymn: Israel, Israel, God is CallingThe Bullfrog's hymn: Joy to the WorldThe Libertarian's hymn: Know This that Every Soul is FreeThe Physical Therapist's hymn: Lean on My Ample ArmThe Newly Elected Politician's hymn: Let Earth's Inhabitants RejoiceThe Dry Cleaner's hymn: Let Us All Press OnThe Rodney King hymn: Let Us Oft Speak Kind Words to Each OtherThe Army General's hymn: Like Ten Thousand Legions MarchingThe 1970s Guru's hymn: Love One AnotherThe Weather Forecaster's hymn: Master, The Tempest is RagingThe Laser Eye Surgeon's hymn: Mine Eyes Have Seen the GloryThe Positive Affirmationist's hymn: Nay Speak No IllThe Choir Director's hymn: Now We'll Sing With One Accord (a chord)The Airline Pilot's hymn: Oh, beautiful for Spacious SkiesThe Audiologist's hymn: Ah Hark! A Glorious SoundThe Realtor's hymn: O Home BelovedThe Optometrist's hymn: Oh say, can you seeThe Philosopher's hymn: Oh say, What is Truth?The Roast Show Host's hymn: Praise to the ManThe Hearing Aid Salesman's hymn: Rejoice! A Glorious Sound is HeardThe Hunchback's hymn: Ring Out, Wild BellsThe Urologist's hymn: Rise Up Oh MenThe Behavioral Therapist's hymn: School Thy FeelingsThe Junior High Counselor's hymn: Shall the Youth of Zion Falter?The Book Burner's hymn: Should You Feel Inclined to CensureThe CPAP Machine Seller's hymn: Silent NightThe Honeybee Keeper's hymn: Sweet is the WorkThe Wedding Planner's hymn: The Happy Day at Last Has ComeThe Divorce Lawyer's hymn: The Happy Day at Last Has ComeThe Welder's hymn: The Iron RodThe Lazy Farmer's hymn: The Lord My Pasture Will PrepareThe Efficiency Expert's hymn: The Time Is Far SpentThe Temporary Employer's hymn: The World Has Need of Willing Men Edited October 9, 2014 by Bernard Gui
Scott Lloyd Posted October 8, 2014 Posted October 8, 2014 The compiler of this list made a common error. Censure and censor are different words -- and they are not synonymns.
Buckeye Posted October 8, 2014 Posted October 8, 2014 The compiler of this list made a common error. Censure and censor are different words -- and they are not synonymns. Well, that begs the question .... 1
BCSpace Posted October 9, 2014 Posted October 9, 2014 I could not find banker Because I Have Been Given Much (#219) We Give Thee But Thine Own (#218)
guerreiro9 Posted October 9, 2014 Posted October 9, 2014 I spit my food out laughing when I read the urologist one.
Silhouette Posted October 9, 2014 Posted October 9, 2014 This is hilarious...some of these beg to be worked into a talk somehow.
rodheadlee Posted October 9, 2014 Posted October 9, 2014 You left out the 2 most important professions: farmers and carpenters.
Bernard Gui Posted October 9, 2014 Author Posted October 9, 2014 (edited) The compiler of this list made a common error. Censure and censor are different words -- and they are not synonymns.It's a pun. I'm the author, not the compiler. I take full credit for all errors.The Church News Editor's hymns: For All the Saints, Hark All Ye Nations, and Glorious Things Are Sung of ZionThe Church News Reporter's hymn: From Homes of Saints Glad Songs Arise Edited October 9, 2014 by Bernard Gui
Bernard Gui Posted October 9, 2014 Author Posted October 9, 2014 I spit my food out laughing when I read the urologist one. -guerreiro9I wondered if I should include that one.
Bernard Gui Posted October 9, 2014 Author Posted October 9, 2014 (edited) The Carpenter's hymn: They the Builders of the NationThe Farmer's hymn: We are SowingThe Public Defender's hymn: Though Deepening TrialsThe Las Vegas Wedding Chapel Preacher's hymn: On This Day of Joy and GladnessThe Drill Sargent's hymn: We are All EnlistedThe Lonely Roommate's hymn: Abide With MeThe Vampire's hymn: As the Shadows FallThe Family Counselor's hymn: Home Can Be a Heaven on EarthThe FAA Plane Crash Investigator's hymn: It May Not Be on the Mountain's HeightThe Schoolmarm's hymn: Help Me to Teach With InspirationThe CEO's hymn: Again We Meet Around the BoardThe New Orleans Football Offense Coach's hymn: Press Forward Saints.The Baker's hymn: I Need Thee Every HourThe Tire Repairman's hymn: Put Your Shoulder to the WheelThe GPS Salesman's hymn: Guide Me to TheeThe Head Butler's hymn: Thy Servants Are PreparedThe Lie Detector Machine Technician's hymn: Truth Reflects Upon Our SensesThe Taxi Driver's hymn: I'll Go Where You Want Me to GoThe BYU Quarterback's hymns: Praise to the Man, How Great Thou Art, All Glory Laud and Honor, Glorious Things of Thee are Spoken, How Wonderous and Great, Sing Praise to Him, and Be Thou HumbleThe BYU Offensive Center's hymn: Behold the Mountain of the LordThe BYU Wide Reciever's hymn: Go Forth With FaithThe BYU Running Back's hymn: I'll Go Where You Want Me to GoThe BYU Defensive Linesman's hymn: Up, Awake Ye Defenders of ZionThe BYU Defensive Center's hymn: How Firm a FoundationThe BYU Fieldgoal Kicker's hymn: Did You Think to Pray?The BYU Cheerleader's hymns: Who's on the Lord's Side? Scatter Sunshine, and With All the Power of Heart and TongueThe Referee's at BYU football games hymn: Ye Simple Souls Who StrayThe BYU Football Coach Search Committee's hymn: Hope of IsraelThe BYU Edwards Stadium PA Announcer's hymn: See the Mighty Priesrhood GatheredThe BYU Coach's hymn in the Locker Room at Halftime: Rise Up O Men of GodThe BYU Fan's hymns after a win: What Glorious Scenes Mine Eyes Behold!, How Wonderous and Great, and With Wondering AweThe BYU Fan's hymns after a loss to an unranked team: Come, Ye Disconsolate and A Poor Wayfaring Man of GriefThe BYU Pep Band Director's hymn: We Are Marching on to GloryThe BYU Faculty Tour Guide's hymn: Far, Far Away on Judea's PlainsThe BYU Yenta's hymn: The World Has Need of Willing MenThe Search and Rescuer's hymn: Ye Simple Souls Who astrayThe Union Boss's hymn: Ye Who Are Called to LaborThe Road Kill Chef's hymn: Carry On Edited October 9, 2014 by Bernard Gui
Bernard Gui Posted October 9, 2014 Author Posted October 9, 2014 (edited) Alas, there seems to be no hymn for lawyers. Pity that. Edited October 9, 2014 by Bernard Gui
sheilauk Posted October 9, 2014 Posted October 9, 2014 Since most lawyers are on the Devil's side, its understandable really!
Scott Lloyd Posted October 9, 2014 Posted October 9, 2014 (edited) Since most lawyers are on the Devil's side, its understandable really! Then couldn't the lawyer's hymn be "Who's on the Lord's Side? Who!"? Edited October 9, 2014 by Scott Lloyd 1
strappinglad Posted October 9, 2014 Posted October 9, 2014 (edited) We always called " High on a Mountain Top " , the marijuana song. " How Firm a Foundation " is the hymn for a corset maker. The business man's hymn . " We thank thee, Oh God for a Profit(sic) " Edited October 9, 2014 by strappinglad 1
Ahab Posted October 9, 2014 Posted October 9, 2014 Very well done. I didn't see one for accountants, though, so Count Your Blessings is a good fit.
Bernard Gui Posted October 9, 2014 Author Posted October 9, 2014 (edited) The Beautician's hymn: There is Beauty All AroundThe UFO Investigator's hymn: 'Twas Witnessed in the Morning Sky and What Was Witnessed in the Heavens?The Nobel Prize Selection Committee's hymn: Where Can I Turn for Peace? Edited October 9, 2014 by Bernard Gui
Calm Posted October 9, 2014 Posted October 9, 2014 (edited) Has there been an Electrician's hymn yet? One of these I suspect, but which is best (maybe "Shine on"?): https://www.lds.org/music/library/search?query=light&x=-1147&y=-245〈=eng Pregnant women: Ye Who Are Called to Labor Waitors: Called to Serve Insomniacs: Awake and Arise Edited October 9, 2014 by calmoriah
Bernard Gui Posted October 9, 2014 Author Posted October 9, 2014 Has there been an Electrician's hymn yet? One of these I suspect, but which is best (maybe "Shine on"?): https://www.lds.org/music/library/search?query=light&x=-1147&y=-245〈=eng Pregnant women: Ye Who Are Called to Labor Waitors: Called to Serve Insomniacs: Awake and AriseThat's the spirit!! These are great!
Calm Posted October 9, 2014 Posted October 9, 2014 (edited) Now We'll Sing with One Accord... Car dealer? Add this to the weather reporter's list: The Wintry Day, Descending to Its Close Beauty contestant: Let Zion in Her Beauty Rise also O Savior, Thou Who Wearest a CrownCampers (or tent city enthusiasts) : Come, All Ye Saints Who Dwell on EarthDry Cleaners and Laundry people: Press Forward, SaintsAirplane passenger: Jesus, Savior, Pilot MeCows: The Lord My Pasture Will PreparePsychologists: Come, Ye DisconsolatePastry chef: Sweet Is the WorkOldtime lamplighter: Now the Day Is Over also As the Shadows FallBBQ Lighter makers : 'Tis Sweet To Sing the Matchless LoveMaster of Ceremonies: O Lord of HostsChessplayer: Again We Meet around the BoardEstate Executors: Thy Will, O Lord, Be DoneEaster bunny of course: That Easter Morn Your example, The Bus Driver's hymn: Does the Journey Seem Long?, works but strikes me more as part of the conversation between parents with 3 or more kids in the back seats of the minivan. Also The Medium's hymn: A Voice Has Spoken from the Dust…I prefer the parent trying to get their kid to clean their room. Pushing it... Racecar driver (alternate-Republicans): God Speed the RightSewer (or rather darner/mender): More Holiness Give Me Edited October 9, 2014 by calmoriah 1
strappinglad Posted October 10, 2014 Posted October 10, 2014 (edited) Bread makers hymn . " I need thee every hour" ( bad one, sorry ) Fireworks watchers hymn. " I stand all amazed " Airline passengers hymn. " Carry on " Edited October 10, 2014 by strappinglad 1
california boy Posted October 10, 2014 Posted October 10, 2014 The artist hymn - How Great Thou Art. 1
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