Under What Circumstances Would You Visit a Non-LDS Christian Church?

[BlueDreams]

i can't think of a reason why I wouldn't go to a different church. I've gone to several including a few non-christian services as well (really enjoyed the hare krishna temple for the shared vegetarian meal at the end :D). I like learning about other faiths and practices and participating in them to a limited degree (for what's appropriate as a non-member of their congregations). I haven't gone to one in a while, but plan on doing so with my kids from time to time to have them be more aware of other people's means and desire for worship.

 I can understand why people don't. I think some can get wrapped into their ward's world of activities, programs, and other events happening with their kiddos and that's often quite enough for a lot of families....it can become insular though if left unchecked and they forget to look outside their circles. 

 

With luv,

BD

[Tacenda]

7 hours ago, mfbukowski said:

I do it fairly regularly.

My whole family is Catholic.  There are no converts in your whole Ward? No wonder it is a little different.

We have had Outreach programs with a number of black churches in our area. I love The Rockin and Rollin and singing and clapping.

I have been to several funerals in non-denominational Christian churches and everyone was crying like crazy, weeping and wailing.

Our funerals are extremely tame compared to pretty much all others that I have attended from other churches, had tell him to be more celebrations of life than anything else.

No, there are no prohibitions against such visiting. But Utah is a nation as to itself so who knows what they do in Utah.  

You need to visit a real-life mixed American Ward, full of diversity.

If you ever get to L A let me know. You will see every nationality.

We actually have to do our stake conferences in three different languages.

My sister married into a Catholic family, and I got to experience some things because of it. Like her husband's mother, who when we went to lunch, my mom, sister and I. She had an ash mark on her forehead because it was Ash Wednesday, that was a first for me, never saw that before. I lived in a bubble in a mostly LDS town in Utah. She was a wonderful lady, really loved her.

Later I attended my BIL's father's funeral, it was a Rosary funeral, with the incense and holy water and the reciting of prayers, a first for me as well.

And my niece's Catholic wedding where we, the congregation, were instructed to stand and sit and stand and sit as part of the ceremony with prayers as well, I believe. It took place in the beautiful San Carlos Cathedral in Carmel by the Sea! Try that with a mother that had Alzheimer's, we took mom everywhere with us that were important family events.

And then later my BIL's mother's funeral a couple of years ago, very sweet was impressed with this funeral, she was cremated, so first for that as well.

The only bad taste I got in my mouth was when my sister and her soon to be husband had to meet with his Catholic Priest to get permission? can't remember, and how he acted really awful, he had this cigar he was smoking and had his feet up on the desk and wasn't too happy that Steve, my BIL, was marrying a Mormon, or outside the faith. Anyway, my sister told me how different he was compared to our sweet LDS bishop at the time, who eventually performed the ceremony in our chapel, don't know if they allow that anymore. But I'll chalk it up to it being the person, not the Catholic church, so I shouldn't judge. 

Edited March 15, 2020 by Tacenda

[Bernard Gui]

8 hours ago, mfbukowski said:

I do it fairly regularly.

My whole family is Catholic.  There are no converts in your whole Ward? No wonder it is a little different.

We have had Outreach programs with a number of black churches in our area. I love The Rockin and Rollin and singing and clapping.

I have been to several funerals in non-denominational Christian churches and everyone was crying like crazy, weeping and wailing.

Our funerals are extremely tame compared to pretty much all others that I have attended from other churches, had tell him to be more celebrations of life than anything else.

No, there are no prohibitions against such visiting. But Utah is a nation as to itself so who knows what they do in Utah.  

You need to visit a real-life mixed American Ward, full of diversity.

If you ever get to L A let me know. You will see every nationality.

We actually have to do our stake conferences in three different languages.

Which LA ward, if you don’t mind me asking?

 

[Bernard Gui]

8 hours ago, Navidad said:

Hi Amigo - Just to clarify. I was indicating that I don't know of any converts in our Elders Quorum. I wasn't referring to the entire ward. Sorry for the confusion. In Elders Quorum everyone pretty much sits in the same seats every other week. As I go down the rows in my mind all I see are Turleys, Johnsons, Romneys, Calls, Hawkins, Romneys, did I mention Romneys, Taylors, Farnsworths, Forsgrens, Whettens, and more Whettens. Needless to say they are all many generation LDS! It is a homegrown bunch! 

What! No Osmonds? Any Guytans?

Edited March 15, 2020 by Bernard Gui

[MorningStar]

I dated a guy who went to a different church and went to his services multiples times until I saw anti-Mormon posters on the walls. They held classes to teach why our church is so wrong. He also told me not to tell anyone I was LDS because he could be kicked out of the music ministry. That was a big fat no. 

I have gone to my friend's Lutheran church many times - for her wedding, I sang with her choir for their Good Friday service, and other services too because I wanted to experience other celebrations. 

I've attended Catholic mass several times including for Christmas, plus funerals. 

I've gone to weddings at many other churches and sang at those weddings. 

I love to learn about other people's beliefs! Oh yes, our stake choir also attended an interfaith service at a Catholic church and it was one of my favorite experiences! 

[mfbukowski]

2 hours ago, Bernard Gui said:

Which LA ward, if you don’t mind me asking?

 

I will PM you.

[rpn]

I attended many Christian and non-Christian churches when I was running for office in the South.   I learned alot about a lot of different faiths and how much they believed in supporting good government and welcomed candidates of all political persuasions.   (Interestingly, the cultural  is largely in black churches.)  And since leaders of the restored Church of Jesus Christ eschew anything political in its meetings, very different from what I'm used to.

I've also attended events to support friends or just people who needed support, or celebrations of historical milestones  in many faith traditions.  

There is nothing wrong with and doesn't have to be anything uncomfortable about worshiping God with people who worship Him differently than you typically do.

Edited March 15, 2020 by rpn

[Bernard Gui]

So, to reverse the question, do you think LDS are more likely to attend the services or activities of another church than other religions are to attend services and activities of the LDS Church?
My experience is that they are not interested in attending our services and activities even if invited, under certainly not just out of curiosity.  How about you?

Edited March 15, 2020 by Bernard Gui

[CV75]

On 3/14/2020 at 2:03 PM, Navidad said:

That brought to my mind a question that I will ask of you all. Under what circumstances and/or situation would you attend a service or event or perhaps allow your child to visit the same in a non-LDS church or private school? Under what circumstances would you not? 

***

Is there any guidance or advice from the hierarchy on attending or participating in non-LDS services? Thanks for your participation in this thread. I am making no presuppositions about what your answers will be. I know our bishop and patriarch have gone to Mennonite gatherings in our broad area. So I am not assuming or looking for validation of anything. Thanks again

I would attend for special, meaningful occasions as long as it didn't disrupt prior commitments. In this sense I consider my involvement to be on a par with a social engagement consistent with Sabbath observance (including getting the ox out of the mire!), though i would also participate in the spirit as much as practicable.

No instructions that I am aware of in the General Handbook.

[mfbukowski]

On 3/14/2020 at 3:31 PM, Navidad said:

Hi Amigo - Just to clarify. I was indicating that I don't know of any converts in our Elders Quorum. I wasn't referring to the entire ward. Sorry for the confusion.

Yeahbut...

All the men in the ward are in the Elder's Quorum.  At least all the active ones.

That means no converts in the Ward perhaps?  Do you ever get new people with the missionaries in tow for their first introduction as "investigators" (I hate that term- they should wear a Sherlock Holmes hat and carry a magnifying glass....) ??

That is the procedure for proto-newbies. 

Also they would be introduced.  "Brethren we have Brother Nobodyspecial visiting our ward today- can all you from your famous families welcome him?"

I have to come visit your ward sometime.   This is driving me nuts- even more than usual.  

I drive between LA and Houston a couple of times a year....  🧐

 

[Calm]

2 minutes ago, mfbukowski said:

Yeahbut...

All the men in the ward are in the Elder's Quorum.  At least all the active ones.

That means no converts in the Ward perhaps?  Do you ever get new people with the missionaries in tow for their first introduction as "investigators" (I hate that term- they should wear a Sherlock Holmes hat and carry a magnifying glass....) ??

That is the procedure for proto-newbies. 

Also they would be introduced.  "Brethren we have Brother Nobodyspecial visiting our ward today- can all you from your famous families welcome him?"

I have to come visit your ward sometime.   This is driving me nuts- even more than usual.  

I drive between LA and Houston a couple of times a year....  🧐

 

Some may be teaching in Primary or YMs and not present in class even if in EQ.

[Navidad]

11 minutes ago, mfbukowski said:

Yeahbut...

All the men in the ward are in the Elder's Quorum.  At least all the active ones.

That means no converts in the Ward perhaps?  Do you ever get new people with the missionaries in tow for their first introduction as "investigators" (I hate that term- they should wear a Sherlock Holmes hat and carry a magnifying glass....) ??

That is the procedure for proto-newbies. 

Also they would be introduced.  "Brethren we have Brother Nobodyspecial visiting our ward today- can all you from your famous families welcome him?"

I have to come visit your ward sometime.   This is driving me nuts- even more than usual.  

I drive between LA and Houston a couple of times a year....  🧐

 

Hey my friend - all the men in the ward may be in the Elders Quorum, but I can assure you we never have more than 25 attend the post sacrament meeting meeting!  They often have family members visiting from the states and my 25 number includes them. We have 2 sister missionaries in the ward and we greet them every week. They never have anyone with them, but remember we are an English speaking ward, so Spanish speaking investigators would go with them to the other ward which meets after ours. Come and visit us! It is a wonderful group of folks. I will personally introduce you as my investigator Polish friend from Los Angeles! Ha! 

[Islander]

On 3/14/2020 at 1:03 PM, Navidad said:

The Elders Quorum meeting of our small ward probably averages about 25 men a Sunday. Some time ago, in the teaching session the teacher asked the men how many of them had visited a church service of another Christian group and what was their experience? There was a connection to his question in the general conference talk we were discussing. One man raised his hand and indicated that he had gone to a wedding of one of his employees. Of course they all looked at me and laughed, stating I was the expert on that question! 

I suppose that being a convert to the Church places me in the category of having attended other churches. I came from a mostly pagan and nominally catholic country. When I came to the States I began a search that lasted some 7 years until I found the LDS church. I visited many churches and denominations during that time including a Jewish synagogue. I work with a very diverse group of people and have attended services at many different churches over the years. Other than the charismatic Pentecostal churches and Catholic church, which have very specific liturgy and ceremonies during their services and mass, most other services are straight forward. There is music which in most modern churches is different from ours but Lutheran and Episcopalian churches have also hymnals that date from the 19th century. Some have communion (sacrament) weekly, others monthly and so on. There is a message by the Pastor/priest and that is it. Now the church of the Brethren dates back to the 1700s and has a somewhat similar organization to the LDS Church. They have no paid ministry, no Pastor and only a council of Elders. Their assemblies mirror ours in the sense that anyone can stand and talk during their meetings and their music is also historically rooted with very similar hymns to ours (the score) but the letter varies. 

I would go to any church if invited by a close friend. It gives me an opportunity to show that I respect and honor his/her belief in God and it opens the door to talk about the Gospel, what we share in common belief and the additional truth and knowledge that has been revealed in these latter days. It also allows me to share my testimony of Christ as my Savior and Redeemer which is key as many still believe that we (LDS) are not Christians. 

[Hamba Tuhan]

On 3/15/2020 at 5:03 AM, Navidad said:

Under what circumstances and/or situation would you attend a service or event or perhaps allow your child to visit the same in a non-LDS church or private school?

Easy answer: if I'm invited and if it doesn't conflict with one of my own Church commitments. As a full-time missionary, my companion and I attended Saturday evening Catholic mass every week in one of my assigned areas. I previously worked for the Anglican Church, which involved attending a mass every Wednesday during work hours. I was repeatedly told, as a Christian, I was welcome to partake of the Eucharist, but I always politely declined. (I also enjoyed the services much more after our agnostic interim priest was finally replaced by one who actually believed in God!) When I was studying in America (and trying to sort out my own beliefs), I had to beg one of my baptist friends to take me with her to her Sunday school class and worship service. In the end, she agreed on the strict condition that I not open my mouth to anyone.

I also feel the same way about invitations to non-Christian services and events, by the way. As well, one of our local Muslim communities has been told they are welcome to use our chapel for gatherings that exceed the capacity of their temporary mosque. I would hope to attend any events they hold there.

When I was studying in Indonesia, my houseboy came home from his midweek Pentecostal Bible study one evening and asked if I could come fill in for their keyboardist, who had fallen sick. I said sure, but they didn't have any sheet music for me, and I don't play by ear, so my houseboy suggested I take the 'green book' he'd heard me singing from. I let the worship band thumb through my hymnbook and pick what they liked, and I have to say, I've never heard 'The Spirit of God' quite so rockin' before.

During my mid-semester break, I went with this same houseboy to his home village to get away from the city for a bit. I went with him one evening to a Pentecostal home service, attended by about 120 people and therefore held outdoors. The sermon was fantastic -- and would have been easily received in any Latter-day Saint sacrament meeting. In the middle of preaching, the pastor stopped, pointed to me, and said that the Spirit of God had just told him that everyone needed to hear my testimony of Jesus. I happily walked to the front and shared that. I was grateful for that opportunity!

[mfbukowski]

5 hours ago, Calm said:

Some may be teaching in Primary or YMs and not present in class even if in EQ.

Good point.  Yep that's where those converts belong.  😎

[mfbukowski]

4 hours ago, Navidad said:

Hey my friend - all the men in the ward may be in the Elders Quorum, but I can assure you we never have more than 25 attend the post sacrament meeting meeting!  They often have family members visiting from the states and my 25 number includes them. We have 2 sister missionaries in the ward and we greet them every week. They never have anyone with them, but remember we are an English speaking ward, so Spanish speaking investigators would go with them to the other ward which meets after ours. Come and visit us! It is a wonderful group of folks. I will personally introduce you as my investigator Polish friend from Los Angeles! Ha! 

I might actually take a jog south on my next road trip to Houston! 

[cherryTreez]

I went to church with my grandparents as a child. Then dad found out they were anti lds and put a stop to that. I went to church for my friend's rehearsal dinner and wedding. The leader of their church was super nice and we talked about the Bible and beliefs. Then he made a comment about the Mormon that was coming and how he was ready to teach them about the Jesus and how wrong they were. I laughed. I said I was the mormon. He told me that I couldn't believe the things that I had talked about that I didn't know what the church really taught. I walked away. 

I haven't had a good welcoming at any other church once they figure out that I am lds. I stopped going or trying.

[Navidad]

15 hours ago, Calm said:

Some may be teaching in Primary or YMs and not present in class even if in EQ.

Yes, that is certainly the case. 

[Navidad]

On 3/14/2020 at 11:32 PM, Bernard Gui said:

What! No Osmonds? Any Guytans?

Nope, none of them, but plenty of apples and peaches! 

[Navidad]

21 hours ago, Bernard Gui said:

So, to reverse the question, do you think LDS are more likely to attend the services or activities of another church than other religions are to attend services and activities of the LDS Church?
My experience is that they are not interested in attending our services and activities even if invited, under certainly not just out of curiosity.  How about you?

HI Bernard. Good question. Before I answer I simply want to affirm that I did not have an agenda in asking the question. I was truly simply curious as to what the response would be.

All I have is some anecdotal information. It is a question I ask often when I go a-speaking. I would also have to give you different answers for Mexico and the US. Here, I would give a certain answer that LDS and non-LDS Christians would be equally uncomfortable going to any meeting of the other. The only exceptions I can think of are the annual Christmas concert, it is very well attended by all. Once in a while the Anglo Mormons and Anglo Mennonites get together for one reason or another, usually music. Probably less than 5% of Mennonites here are Mestizo. Probably 5% or less of the Mormons are Anglo. There is much economic interaction between Anglo Mormons and Mennonites and the men share a mutual love of rodeos. The rodeo is the great common denominator for men. I have never heard of women from the two groups getting together.

There is a Mormon pavilion every year at the huge cultural festival. I serve on the organizing committee along with some Anglo Mormon friends and our observation is that very few non-Mormon Mexicans go near their pavilion for fear of being proselytized. Everyone enjoys each other's food, especially in the Chinese pavilion. Often the LDS ladies bring and sell baked goods. Those tables are very well attended. Methinks food is a common denominator as well!

By the same token I sit on several historical committees in our two municipalities and I don't remember ever seeing an Anglo Mormon at one of our events unless it is commemorating something about Mormon history. Anglo Mennonites come more often, but still rarely. Neither Mennonites or Mormons seem very interested in Mexican Mestizo history. 

In the US it is quite rare that a non-LDS Christian has ever attended a LDS formal service. My experience is that many would go or have gone to a temple open house out of curiosity. My experience is that my question is likely to be answered with the recall of a negative experience, usually proselytizing-related or, if asked of a LDS member, it would elicit an anti-mormon-related memory. I regret that folks, whether LDS or non-LDS are well-armed with negative anecdotes about the other. Every time however someone non-LDS says they love the choir, Peter Hollens, or some other Mormon performers who they like.  They assure me they would go to a concert! I think the Osmonds have faded from that conversation. Very few, no more than I could count on one hand have indicated they have been to a Sunday LDS service in a ward. I do remember a youth pastor who took his youth group to a LDS ward for sacrament service and pot luck dinner after. They apparently had a great time. 

To wrap up my answer it has always been my experience in the eight or so years I have been consciously interacting with both groups physically (not just in books) that the disregard (I sat here for five minutes trying to think of the best non-inflammatory word) is equally divided and expressed by both. This is driven by mutual negative personal experiences shared about the other.

Much greater, however are the grossly inaccurate stereotypes of both groups freely held by the other. The activists on both sides are equally confident that they know more about the other than the other does. Perhaps this is what is meant in part by the Dunning-Kruger Effect, active and alive in both groups. This mutual and equal disregard is what I believe makes God cry. Of course members of both groups look at me with disbelief and scorn when I say that, and I have said it to both. Sorry for the too-long answer.

 

Edited March 16, 2020 by Navidad

[Navidad]

13 hours ago, mfbukowski said:

I might actually take a jog south on my next road trip to Houston! 

Come on Down! We'll take  you up into the mountains and show you the historic LDS sites! We will bring the bishop along with us and you can grill him about us all the way up and down the mountains! Wouldn't that be fun?

[Amulek]

On 3/14/2020 at 1:03 PM, Navidad said:

Under what circumstances and/or situation would you attend a service or event or perhaps allow your child to visit the same in a non-LDS church or private school? Under what circumstances would you not? 

I have attended lots of other churches over the years - though, admittedly, it isn't something that I have as much time for these days. 

It's probably been about six months since I last attended another church service. It was a weeknight service, and one of my coworkers (and her spouse) were sharing their testimony of how Christ was able to save their marriage. They now serve with their church's ministry which helps struggling couples deal with marriage problems. I stayed afterwards to attend one of their workshops and had a wonderful time participating in the discussion. 

I would say that the only circumstances / situations that would make me feel uncomfortable involve those where I might be perceived as accepting something as authoritative which I happen to not believe. For example, I have no problem attending Catholic mass, but I would not genuflect before the Blessed Sacrament. 

For my children, I would be a bit more protective - largely because kids are more swayed by peer pressure, and here in the South there is a sizable non-LDS majority when it comes to that front. So I would probably be more reticent to have them participate in activities outside their own church activities than I might normally be if I lived somewhere with more...religious parity. I don't want them to get caught up in the big budget and big programs offered by the 'big church.' Because I don't want my kids to be raised in the church - I want them to be raised in Christ. And once that foundation is secured, they can begin opening themselves up to other experiences and more clearly see what others truly have to offer. 

 

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Some examples that come to my mind:

Your neighbor's child is performing the lead to Aladdin in the auditorium of the local Catholic school which he attends. They invite you to come along to support their son. 

I would happily attend - even if their child wasn't the lead, and even though I don't especially care for Aladdin. I'm more of a Fiddler on the Roof kind of guy (Tradition!). 

 

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Your boss's daughter is getting married in the local Greek Orthodox church (chosen at random) and he invited you to attend.

I've been to lots of co-worker weddings, with as many varying denominational flavors as there were wedding cakes. 

None of which came close to topping my own, of course. 

 

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You are a bishop and are invited to attend a community inter-faith service or meeting

I would be willing to attend. However, given the public nature of the activity and my (hypothetical) calling in the church, I would likely counsel with my Stake President first rather than just making the decision to participate independently. 

 

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Your employee's daughter has a quinceanera mass in a Catholic church.

Quinceanera's are big here in Texas. That is a party not to be missed. 

 

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Your non-LDS daughter invites you to attend a special concert of some type at her Community of Christ church.

As long as it's a real concert and not one of those ridiculous bell choirs - I've been to way too many of those. 

Oh, and I also hate what passes as 'praise music' in most churches these days, so if it was a Christian rock concert that would definitely push the envelope, but I would stomach it and be supportive. 

 

[Damien the Leper]

On 3/14/2020 at 2:52 PM, mfbukowski said:

I try to go every year. But at least I watch it on TV

I love the Latin mass, if you can find one.  Gregorian chant is the best!

I love the Mass at Mater Misericordiae (FSSP) in DTPHX. Our Lady of Sorrows (SSPX) has a beautiful Mass but some teachings there stop me from attending as often.

[mfbukowski]

6 hours ago, Valentinus said:

I love the Mass at Mater Misericordiae (FSSP) in DTPHX. Our Lady of Sorrows (SSPX) has a beautiful Mass but some teachings there stop me from attending as often.

Not familiar with those abbreviations 

[Navidad]

16 hours ago, Amulek said:

I would say that the only circumstances / situations that would make me feel uncomfortable involve those where I might be perceived as accepting something as authoritative which I happen to not believe. For example, I have no problem attending Catholic mass, but I would not genuflect before the Blessed Sacrament. 

Neither would I do that. That brings me to the sacrament in the LDS service. My wife and I participate in that every week. Some on this forum have suggested that we should not "out of respect." I do not understand that. The mode and method are virtually identical. As far as I can tell, the message is the same. We reflect on the covenants we made at our baptisms. We take the elements in remembrance of Christ. It is a sacred part of our worship and sanctification. The church allows, yeh seems to encourage it. I would love to hear your collective thoughts on this. To my knowledge, there is nothing in the mode, method, or message of the LDS sacrament with which we disagree. Where we sit we never pass it through our hands to a member of the church. The elements go straight back to the young priesthood holder.