I suffered from secondary . I lost pregnancy after pregnancy. Then one stuck. She was our miracle. The baby we prayed for and tried for years to have. Then she died. I was broken. I doubted everything. I didnt know what was what. The only thing that I knew was that my loving children needed me.
I met grieving parents who blamed God. They thought he made their child die. I couldnt understand that. I believe he allowed them to die but he didnt make them die. He allows nature to do what nature does. Can He interfere and can things? Yes. But He isn't up there making bad things happen to us. He allows bad things to happen and then can make good things happen after bad things.
I will be broken for my life because I will always be missing one of my children. I am forever changed because of each of my children. Wether or not I get to raise them. They changed me. My Faith is that we were sent here to learn, to be challenged, we have to prove to ourselves that we can do things.
I remember my dad holding me as I sobbed after my daughter's death. He held me and let me talk when I needed too, he was quiet when I needed that as well. He cried but stood by in quiet support. I think Our Heavenly Father is very much the same. He let's us lead. He stands by and watches us. He waits for us to ask for help and helps when He can.