Okrahomer Posted September 21, 2015 Author Posted September 21, 2015 I thought that was a John Kerry joke.Oh, wow! That's way better! I will amend.
strappinglad Posted September 22, 2015 Posted September 22, 2015 I was going to post this in another thread but it is more suitable here. When someone gets removed from a thread , and feel hurt, they probably could use a " banned aid " . Ya , I know, lame. Speaking of lame, true story , I was operated on by two doctors. A Dr. Hopp worked on my knee and a Dr. Killem worked on my .... let's just say ... nether region. 1
Calm Posted September 22, 2015 Posted September 22, 2015 (edited) I had a Dr. Moody diagnosed me first with depression (he was wrong). He was also an Elvis impersonator. My ob/gyn is a Doctor Young. 3 out of 4 appointments have been interrupted by him having to go deliver babies.The doctor who helped me a great deal through his book with my sleep disorder, is Dr. Dement, number one authority on sleep disorders....name is appropriate since sleep deprivation is known to lead to psychotic behaviour. His students have a fun website here:http://www.end-your-sleep-deprivation.com/ Edited September 22, 2015 by Calm 1
saemo Posted September 22, 2015 Posted September 22, 2015 (edited) Did you hear the one about the guy who walked into the bar? He forgot to duck.M.R. DucksM.R. NotO.S.M.R.C.M. Wangs?L.I.B.M.R. Ducks!! Edited September 22, 2015 by saemo
Stargazer Posted September 22, 2015 Posted September 22, 2015 True story: I once knew a veterinarian whose name was Fixx. The other vet in his practice was Killum. Now, who would you take your pet to? Dr. Fixx or Dr. Killum? 1
strappinglad Posted September 22, 2015 Posted September 22, 2015 There is a dentist in our area with the name , Dr. Payne. Not sure what his patient load is. 2
longview Posted September 22, 2015 Posted September 22, 2015 Do you know the name of the first dentist to walk the streets of SLC? Parley P. Plaque 2
Okrahomer Posted September 27, 2015 Author Posted September 27, 2015 Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis. 4
Garden Girl Posted September 29, 2015 Posted September 29, 2015 Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath.This made him a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis. When I noticed you had posted something new here, I let it sit for several days...I just now read the above... and I actually did laugh... GG 1
Kenngo1969 Posted September 29, 2015 Posted September 29, 2015 The last time there was an opening for Pope, one of the leading candidates from the College of Cardinals was James Cardinal Lefkiewicz. The Cardinal has a rather interesting background. Before he committed to the ministry, he served as an F-4 Phantom pilot in the Vietnam Conflict, flying several missions. It was in Vietnam that he contracted the condition known as purpura, which results in the appearance of purple blotches on the skin. Refusing to allow his unusual appearance to interfere with dedicated service to his country, however, the Cardinal-to-be continued flying regular sorties during the conflict, and it was on one of these missions in the F-4 that his plane was shot down and he was severely injured, losing sight in one eye and having an arm amputated. For a time, his very survival was in question. As such, the Cardinal committed that if he survived, he would dedicate his life to God. He survived, and was true to his promise, entering the ministry and gradually rising in the ranks to his current position of Cardinal. Though his service to his country was ended (perhaps prematurely) by his severe injuries, he refused to allow those injuries to interfere with his love of flying, and miraculously, he continued to qualify as a pilot of small aircraft. Word out of the College of Cardinals following the selection of Pope Francis was that Cardinal Lefkiewicz was given serious consideration for the faith's top post. The cardinals, however, determined that the world simply wasn't ready for a One-Eyed, One-Armed, Flying Purple Papal Leader. 4
Rain Posted September 29, 2015 Posted September 29, 2015 (edited) Edit: I accidentally posted here, but I have no idea how. Edited September 29, 2015 by Rain
Okrahomer Posted September 29, 2015 Author Posted September 29, 2015 Edit: I accidentally posted here, but I have no idea how.Rain: Resistance is futile! 1
Okrahomer Posted September 29, 2015 Author Posted September 29, 2015 When I noticed you had posted something new here, I let it sit for several days...I just now read the above... and I actually did laugh... GGHaha! I'm glad you enjoy some of them. 1
Rivers Posted September 30, 2015 Posted September 30, 2015 A school teacher once asked a student to say a sentence using three colors. The student replied: "The telephone green and I pink it up and say 'yellow'! 2
Okrahomer Posted October 7, 2015 Author Posted October 7, 2015 A wife suggests her husband try acupuncture to relieve some chronic pain. He indicates that while he is willing to give it a try, he is fearful of the needles. Her response: "That's the point of it--acupuncture is a jab well done." 1
Okrahomer Posted October 7, 2015 Author Posted October 7, 2015 A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail. 1
Okrahomer Posted October 10, 2015 Author Posted October 10, 2015 From the business section:"Economic experts report that while cactus sales have spiked, aquarium sales have tanked."
strappinglad Posted October 10, 2015 Posted October 10, 2015 Why did the chicken cross the road? To watch a man lay bricks! 1
Rivers Posted October 11, 2015 Posted October 11, 2015 Why did the chicken cross the road? To watch a man lay bricks!I don't get it. 1
strappinglad Posted October 11, 2015 Posted October 11, 2015 Chickens lay eggs. The Hen wanted to see the phenomenon of a man laying bricks.
Garden Girl Posted October 11, 2015 Posted October 11, 2015 Chickens lay eggs. The Hen wanted to see the phenomenon of a man laying bricks. Oooohhhh, now I get it... actually, that's funny... GG
ERayR Posted October 11, 2015 Posted October 11, 2015 Oooohhhh, now I get it... actually, that's funny... GG But almost too subtle. 1
Okrahomer Posted October 11, 2015 Author Posted October 11, 2015 From a devout Catholic friend of mine:How does one make holy water? Boil the hell out of it!
Okrahomer Posted October 11, 2015 Author Posted October 11, 2015 I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He claims he can stop at any time. 1
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