ERayR Posted October 21, 2015 Posted October 21, 2015 (edited) A cow jumping over a barb wire fence is utter udder destruction. Your welcome. Edited October 21, 2015 by ERayR
jkwilliams Posted October 21, 2015 Posted October 21, 2015 A man was having dental problems and had to have a small steel plate inserted in his mouth. A week later he noticed the plate was starting to rust. The dentist asked him if he had a change in his eating or drinking habits that may have caused the problem. My friend explained that he had tried hollandaise sauce for the first time recently and liked it so much he put it on everything. The dentist advised that the solution was to remove the steel plate and replace it with a chrome plate. When my friend asked why chrome, the dentist replied, "There's no plate like chrome for the hollandaise!" 4
strappinglad Posted October 21, 2015 Posted October 21, 2015 A French pun? Nope. Let's just say you'll need an oar to work it out. Pas de le Rhone que nous.
Garden Girl Posted October 21, 2015 Posted October 21, 2015 A French pun? Nope. Let's just say you'll need an oar to work it out.Pas de le Rhone que nous. Ya got me... I thought I had part of it... Am I just dense? GG
strappinglad Posted October 21, 2015 Posted October 21, 2015 Here is a way to say yes and mean no. It's a stretch but worth it if you are talking to the Bishop. yes--oui--we--nous--new--neuf--nine--nein--no
strappinglad Posted October 21, 2015 Posted October 21, 2015 Ya got me... I thought I had part of it... Am I just dense? GGread the phrase in French and think in English.
Garden Girl Posted October 21, 2015 Posted October 21, 2015 Okay strapping... this had better be good because I just can't seem to do it... even your example puzzled me... GG 1
jkwilliams Posted October 21, 2015 Posted October 21, 2015 Why do they never serve two eggs for breakfast in France? Because one is an oeuf. 3
Rivers Posted October 22, 2015 Posted October 22, 2015 I was knew a nun that sleep walked. She was a roamin Catholic! 2
Garden Girl Posted October 22, 2015 Posted October 22, 2015 Paddle her own canoe . I had the "canoe" part (que nous)... but not the first part... GG
Garden Girl Posted October 22, 2015 Posted October 22, 2015 Stranger: Did you catch any fish today?Fisherman: Did I ! I took thirty out of this stream this morning.Stranger: Do you know who I am? I'm the game warden...Fisherman: Do you know who I am? I'm the biggest liar in the country... GG 1
Stargazer Posted October 23, 2015 Posted October 23, 2015 Zwei Unterseebooten schwammen in dem Marsch herum. Das Eine trafte das Andere und sagte: Na? Das Andere antwortete: Na und? This was the best German joke I ran into on my mission. The trouble is, it is only funny in German. If you translate it into English it not only isn't funny, it makes no sense whatsoever. However, I first heard it when I was about 3/4s through with my mission, and my German was pretty good by that point. So when I heard it I laughed out loud at it. In fact, it's still funny. The trouble is, I have no idea WHY it's funny. It's one of those big mysteries that you just have to accept because there's no answer. I don't even think a native German could explain it. An oddity of the language. Oh, you want a translation anyway? OK, here goes: Two submarines were swimming around in the marsh.One met the other and said: So?The other answered: So What? Do you get it, or do I have to explain it? 1
Garden Girl Posted October 23, 2015 Posted October 23, 2015 (edited) Zwei Unterseebooten schwammen in dem Marsch herum. Das Eine trafte das Andere und sagte: Na? Das Andere antwortete: Na und? Oh, you want a translation anyway? OK, here goes: Two submarines were swimming around in the marsh.One met the other and said: So?The other answered: So What? Do you get it, or do I have to explain it? Tell me it doesn't mean like.... So? Sew What? GG Edited October 23, 2015 by Garden Girl 2
saemo Posted October 24, 2015 Posted October 24, 2015 It is a fact, you eat over a ton of dirt every day! 2
strappinglad Posted October 24, 2015 Posted October 24, 2015 It is a fact, you eat over a ton of dirt every day! Actually I usually eat over my lap. 2
Stargazer Posted October 24, 2015 Posted October 24, 2015 Tell me it doesn't mean like.... So? Sew What? GG No, sorry, no word tricks. It's not a word play, in the original language. It's ... just funny.
Stargazer Posted October 24, 2015 Posted October 24, 2015 It is a fact, you eat over a ton of dirt every day! Nice one!
saemo Posted October 24, 2015 Posted October 24, 2015 (edited) When stopped at a railroad crossing, how can you easily determine if a train has passed by recently?You can see its tracks. Edited October 24, 2015 by saemo 1
Rivers Posted October 24, 2015 Posted October 24, 2015 (edited) I have the smartest dog in the world. I asked her to tell me the answer to 1,364 subratced by 1,364. She said nothing. Edited October 24, 2015 by Rivers 1
strappinglad Posted October 26, 2015 Posted October 26, 2015 What did the American Buffalo say to her calf ? Bison 1
Okrahomer Posted October 27, 2015 Author Posted October 27, 2015 A lot of money is tainted. 'Taint yours and it taint mine. 1
Okrahomer Posted October 28, 2015 Author Posted October 28, 2015 Q: What do you get when you mix a canary with a lawnmower?A: Shredded tweet. 2
strappinglad Posted October 28, 2015 Posted October 28, 2015 Here's one from elementary school days. What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhinoceros ?
Garden Girl Posted October 28, 2015 Posted October 28, 2015 Here's one from elementary school days. What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhinoceros ? Yes?? GG
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