General Conference Thoughts

[Stargazer]

56 minutes ago, MustardSeed said:

I was in Portland after all.

That explains a lot. My brother lives there, and every time I visit I have to brace myself. Powell Books used to be one of my favorite shopping places, but I stay away from the downtown area now. And the only Ham radio store in the Pacific Northwest is just south of there. It's where I used to buy my radios and stuff. Before I moved to the UK.

ETA: Just thought of this. You could say instead "Gesundheit!" That's nice and neutral. It might make it harder for the sneezer to be offended, while still offering a form of blessing.

See, there I go again, offering a solution to a problem you didn't ask for.

 

Edited September 30, 2023 by Stargazer

[CV75]

1 hour ago, Maestrophil said:

Did they just put out an audition call?  Haven’t seen such variety ever in conference. Love it. 

They are the extras from a Church scripture filming that couldn't find a ride home this weekend.

[Stargazer]

14 hours ago, Calm said:

Then why use the guilt example which implies there is something the person who feels hurt has done wrong, something besides their mere existence?

I'm just trying to engage in the conversation. Guilt hurts, as I've discovered. And guilt also causes offense, as I have also experienced. Ever get angry because someone bopped you in a place where you felt guilt, and hurt your feelings? I have.

Some of these things have only come up in my remembrance as a result of this thread. I'm quite uncomfortable about it all at this moment. I felt like I unexpectedly stubbed my toe on Juliann, and now I'm posting in the hope I don't inadvertently kick someone else, while trying my best to explain myself. It's like I'm a cat in a room filled with rocking chairs. 

And earlier my wife chewed me out for leaving the kitchen while I was frying potatoes, and now she's mad at me. 

Can't catch a break today. 

Hey, I took my drone out before Conference and got some videos of the cliffs near Brighton! Wanna see?

 

Edited October 1, 2023 by Stargazer
Had to reupload video due to an error. So fixed the post with the new video link.

[bluebell]

25 minutes ago, Stargazer said:

A granddaughter of mine died at 3 months of SIDS. I carried her dead body from her mother's arms to the coroner. Should I get hurt or offended anytime someone talks about SIDS? I know people who get that way, who are triggered by anything that reminds them of that negative experience, no matter the context sometimes. 

I think you are focusing on the wrong thing.  It's not that anyone should get hurt, it's that people do get hurt.  Whether they want to or not and whether they "should" or not.  Sometimes the hurt is more reasonably caused by an outside influence than others, but either way (like MS said) hurt is hurt.  

Telling someone they shouldn't be hurt when they sincerely are is one of the most useless things most of us can do.  It's like telling someone not to bleed.  Whether they cut themselves or were cut by someone else, the wound exists and telling someone to stop bleeding on you and others (or worse, implying that they should repent for being wounded) is a useless and uncharitable reaction.

I know you are coming to this discussion from a specific perspective--one that focuses on personal responsibility and that angle.  That perspective can be helpful but in my experience, it is really mostly helpful when we apply it to ourselves.  It's almost impossible to apply to others.  I think that can only really be done successfully by someone who is led by the spirit to help in specific instances.  And not really on a message board.

[Stargazer]

29 minutes ago, bluebell said:

I think you are focusing on the wrong thing.  It's not that anyone should get hurt, it's that people do get hurt.  Whether they want to or not and whether they "should" or not.  Sometimes the hurt is more reasonably caused by an outside influence than others, but either way (like MS said) hurt is hurt.  

Telling someone they shouldn't be hurt when they sincerely are is one of the most useless things most of us can do.  It's like telling someone not to bleed.  Whether they cut themselves or were cut by someone else, the wound exists and telling someone to stop bleeding on you and others (or worse, implying that they should repent for being wounded) is a useless and uncharitable reaction.

I know you are coming to this discussion from a specific perspective--one that focuses on personal responsibility and that angle.  That perspective can be helpful but in my experience, it is really mostly helpful when we apply it to ourselves.  It's almost impossible to apply to others.  I think that can only really be done successfully by someone who is led by the spirit to help in specific instances.  And not really on a message board.

I shall consider your words carefully.

The other problem is that some people talk about their problems just to be heard, and I hasten to add that there's nothing wrong with that. But others hear the problems and believe solutions are being requested, and so try to offer some. Thus they work at cross-purposes, and one is offended, thinking they haven't been heard, while the other is offended hearing their solution/advice inexplicably rejected out of hand. 

I met with the missionaries and a contact the other day. The contact expressed a concern addressing the classical "problem of evil." Instead of sympathising with his concern in a show of emotional support, I basically gave a shortened form of Pres. Oaks' talk that he gave today. He had a problem. I tried to "fix" it. I may have succeeded. Or I may have annoyed him. He didn't seem annoyed. 

Maybe I should work harder 🤔  to determine my interlocutors' goals in expressing their concerns, and only offer "fixes" or advice if that is what is wanted. And only offer emotional support if that is what is wanted.

Or restrict myself to topics dealing with facts, not feelings.

I am coming across to myself as quite passive-aggressive at the moment.

Edited September 30, 2023 by Stargazer

[Rain]

Today I went to a trauma conference about refugees.  One of the first things we learned is that what you feel isn't wrong. It's just what you feel.  

Another thing we learned was about events, experiences and effects.  Because we all have different experiences in the past our experiences during events will be different as well which also changes the effect of it all.

It's ok to experience conference in different ways.  

 

[Stargazer]

8 minutes ago, Rain said:

Today I went to a trauma conference about refugees.  One of the first things we learned is that what you feel isn't wrong. It's just what you feel.  

Another thing we learned was about events, experiences and effects.  Because we all have different experiences in the past our experiences during events will be different as well which also changes the effect of it all.

It's ok to experience conference in different ways.  

 

No it isn't! One must experience it MY way!

💣 🤪🤣

Sorry. Couldn't help myself. You're absolutely 💯 correct.

[bluebell]

15 minutes ago, Rain said:

One of the first things we learned is that what you feel isn't wrong. It's just what you feel.

 

Such an important thing to learn. 

[Stargazer]

19 minutes ago, Rain said:

One of the first things we learned is that what you feel isn't wrong. It's just what you feel.  

I would like to agree with this. And I do.

But (here it comes), how one reacts to that feeling might be wrong. It's kind of where the rubber meets the road in some cases.

[blackstrap]

Joseph was familiar with the tendency of folks to " shatter like glass " at new ideas or old traditions . Today it is called " triggered" . Some people have a hair trigger while others have theirs well rusted. 

[bluebell]

1 hour ago, MustardSeed said:

I think if someone is hurt or offended by a story that someone shares and that is their right to feel hurt or offended. It doesn’t necessarily mean that anyone needs to change anything.
 

I think the underlined part is so important to realize as well. 

[JAHS]

1 hour ago, Stargazer said:

Should I get hurt or offended anytime someone talks about SIDS?

Having had a SIDS daughter I don't feel hurt when someone brings up the subject, but I do remember the pain and trauma I felt when it happened. 

[juliann]

1 hour ago, Calm said:

Then why use the guilt example which implies there is something the person who feels hurt has done wrong, something besides their mere existence?

Because that was his purpose. I've never understood those who think it elevates them to label people who don't share their opinions as "offended." It is an insult meant to silence, not understand. 

[Tacenda]

I must be out of the loop. Currently watching the evening conference. Earlier I had wondered if it's the women's conference or the PH session. Well, then I googled it and saw that back in 2021 Saturday evening conferences were discontinued. So I feel really dumb to ask but is this how it will be from now on? A combined PH/Women's conference or what's up?

[Rain]

13 minutes ago, Tacenda said:

I must be out of the loop. Currently watching the evening conference. Earlier I had wondered if it's the women's conference or the PH session. Well, then I googled it and saw that back in 2021 Saturday evening conferences were discontinued. So I feel really dumb to ask but is this how it will be from now on? A combined PH/Women's conference or what's up?

It seems to vary.  They announce if and what it will be awhile before.

Edited October 1, 2023 by Rain

[Ragerunner]

3 hours ago, Maestrophil said:

I missed the make up of this choir in the Saturday afternoon session.  Who are these people?  I am so excited to see beards and variet of hair, color, ages, etc.  

It was amazing. Loved it.

[Ragerunner]

2 hours ago, The Nehor said:

So did that choir just legalize facial hair?

We could only hope.

[Tacenda]

10 minutes ago, Rain said:

It seems to vary.  They announce if and what awhile before.

Thanks! It's been my favorite out of the three so far!

[Rain]

Sister Runia's talk went right along with another thing I heard today, "connect before you correct".  

And sometimes that means you won't actually need to correct.

[Tacenda]

6 minutes ago, Rain said:

Sister Runia's talk went right along with another thing I heard today, "connect before you correct".  

And sometimes that means you won't actually need to correct.

Yes, it was awesome. And then she said something I really wish I could have remembered. Something like don't go too fast by yourself, but go together or something like that. Can you remember it, or what I'm talking about? I'm glad it will come out in a transcript thank goodness. And the gentleman's talk right before her was great, and down to earth. And Sister Runia's wasn't in a "Primary voice". Not that it would have changed how I feel about what she said. 

[Ginger Snaps]

Sister Runia’s talk was incredible. 

[juliann]

Just now, Ginger Snaps said:

Sister Runia’s talk was incredible. 

And her delivery was incredible!

[Ginger Snaps]

Just now, juliann said:

And her delivery was incredible!

It was really refreshing!  Her personality shone through. 

[Okrahomer]

4 minutes ago, Tacenda said:

And then she said something I really wish I could have remembered. Something like don't go too fast by yourself, but go together or something like that. Can you remember it, or what I'm talking about?

“If you want to go fast, go alone: if you want to go far, go together.”

She seems to be have been quoting an African proverb.

 

[Rain]

I'm sorry I keep talking about my conference.  It keeps connecting.  With the last talk about cultures it reminded me again of things said.

Many of the Ukrainians are leaving to US and going back to Ukraine where they would still be in danger because they feel the US people think they are better than them.

Also, we really have to be careful with cultural practices.  A Ethiopian woman spoke of experiences with Ethiopian refugees in her church.  When they were asked to close their eyes during prayer it for some reason had them reliving their trauma. 

There is just so much that is just cultural and not something that is right or wrong or "of God".  We need to recognize when something is just cultural.