Is it ever appropriate to be angry?

[Fether]

23 minutes ago, Calm said:

Gut reactions can be quite positive, like feeling love at the sight of your spouse or children. 

Correct. I wasn’t meaning gut reactions in general, I was meaning just gut reactions like anger, lust, jealousy etc.

[Calm]

21 minutes ago, Fether said:

Correct. I wasn’t meaning gut reactions in general, I was meaning just gut reactions like anger, lust, jealousy etc.

If they are negative, definitely.  But I used “gut reactions” first  .  I mentioned they could be positive because I didn’t want there to be confusion over what I meant (see post linked below if necessary to refresh memory) as I was speaking generally.  A righteous person will likely have more positive gut reactions than an evil person and I suppose someone at god level would only have positive, godly gut reactions…but I think even God is righteous because he chooses to do right.  Perhaps he can’t bear the thought of doing wrong himself because he understands the pain it will cause others, but he certainly understands it is a possible choice and rejects it in my view.

https://www.mormondialogue.org/topic/74482-is-it-ever-appropriate-to-be-angry/?do=findComment&comment=1210090659

 

Edited April 18, 2022 by Calm

[Chum]

8 hours ago, Fether said:

So in this case, his feeling of anger is a sin? What separates a feeling of anger that is a son And isn’t?

I'd offer that the sin is the husband being a putz.  It sounds like his wife brings this kind of housekeeping to the table - day after day - and he risks a meltdown the one day she can't pull it off. Seriously. Our fictional husband can go die in a hole. Alone.

Some anger turned his way seems pretty reasonable. Maybe he'd get the therapy he's long overdue for and become a better husband.

Edited April 18, 2022 by Chum

[MustardSeed]

6 hours ago, Fether said:

Just another example

two men. Both come home to the same messy house and no dinner done. One husband is momentarily angry, but practices exercises and quickly overcomes that anger and helps out. The second husband feels no anger and just jumps to helping.

Is the second husband any more righteous or closer to what God wants out of us as his children?

If so, would you classify the first husband’s initial reaction as a sin? Or perhaps just a weakness?

My son used to come home to a messy house and no food with a wife who had no children and no job.  He never felt angry and just did it all himself. He’s now divorced because she was not happy. 

IMO he could have used a little bit of anger.  Anger says, “something here is amiss”. 

[Robert F. Smith]

15 hours ago, Fether said:

Im not just talking about common situations where someone harms us or our kids are loud in sacrament meeting. I want to go to the extremes where someone maliciously harms us in an extreme way, or some atrocity is committed. 

I have the opinion that, though it may be understandable and that there may be good reason, it is never appropriate to be angry...............................

Angry is not the same as violent.  Anger is a state of mind which may or may not be called for.  Is righteous indignation ever called for?  If you are physically assaulted, or one of your loved ones is physically attacked, should you remain calm and unperturbed?  Take no defensive action?  When a jolt of adrenaline has hit you due to some emergency, what are you expected to do?  Just roll over and play dead?

Are you recommending the attitude and behavior of complete pacifism?  Is that what God wants?

[Fether]

5 hours ago, Robert F. Smith said:

Angry is not the same as violent.  Anger is a state of mind which may or may not be called for.  Is righteous indignation ever called for?  If you are physically assaulted, or one of your loved ones is physically attacked, should you remain calm and unperturbed?  Take no defensive action?  When a jolt of adrenaline has hit you due to some emergency, what are you expected to do?  Just roll over and play dead?

Are you recommending the attitude and behavior of complete pacifism?  Is that what God wants?

My hypothesis is that one can execute all needed actions for m those dire situations without becoming angry. 
 

There have been a handful of times where I have seen an injustice of some sort. I haven’t gotten angry but I demand something changes, is fixed, or stopped. On some occasions I have stepped in and stopped it myself. For example, if I see my daughter smack her brother because he took a toy, I don’t get angry, I don’t even feel the emotion of anger, I say “absolutely not, I need you to go sit in your room until you are ready to say sorry and be kind”. Or when a person I know deeply came to me and said “if you want to stay in my life, you need to leave the church”. I wasn’t in the least bit angry, but so recognized the injustice and irrationality of the person and said “friend, that is deeply inappropriate to ask of me and frankly is extremely arrogant. I would never ask you to do anything like that, so what is causing you to ask it if me?”

Can such examples be replicated on more serious events? If so, would not be the more holier approach?

On a more anecdotal side, if you watch those secret agent action movies (Bourne trilogy, Mission Impossible, 007, etc), there are many scenes where they are beating up a bunch of bad guys. They don’t look angry, they are just executing. Additionally, in fighting sports, becoming angry can be a hinderance to your ability to execute.

Edited April 18, 2022 by Fether

[Fether]

7 hours ago, MustardSeed said:

My son used to come home to a messy house and no food with a wife who had no children and no job.  He never felt angry and just did it all himself. He’s now divorced because she was not happy. 

IMO he could have used a little bit of anger.  Anger says, “something here is amiss”. 

A little bit of anger would have surely been helpful in that situation. But Wouldn’t it have been a more holier approach had your son shared is concerns with his wife without becoming angry?

[BlueDreams]

1 hour ago, Fether said:

Can such examples be replicated on more serious events? If so, would not be the more holier approach?

I don’t understand the “more holier” aspect. I am well acquainted with anger….it’s been a companion of mine for much of my life. This has not been my experience. When I was a teen I had an anger problem. In rhetospect it came from an understandable place. I had little control of my life, was deeply insecure, and my household was growing more and more contentious. I wasn’t happy. But unfortunately because no one acknowledged or  taught me how to handle my anger, it bled out…everywhere. 
 

luckily I grew up, found a lot of Jesus, learned to not lash out most of the time, and when I was a missionary God “blessed” me by giving me a companion who reminded me of a the person a large part of my anger was tied to. For several weeks I felt rage that I knew wasn’t fully about her (though she was a bit of a difficult companion…not just for me). I didn’t want to acknowledge why I was feeling this. I didn’t want to acknowledge the feeling. But finally I did. For the first time in my life I told this companion the greatest pains of my early life. And when I did and it wasn’t rejected, dismissed, ignored, or minimized it finally dissipated (like it had been both by me and others). My heart could finally heal from the rage I’d tried much of my time post-conversion to suppress. God didn’t want me to act out in permanent rage, he didn’t want me to suppress the anger, he wanted me to understand what happened to me and why it was wrong. Understanding and experiencing my anger healthily was a part of that. 
Past this, I still get angry. Though far less from the things that used to hurt. I’ve acknowledged it, honored it, and made necessary boundaries so I’m no longer harmed by others poor actions. Now, it’s often in behalf of others who tell me their stories of injustice and deep pain and the dragon in my soul perks up to proclaim “that is not right!” And my anger is usually right. I don’t view my dragon as unholy, it is just a part of me that has a very specific message to share with me and the world. It actually helps one of my spiritual gifts of discernment. I’m really good at sniffing out abuse and unfairness in relationships. And I’m really good at helping others address it in relationships. That comes from learning how to channel my anger into healthiness. To me my anger has been consecrated. I’ve been able to give all that I have to the Lord and he has made it holy and good. My anger is not gone; it is directed to help others make the first painful steps of healing usually in abusive situations. I don’t ask for anger to go away any more than I do compassion or joy or sorrow or love. It is a part of me. And when I give myself to God, it is enough and made holy.
 

Note: the above experience of anger feels very different when I’m getting frustrated at my toddler for toddlering and I have to deep breath and pray for patience or take a minute to recollect. That is more an anger of tiredness and annoyance. That, I do have to curb and check in with myself to see what I’m needing to have a healthier response. I don’t assume that anger is the right Interaction to every experience. Other things that get people angry usually doesn’t for me now. Usually because I’ve learned to see the other side as a person or persons and don’t feel a need to paint them my enemy. 
 

i also still respond in anger to experiences of powerlessness in circumstances I have little control over. In that I have to work through the experiences, why it’s hurt so much that anger has come out this much, and heal my wounds. 
 

with luv, 
BD 

[Fether]

17 minutes ago, BlueDreams said:

I don’t understand the “more holier” aspect.

Would God prefer us to feel anger or not feel anger?

If a task can be executed without anger, should that not always be the goal?

Edited April 18, 2022 by Fether

[Chum]

10 hours ago, MustardSeed said:

My son used to come home to a messy house and no food with a wife who had no children and no job.  He never felt angry and just did it all himself. He’s now divorced because she was not happy. 

IMO he could have used a little bit of anger.  Anger says, “something here is amiss”. 

I may have been in your son's position (except kids, which I cared for). What you describe were our good days.

I found anger didn't work out as expected. It gave her power; she'd use that to try to draw more anger from me. I learned to cut her off emotionally and she eventually left.

Later, I saw a news guy interview her in her tent. She said she left because her family wouldn't listen to her. Well, yeah.

[BlueDreams]

59 minutes ago, Fether said:

Would God prefer us to feel anger or not feel anger?

If a task can be executed without anger, should that not always be the goal?

If there was a world where anger was never warranted (as in where there was no evil, things were equitable, and fairness/love reined in divine balance), I think God would prefer us have that world. But since we’re not there, we should feel anger at times.

 

How we act on that anger is a different story. And as described above I don’t believe it’s possible or necessarily healthy to execute all things without acknowledging and understanding our anger. If someone can look at severe injustice and wrongness in the world without anger at least at some point in processing it, I honestly question whether they’ve fully comprehended the depth of a problem. And from what I’ve seen, those who “don’t go there” when faced with something awful also often don’t fully fix or address the issue. Which means that world of divine balance between justice and mercy is still out of reach, and anger is not warranted will continue to not exist.  


On the last question, to me it’s besides the point. Anger, if it’s happening, likely has a reason for happening…even if what one would want to initially do with that anger is unhealthy. Understanding why it’s happening and healthily addressing it is the goal. Not getting rid of the emotion all together. 
 

with luv, 

BD 

 

[bluebell]

1 hour ago, Fether said:

Would God prefer us to feel anger or not feel anger?

If a task can be executed without anger, should that not always be the goal?

One way to define anger is "a strong feeling of displeasure" about something.  What is sinful or "bad" about having strong feelings of displeasure sometimes?  Does God never feel displeasure over our choices?

Those are the questions that I think are important to be able to answer in a thread like this.

[Chum]

1 hour ago, Fether said:

If a task can be executed without anger, should that not always be the goal?

Life typically doesn't allow us just one goal.

[Chum]

1 hour ago, Fether said:

Would God prefer us to feel anger or not feel anger?

Yes. Emotions help us not be sociopathic.

[Robert F. Smith]

3 hours ago, Fether said:

My hypothesis is that one can execute all needed actions for m those dire situations without becoming angry. 
 

There have been a handful of times where I have seen an injustice of some sort. I haven’t gotten angry but I demand something changes, is fixed, or stopped. On some occasions I have stepped in and stopped it myself. For example, if I see my daughter smack her brother because he took a toy, I don’t get angry, I don’t even feel the emotion of anger, I say “absolutely not, I need you to go sit in your room until you are ready to say sorry and be kind”. Or when a person I know deeply came to me and said “if you want to stay in my life, you need to leave the church”. I wasn’t in the least bit angry, but so recognized the injustice and irrationality of the person and said “friend, that is deeply inappropriate to ask of me and frankly is extremely arrogant. I would never ask you to do anything like that, so what is causing you to ask it if me?”

Can such examples be replicated on more serious events? If so, would not be the more holier approach?

On a more anecdotal side, if you watch those secret agent action movies (Bourne trilogy, Mission Impossible, 007, etc), there are many scenes where they are beating up a bunch of bad guys. They don’t look angry, they are just executing. Additionally, in fighting sports, becoming angry can be a hinderance to your ability to execute.

As a long time karate-ka, I fully understand what you are saying.  The martial arts train us to be calm and professional when facing an opponent, whether in combat training, or in an actual personal battle.  I have remained calm in both situations, and it helped me focus.  Some of that has to do with good sportsmanship, some with the formulaic rules of bushido.  However, not everyone in life is willing to exercise honor and integrity.  Not everyone is a child you are raising.  Not everyone plays by the rules.

Things can go entirely sideways, and life can hang in the balance.  The niceties of Western civilization sometimes lull us into the false notion that everything is sweetness and light, when we suddenly discover the deeply violent and horrible nature of reality.  At that point, we don't have Jason Bourne to save us, and we need to become very angry to deal with the existential threat.

[smac97]

On 4/17/2022 at 8:36 AM, Fether said:

Is it ever appropriate to be angry?

It can be, yes.  See, e.g., here:

Quote

There is also a "righteous anger." According to Elder Bruce R. McConkie in "Mormon Doctrine," "righteous anger is an attribution of deity. Jesus Christ exercised that when he drove the money changers out of the temple and Moses did when he broke the tablets on which the Ten Commandments were written.

"But where man is concerned, there is great peril in anger," Elder McConkie said, "and the fear is ever present that the emotion and passion attending it will be exercised in unrighteousness."

Yep.  We just are not very good at handling anger, at keeping it in its proper sphere and proportion.

On 4/17/2022 at 8:36 AM, Fether said:

Im not just talking about common situations where someone harms us or our kids are loud in sacrament meeting. I want to go to the extremes where someone maliciously harms us in an extreme way, or some atrocity is committed.

I think anger should be resorted to in exceptional circumstances.

On 4/17/2022 at 8:36 AM, Fether said:

I have the opinion that, though it may be understandable and that there may be good reason, it is never appropriate to be angry.

I'm almost there with you.  "It is rarely appropriate to be angry" would be my characterization.

On 4/17/2022 at 8:36 AM, Fether said:

Many point to Christ cleansing the temple as a justification that it is ok to be angry. But I challenge that idea that Christ was angry.

The Old Testament characterzes the premortal Christ as exhibiting anger in some circumstances: Exodus 4:14 ("And the anger of the Lord was kindled against Moses..."), Deut. 1:37 ("Also the Lord was angry with me for your sakes, saying..."), Deut. 4:25 ("When thou shalt beget children, and children’s children, and ye shall have remained long in the land, and shall corrupt yourselves, and make a graven image, or the likeness of any thing, and shall do evil in the sight of the Lord thy God, to provoke him to anger."), Isaiah 1:4 ("Ah sinful nation, a people laden with iniquity, a seed of evildoers, children that are corrupters: they have forsaken the Lord, they have provoked the Holy One of Israel unto anger, they are gone away backward.").

The Doctrine & Covenants characterizes the resurrected Christ as exhibiting anger in some circumstances.  See, e.g., D&C 1:13 ("And the anger of the Lord is kindled, and his sword is bathed in heaven, and it shall fall upon the inhabitants of the earth."), D&C 5:8 ("Oh, this unbelieving and stiffnecked generation—mine anger is kindled against them."), D&C 60:2 ("But with some I am not well pleased, for they will not open their mouths, but they hide the talent which I have given unto them, because of the fear of man. Wo unto such, for mine anger is kindled against them."), D&C 63:11 ("Yea, signs come by faith, unto mighty works, for without faith no man pleaseth God; and with whom God is angry he is not well pleased..."), D&C 63:32 ("I, the Lord, am angry with the wicked; I am holding my Spirit from the inhabitants of the earth."). 

On 4/17/2022 at 8:36 AM, Fether said:

If there are times when it is appropriate to be angry, could you explain what those times are and what factors play into making it appropriate?

Joseph Smith said: "Let us here observe that three things are necessary for any rational and intelligent being to exercise faith in God unto life and salvation. First, the idea that he actually exists; Secondly, a correct idea of his character, perfections, and attributes; Thirdly, an actual knowledge that the course of life which one is pursuing is according to His will."  For the purposes of this discussion, the key attributes of God are that he is just and perfect and - more to the point - we are in many ways deficient in these attributes.  And as Elder McConkie put it, "Truth is ever in harmony with itself." 

As we are individually lacking the attributes that allow the proper utilization of anger, I think we individually need to tread very softly when contemplating having anger in our hearts and minds.  "The Lord is gracious, and full of compassion; slow to anger, and of great mercy."  (Psalms 145:8.) "Behold, this is not my doctrine, to stir up the hearts of men with anger, one against another; but this is my doctrine, that such things should be done away."  (3 Nephi 11:30.)

Conversely, we are susceptible to being tempted by the adversary toward anger: "For behold, at that day shall he rage in the hearts of the children of men, and stir them up to anger against that which is good."  (2 Nephi 28:20.)  "Satan stirreth them up, that he may lead their souls to destruction.  And thus he has laid a cunning plan, thinking to destroy the work of God ... Yea, he stirreth up their hearts to anger against this work."  (D&C 10:22-24.)

The answer, I think, is to genuinely and credibly differentiate anger based on its source, intention and motivation.  Consider this 1988 Ensign article:

Quote

It is true that there is a rare time and place for the expression of righteous anger—the Lord himself has expressed indignation and anger when the circumstances warranted such reactions. Righteous anger is a controlled response to an unrighteous situation, however, not the kind of emotional outbursts most of us are all too familiar with. It is this uncontrolled, emotion-charged anger—and the attendant contention that arises out of it—that is referred to in this article.

Irritations and frustrations will occur in our homes, but frequent anger and contention do not persist where the gospel of Jesus Christ is practiced. A unified effort by both children and parents can bring into the home a spirit of love that can defuse anger and establish peace, respect, and trust.

The entire article is worth a read.  See also this (from Chapter 28 of the "Teachings of Brigham Young" manual) : 

Quote

Do not get so angry that you cannot pray; do not allow yourselves to become so angry that you cannot feed an enemy—even your worst enemy, if an opportunity should present itself. There is a wicked anger, and there is a righteous anger. The Lord does not suffer wicked anger to be in his heart; but there is anger in his bosom, and he will hold a controversy with the nations, and will sift them, and no power can stay his hand (DBY, 269).
...
Now I charge you again, and I charge myself not to get angry. Never let anger arise in your hearts. No, Brigham, never let anger arise in your heart, never, never! Although you may be called upon to chastise and to speak to the people sharply, do not let anger arise in you, no, never! (DBY, 265).

Cease your anger, and sullenness of temper, and serve the Lord with cheerfulness, and singleness of heart.
...
How do we distinguish between “righteous anger,” such as shown by the Savior on occasions, and “wicked anger”? (See also 2 Nephi 1:26.)

See also this 1980 Ensign article, "The Case Against Anger."

And here: A Scriptural Comparison Concerning Anger: 3 Nephi 12:22 and Matthew 5:22

Thanks,

-Smac

[Kenngo1969]

10 hours ago, Robert F. Smith said:

... Are you recommending the attitude and behavior of complete pacifism?  Is that what God wants?

I don't know if he is or he isn't recommending that, but, certainly, the Doctrine and Covenants and the Book of Mormon do not require it.  Certainly, in many circumstances, a peaceable response is preferable, but it is neither always possible nor always desirable.

[LoudmouthMormon]

On 4/17/2022 at 8:36 AM, Fether said:

I have the opinion that, though it may be understandable and that there may be good reason, it is never appropriate to be angry.

If there are times when it is appropriate to be angry, could you explain what those times are and what factors play into making it appropriate?

BTW, if you never express or feel anger, you might wish to be tested for emotional detachment, or the presence of a mental health or personality disorder.   Here is a partial list of impairments from which folks who cannot feel/express anger may suffer:

Schizoid Personality Disorder
Schizotypal Personality Disorder
Schizophrenia
Sociopathic Personality Disorder
Psychopathic Personality Disorder

Some folks on the Autism scale may struggle with stuff like this, and decreased emotional responses can happen in advanced stages of Alzheimer's. (Though if either of these things are keeping you from being angry, you probably already noticed other stuff a while ago.)

In short, if it is never appropriate to be angry, God made every single mentally stable human (and the vast majority of unstable humans) in such a way that they are forced to be inappropriate at certain times throughout their lives. Anger is, like any other mortal burden, something to be dealt with as best we can.

Brigham Young's advice for all of us is pretty good:

Quote

Many men will say they have a violent temper, and try to excuse themselves for actions of which they are ashamed. I will say, there is not a man in this house who has a more indomitable and unyielding temper than myself. But there is not a man in the world who cannot overcome his passion, if he will struggle earnestly to do so. If you find passion coming on you, go off to some place where you cannot be heard; let none of your family see you or hear you, while it is upon you, but struggle till it leaves you; and pray for strength to overcome. As I have said many times to the Elders, pray in your families; and if, when the time for prayer comes, you have not the spirit of prayer upon you, and your knees are unwilling to bow, say to them, “Knees, get down there”; make them bend, and remain there until you obtain the Spirit of the Lord. If the spirit yields to the body, it becomes corrupt; but if the body yields to the spirit it becomes pure and holy (DBY, 267).

Do not get so angry that you cannot pray; do not allow yourselves to become so angry that you cannot feed an enemy—even your worst enemy, if an opportunity should present itself. There is a wicked anger, and there is a righteous anger. The Lord does not suffer wicked anger to be in his heart; but there is anger in his bosom, and he will hold a controversy with the nations, and will sift them, and no power can stay his hand (DBY, 269).

When my feelings are aroused to anger by the ill-doings of others, I hold them as I would hold a wild horse, and I gain the victory. Some think and say that it makes them feel better when they are mad, as they call it, to give vent to their madness in abusive and unbecoming language. This, however, is a mistake. Instead of its making you feel better, it is making bad worse. When you think and say it makes you better you give credit to a falsehood. When the wrath and bitterness of the human heart are moulded into words and hurled with violence at one another, without any check or hindrance, the fire has no sooner expended itself than it is again re-kindled through some trifling course, until the course of nature is set on fire (DBY, 266).

Now I charge you again, and I charge myself not to get angry. Never let anger arise in your hearts. No, Brigham, never let anger arise in your heart, never, never! Although you may be called upon to chastise and to speak to the people sharply, do not let anger arise in you, no, never! (DBY, 265).

Cease your anger, and sullenness of temper, and serve the Lord with cheerfulness, and singleness of heart. You need not expect salvation, except you can administer the same salvation to others, both in precept and example. If you expect compassion from me, administer the same to me. If you wish kind words and kind treatment from me, give me the same blessing you desire yourself; and that is the way you will be saved (DBY, 268–69).

If you give way to your angry feelings, it sets on fire the whole course of nature, … and you are then apt to set those on fire who are contending with you. When you feel as though you would burst, tell the old boiler to burst, and just laugh at the temptation to speak evil. If you will continue to do that, you will soon be so masters of yourselves as to be able, if not to tame, to control your tongues—able to speak when you ought, and to be silent when you ought (DBY, 269).

We want the spirit, knowledge, power and principle within us to govern and control our tempers; there is no danger of having too much [anger] if we will only control [it] by the Spirit of the Almighty. Every intelligent being on the earth is tempered for glory, beauty, excellency and knowledge here, and for immortality and eternal lives in the worlds to come. But every being who attains to this must be sanctified before God and be completely under the control of his Spirit. If I am thus controlled by the Spirit of the Most High, I am a king. I am supreme so far as the control of self is concerned (DBY, 264–65).

 

Edited April 18, 2022 by LoudmouthMormon

[LoudmouthMormon]

Fun story on Reddit the other day, where people were sharing their experiences with genuine psychopaths.  At a college party, a guy saw someone he knew, playing a sad song at a piano.  He knew this guy was supposed to be on a date with someone but it had been rocky, so he figured the guy had been dumped, and went to console him.  

"Yep, she dumped me.  She told me I was an emotionless jerk who felt nothing for her, that I could care less about her, and she needed someone in her life with the ability to feel.   Thing is, she was right - I didn't feel anything for her, I don't feel anything, for anybody, ever.  I've trained myself to be aware of stuff, and I know if I come to a place like this and play this particular song on the piano, someone will come by and buy me a drink, and here you are."

The conversation started a multidecade long friendship between the two.  The psychopath would ask the storyteller for advice on how to act like he cared about women, and the guy would tell him.  About listening to someone's troubles, buying them gifts, ways to act spontaneous.  They'd go over things that a feeling person would say and do in different situations.  As they graduated and moved on with their lives, the psychopath would continue to call the guy on occasion for advice on how to "act human".  He eventually got married and had kids, and would call the guy several times a year to pre-approve stuff like holiday/birthday/anniversary actions and presents. 

So even if you find yourself unable to feel, it's not a death sentence. 

Edited April 18, 2022 by LoudmouthMormon

[CV75]

6 hours ago, bluebell said:

One way to define anger is "a strong feeling of displeasure" about something.  What is sinful or "bad" about having strong feelings of displeasure sometimes?  Does God never feel displeasure over our choices?

Those are the questions that I think are important to be able to answer in a thread like this.

And sometimes it helps move things along

[The Nehor]

Anger generally occurs when expectations are unmet.

Therefore cynics and pessimists are the holiest of us in their search to end anger.

[Fether]

8 hours ago, BlueDreams said:

If there was a world where anger was never warranted (as in where there was no evil, things were equitable, and fairness/love reined in divine balance), I think God would prefer us have that world. But since we’re not there, we should feel anger at times.

So you think evil, inequality, lack of fairness, and lack of love justifies anger?

[Fether]

5 hours ago, LoudmouthMormon said:

BTW, if you never express or feel anger, you might wish to be tested for emotional detachment, or the presence of a mental health or personality disorder.   Here is a partial list of impairments from which folks who cannot feel/express anger may suffer:

Schizoid Personality Disorder
Schizotypal Personality Disorder
Schizophrenia
Sociopathic Personality Disorder
Psychopathic Personality Disorder

Some folks on the Autism scale may struggle with stuff like this, and decreased emotional responses can happen in advanced stages of Alzheimer's. (Though if either of these things are keeping you from being angry, you probably already noticed other stuff a while ago.)

In short, if it is never appropriate to be angry, God made every single mentally stable human (and the vast majority of unstable humans) in such a way that they are forced to be inappropriate at certain times throughout their lives. Anger is, like any other mortal burden, something to be dealt with as best we can.

Brigham Young's advice for all of us is pretty good:

 

I definitely feel anger. But over the years I have worked on it. It is now to the point that I am not easily angered.

[Fether]

7 hours ago, Robert F. Smith said:

when we suddenly discover the deeply violent and horrible nature of reality.  At that point, we don't have Jason Bourne to save us, and we need to become very angry to deal with the existential threat.

Could one learn to deal with such situations without becoming angry? And would we be better off taking that route if possible?

[Meadowchik]

10 minutes ago, Fether said:

I definitely feel anger. But over the years I have worked on it. It is now to the point that I am not easily angered.

That's maturity, for sure...I have similar experience. I'm generally not as easily angered. In my opinion a major component of that is improving empathy for others and also patience with myself. I think that anger in many cases was a symptom of ignorance in both areas. Like my mom says, anger was telling me something. Reflecting on it and working through it is loads different from burying it trying to forbid it.