Guest daz2 Posted January 28, 2016 Posted January 28, 2016 The Church strongly encourages straight men to marry and not remain single. The ecclesiastical pressure put on single men to marry sometimes seems greater than the pressure put on single women because it is perceived that in western culture men do the "asking" for marriage. What about widowers who are single but are sealed to their deceased spouse? Is there an unofficial or unofficial (or unwritten) teaching or principle that such widowers should remarry? Is it acceptable and good to remain single? If a widower does not remarry he cannot serve as a senior missionary. And probably there are other church callings in which he could not serve. Is this a sign that the Church prefers that widowers remarry, even if sealed to a late wife? Suppose there is an unwritten rule of the church that a widower, even if sealed to his late wife, should remarry. Are there principles that should be followed? Should his second marriage be for eternity like the first--should he be sealed to his second wife? Can a time only remarriage be acceptable and good--for example to a widow who is sealed to her late husband? If a time-only remarriage is acceptable and good to a widow sealed to someone else, what about a time-only remarriage to someone else--perhaps a someone who does not have a recommend or is not endowed? What about a time-only remarriage to an inactive member? Or to someone who is not a member at all? What about a widow sealed to her late husband? Is it okay for her to enter into a time only marriage to someone without a recommend, or unendowed, or inactive, or not a member at all? What are the pros and cons? Assume for a moment that the widow or widower and the prospective spouse (whether active LDS or not) have already raised their children, so that differences in religious views will not cause arguments during child raising.
Scott Lloyd Posted January 28, 2016 Posted January 28, 2016 (edited) 14 minutes ago, Guest daz2 said: The Church strongly encourages straight men to marry and not remain single. The ecclesiastical pressure put on single men to marry sometimes seems greater than the pressure put on single women because it is perceived that in western culture men do the "asking" for marriage. What about widowers who are single but are sealed to their deceased spouse? Is there an unofficial or unofficial (or unwritten) teaching or principle that such widowers should remarry? Is it acceptable and good to remain single? If a widower does not remarry he cannot serve as a senior missionary. And probably there are other church callings in which he could not serve. Is this a sign that the Church prefers that widowers remarry, even if sealed to a late wife? Suppose there is an unwritten rule of the church that a widower, even if sealed to his late wife, should remarry. Are there principles that should be followed? Should his second marriage be for eternity like the first--should he be sealed to his second wife? Can a time only remarriage be acceptable and good--for example to a widow who is sealed to her late husband? If a time-only remarriage is acceptable and good to a widow sealed to someone else, what about a time-only remarriage to someone else--perhaps a someone who does not have a recommend or is not endowed? What about a time-only remarriage to an inactive member? Or to someone who is not a member at all? What about a widow sealed to her late husband? Is it okay for her to enter into a time only marriage to someone without a recommend, or unendowed, or inactive, or not a member at all? What are the pros and cons? Assume for a moment that the widow or widower and the prospective spouse (whether active LDS or not) have already raised their children, so that differences in religious views will not cause arguments during child raising. Two recently deceased apostles might serve as illustrations. Elder L. Tom Perry, who lost his first wife to death, was counseled by President Harold B. Lee to remarry. Elder Richard G. Scott remained a widower the rest of his life. I guess there is no hard-and-fast rule. Edited to add: I think interfaith marriages are not a good idea in any case. Edited January 28, 2016 by Scott Lloyd 4
The Nehor Posted January 28, 2016 Posted January 28, 2016 I would seek the counsel of God. I wish I had only to seek counsel. Instead I have to ask what is taking me so long in something I am almost certainly supposed to do.
VideoGameJunkie Posted January 28, 2016 Posted January 28, 2016 17 minutes ago, The Nehor said: I would seek the counsel of God. I wish I had only to seek counsel. Instead I have to ask what is taking me so long in something I am almost certainly supposed to do. I'm with you on that. I did get a priesthood blessing from my brother though who said to expand what type of companion I seek. Not fully sure what that meant though.
Scott Lloyd Posted January 28, 2016 Posted January 28, 2016 2 hours ago, VideoGameJunkie said: I'm with you on that. I did get a priesthood blessing from my brother though who said to expand what type of companion I seek. Not fully sure what that meant though. Sounds like he was telling you to stop being so picky. Depending on the circumstances, that may or may not be good advice.
Rain Posted January 28, 2016 Posted January 28, 2016 (edited) I think membership requirements are as important for a widowed person as they are for a single person. Partners in good marriages build and support each other. You may be sealed to your first spouse, but you still need to live worthy of the blessings. If your next spouse isn't supportive of you living those standards then you may follow them and not do so. That isn't to say that nonmembers etc will be less supportive and active members will be more. There are exceptions, but history shows that things that are important, but different, in spouses tend to break up marriages or have one spouse changing. It's hard to maintain a marriage when basic, important goals are different. So one needs to be just as wise and prayerful with the second marriage as the first. Edited January 28, 2016 by Rain 1
ERMD Posted January 28, 2016 Posted January 28, 2016 It is an individual decision and there is no blanket official/unofficial policy or recommendation regarding the marriage status of a widow/widower. 1
Storm Rider Posted January 28, 2016 Posted January 28, 2016 7 hours ago, Guest daz2 said: The Church strongly encourages straight men to marry and not remain single. The ecclesiastical pressure put on single men to marry sometimes seems greater than the pressure put on single women because it is perceived that in western culture men do the "asking" for marriage. What about widowers who are single but are sealed to their deceased spouse? Is there an unofficial or unofficial (or unwritten) teaching or principle that such widowers should remarry? Is it acceptable and good to remain single? If a widower does not remarry he cannot serve as a senior missionary. And probably there are other church callings in which he could not serve. Is this a sign that the Church prefers that widowers remarry, even if sealed to a late wife? Suppose there is an unwritten rule of the church that a widower, even if sealed to his late wife, should remarry. Are there principles that should be followed? Should his second marriage be for eternity like the first--should he be sealed to his second wife? Can a time only remarriage be acceptable and good--for example to a widow who is sealed to her late husband? If a time-only remarriage is acceptable and good to a widow sealed to someone else, what about a time-only remarriage to someone else--perhaps a someone who does not have a recommend or is not endowed? What about a time-only remarriage to an inactive member? Or to someone who is not a member at all? What about a widow sealed to her late husband? Is it okay for her to enter into a time only marriage to someone without a recommend, or unendowed, or inactive, or not a member at all? What are the pros and cons? Assume for a moment that the widow or widower and the prospective spouse (whether active LDS or not) have already raised their children, so that differences in religious views will not cause arguments during child raising. Hello, Guest - welcome to the Forum. First, the choice to marry is personal and should never managed through the counsel of another. If you do choose to remarry you may still be married in the temple, but only for time. It is absolutely certain you do not need to be sealed to your second spouse. Alternatively, you may simply go down to the county court house and be married there - it is your choice. Do what feels appropriate and comfortable. The only purpose of the second marriage is to be happy, to have companionship, etc. If this is something you find while being single then there is no need to find another spouse. Some of us find happiness not remarrying while some of us find greater joy to remarrying rather than remaining single. The choice of whom to marry is more challenging. Will an individual who has been active all their life, had a fulfilling marriage to an active spouse find happiness with a spouse that is not a member of the Church? It is possible, but it depends. Our priorities may be outlined as follows: God, spouse, family, Church. It may be worthwhile to review priorities and balance as addressed by some of our apostles. Good luck on your journey.
ERayR Posted January 28, 2016 Posted January 28, 2016 7 hours ago, Guest daz2 said: The Church strongly encourages straight men to marry and not remain single. The ecclesiastical pressure put on single men to marry sometimes seems greater than the pressure put on single women because it is perceived that in western culture men do the "asking" for marriage. What about widowers who are single but are sealed to their deceased spouse? Is there an unofficial or unofficial (or unwritten) teaching or principle that such widowers should remarry? Is it acceptable and good to remain single? If a widower does not remarry he cannot serve as a senior missionary. And probably there are other church callings in which he could not serve. Is this a sign that the Church prefers that widowers remarry, even if sealed to a late wife? Suppose there is an unwritten rule of the church that a widower, even if sealed to his late wife, should remarry. Are there principles that should be followed? Should his second marriage be for eternity like the first--should he be sealed to his second wife? Can a time only remarriage be acceptable and good--for example to a widow who is sealed to her late husband? If a time-only remarriage is acceptable and good to a widow sealed to someone else, what about a time-only remarriage to someone else--perhaps a someone who does not have a recommend or is not endowed? What about a time-only remarriage to an inactive member? Or to someone who is not a member at all? What about a widow sealed to her late husband? Is it okay for her to enter into a time only marriage to someone without a recommend, or unendowed, or inactive, or not a member at all? What are the pros and cons? Assume for a moment that the widow or widower and the prospective spouse (whether active LDS or not) have already raised their children, so that differences in religious views will not cause arguments during child raising. Try Genesis 2:18. 1
JAHS Posted January 28, 2016 Posted January 28, 2016 My wife passed about a year ago. When Elder Scott died I saw an interview he gave talking about the death of his own wife: "First of all, . . . I didn’t lose her. She’s on the other side of the veil. We’ve been sealed in that holy ordinance of the temple, and we’ll be together forever. And at critical times in my life when I need help, I can feel impressions come through the veil in such a real way that often I just [think,] “Thank you, Jeanene.” So there isn’t that loss. The second is that when you get it right the first time, you don’t want to mess it up with a second time. We are so close and love each other so very much that I don’t have any feeling of need to remarry. I recognize that for some men there’s a very strong support they require from a wife, and so they remarry, and I don’t question that for them. Jeanene and I prepared each other in all the ways we could think of for being able to survive well when one of us passed through the veil, and I wish she hadn’t been the first one, but that’s the way it worked out." That's pretty much how I feel now. For me even though it was a year ago it still feels like it only happened a few weeks ago. I have no desire to remarry right now, but I am 63 years old and could live another 20 years, so I don't know if my feelings on this will change or not. When a widower does remarry it is usually for time only in the temple if his new wife had also already been sealed to a now deceased husband. If the new wife has not already been sealed he can be sealed to her also. 1
Jeanne Posted January 28, 2016 Posted January 28, 2016 Marry for love not for the church and wait until YOU are ready. 2
Ahab Posted January 28, 2016 Posted January 28, 2016 11 hours ago, Guest daz2 said: What about widowers who are single but are sealed to their deceased spouse? Widowers are not single, at least not if they have been sealed to an eternal companion. The fact that their wife has died does not make them single. Is there an unofficial or unofficial (or unwritten) teaching or principle that such widowers should remarry? Is it acceptable and good to remain single? A married man whose wife is dead is, again, not single but he does miss being with his wife and longs to be with her again. Even if he marries another woman as an additional wife he will still miss and long to be with his wife while looking forward to the day when he will be with her again. If a widower does not remarry he cannot serve as a senior missionary. And probably there are other church callings in which he could not serve. Is this a sign that the Church prefers that widowers remarry, even if sealed to a late wife? Suppose there is an unwritten rule of the church that a widower, even if sealed to his late wife, should remarry. Are there principles that should be followed? Should his second marriage be for eternity like the first--should he be sealed to his second wife? Can a time only remarriage be acceptable and good--for example to a widow who is sealed to her late husband? If a time-only remarriage is acceptable and good to a widow sealed to someone else, what about a time-only remarriage to someone else--perhaps a someone who does not have a recommend or is not endowed? What about a time-only remarriage to an inactive member? Or to someone who is not a member at all? What about a widow sealed to her late husband? Is it okay for her to enter into a time only marriage to someone without a recommend, or unendowed, or inactive, or not a member at all? What are the pros and cons? Assume for a moment that the widow or widower and the prospective spouse (whether active LDS or not) have already raised their children, so that differences in religious views will not cause arguments during child raising. I'm sure people mean well when they advise people to marry, whether male or female, but the decision to marry is best left to the people who are actually getting married, when they choose to get married, and the people who will be actually marrying them then.
JAHS Posted January 28, 2016 Posted January 28, 2016 12 hours ago, Guest daz2 said: If a widower does not remarry he cannot serve as a senior missionary. And probably there are other church callings in which he could not serve. Is this a sign that the Church prefers that widowers remarry, even if sealed to a late wife? I believe a widower can serve in a Church-Service Missionary calling without being married.
smac97 Posted January 28, 2016 Posted January 28, 2016 12 hours ago, Scott Lloyd said: Two recently deceased apostles might serve as illustrations. Elder L. Tom Perry, who lost his first wife to death, was counseled by President Harold B. Lee to remarry. Elder Richard G. Scott remained a widower the rest of his life. I guess there is no hard-and-fast rule. Edited to add: I think interfaith marriages are not a good idea in any case. I would say that interfaith marriages are generally not a good idea. There can be exceptions to this. Thanks, -Smac
Robert F. Smith Posted January 28, 2016 Posted January 28, 2016 14 hours ago, Guest daz2 said: The Church strongly encourages straight men to marry and not remain single. The ecclesiastical pressure put on single men to marry sometimes seems greater than the pressure put on single women because it is perceived that in western culture men do the "asking" for marriage. In our Wesern culture, women frequently do the asking. I have been asked several times. It is also true that "man chases woman until she catches him," and that "love is one damn fool after another." What about widowers who are single but are sealed to their deceased spouse? Is there an unofficial or unofficial (or unwritten) teaching or principle that such widowers should remarry? Is it acceptable and good to remain single? President Monson has not remarried. Is that acceptable? If a widower does not remarry he cannot serve as a senior missionary. And probably there are other church callings in which he could not serve. Is this a sign that the Church prefers that widowers remarry, even if sealed to a late wife? ??
theplains Posted January 29, 2016 Posted January 29, 2016 On 28/01/2016 at 1:57 AM, Guest daz2 said: What about widowers who are single but are sealed to their deceased spouse? Is there an unofficial or unofficial (or unwritten) teaching or principle that such widowers should remarry? Is it acceptable and good to remain single? If a widower does not remarry he cannot serve as a senior missionary. And probably there are other church callings in which he could not serve. Is this a sign that the Church prefers that widowers remarry, even if sealed to a late wife? Since sealing is for eternity, the widower who remarries would have two husbands in the resurrection unless somehow the dead husband agrees in the spirit world to his 'eternal sealing' being annulled so he could make room for the other gentleman. Regards, Jim
Calm Posted January 29, 2016 Posted January 29, 2016 (edited) Quote the widower who remarries would have two husbands psst...widower is the husband. Edited January 29, 2016 by Calm 1
katherine the great Posted January 30, 2016 Posted January 30, 2016 On January 28, 2016 at 11:57 PM, Guest daz2 said: Assume for a moment that the widow or widower and the prospective spouse (whether active LDS or not) have already raised their children, so that differences in religious views will not cause arguments during child raising. I would think that a person who has already raised their children would be mature enough to make that decision for themselves. (just sayin...) 2
The Nehor Posted January 30, 2016 Posted January 30, 2016 3 minutes ago, katherine the great said: I would think that a person who has already raised their children would be mature enough to make that decision for themselves. (just sayin...) Many would but I have met some older adults that I would not trust to sit the right way on a toilet seat let alone make big decisions like that.
VideoGameJunkie Posted January 30, 2016 Posted January 30, 2016 16 minutes ago, The Nehor said: Many would but I have met some older adults that I would not trust to sit the right way on a toilet seat let alone make big decisions like that. I have an alternate theory on how one should sit on the toilet but I keep it to myself.
Avatar4321 Posted January 30, 2016 Posted January 30, 2016 It was the Lord who said that it is not good for man to be alone. Follow the Spirit and you will know what to do. The church doesn't need a policy on everything. 1
katherine the great Posted January 31, 2016 Posted January 31, 2016 On January 30, 2016 at 11:53 PM, The Nehor said: Many would but I have met some older adults that I would not trust to sit the right way on a toilet seat let alone make big decisions like that. Then they definitely should remain single.
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