Why Are Youth Leaving The Church?

[Yirgacheffe]

I note that this series of reports comes out of Notre Dame, and have long been impressed with how seriously the Roman Catholic Church addresses problems:  For example, when the high divorce rate became apparent, they did detailed studies as to why that might be so, and then took action to turn the stats around.  They adopted a very thorough program to combat divorce.  Since people who married after only a short engagement tended to get divorced far more than others, they sought to require delays in marriage for everyone.  They required pre-marital counseling, and marriage training.  They scheduled marriages for chapels or cathedrals out six months or more, with excellent results.

What I liked was that it actually described my experiences as a teenager and those of my friends and family, no tumult or drama.  It was not a time of horrible angst or family tension, we were normal and that's not abnormal.

 

One of the most pervasive and persistent conventional beliefs about U.S. teens is that adolescence inevitably puts them through a difficult period of physical, emotional and relational stress. Adolescence is commonly assumed to be a time of psychological and social turmoil precipitated by hormonal changes, sexual awakening, identity strains and tensions associated with changing relationships as teens seek increasing autonomy from institutions of former dependence, particularly family and religion. This stereo-type was first noticeably promoted in the early 20th century by the influential adolescent psychologist G. Stanley Hall (1904) and has been reinforced since by the works of Peter Blos (1984), Erik Erikson (1968) and others. Anna Freud (1958: 275) epitomized this adolescent “storm and stress” stereotype when she wrote that, “To be normal during the adolescent period is by itself abnor-mal.” The problem with this “storm and stress” stereotype of teenagers, however, is that much of the academic scholarship upon which it has been grounded is based on observations of the adolescent clinical patients of these psychologist authors. A number of popular books on youth continue this same sampling bias by featuring subjects who are hardly representative of the average or typical youth (e.g., Pipher 1994; Pollack 1998; Kindlon and Thompson 2000)

In recent decades, however, many more solid studies of non-clinical adolescent populations have cast doubt on the “storm and stress” stereotype, empha sizing instead the diversity of adolescents’ experiences, the lack of inevitability in any youth out come and the relative low levels of intense turmoil in teenagers’ lives (e.g., Powers, Hauser and Kilner 1989; Offer 1969; Rutter et al. 1976). In fact, only about 10 to 20 percent of adolescents manifest severe emotional disturbance, approximately the same percentage as in the adult population (Hauser and Bowlds 1990). Further, Steinberg (1990: 260) writes that only between 5 and 10 percent of families experience dramatic decline in the quality of parent-child relationships during the teenage years. As a result, a consensus has emerged among scholars that most U.S. youth and their families do not experience adolescence as an unavoidably distressing period of intense psycho-social turmoil.  

Adolescence does involve major changes for youth and their families, but most negotiate these changes fairly successfully.  Sustained teenage rebellion against, conflict with and alienation from parents and traditional social institutions are not inevitable, nor are they the adolescent norm.

 

[Hamba Tuhan]

It may be well to point out here the the entire concept of adolescence has a known, and rather recent, genealogy, and simply doesn't exist even today in many non-Western cultures.

[Coreyb]

It may be well to point out here the the entire concept of adolescence has a known, and rather recent, genealogy, and simply doesn't exist even today in many non-Western cultures.

Yep, my great grandpa lived to be one hundred and four, but he was never a teenager

[JAHS]

"Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it." (Proverbs 22:6)

 

It doesn't say when he is a teenager he will not depart from it. When they become adults many do come back to it when they realize that where they are heading is on a path to destruction. This is exactly what happened to one of my own kids, so we should never completely give up on them.

[Calm]

Are you advocating that schools, sports, etc, create their schedules based on when LDS youth programs meet?

The problem is in Utah a school district is going to have multiple wards with different activity nights so it will be impossible not to have an activity where at least one third of the wards cannot attend if they are going to mutual.  Outside of Utah, the number is probably low enough, they don't need to work around LDS schedules.

[VideoGameJunkie]

A ton of the people I went through primary and young men/ young women left during parental divorce or a parent leaving the church. If a youth sees their parent isn't going to church anymore, they may say, hey why do I have to. Youths can be rebellious and looking for opportunities to have Sunday's to sleep in instead of going to church.

[Yirgacheffe]

The problem is in Utah a school district is going to have multiple wards with different activity nights so it will be impossible not to have an activity where at least one third of the wards cannot attend if they are going to mutual.  Outside of Utah, the number is probably low enough, they don't need to work around LDS schedules.

What is mutual?

[The Nehor]

What is mutual?

The young men and young women's programs of the church used to be called the Mutual Improvement Association and the name stuck around describing the one night a week the youth meet.

[why me]

I know of two youths in my ward that left due to sexual matters. I personally think we make to big of a deal out of self gratification.

But they did leave at their own free will. Most likely because they wanted to gratify their sexual impulse. However, they were not forced out of the ward or branch. Also, one can have sexual relations outside of marriage and still come to church. No one is going to stand at the door with a no entry sign. And these days, most bishops are lenient toward the youth.

[Rain]

It's not as easy as you make it sound. First, at least two nights would have to be set aside for the LDS Church, Monday and Wednesday. Tuesday or Thursday would most likely need to be set aside also because most buildings are shared. Second, schools try to keep their own activities from happening on the same night as much as possible. There are various dance groups, sports teams, music groups, drama, debate, and others. Would you have them all just defer to the LDS Church before making their schedules?

Oh I know it isn't easy. I've had my children in 3 different schools at the same time, gone to all the PTA meetings and volunteered at each school every week (until we moved here). I know what goes on in the schools with calendaring.

It isn't easy, but it is rather amazing what can happen when at least one person speaks up. After that first person speaks up then others often follow suit.

Personally Monday was the night I worried about most. Everything I have heard from church shows me that is the one general leaders worry about most. When families actually take the time for a good FHE it can have a big impact on the kids. I love YWYM, but as a parent then FHE is where my real responsibility is.

There are also alternate ways for people to do things. So school has only have one night free. Yeah for that night. Now let's think outside of the box.

During marching band season practices were always on Thursday. Several youth from one ward in our stake went to a different ward held on Thursday. The bishops and leaders worked to make this happen because they saw the bigger picture.

Sometimes we get stuck in a rut. It seems to be the thing that if we have more than one ward in a building we have to assign different nights. Most of the time the groups are small enough that doesn't need to be the case. We have 3 wards here. They all meet on the same night. I know of few wards where they had so many wards that wouldn't work.

So it's not a matter of it being easy or one group strong arming everything. It's a matter of realizing there has to be balance between school and everything else and having everyone working together to do it.

Edited January 1, 2015 by Rain

[why me]

I think a lot of Momons like to blame the falling numbers to sex.  But virtually every study in recent years actually show a falling of sexual activity in youth.  So it doesn't really answer why numbers are falling.  There are other reasons.

 

I  don't think that mormons are very good at seeing themselves in the society. They are very much part of the larger community. They live in the community and each day they do the ideology of the greater society. As such mormon youth can be very much involved in the impulse society too. Narcisisissm and self obession mixed with technology and a free market without much restriction has taken its toll on the lds community too. LDS youth are also becoming self-centered, full of ego. The idea of community and commonality are becoming rarer these days and this also affects the lds community.

 

The question is  where does satan come into play in the creation of such an impulse society? I must say that satan very rarely get the credit nowadays. He has become unfashionable.

Edited January 1, 2015 by why me

[california boy]

I  don't think that mormons are very good at seeing themselves in the society. They are very much part of the larger community. They live in the community and each day they do the ideology of the greater society. As such mormon youth can be very much involved in the impulse society too. Narcisisissm and self obession mixed with technology and a free market without much restriction has taken its toll on the lds community too. LDS youth are also becoming self-centered, full of ego. The idea of community and commonality are becoming rarer these days and this also affects the lds community.

 

The question is  where does satan come into play in the creation of such an impulse society? I must say that satan very rarely get the credit nowadays. He has become unfashionable.

 

I am not disagreeing with you about Mormons being influenced by society.  But that has always been true. I am probably not being clear.  Let me try again.  Recent polls show a DECREASE in sexual immorality in youth overall.  So if Mormon youth are simply following society trends, then sexual immorality among Mormons should also actually be DECREASING.  If sexual immorality is causing Mormon youth to leave the church, then the number of youth leaving should actually be decreasing.  But that is not the case.  Studies are showing that Mormon youth leaving the church is actually rising.  So there must be other reasons other than sexual immorality which is NOT increasing for this increase in youth leaving.  You mentioned a few other possible reasons.  Perhaps you are right about those.  I don't know.  I haven't seen any statistics.

[pogi]

Recent polls show a DECREASE in sexual immorality in youth overall.

 

Are we sure that the standard of "sexual immorality" isn't decreasing on recent polls?

 

Do they include pornography and masturbation on their poll of sexual immorality?

 

I actually wouldn't be surprised if kids really are having less sex as pornography is on the rise.  Porn addicts often prefer their fantasies and self-gratification to real life sex, which would lead to an apparent "decrease" in sexual immorality in polls where porn and masturbation are not taken into account.

Edited January 1, 2015 by pogi

[Tacenda]

And it seems a bit shocking that LDS have such high rates of pornography addiction.

Edited January 1, 2015 by Tacenda

[Bobbieaware]

I am not disagreeing with you about Mormons being influenced by society. But that has always been true. I am probably not being clear. Let me try again. Recent polls show a DECREASE in sexual immorality in youth overall. So if Mormon youth are simply following society trends, then sexual immorality among Mormons should also actually be DECREASING. If sexual immorality is causing Mormon youth to leave the church, then the number of youth leaving should actually be decreasing. But that is not the case. Studies are showing that Mormon youth leaving the church is actually rising. So there must be other reasons other than sexual immorality which is NOT increasing for this increase in youth leaving. You mentioned a few other possible reasons. Perhaps you are right about those. I don't know. I haven't seen any statistics.

Please cite or provide links to the poll (or polls) that show a decrease in sexual immorality. Since the 'sexual revolution' of the 60's and 70's, sexual immorality has become so pervasive, deeply entrenched and hard-wired into the general culture that I find it hard to believe there's been any SIGNIFICANT change in sexual attitudes and practices.

Edited January 1, 2015 by Bobbieaware

[pogi]

And it seems a bit shocking that LDS have such high rates of pornography addiction.

 

Do we have higher rates than anybody else?

[Bobbieaware]

And it seems a bit shocking that LDS have such high rates of pornography addiction, why is that?

Because the Latter-day Saints are born with the same fallen natures and sexual drives every other human being is born with. But because the members know fornication and adultery are sins second only to murder, in their unconverted weakness some of these members opt to commit sins of lesser seriousness because the don't want to be excommunicated.

[Rob Osborn]

I AM NOT SO sure that LDS have higher rates of pornography addiction. I think such studies are wrong.

[Tacenda]

I AM NOT SO sure that LDS have higher rates of pornography addiction. I think such studies are wrong.

Maybe we label it porn and others label it normal. I think some with porn addiction may start out very mild. And then when a wife or spouse discover it they make it more serious then it is until it turns into a problem. But don't want to derail.

[danielwoods]

Maybe we label it porn and others label it normal. I think some with porn addiction may start out very mild. And then when a wife or spouse discover it they make it more serious then it is until it turns into a problem. But don't want to derail.

Colossians 2:21-23New International Version (NIV)

21 “Do not handle! Do not taste! Do not touch!”? 22 These rules, which have to do with things that are all destined to perish with use, are based on merely human commands and teachings. 23 Such regulations indeed have an appearance of wisdom, with their self-imposed worship, their false humility and their harsh treatment of the body, but they lack any value in restraining sensual indulgence.

Only transformation by the Spirit changes a human heart.

Edited January 1, 2015 by danielwoods

[california boy]

Are we sure that the standard of "sexual immorality" isn't decreasing on recent polls?

 

Do they include pornography and masturbation on their poll of sexual immorality?

 

I actually wouldn't be surprised if kids really are having less sex as pornography is on the rise.  Porn addicts often prefer their fantasies and self-gratification to real life sex, which would lead to an apparent "decrease" in sexual immorality in polls where porn and masturbation are not taken into account.

 

It didn't include porn or masturbation.  They were about actual sex.  Do you really think that youth who masturbate leave the church?  If that were true, there would be no guys in the church.  There is an old saying.  There are two types of young men.  Those that masturbate, and those that lie about it.

 

I would love to hear from any male poster who can state that they never masturbated when they were in their youth.

[california boy]

Please cite or provide links to the poll (or polls) that show a decrease in sexual immorality. Since the 'sexual revolution' of the 60's and 70's, sexual immorality has become so pervasive, deeply entrenched and hard-wired into the general culture that I find it hard to believe there's been any SIGNIFICANT change in sexual attitudes and practices.

Sure.  Here is one study by Kaiser Foundation

 

Fewer than half of all 9-12th grade students report having had sexual intercourse, reflecting a decline during the last decade from 53 percent in 1993 to 47 percent in 2003. Males are more likely than females to report having had sexual intercourse.3, 4

 

 

The percentage of teens 15-19 who had initiated sexual intercourse before age 14 has decreased in recent years, from a high of 8 percent of girls and 11 percent of boys in 1995 to a low of 6 percent of girls and 8 percent of boys in 2002.7

 

 

 

 

 

The percentage of 9-12th grade students who report having had four or more sexual partners has declined in recent years from 19 percent in 1993 to 14 percent in 2003. Males (18%) are more likely than females (11%) to report having had four or more sexual partners.3, 4

 

 

 

 

Whether you think this is significant or not is up to you.  But what can not be claimed is that sexual activity is decreasing in the general population.  Youth leaving the church is increasing.  Two opposing trends. I am suggesting that increased sexual activity may not be a reason for the rise in youth leaving the church.

[pogi]

It didn't include porn or masturbation.  They were about actual sex.  Do you really think that youth who masturbate leave the church?  If that were true, there would be no guys in the church.  There is an old saying.  There are two types of young men.  Those that masturbate, and those that lie about it.

 

I would love to hear from any male poster who can state that they never masturbated when they were in their youth.

 

I think that there are multiple factors, but yes, I do believe that porn and masturbation addiction is a significant factor.  Addicts live in isolation from all things spiritual.  Porn especially numbs out the soul.  I know because I have been there and had to work through the steps of recovery to know what the other side is like.  When you have the factor of a numbed out soul, there is no spiritual anchor for when the winds start to blow.  Porn makes one spiritually unstable, but it usually requires another factor (disillusionment, anger towards parents, offense, etc.) to push one over.   I did not leave the church because I was lucky enough to have some recovery before the winds started blowing in my life, and blow they have, but I now have an anchor that has kept me in the faith.  I would have been done for had I not submitted and yielded to the grace of God in recovery. 

Edited January 1, 2015 by pogi

[Jeanne]

1. It may be that leaving has nothing to do with sin.  Then..what would the reason be?

[Tacenda]

• It may be that leaving has nothing to do with sin. Then..what would the reason be?

ditto