Why Are Youth Leaving The Church?

[mnn727]

But they did leave at their own free will. Most likely because they wanted to gratify their sexual impulse. However, they were not forced out of the ward or branch. Also, one can have sexual relations outside of marriage and still come to church. No one is going to stand at the door with a no entry sign. And these days, most bishops are lenient toward the youth.

they left rather  than discussing it weekly with the  Bishop.

[california boy]

I guess I should have said public schools and numerous other venues... the point was that we've just about stripped Christ from all of the public (not necessarily just govt) areas that affect us, and children as they grow up... so why wouldn't "youth" not feel a particular connection to faith and the restrictive nature of religion, so they turn to the secular... and are influenced in the areas you cite...

GG

I am always surprised that anyones relationship with God is dependent on government scho or any other institution. Isn't teaching about God rooted in the family? Anyone relying on government to instill faith will probably be disappointrd

[why me]

they left rather  than discussing it weekly with the  Bishop.

But this is also a matter of choice. They don't have to discuss it with anyone. However, discussing it with a bishop, pastor or priest does hamper the impulse. This was my point too. Very few people wish to be hampered by a religion that has sin in it. Much better for the impulse if the preacher preaches the properity gospel or if a spiritual advisor just advises to get one with god through acts of goodness. No sin hampering necessary.

 

But the youth of today are very much influenced by the social media with friends partying and sharing it on facebook. It is very attractive to see photos of teenagers having a good time with other teenagers if one is a teen going to seminary.

Edited January 3, 2015 by why me

[Scott Lloyd]

And don't forget, Scott, religion and Chist have been stripped from the public schools so that they no longer have Christmas carols or programs that refer to the Savior's birth... no nativity scenes... only Santa Claus, etc  so as not to "offend " anyone... Christmas vacation became Winter Break... Christmas trees became "holiday" trees... Merry Christmas became Happy Holidays, and on and on until there is no honoring or reverence for the Christ... public places can no longer display the Ten Commandments without a fight... even Christian public prayer is no longer acceptable (but Muslims demand special rooms where they can pray several times a day like at the airport, etc).  In those LDS homes that do not have regular gospel centered family activities, or parents are inactive, it's even more understandable that the children would not continue in the faith.   

 

When I was a girl in Rialto, CA., the main thoroughfare was divided by a wide, grassy median about several blocks long... every Christmas the city put up a nativity scene on the block where the median intersected with the main highway... in the median all along the block leading to the nativity scene, there were life sized, painted wooden figures of the three wise men, the shepherds, their sheep, all moving toward the scene... I loved those figures and they were part of every Christmas holiday as I was growing up... today... of couse they are no longer... they might "offend" someone... or to leave the scene up they'd have to give equal time to any other group wanting to make a statement, including atheists, etc.

 

GG

all too true.

Several of the beloved traditional songs we sing at Christmas I learned as a schoolboy when we would practice for our Christmas pageants. I mourn the fact that my own little ones have not had and will never have a similar cultural experience despite being reared in the same area with a very similar demographic makeup as when I was in school.

[Garden Girl]

I am always surprised that anyones relationship with God is dependent on government scho or any other institution. Isn't teaching about God rooted in the family? Anyone relying on government to instill faith will probably be disappointrd

 

You are correct that one's spiritual teaching should come through the home... but if it is lacking or weak in the home, and also has been removed from everyday influence from other sources... like we used to have available (like celebrating Christ's birthday with Christmas, etc)  before we started stripping it away... then young people are more than likely not making a connection to faith and so turn to the secular world... and I think this can happen in LDS families as well.  I think this can be a partial answer to the OP as to why the youth leave the Church... I agree that anyone's relationship with God should not be dependent upon government/institutions and didn't suggest that it should be.

 

GG 

Edited January 3, 2015 by Garden Girl

[Stone holm]

I am always surprised that anyones relationship with God is dependent on government scho or any other institution. Isn't teaching about God rooted in the family? Anyone relying on government to instill faith will probably be disappointrd

I suspect that attempted force feeding of religion by the Christian Right has driven more young people from religion, than has the absence of teacher led canned prayers in public schools or the absence of religious icons in government controlled areas.

[california boy]

You are correct that one's spiritual teaching should come through the home... but if it is lacking or weak in the home, and also has been removed from everyday influence from other sources... like we used to have available (like celebrating Christ's birthday with Christmas, etc)  before we started stripping it away... then young people are more than likely not making a connection to faith and so turn to the secular world... and I think this can happen in LDS families as well.  I think this can be a partial answer to the OP as to why the youth leave the Church... I agree that anyone's relationship with God should not be dependent upon government/institutions and didn't suggest that it should be.

 

GG 

 

I never had a spiritual experience from learning Christmas songs in school.  There are many reasons why youth leave the church.  It is much more difficult to believe in the Book of Mormon, the Pearl of Great Price, and in fact that Joseph Smith was a prophet or even that the Bible is correct and come from God.  There are too many flaws that have been exposed.  This was not the case when I was growing up.  Many things the church taught as being true have been put into question by solid science.  If any youth are going to stay in the church, it will only come through spiritual experiences.  We fool ourselves if we think otherwise.  They have to love the gospel and love God and believe in what is being taught.  If they do not, then going to church becomes more like going to a social club.  

 

If going to a social club is inconvenient, or there are better things to do with your time, then they will leave.  Or, probably most important, if you start to disagree with what a social club teaches or represents, then there is good reason to leave.  This has become the case for many youth.  They don't agree with some of the current teachings.  They aren't willing to make the sacrifices asked of the church when they don't believe some of the policies currently being practiced by the church.  Blaming others like schools and government or immorality in the world is just diverting responsibility.  

[california boy]

I suspect that attempted force feeding of religion by the Christian Right has driven more young people from religion, than has the absence of teacher led canned prayers in public schools or the absence of religious icons in government controlled areas.

I completely agree with this as well.  When religion became political, then if you don't like the politics (which most youth disagree with) and you don't believe what is being taught on Sundays, then there is no reason to stay in the church.  Todays youth may very well be looking for a spiritual experience.  They just aren't finding it in the church.  They first have to find something to believe in that sounds right and true for them.  Let's face it, some of the things being taught in church goes against what most youth believe is right.  Can you force someone to believe in something they don't find to be true?  

 

If you want to know what the majority of youth believe, it is not hard finding the polls.  The church just wants to pretend that the polls are wrong or that the youth will support something they don't believe in.  When has that ever been the case??  People don't join a church they don't believe the teachings, why would youth stay in a religion that they have been born into, but don't believe.  Perhaps there was a time when many stayed in a church even when they didn't believe was true.  I think that time has passed for the youth around the world.

[Rob Osborn]

Secular humanism ideology in the public school system has done a lot to lead our youth away from the church. The Christian right is fighting to keep God in school where it has always been up until this humanism ideology came about. People do not realize that the worship of Satan and his plan is this secular humanism that is slowly and forcefully taking over the world. The above few posts I just read prove this ideology.

[Analytics]

Regarding Gee's original analysis, if people leave Mormonism for non-religion for the same reasons non-Mormon-religionists leave their religions, doesn't that imply that Mormons who stick with their religion do so for the same reasons non-Mormon religionists stick with theirs?

Overall, the whole analysis seems to miss the point. Does anybody believe that a single person was having a fulfilling religious experience in his church and then left, telling himself, "I absolutely loved the profound truth and spirituality of my old Church and was looking forward to being saved, but decided to leave God in pursuit of 'diversity'?"

[Bobbieaware]

Regarding Gee's original analysis, if people leave Mormonism for non-religion for the same reasons non-Mormon-religionists leave their religions, doesn't that imply that Mormons who stick with their religion do so for the same reasons non-Mormon religionists stick with theirs?

Overall, the whole analysis seems to miss the point. Does anybody believe that a single person was having a fulfilling religious experience in his church and then left, telling himself, "I absolutely loved the profound truth and spirituality of my old Church and was looking forward to being saved, but decided to leave God in pursuit of 'diversity'?"

How about, "I decided to leave my religion (that I was only semi-converted to anyway) so that I could break or ignore the commandments, and thereby satisfy the lusts and desires of the natural man, without having to feel so convicted and guilt-ridden."

Edited January 3, 2015 by Bobbieaware

[Stone holm]

Secular humanism ideology in the public school system has done a lot to lead our youth away from the church. The Christian right is fighting to keep God in school where it has always been up until this humanism ideology came about. People do not realize that the worship of Satan and his plan is this secular humanism that is slowly and forcefully taking over the world. The above few posts I just read prove this ideology.

I don't think so. Humanism is religiously neutral as far as the public schools are concerned, and religious freedom requires that public schools be secular in nature, if they weren't the Church would still be running primary and secondary schools because the schools would be overtly anti Mormon. Right now some of the most violent areas on earth are areas where religious theocracies are either established or trying to be established. It would be no different if we had a Christian based theocracy.

[JLHPROF]

How about "I decided to leave my religion (that I was only semi-converted to anyway) so that I could break or ignore the commandments, and thereby satisfy the lusts and desires of the natural man, without having to feel so convicted and nguilt-ridden."

 

I think that's a bit cynical and not the reason for even a large minority.  But I also think that religious doubting is also a small portion.

I truly believe the majority of people who choose to leave do so for some social reason - convinced there's a better option by friends, family, other religions, significant others.

 

For example, being a part member family is a VERY challenging life.  Many faithful members succeed at it, but I have seen many young people leave the Church when they fall in love with a non-member.  Far more than I have ever seen leave to pursue a sinful life or because they have found information that makes them leave.

[readstoomuch]

All of these I agree with. We are going to expose our children to secular education. We have to send our kids to other churches schools otherwise. Gays/SSM have been huge for my older kids to overcome. Women and the priesthood is a big deal for my oldest daughter and she is active in Ordain Women.

Women and the temple and the temple in general are other issues. We are scared to talk about the temple and my kids and there spouses all struggle with the temple, That is with extra effort on my part. The subjugation of women is particularly a touchy issue. Isn't there some forum to speak about it (temple) at Church. Reverently and even define what details can only be discussed inside the temple. How about Masonry and the temple. I have been asked to speak to several members who took off their garments after reading about Masonry. The missionaries asked me to speak to them. Four in the last year. How successful I was, I don't know. There are books about Masonry and the Temple in general. The most useful ones were not printed by Deseret Book or come out of manuals used in Church.

In my own case, when I was 21 and just back from my mission I had read the Mormon Experience, Donna Hills First Mormon, No Man Knows My History, etc trying to find answers to questions I had while on my mission. No one around could really answer or talk to me much about the issues. The local LDS book store owner said I was the local historian. At one point, I came close to leaving the Church. I didn't trust what they said any more. I felt lied to and let down. The essays are a start, but in my case they came 32 years later. Luckily I decided to stay buy I still have the question in my mind about how much the Church is supposed to bring up. The Adam-God theory and Blood Atonement would be other good essays.

Finally, all churches and religions are losing youth. What a great ecumenical activity it could be to brainstorm with other organizations. Isn't it really the biggest issue facing organized religion?

[Tacenda]

All of these I agree with. We are going to expose our children to secular education. We have to send our kids to other churches schools otherwise. Gays/SSM have been huge for my older kids to overcome. Women and the priesthood is a big deal for my oldest daughter and she is active in Ordain Women.

Women and the temple and the temple in general are other issues. We are scared to talk about the temple and my kids and there spouses all struggle with the temple, That is with extra effort on my part. The subjugation of women is particularly a touchy issue. Isn't there some forum to speak about it (temple) at Church. Reverently and even define what details can only be discussed inside the temple. How about Masonry and the temple. I have been asked to speak to several members who took off their garments after reading about Masonry. The missionaries asked me to speak to them. Four in the last year. How successful I was, I don't know. There are books about Masonry and the Temple in general. The most useful ones were not printed by Deseret Book or come out of manuals used in Church.

In my own case, when I was 21 and just back from my mission I had read the Mormon Experience, Donna Hills First Mormon, No Man Knows My History, etc trying to find answers to questions I had while on my mission. No one around could really answer or talk to me much about the issues. The local LDS book store owner said I was the local historian. At one point, I came close to leaving the Church. I didn't trust what they said any more. I felt lied to and let down. The essays are a start, but in my case they came 32 years later. Luckily I decided to stay buy I still have the question in my mind about how much the Church is supposed to bring up. The Adam-God theory and Blood Atonement would be other good essays.

Finally, all churches and religions are losing youth. What a great ecumenical activity it could be to brainstorm with other organizations. Isn't it really the biggest issue facing organized religion?

I love reading your posts, my heart breaks for you on one hand and then again I believe you are going to make it all work too.  I feel you've been there and done that and still sticking around and that gives me pause to not jump ship a lot of times.  I think our youth are actually very savvy to church history now, with it being on the internet etc.  The church is smart to put it out there, maybe somewhat late or maybe just in time for the youth and their smartphones.  I know a lot on here think it's secularism, and that may be.  But kids are also into conspiracy theories (my son and maybe myself sometimes) and if they've been mislead or kept in the dark, they are very smart and will probably just not trust the church. 

 

But the reason I'm quoting you is what you said about our church and other churches needing to get together.  I think the youth are not the youth of yesteryear.  They embrace others differences, and the longer we segregate from others the worse it will get.  I love the church's strides to work with other organizations for charity etc.  And believe the more we do this the better.  I think we can keep our youth through serving others even more than we already do, but reaching out to a bigger populace.  This may be the glue that keeps the youth in or brings them together.  And definitely if we keep a big tent, especially for our LGBT and Feminist brothers and sisters, yay!  And I think that will be the Christian thread that binds us. 

 

Currently my youngest son, he's 17, has been hardly active in church.  But the other night, his young men's leader called and asked him to help unload some hay for a ward member that had had a heart attack.  My son was right on it and over there showing off his muscles ha-ha!  But I do think it helped him feel good to serve.  So there's hope, of course there are other organizations non church that do things too.  But it's a start, and I do know that we've had service in our church from the beginning of time.  But working with other churches more may be the answer too.         

[Rob Osborn]

I don't think so. Humanism is religiously neutral as far as the public schools are concerned, and religious freedom requires that public schools be secular in nature, if they weren't the Church would still be running primary and secondary schools because the schools would be overtly anti Mormon. Right now some of the most violent areas on earth are areas where religious theocracies are either established or trying to be established. It would be no different if we had a Christian based theocracy.

I dont believe that for a second. Humanism is a way that Satan uses to disrupt religion and remove any and all reference to God and morality from the publics eye. At least our lawmakers still pray to God before they pass laws.

[readstoomuch]

I love reading your posts, my heart breaks for you on one hand and then again I believe you are going to make it all work too.  I feel you've been there and done that and still sticking around and that gives me pause to not jump ship a lot of times.  I think our youth are actually very savvy to church history now, with it being on the internet etc.  The church is smart to put it out there, maybe somewhat late or maybe just in time for the youth and their smartphones.  I know a lot on here think it's secularism, and that may be.  But kids are also into conspiracy theories (my son and maybe myself sometimes) and if they've been mislead or kept in the dark, they are very smart and will probably just not trust the church. 

 

But the reason I'm quoting you is what you said about our church and other churches needing to get together.  I think the youth are not the youth of yesteryear.  They embrace others differences, and the longer we segregate from others the worse it will get.  I love the church's strides to work with other organizations for charity etc.  And believe the more we do this the better.  I think we can keep our youth through serving others even more than we already do, but reaching out to a bigger populace.  This may be the glue that keeps the youth in or brings them together.  And definitely if we keep a big tent, especially for our LGBT and Feminist brothers and sisters, yay!  And I think that will be the Christian thread that binds us. 

 

Currently my youngest son, he's 17, has been hardly active in church.  But the other night, his young men's leader called and asked him to help unload some hay for a ward member that had had a heart attack.  My son was right on it and over there showing off his muscles ha-ha!  But I do think it helped him feel good to serve.  So there's hope, of course there are other organizations non church that do things too.  But it's a start, and I do know that we've had service in our church from the beginning of time.  But working with other churches more may be the answer too.

Well, it is always nice when someone agrees with you or likes what you say. I learn from many people that post on this discussion board, for the very reason that it isn`t what I usually get to hear at Church. Fortunately, there are a number of intelligent people in my ward who read, so I have small bits of conversations here and there. Since, I believe in Christ, more specifically the Mormon take on Christ; then I decided to make it work come hell or highwater. I don`t know why it takes so long for the Church to respond. Something like the essays could have been available a number of years ago. I don`t learn much from all of the new books and essays about our history. Most of the issues were the exact ones I struggled with and could be read about, granted with some effort 32 years ago.

I can give you one thought about Joseph Smith I had years ago. He was a remarkable man/prophet who was also flawed (as am I). I decided that I have my relationship with Christ and he had his. If he made some mistakes, then he will have that to discuss with Christ and I will have mine. I don`t do well with sanitized Joseph Smith (or any Church leader) history and I look for truth in all of Christianity, but I found the tools to go forward no matter what is said or comes out about the Church. It helps to decide to make it work and not wonder whether the other shoe is going to drop. Now, getting my kids to do the same is another argument.

[Calm]

. At least our lawmakers still pray to God before they pass laws.

Hopefully some of them mean it too.

[why me]

I love reading your posts, my heart breaks for you on one hand and then again I believe you are going to make it all work too.  I feel you've been there and done that and still sticking around and that gives me pause to not jump ship a lot of times.  I think our youth are actually very savvy to church history now, with it being on the internet etc.  The church is smart to put it out there, maybe somewhat late or maybe just in time for the youth and their smartphones.  I know a lot on here think it's secularism, and that may be.  But kids are also into conspiracy theories (my son and maybe myself sometimes) and if they've been mislead or kept in the dark, they are very smart and will probably just not trust the church. 

 

         

I find it amazing that lds youth need to know lds history but religious youth of other faiths have no need to know their history because no one cares about their history.It seems that only the lds youth need to be experts in their religion. I have no idea just how this has all happened but certainly the critics do have some responsibility in all this. They found an issue to influence lds members and lds members seem not to have the critical skills necessary to see that it is all a sham. I wonder if catholic youth are searching out catholic history and leaving the faith because of the crusades etc? Or if lutheran youth are also searching their history and leaving the fold over luther's antisemitism? I dobut it. 

 

But lds youth must know their history. 

[why me]

Well, it is always nice when someone agrees with you or likes what you say. I learn from many people that post on this discussion board, for the very reason that it isn`t what I usually get to hear at Church. Fortunately, there are a number of intelligent people in my ward who read, so I have small bits of conversations here and there. Since, I believe in Christ, more specifically the Mormon take on Christ; then I decided to make it work come hell or highwater. I don`t know why it takes so long for the Church to respond. Something like the essays could have been available a number of years ago. I don`t learn much from all of the new books and essays about our history. Most of the issues were the exact ones I struggled with and could be read about, granted with some effort 32 years ago.

 

In a biography about hyrum smith published by the church publishing company in 2003, all is mentioned about polygamy and hryum's struggle with it etc. So, the members who read this book pretty much knew all about joseph's polygamy. But who reads books these days? Not many. So, even today, a person could claim that the church hides its history not realizing that the book was published years ago about it and other issues at that time. Back in the day, people read books since the computer was not around. Now, it is just skimming critic sites and believing what they say for confirmation bias. 

 

http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/2061601.Hyrum_Smith

 

I find it all very frustrating. 

Edited January 3, 2015 by why me

[readstoomuch]

I agree that in small doses Deseret Book has at least moderately covered many topics. Not polyandry or Adam God, but many. I also agree about what you said about youth and history. For me spending two years talking about the one true Church, it did set me up expecting more consistency in the history. Like the attitude I think the Church is heading towards now. I personally think we need to own the history of polygamy better. My 2 cents.

[why me]

I agree that in small doses Deseret Book has at least moderately covered many topics. Not polyandry or Adam God, but many. I also agree about what you said about youth and history. For me spending two years talking about the one true Church, it did set me up expecting more consistency in the history. Like the attitude I think the Church is heading towards now. I personally think we need to own the history of polygamy better. My 2 cents.

The hyrum book was published 12 years ago. It had much information that many now claim that the church hides. I don't think that it is up to a faith to write its history. Rather it is up to historians. Most catholic history books are written by historians. I don't think that the vatican is into writing about catholic history. Likewise for other churches. And if churches did write their own histories, I am sure that it would be a little bias. I can assure you that if the lds church would write its official history and everything that the critics say would be in it, the critics would still disagree with the lds interpretation. 

 

Basically, it all comes down to testimony. I would think adam god has been covered in biographies about BY etc. But again it is up to the historian writing the book. 

 

Here is spencer w. kimball speaking about adam-god. But who was listening? I suppose that every year the church should speak about the same controversial topics over and over again, complete with a final exam. 

 

 

 

https://www.lds.org/general-conference/1976/10/our-own-liahona?lang=eng

 

But that was years ago when I was just a young adult. Of course, we knew more back then. And this is also from the seventies in the ensign. I remember that it was often discussed among the members and so we have this from the ensign back then:

 

Well, he took that advice and was kind enough to follow it. Another case is the one of those who talk about the “Adam-God” theory; I guess when they are engrossed with all these different theories, and things in the Church, they don’t have time to study faith and repentance. Maybe they ought to get back to basics. And when they understand everything about faith, then they can move on to the next principle.

 

https://www.lds.org/general-conference/1975/04/a-self-inflicted-purging?lang=eng&query=adam-god

Edited January 4, 2015 by why me

[why me]

 For me spending two years talking about the one true Church, it did set me up expecting more consistency in the history. 

People make history and since people are not perfect, no history can be perfect. I know of no perfect history. A true church can never have a drum tight history because its leaders are imperfect as our its members. 

 

All history is up for interpretation and facts are constantly being reinterpreted. It is an endless cycle. 

[readstoomuch]

I remember this talk by SWK, who was an outstanding prophet. I also remember Mark R Petersens book Adam Who is He. I got the message that we didn't believe it any more,but who and what was the Adam God about. It only took a couple of hours in the Journal of Discourses to come to great confusion. Who was right, the anti mormon who gave me a handout or the official Church line? Could BY and SWK sit down and come to some agreement? Yes. I am sure of it. Was it taught more extensively in some circles in the 1850-1870 era than I thought as a missionary? Yes, I am sure of it. It wasn't covered in Leonard Arringtons biography of Brigham Young.

[Kaleb Webb]

 

 

Such, for instance, is the Adam-God theory. We denounce that theory and hope that everyone will be cautioned against this and other kinds of false doctrine.

I don't know if I would call that "at least moderately covering the topic." That's literally everything SWK says about it in the entire talk.

 

 

I also remember Mark R Petersens book Adam Who is He.

I'm not familiar with that one, but it sounds interesting. 

 

 

Secular humanism ideology in the public school system has done a lot to lead our youth away from the church. The Christian right is fighting to keep God in school where it has always been up until this humanism ideology came about. People do not realize that the worship of Satan and his plan is this secular humanism that is slowly and forcefully taking over the world. The above few posts I just read prove this ideology. 

From my own experience, I never saw this as a problem. The only subject that was really secularized at school was my science class. We talked about religion in my history classes from elementary school onward quite a bit, but I grew up in Utah, so I don't know if that's different in other states or not.