Resignation/return

[Jeanne]

I know there have been at least a few.  Maybe some who have been exed and then returned.  Just wondering if there were some members here who have traveled this path and very curious as to who now sits on the fence.

 

Thanks,

Jeanne

[Duncan]

I know one who posts here ocassionally who left the church and returned to it, but I don't know if it's up to me to reveal that information

[Jeanne]

I know one who posts here ocassionally who left the church and returned to it, but I don't know if it's up to me to reveal that information

I understand and surely do not want to infringe on privacy.  This topic was just maybe asking for and estimated account as I seem to be the only one here left that resigned. 

 

Thanks again

 

Jeanne

[juliann]

Jeanne, I've seen several. I think there may be a couple who are active on the board. But I think most just go their own way once they lose the need to argue the church is false.

[ELF1024]

I know there have been at least a few.  Maybe some who have been exed and then returned.  Just wondering if there were some members here who have traveled this path and very curious as to who now sits on the fence.

 

Thanks,

Jeanne

 

I was excommunicated, but returned a few years ago, after about a decade off.

[Garden Girl]

Hello Jeanne

 

There have been several that I've known of through the years who have posted here and told of their journey out and back into the Church...

One of the more recent is Don Bradley who posted his story on this board, and also an article from the Salt Lake Tribune about his spiritual journey, and his return to the Church.  I think if you look him up in the members list you will be able to find the posts... If you PM him and ask for links, I think he will oblige.  I feel comfortable mentioning him because he has openly shared his story here.

The thing about Don's journey is that after he had his name removed, he went on a real spiritual quest for about two years where he examined numerous philosophies and various denominations... he said that the more he searched the more he was pointed back to the Church until finally his unbelief was shattered and he returned to Church, was rebaptized and received his priesthood and temple ordinances restored. 

I think you would find his story beneficial.

It would be my hope, Jeanne, that one day you will be able to resolve your issues and find your way back... while I never really lost my testimony, I did spend 30+ years as an inactive member.  When I reactivated in 1995, I started all over at square one... and here I am... a strong, Latter Day Saint woman.

 

GG

[Robert F. Smith]

Although she doesn't post here, a close friend of Don Bradley, Maxine Hanks, is another well-known personality who was excommunicated and who returned to the Church in 2012.  The anti-Mormons were particularly angry at her return.  I have known several others who have returned to the Church and find their testimonies quite remarkable.  This ought to give us pause when discussing or condemning excommunicants.  For we never know when or if they will return to the fold.

[Tacenda]

My first Sunstone I had the pleasure of listening to Don & Maxine, they were the highlight of the whole thing for me. Don lost a brother and I think that was a catalyst to him coming back to the church. Maxine went on a journey outside the church that from her talk, I gathered she wouldn't change for anything. She had some awesome experiences.

[Silhouette]

Deleted. Wrong thread. It's late.

Edited November 12, 2014 by Silhouette

[Jeanne]

Thank you all for your replies and good wishes.  There is not a lot of need for me to argue it just that I really do want to understand where strong LDS women can sometimes just ignore a big elephant in the room...

[bluebell]

Thank you all for your replies and good wishes. There is not a lot of need for me to argue it just that I really do want to understand where strong LDS women can sometimes just ignore a big elephant in the room...

I think it's usually because they don't believe there IS a big elephant in the room.

And thus likewise, some strong women probably wonder why you are so bothered by an imaginary elephant.

It's easy to project our own issues (or non-issues I guess) onto other people, but that doesn't usually get us any closer to understanding each other.

[oremites]

... a big elephant in the room...

 

I only visit here off and on and don't keep up on all the threads, so, if you don't mind me asking, what is the big elephant?

[Tacenda]

Jeanne, I'm pretty sure the majority of LDS women, strong too, don't want to live polygamy. You have a good point. But the ones that don't mind sometimes really just want friendship or someone to share household duties with. Or they don't want to be in charge of birthing all the spirits. Or they are very obedient and following through on faith. The ones that have no problems with it seem to think it will be different in the next life, not like the mortal world where we fall into human frailties or tendencies like jealousy etc.

I'd like to ask them if they were asked to live polygamy in this life what their answers would be. Probably the companionship and help in the house has crossed a few minds.

I remember the first time I saw that JS had more wives than Emma online. It was an anti site that came up, don't know why..just like porn . It had the excerpts of each wife, probably taken from "In Sacred Loneliness", and then a page that listed their names and ages and included the already married ones, it was a shock to my system and everything went in slow motion. I had a few days of wanting to know everything, which turned into years, but at one point a friend emailed (back before FB) shared something about a book much like the gold plates that had been found. That made me have hope that it was all true. I shared it with my sister's in law and one sister and explained that it gave me hope because I was struggling because of JS's polygamy, but that's all I said. A couple of them responded and I'm going to add in some of what they said to show you that strong women don't like it, because my sister's in law are so dedicated in this church. They are the most faithful people I know. But I'm on my phone right now, so in a little bit. ETA:  Two sister in law's replies.  They are strong women!

 

Dear ****

 

        I love you!  You have been through some tough situations during the past year.  I think Satan knows you are vulnerable at this time.  Polygamy is one subject I have to keep my mind off of, or I hate every man in the church!  Not really, but it has stirred many strong emotions in years gone by.  I think it was a difficult situation for all involved in every dispensation.  Anyone who thinks otherwise only needs to think about putting themselves in that situation and realize how hard it would be. 

 

        You got lucky when you married ****!  It was a wise choice!  **** and I just celebrated our 30th anniversary, and we both realize how blessed we have been through this union.

 

        **** just gave a talk in church a couple weeks ago about Testimonies.  One thing that stood out in my mind was that a testimony isn't something you get once and then you always have.  Your testimony is constantly growing or shrinking.  You must nourish it every day, or even the elect will fall away (and have fallen away!)  Hopefully we build up our testimony so that we can weather the storms of doubt when they arise.  If we know what source to look to for strength, that is 99% of the battle. 

 

        In our stake, our yearly theme is "Receive the Holy Ghost".  That requires action on our part on a minute by minute basis.  The more we are accustomed to listening to the still, small voice, we know immediately when we take a step in the wrong direction.

 

        One very cool thing about both your parents passing away is that they are on the other side now, but still have responsibilities to help you and your family.  Don't forget to ask Heavenly Father to let you feel close to them and ask for their help!

 

        I have been learning a lot about genealogy and the blessings that can be ours, and believe me, the veil is thin.

 

        I hope you had a good time at the Globetrotters the other night!  I remember going to one of their games when I was in Junior High.  I will never forget it!  It was so entertaining!

 

 

Dear ****,
I'm so sorry to hear that you have been struggling with your testimony.  I am glad to hear that **** has been a real strength to you.  Hope you continue to do well, when I have struggles I have found that reading the scriptures and prayer are the best help for me.  I'm sure that you have found that same thing to be true but sometimes it is the actions of another or little things done by another that makes all the difference and that makes us see the Lord's hand in our help.
Love,
****

 

Me:  Oops, maybe polygamy isn't the big elephant in the room.  I'll delete my post here if it wasn't meant to be, sorry to derail if it's the case!  I may have thought of another conversation on a different thread.  Told you I'm losing it!!
 

Edited November 12, 2014 by Tacenda

[cursor]

I have known several others who have returned to the Church and find their testimonies quite remarkable.  This ought to give us pause when discussing or condemning excommunicants.  For we never know when or if they will return to the fold.

 

Nor can one fully understand their decision(s) to leave.

 

True understanding of their action can only be appreciated by wearing their shoes. So many LDS, I feel, are so wrapped up in their own Mormon world, in their own ward/stake activities and friendships, and in their own LDS communal neighborhood, that thoughtful outreach to the fringe of membership, or to the non-member isn't in their plan (or lack of plan).

 

When I was thought-processing the value of my first marriage, I had gospel questions. Our bishop and his two counselors paid me a welcomed visit. We had an extended chat (about two hours), which included some of my serious and clear questions. They admitted that they didn't own immediate answers, but promised that they'd get back to me. Within the next six months, they never did.

[Scott Lloyd]

Nor can one fully understand their decision(s) to leave.

 

True understanding of their action can only be appreciated by wearing their shoes. So many LDS, I feel, are so wrapped up in their own Mormon world, in their own ward/stake activities and friendships, and in their own LDS communal neighborhood, that thoughtful outreach to the fringe of membership, or to the non-member isn't in their plan (or lack of plan).

 

When I was thought-processing the value of my first marriage, I had gospel questions. Our bishop and his two counselors paid me a welcomed visit. We had an extended chat (about two hours), which included some of my serious and clear questions. They admitted that they didn't own immediate answers, but promised that they'd get back to me. Within the next six months, they never did.

Does that mean they never did or that it took them over six months to do so?

Edited November 12, 2014 by Scott Lloyd

[cursor]

Actually, they never did ... over the course of more than 17 months (from that initial visitation date), up until my wife and I were divorced (after 13 years if temple marriage). This is while I was an instructor of the Elders quorum, BTW. After our divorce, I enjoyed no personal connection whatsoever from my bishopric, despite several personal proddings (by me). None of the three ever responded to my request for spiritual advice/input.

 

Fortunately, I (two years later) remarried and, by April of 2015, will have competed 26 years with my sweetie. Additionally, I enjoy a great relationship with my children and grandchildren. What I cannot understand is the absence of interest by designated Church leaders in helping me resolve former family issues.

Edited November 13, 2014 by cursor

[Jeanne]

 

Jeanne, I'm pretty sure the majority of LDS women, strong too, don't want to live polygamy. You have a good point. But the ones that don't mind sometimes really just want friendship or someone to share household duties with. Or they don't want to be in charge of birthing all the spirits. Or they are very obedient and following through on faith. The ones that have no problems with it seem to think it will be different in the next life, not like the mortal world where we fall into human frailties or tendencies like jealousy etc.

I'd like to ask them if they were asked to live polygamy in this life what their answers would be. Probably the companionship and help in the house has crossed a few minds.

I remember the first time I saw that JS had more wives than Emma online. It was an anti site that came up, don't know why..just like porn . It had the excerpts of each wife, probably taken from "In Sacred Loneliness", and then a page that listed their names and ages and included the already married ones, it was a shock to my system and everything went in slow motion. I had a few days of wanting to know everything, which turned into years, but at one point a friend emailed (back before FB) shared something about a book much like the gold plates that had been found. That made me have hope that it was all true. I shared it with my sister's in law and one sister and explained that it gave me hope because I was struggling because of JS's polygamy, but that's all I said. A couple of them responded and I'm going to add in some of what they said to show you that strong women don't like it, because my sister's in law are so dedicated in this church. They are the most faithful people I know. But I'm on my phone right now, so in a little bit. ETA:  Two sister in law's replies.  They are strong women!

 

Dear ****

 

        I love you!  You have been through some tough situations during the past year.  I think Satan knows you are vulnerable at this time.  Polygamy is one subject I have to keep my mind off of, or I hate every man in the church!  Not really, but it has stirred many strong emotions in years gone by.  I think it was a difficult situation for all involved in every dispensation.  Anyone who thinks otherwise only needs to think about putting themselves in that situation and realize how hard it would be. 

 

        You got lucky when you married ****!  It was a wise choice!  **** and I just celebrated our 30th anniversary, and we both realize how blessed we have been through this union.

 

        **** just gave a talk in church a couple weeks ago about Testimonies.  One thing that stood out in my mind was that a testimony isn't something you get once and then you always have.  Your testimony is constantly growing or shrinking.  You must nourish it every day, or even the elect will fall away (and have fallen away!)  Hopefully we build up our testimony so that we can weather the storms of doubt when they arise.  If we know what source to look to for strength, that is 99% of the battle. 

 

        In our stake, our yearly theme is "Receive the Holy Ghost".  That requires action on our part on a minute by minute basis.  The more we are accustomed to listening to the still, small voice, we know immediately when we take a step in the wrong direction.

 

        One very cool thing about both your parents passing away is that they are on the other side now, but still have responsibilities to help you and your family.  Don't forget to ask Heavenly Father to let you feel close to them and ask for their help!

 

        I have been learning a lot about genealogy and the blessings that can be ours, and believe me, the veil is thin.

 

        I hope you had a good time at the Globetrotters the other night!  I remember going to one of their games when I was in Junior High.  I will never forget it!  It was so entertaining!

 

 

Dear ****,

I'm so sorry to hear that you have been struggling with your testimony.  I am glad to hear that **** has been a real strength to you.  Hope you continue to do well, when I have struggles I have found that reading the scriptures and prayer are the best help for me.  I'm sure that you have found that same thing to be true but sometimes it is the actions of another or little things done by another that makes all the difference and that makes us see the Lord's hand in our help.

Love,

****

 

Me:  Oops, maybe polygamy isn't the big elephant in the room.  I'll delete my post here if it wasn't meant to be, sorry to derail if it's the case!  I may have thought of another conversation on a different thread.  Told you I'm losing it!!

 

 

Thank you Tacienda and all others who have responded.  You are right..the elephant in the room was polygamy.  I appreciate everyones thoughts and your own testimonies.  Perhaps in my own personal path I have felt less valued so I have many problems with that..and maybe just so tired of trying to prove something.  I still have prayer, and you would all be surprised that I do hold some very strong beliefs of the Mormon church.  I just need to get away from what I feel and that is because I am female, I am a child of a lessor god.

 

Hugs..Jeanne

 

Edited to add:  I, too, after years of inactivity decided to get back into the Church after my husband passed away..Death in the family definitely changes things and I have heard Don Bradley's story.  I am really not the bad apostate that y'all think...

Edited November 13, 2014 by Jeanne

[Mystery Meat]

Thank you Tacienda and all others who have responded.  You are right..the elephant in the room was polygamy.  I appreciate everyones thoughts and your own testimonies.  Perhaps in my own personal path I have felt less valued so I have many problems with that..and maybe just so tired of trying to prove something.  I still have prayer, and you would all be surprised that I do hold some very strong beliefs of the Mormon church.  I just need to get away from what I feel and that is because I am female, I am a child of a lessor god.

 

Hugs..Jeanne

 

I feel for you. WIthout taking away from your feelings or trying to undermine your feelings, as a man in the modern church I actually feel like I am a child of a lessor god. Funny how that works. I could go into depth on why that is, but I know a lot YSA aged young men feel the same way I do having talked with more than a few about the topic. 

 

Because you feel the same way as a woman, this tells me that these feelings are coming from the same source. 

[Robert F. Smith]

Actually, they never did ... over the course of more than 17 months (from that initial visitation date), up until my wife and I were divorced (after 13 years if temple marriage). This is while I was an instructor of the Elders quorum, BTW. After our divorce, I enjoyed no personal connection whatsoever from my bishopric, despite several personal proddings (by me). None of the three ever responded to my request for spiritual advice/input.

 

Fortunately, I (two years later) remarried and, by April of 2015, will have competed 26 years with my sweetie. Additionally, I enjoy a great relationship with my children and grandchildren. What I cannot understand is the absence of interest by designated Church leaders in helping me resolve former family issues.

Maybe they suffered a stupor of thought.

[Calm]

What I cannot understand is the absence of interest by designated Church leaders in helping me resolve former family issues.

They may have intended to help, even looked for suff but did not find anything they felt was of value at first, meant to keep looking but got sidetracked and forgot.

I used to have a practically perfect memory and was rather judgmental about people letting others slip through the cracks for whatever reason (for stuff one meant to do for others in and out of the Church). By the time my second kid comes along I discover I am forgetting some major things in my life (like a six week visit by my mom). Having been humbled, I tend to give people a pass on remembering unless I know they've been reminded at least several times about it. Life is just very crowded and we may end up having a lot less control over our brains/memories then we realize.

[pogi]

I really do want to understand where strong LDS women can sometimes just ignore a big elephant in the room...

 

Then there are some women who are so consumed with the elephant that they don't notice the tiger right behind them. 

[Rain]

Edited to add: I, too, after years of inactivity decided to get back into the Church after my husband passed away..Death in the family definitely changes things and I have heard Don Bradley's story. I am really not the bad apostate that y'all think...

I think you may be projecting your own feelings on to other people. I've never thought of you as a " bad apostate". I was very confused when I first started reading things you had written I wondered why you felt everyone else had such a bad opinion of you. Maybe since I am new to this board I never saw you being argumentative and critical in your earlier years here? But that doesn't seem to be your nature.

I don't know. Sometimes it seems you want people to thrash you for leaving the church. But anyone that has read the scriptures or conference will be saying, "come back. We need and miss you."

[Avatar4321]

I have know several people who were excommunicated. One has been rebaptized. Another is in jail for a long time and still claims to believe. Two others are working to the point where they will be rebaptized.

none that I know of had an issue with the doctrine.

it seems to me that when you have a testimony that the Book of Mormon is true, then plural naariagr resolves itself

[DonBradley]

Since my journey and Maxine's have been mentioned, here is a link to Peggy Stack's Trib article on my journey:

 

http://www.sltrib.com/sltrib/faith/54790798-80/bradley-mormon-faith-smith.html.csp

 

Here is her article on Maxine's journey:

 

http://www.sltrib.com/sltrib/mobile/54514350-68/church-excommunicated-faith-hanks.html.csp

 

 

Here are our "Pillars of My Faith" talks:

 

https://www.sunstonemagazine.com/pillars-of-my-faith-2012/

 

 

Here is the first part of a (long) FAIR podcast I did with Steve Densley:

 

http://blog.fairmormon.org/2012/11/28/keeping-the-faith-5a-don-bradley-seeing-with-an-eye-of-faith-pt-1/

 

And here is a panel discussion at the 2013 FAIR Conference on leaving and returning that I did with Maxine and with Janet Eyring and Bill Reel, both of whom also left the church and returned:

 

http://www.fairmormon.org/perspectives/fair-conferences/2013-fair-conference/2013-the-loss-and-rekindling-of-faith

 

 

Don

Edited November 17, 2014 by DonBradley

[Tacenda]

Thanks Don, I hope I didn't mislead anyone with my comment about your brother being a catalyst to your returning to the church. If I have I'm terribly sorry. Thanks for these links, I haven't heard the one with Bill, Maxine and Janet, so will anxiously listen, or read! Thank you, hope you're doing awesome!

Edited November 14, 2014 by Tacenda