Did We Pick Each Other

[GingerRed]

I don't believe it. We don't get to pick and choose. If so...and I hate to say it...but there's NO way I would have picked my parents!!

God chooses where He wants us.

[Calm]

I don't think we had the knowledge to be able to make such a choice so either God makes the choice for us either precisely or among a set of possibilities or it's random or a combination. As I said above, I wouldn't be surprised if we were informed ahead of time and sustained the choice though.

[Traela]

I don't believe we choose... there are just too many variables involved...

I don't even believe we agree at some point... who would agree to be born to an abusive parent, or into hunger and deprivation in a slum, or underdeveloped country where famine and disease are rampant.

However it works, I don't understand it... there's too much heartache and suffering associated with many children born into various circumstances that it takes every ounce of my faith to trust in the Lord and believe that these little ones will one day be blessed and comforted.

GG

I had a friend in college who chose his particular major because he "wanted a challenge." I can absolutely believe that there are some spirits who ask for the most difficult challenge Heavenly Father is willing to give them. I've also heard that some spirits are born into abusive families in order to purify and redeem that line. In that case, I can see a spirit looking at a family and remembering how they were before, and having enough love to be willing to take on that assignment.

Then there are the spirits whose only assignment is to receive a body. I'm sure Heavenly Father reassures them that even though their earthly existance might be horrible, it will only last a little while, and then all will be well.

[rodheadlee]

I don't know about parents. But I knew my wife was my soulmate from the first second I laid eyes on her. Is love at first sight a recognition of someone you knew in the premortal life?

[Saints Alive]

I don't know about parents. But I knew my wife was my soulmate from the first second I laid eyes on her. Is love at first sight a recognition of someone you knew in the premortal life?

I don't remember if it was someone in the first presidency or quorum but it has been said that the idea of a soul mate is patently false. It would go against agency.

[emeliza]

^{I agree with Cinepro. I don't think it is likely that we had a choice or when, where or who we ended up with. I can't say for certain on that, but that is my thought process. I think that the challenge was more along the lines of just making it through this life.}

[Mark Beesley]

The day I can comprehend in any degree the decision making process that attends the heavenly realms is the day I am perfected. Anytime we want to try and figure out what or why something occurred in heaven, we need to remember that the Lord has expressly told us that our ways are not His ways, and our thoughts are not His thoughts. Forming an opinion about whether or not we chose our mortal parents when we were disembodied spirits requires us to make assumptions about a dimension that at present is entirely foreign to us.

[Damien the Leper]

When it comes to parents...be forgiving, we are just finding our way in the dark. PA PA's are perfect. Dad's not so much.

Ever since my dad died, I would like to think that I have become more empathetic to the important place of parents. I realized that for too long I allowed myself to be victimized by the hurt both inflicted on me and delivered by me and I lost sight of what the love of family really meant and its relevance in my life. I can only hope that my father, whether just decaying in a coffin or living it up in some extravagant afterlife, can forgive me for my own wrongdoings.

[Duncan]

The day I can comprehend in any degree the decision making process that attends the heavenly realms is the day I am perfected. Anytime we want to try and figure out what or why something occurred in heaven, we need to remember that the Lord has expressly told us that our ways are not His ways, and our thoughts are not His thoughts. Forming an opinion about whether or not we chose our mortal parents when we were disembodied spirits requires us to make assumptions about a dimension that at present is entirely foreign to us.

I agree with that. I was talking the other day to a friend of mine and said that if I had different parents, certain other parents, I would be an elbow bending alcoholic, druggie living in skid row Lethbridge, Alberta. Yet There are people who are like that and I have no idea why them, that and the way out and why I am not like that at all. Funny though when I was on my mission a friend of my sister's lived with our family and she said that if she had my parents she would have gone nuts!

Edited October 24, 2012 by Duncan

[Mudcat]

Sunday in Elders Quorum we were discussing food storage, and someone mentioned that we needed to be ready to provide for our kids no matter what because after all they picked us to be there parents. My question is do you believe we picked our spouses, parents, and kids in the life before? I myself do not, my reasoning is that a lot of people are married multiple times anymore, so the question becomes which one did they pick. A lot of the times the ones that are married multiple times have blended families, so which parent did they kids pick, the biological parent, or the step parent? Just a couple of reasons why I don't believe we picked our families what are your thoughts?

Hi fatherofone,

Though, I don't buy into the notion of a preexistence, I do think that if I did cotton to such a notion, it's a fascinating topic. Lots of "what if's" on the subject.

I don't know all the in's and out's of LDS doctrine, but from what I have come to understand, I think the fellow who spoke in the EQ was speaking from where the "what if's" of such a concept have led, rather than any LDS doctrine I am aware of. That said, I agree in general with his sentiment that we should, as parents, should be prepared to support our children in hardship.

If you got to pick your kids, or your kids got to pick you .. seems like God would be respector of persons or God allows mutually consensual parent/child choosing in preexistence. Though that sounds quite complicated. I don't imagine that Jesus had to reach a mutual agreement with David to have David as a great, great, and so forth grandfather.

Your speakers comments are likely a heartfelt expression for his own particular love of his children. It's a bit general though and lots of paradigms don't fit it well.

The idea of sealing would seem like a moot point, if our children were prearranged. What would be the need in such a concept, if the deal were already settled?

Just some thoughts,

Mudcat

[Calm]

The idea of sealing would seem like a moot point, if our children were prearranged. What would be the need in such a concept, if the deal were already settled?

Good observation...

For me, there is an inherent unwritten contract that parents support their children in the best way they can all through their lives as a consequence of their choice to engage in actions that might result in offspring and that children who have been supported to the best of their parents' abilities owe the same to their parents even if they didn't get to choose their parents as they accepted the parental support. In the case where the child has rejected the parental support as soon as it was possible for them to do so, there may still be some obligation of care even if in return for care given them when they weren't accountable for receiving it. There is no need to appeal in my judgment to some prior arrangement to encourage the mortal connection though I suppose it might be done to appeal to those whose parents or children are not that attractive as relatives, to encourage family to grit their teeth and still attempt to keep the connection going no matter what.

Now abuse may negate that obligation of care (whether it's a parent abusing a child or the reverse) but at the moment I can't think of anything else that might do so.

How unfortunate and sad though if it is only a sense of duty or obligation that motivates a family member to support another. So much better when love is more than enough to motivate in all things.

Edited October 24, 2012 by calmoriah

[blackstrap]

Duncan,there is no skid row in Lethbridge. There is,however,a skid park.

Having a solemate does not necessarily mess with agency. It is just a recognition that you have of an ancient relationship.

[Calm]

Duncan,there is no skid row in Lethbridge. There is,however,a skid park.

Having a solemate does not necessarily mess with agency. It is just a recognition that you have of an ancient relationship.

Agency would include IMO choices made in the preexistence where I assume soulmates are not chosen for one by God, but rather they have chosen each other as portrayed in Saturday's Warrior. However, I don't believe in soulmates as in betrothing oneself in the preexistence though I have no issue with a sense of immediate connection in the here and now possibly arising from a prior relationship before birth.

I also don't believe there is only one person out there that is the best person to be partnered with for eternity, I think there are a number of them that will provide a variety of unique relationships all of which will allow us to maximise our joy and love once both have accepted the Atonement fully in their lives thus resulting in a partnership of two perfectly loving and understanding and supportive individuals aided in perfecting their relationship through their perfect relationship with God.

I don't believe anyone who is exalted would maximise one's happiness as I think sharing interests is part of what makes a relationship special and I don't believe everyone will have the same, identical interests in the next life so while I believe any committed, loving and faithful individuals could achieve a celestial relationship as I believe Pres. Kimball stated, I don't believe any mix and match relationship among the exalted would be equally joyful.

Edited October 24, 2012 by calmoriah

[ronin]

everything happens for a reason. that includes family relationships as well as friends. we all came to earth to learn and grow. I believe we each know exactly what we need to learn and also who best to help us learn that lesson while we are on this earth. sometimes that lesson is short lived and horrible but if we don't learn those lessons how will we ever truly understand this world enough to one day create our own world? This is the point where I lose everyone reading this post because I also believe we don't just come down here once and call it good there is no way we can come down here once and learn everything necessary to return to our Heavenly Father. Of course there is the spirit world where we can gain all this second hand knowledge by talking to other people but a one time shot isn't what the Lord intended this world to be.

[Duncan]

Duncan,there is no skid row in Lethbridge. There is,however,a skid park.

Having a solemate does not necessarily mess with agency. It is just a recognition that you have of an ancient relationship.

friend of a friend is trying to get a skate park put in Lethbridge! maybe I can hang out there! haha! I am actually kinda interested in a girlie from there

Edited October 24, 2012 by Duncan

[Calm]

everything happens for a reason.

But there is a difference between that reason being the cause and that reason being the meaning we find within the experience itself. Edited October 24, 2012 by calmoriah

[ronin]

But there is a difference between that reason being the cause and that reason being the meaning we find within the experience itself.

can you expound on that for me I'm a little tired

[Bill “Papa” Lee]

Ever since my dad died, I would like to think that I have become more empathetic to the important place of parents. I realized that for too long I allowed myself to be victimized by the hurt both inflicted on me and delivered by me and I lost sight of what the love of family really meant and its relevance in my life. I can only hope that my father, whether just decaying in a coffin or living it up in some extravagant afterlife, can forgive me for my own wrongdoings.

Now that he can see alls things...let me assure that he has forgiven...out of love, and the fact that we must forgive to be forgiven.

[19nazzy]

I have a bit of a hard time with the idea of choosing our parents.. The DNA of the earthly Father/Mother come into play of what the child looks like. If one 'chose' their parents in heaven, wouldn't they already look like them because we read that our spirits are recognizable as to how we were on earth (to some degree).

[Calm]

I have a bit of a hard time with the idea of choosing our parents.. The DNA of the earthly Father/Mother come into play of what the child looks like. If one 'chose' their parents in heaven, wouldn't they already look like them because we read that our spirits are recognizable as to how we were on earth (to some degree).

Are we recognisable by 'looks' or perhaps something else that our brains sense as appearance?

[Nofear]

Are we recognisable by 'looks' or perhaps something else that our brains sense as appearance?

Numerous near death experiences also give accounts of meeting relatives -- including grandparents. Sometimes the grandparent is youthful, sometimes the grandparent is elderly with gray hair. I'm not sure what to think about that.

There are accounts of pre-birth experiences where mothers have manifestations of their child before they are born. Their spirit body is a full grown adult body and yet the identity is recognized.

It's this latter clue that seems consistent with the idea that we have a certain sense of recognition that extends well past our 5 mortal senses.

Personally I suspect that while our spirit body eyes use stimulation from radiation to see (in direct analogy to what our physical body eyes do), I have no reason to suspect that our spirit body eyes use the same short, medium, and long cones that our physical eyes do. Indeed, accounts usually described a greater fullness of color and vibrancy in the spirit realms. It may well be that our spirit bodies are tetrachromats or better. The point being that will our spirit and physical bodies are phenotypically similar (e.g. we still have 10 fingers and 10 toes, noses, ears, eyes, teeth, etc) there are differences (e.g. do our spirit bodies have a developed coccyx?). But discussing this further would lead off into tangent land.

Suffice it to say, I agree, the only thing we seem to know for sure is that our spirit bodies and our resurrected bodies will be "recognizable" in some way by those who knew/know our mortal bodies.

[cinepro]

everything happens for a reason. that includes family relationships as well as friends. we all came to earth to learn and grow. I believe we each know exactly what we need to learn and also who best to help us learn that lesson while we are on this earth. sometimes that lesson is short lived and horrible but if we don't learn those lessons how will we ever truly understand this world enough to one day create our own world? This is the point where I lose everyone reading this post because I also believe we don't just come down here once and call it good there is no way we can come down here once and learn everything necessary to return to our Heavenly Father. Of course there is the spirit world where we can gain all this second hand knowledge by talking to other people but a one time shot isn't what the Lord intended this world to be.

Penny: I've gotten turned down for plenty of jobs. Even fired a few times.

Billy: I can't imagine anybody firing you.

Penny: Neither could I. Now, I can visualize it really well. But you know, everything happens--

Billy: Don't say for a reason.

Penny: No! No, I'm just saying "everything happens".

Billy: Not to me.

-Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog

Edited October 24, 2012 by cinepro

[Bill “Papa” Lee]

Ever since my dad died, I would like to think that I have become more empathetic to the important place of parents. I realized that for too long I allowed myself to be victimized by the hurt both inflicted on me and delivered by me and I lost sight of what the love of family really meant and its relevance in my life. I can only hope that my father, whether just decaying in a coffin or living it up in some extravagant afterlife, can forgive me for my own wrongdoings.

Your father and Heavenly Father can forgive anything...I would go to hell for my children, and Christ did for us. If you are not a parent I hope someday you are...then you will understand unconditional love; overflowing. And grand kids...total joy! I adopted my oldest and made her my own for that four wonderful grandchildren...and then understand how my adopted father could love me. I gave her my name and my heart...and I know God will let me in, if for no other reason. I have been her dad for 37 years now...she was one, and I got my wife and three others from the deal. Edited October 24, 2012 by Bill “Papa” Lee

[Ahab]

Sunday in Elders Quorum we were discussing food storage, and someone mentioned that we needed to be ready to provide for our kids no matter what because after all they picked us to be there parents. My question is do you believe we picked our spouses, parents, and kids in the life before? I myself do not, my reasoning is that a lot of people are married multiple times anymore, so the question becomes which one did they pick. A lot of the times the ones that are married multiple times have blended families, so which parent did they kids pick, the biological parent, or the step parent? Just a couple of reasons why I don't believe we picked our families what are your thoughts?

If I picked my family I must have been looking for a challenge!!!

Well, they're not so bad, I suppose. Over time I've come to accept pretty much all of them while thinking most of them did as well as they knew how to do.

Or maybe I did it because I wanted to look like I do now. Some are even more handsome than me, but I got a pretty good body out of the deal, without a lot of genetic problems like other people I know.

And I was born in America, rather than some other place without a lot of the good things we have here.

What movie was it where Julie Andrews sang something about must have done something good somewhere?

Maybe we all got to come where we came based on what we did, and how well we did what we did, before we came here.

[BlueDreams]

Sunday in Elders Quorum we were discussing food storage, and someone mentioned that we needed to be ready to provide for our kids no matter what because after all they picked us to be there parents. My question is do you believe we picked our spouses, parents, and kids in the life before? I myself do not, my reasoning is that a lot of people are married multiple times anymore, so the question becomes which one did they pick. A lot of the times the ones that are married multiple times have blended families, so which parent did they kids pick, the biological parent, or the step parent? Just a couple of reasons why I don't believe we picked our families what are your thoughts?

I don’t know about picking and choosing. But I know I was supposed to be in my very blended chunky family. I remember when I was younger wondering why I landed in my family when I could have (very potentially…my mom was planning to put me up for adoption) been in another. I always assumed my mom just couldn’t give me up. But the option was kinda taken out of her hands (the papers got lost by the agency and the couple surprisingly adopted another child in a short period of time, rendering it impossible for me to be adopted by them). When I first learned this there was an immediate sense of relief and I knew that this was exactly where God wanted me. I assume I probably didn’t choose …more like accepted/desired this place. The Lord would not place me against my will. And I would want to please the Father.

As for my children. That’s a very personal topic for me that entails a number of sacred promises/revelation. But let’s just say I know that there are specific children that I am supposed to raise one day. I don’t want any other children. They are mine.

And for spouses. Don’t know. I logically believe that there’s not just one out there. But my gut feeling says there’s not exactly a plethora of eligible options that are equally viable….at least for me.

So basically, I don’t know. I don’t believe we chose all willy-nilly. But I also strongly believe that our place in life is not happenstance and left to chance. Neither one seems reasonable. Our most important connections, especially, seem to be ones that would/should have significance not just here but before and after.

With luv,

Bd