Bombshell BYU announcement

[Jracforr]

On 3/2/2021 at 4:31 PM, The Nehor said:

Doubt it. They were overrun by English, Irish, Scottish, and Scandinavian converts. One person who tracked the pattern said there was a period where there were probably more people in Utah with European accents than without. The idea that Utah was a bunch of xenophobic Americans hiding in the desert is a bit overblown.

Note that I am not saying racism was not an issue then or now. I am saying I don’t think they would find the composition of BYU as odd as some may think.

Race and ethnicity are factors in life that cannot be avoided, and need not be a source of animosity. The Mormon converts are described in the Doctrine and Covenants, as being the first laborers in this last Kingdom. If this Church was founded primarily by British Protestant, this suggests that many other ethnicities are yet to be called to the same task and covenant, thus by the time the roll call is completed, the LDS Church will hardly reflect it’s founding fathers. The same process as noted in Christianity, where in it’s Jewish Roots are all but lost. A possible clue to the future of Mormonism is to be found in the location of Salt Lake City, which in my understanding, is the geographic equivalent of Paris in Europe, and Palmyra in Syria. Both cities are somewhat removed from British/Greek centers of population.

[CV75]

2 hours ago, AtlanticMike said:

Are you actually serious when you say minorities are treated like they're from a different planet? I waited till this morning to respond to you so I could gather some real world data, I understand that doesn't mean much to you, but oh well. I asked 10 "BIPOC" people if they felt like they are treated like they're from a different planet. My wife said no, my kids said no, My mother in law said she felt that way in the Philippines because of classism, that's why they moved here, and she loves the Philippines, she is still a part owner in a business there. I pick up a black guy who works with me every morning and showed him what you said, I cant tell you what he actually said  because I would get kicked off the board, but he said he has never felt that way and he has seen racism. I just asked a couple latino guys, one wasn't born here. They also said no, and the guy who wasn't born here sends money back to help his family in hopes that one day more can come live with him. Now I'm on the job site and asked two more guys if people make them feel like they're from a different planet. Again, they said no. 

    I personally have never treated anyone like they're from a different planet. I have never seen someone treat someone else like they're from a different planet. Is there racism, yes, racism is everywhere, including countries that are majority POC. Ehat I disagree with is the way people are going about dealing with it. To say everything is " Whiteys" fault is a step backwards. To make people out as victims is a step backwards and also hurts the generations that are growing up in a country that is now in love with labeling people as victims. Its really simple, if you let someone label you as a victim, your more likely to except what they tell you the cure is. Never taking the time to step back and actually question if what they're selling you is helpful.

My reply was contextual (Utah/BYU, “often,” “another”, metaphorical and an afterthought, etc.). My point was that the BYU report/recommendations apply to both domestic and international students and faculty.

You asked a different question, and I would say most of them gave you what they know you want to hear. That is my bias, of course, based on your posts.

[AtlanticMike]

49 minutes ago, BlueDreams said:

I have. The most uncomfortable experience was a cabin Trip I took with a friend and all of her friends who were all white ...mainly because it wasn’t short lived. The parents in another room very obviously did a double take with shock in their face when they saw me enter. And one of their college aged kids used several awkward and uncomfortable stereotypes about black people to try and jovially connect with me. Definitely fell flat. My father definitely has. He at some points in the past used it a little. He has a funny story of playing up his foreignness and assumptions of Africans to keep potential roomates from moving into their apartment. You’ve mentioned several times that you live in a diverse area and I’m assuming out east, from your name. That is a very different environment than UT, where the population is still vastly white. I have a friend from small town Idaho who talked about the first time she saw a black person. She was an adult at the time. Those experiences breed unfamiliarity where their exposure to the cultural experiences and black people in general are extremely limited and sometimes based more on TV or word of mouth than regular interactions. 
 

No I don’t. I’m half white and hold no shame in being such. There’s limits and faults in all groups of people. racism is one I’ve seen and had my large group of brown friends tell experiences of more than once. 
 

 Racism is not a limited, isolated and extreme experience.. extreme racism is. Kinda like how chronic liars are rare but lying isn’t. And again I’m not expecting perfection. This isn’t an all-or-nothing scenario where you’re either not racist or you’re not good enough to me. We all have poorly formed beliefs,blindspots, and assumptions about people/our world that are likely wrong or some degree of racist.  Early on in our marriage my husband pointed out one that I flippantly mentioned. I took note and changed my outlook and that was the end of it. I’m expecting nothing more from others. That we pause, listen, take note, and learn and change over time. 

 

I don’t believe in blinding myself to problems to make life “easy.” I’m quite okay with complicated, i strongly believe in working through and with problems, and I find better health and relationships in acknowledging complexity. I mentioned my mom twice in examples. Some of the things she’s said or done have been uncomfortable or even painful in the past. Some of those are racist things, most have nothing to do with race. I still love her and can do so healthily by acknowledging and naming her limits, at least to myself. When I didn’t that was when I struggled the most with her and with my sense of self. Denial is not freedom. 
I noted she assumed a genetic problem because of some poor notions about health and mixed kids. I should also note that she adores her grand baby and would spoil her silly if I let her. People are complex. I don’t need them to be perfect. I don’t need them to be without faults in order for me to then care for them. I would expect them to just to try to be a little better. And if they can’t then to allow me the privilege to set healthy boundaries.
 

With luv, 

BD 

Obviously you and I see things differently, but I also think we have alot to build upon, I hope you feel the same. I like talking to you because you make me think and take in a different point of view, that's important. So thank you for responding. 

     I have a funny story, but first dont take this the wrong way, I love this story. Out here where I live alot of latino families will live in a house with multi generations. Sometimes as many as 12 or so people, good way to save money. So I was doing a favor for a friend, he called me and said his neighbors had a ton of water come through their electric vent fan on the roof in the storm the night before and the daughters had water coming through the bedroom ceiling and dripping on the bed. So I rushed over there the next morning to take a look and sure enough the hood of the fan shroud was mostly the way off, had to be replaced. I knock on the door and the lady who opened it was surprised I was white, I could tell because she looked like was staring at a ghost. She didnt speak english so a guy came to the door who spoke enough english to show me the attic so I could disconnect the electrical to the fan. Well, apparently the whole time I'm in the attic a few of the women were really angry I was in the house and wondered why they couldn't of got a latino roofer to handle the job. The only reason I knew this was because one of the guys with me spoke Spanish and was outside rolling  on the ground laughing while listening to the women inside complaining about me being in the house, my guys were on the side of the house smoking cigarettes. 

   So instead of feeling offended or upset I ordered 4 pizzas, 2 dozen chicken wings and 2 two liters of Pepsi. When it arrived I paid for it and gave it to the one lady who was obviously the most upset. Then I told the guy that the new fan was free of charge and enjoy his day. 

    A week later I received a hand written letter from the 2 girls who had the leak in their bedroom thanking me for fixing the leak. To me that's how this whole race thing can get resolved. 

  Chicken wings fix everything, why dont they teach that in college 🤣🤣

 

Edited March 11, 2021 by AtlanticMike

[juliann]

1 hour ago, AtlanticMike said:

 

     I have a funny story, but first dont take this the wrong way, I love this story. 

 

I'll bet you do. If you have to say don't take this the wrong way you know exactly what you are doing. Your story was condescending, not funny. 

[Vanguard]

2 hours ago, AtlanticMike said:

Obviously you and I see things differently, but I also think we have alot to build upon, I hope you feel the same. I like talking to you because you make me think and take in a different point of view, that's important. So thank you for responding. 

     I have a funny story, but first dont take this the wrong way, I love this story. Out here where I live alot of latino families will live in a house with multi generations. Sometimes as many as 12 or so people, good way to save money. So I was doing a favor for a friend, he called me and said his neighbors had a ton of water come through their electric vent fan on the roof in the storm the night before and the daughters had water coming through the bedroom ceiling and dripping on the bed. So I rushed over there the next morning to take a look and sure enough the hood of the fan shroud was mostly the way off, had to be replaced. I knock on the door and the lady who opened it was surprised I was white, I could tell because she looked like was staring at a ghost. She didnt speak english so a guy came to the door who spoke enough english to show me the attic so I could disconnect the electrical to the fan. Well, apparently the whole time I'm in the attic a few of the women were really angry I was in the house and wondered why they couldn't of got a latino roofer to handle the job. The only reason I knew this was because one of the guys with me spoke Spanish and was outside rolling  on the ground laughing while listening to the women inside complaining about me being in the house, my guys were on the side of the house smoking cigarettes. 

   So instead of feeling offended or upset I ordered 4 pizzas, 2 dozen chicken wings and 2 two liters of Pepsi. When it arrived I paid for it and gave it to the one lady who was obviously the most upset. Then I told the guy that the new fan was free of charge and enjoy his day. 

    A week later I received a hand written letter from the 2 girls who had the leak in their bedroom thanking me for fixing the leak. To me that's how this whole race thing can get resolved. 

  Chicken wings fix everything, why dont they teach that in college 🤣🤣

 

Great story, AtlanticMike. Bridging potential conflicts with good-natured interactions and good will are exactly what we need more of. Anyone who would suggest otherwise doesn't get it or refuses to for their own purposes.

[BlueDreams]

4 hours ago, AtlanticMike said:

Obviously you and I see things differently, but I also think we have alot to build upon, I hope you feel the same. I like talking to you because you make me think and take in a different point of view, that's important. So thank you for responding. 

     I have a funny story, but first dont take this the wrong way, I love this story. Out here where I live alot of latino families will live in a house with multi generations. Sometimes as many as 12 or so people, good way to save money. So I was doing a favor for a friend, he called me and said his neighbors had a ton of water come through their electric vent fan on the roof in the storm the night before and the daughters had water coming through the bedroom ceiling and dripping on the bed. So I rushed over there the next morning to take a look and sure enough the hood of the fan shroud was mostly the way off, had to be replaced. I knock on the door and the lady who opened it was surprised I was white, I could tell because she looked like was staring at a ghost. She didnt speak english so a guy came to the door who spoke enough english to show me the attic so I could disconnect the electrical to the fan. Well, apparently the whole time I'm in the attic a few of the women were really angry I was in the house and wondered why they couldn't of got a latino roofer to handle the job. The only reason I knew this was because one of the guys with me spoke Spanish and was outside rolling  on the ground laughing while listening to the women inside complaining about me being in the house, my guys were on the side of the house smoking cigarettes. 

   So instead of feeling offended or upset I ordered 4 pizzas, 2 dozen chicken wings and 2 two liters of Pepsi. When it arrived I paid for it and gave it to the one lady who was obviously the most upset. Then I told the guy that the new fan was free of charge and enjoy his day. 

    A week later I received a hand written letter from the 2 girls who had the leak in their bedroom thanking me for fixing the leak. To me that's how this whole race thing can get resolved. 

  Chicken wings fix everything, why dont they teach that in college 🤣🤣

 

3 things in rapid succession came to mind all at once. 
1.) a book I “read” had an anecdote similar to what you mentioned by the author (if I’m remembering correctly. It was on audible, so I’m not apt to double check). But she was black and he was white and instead of buying food she worked to just help create human empathy/connection by talking about a similar experience she had that he could relate to. 
2.) my avid curiosity immediately wondered what were the reasons for her agitation about you being white. Since from Your description of events it sounds like you don’t speak Spanish and I wouldn’t expect you to know fully. Sometimes though the actions of prejudice are similar, the reasons behind them are very different. An example that comes to mind is a small group found out east in the area I served my mission in that a few of us would run into near Philly from time to time called the Hebrew Israelites. They’re ideology is blatantly racist/prejudiced. The reasons why are largely reactionary to communities and groups of people disproportionately harmed by historic and personal racism. To me, though they were wrong still, their behaviors were extreme pushback to racist experiences and problems that then confused the need for justice and fairness with a divine version of revenge (they believed white people would be slaves in the next life) and harshness. This was a different reasoning from another area in the same mission in DE/MD where there was a known stronghold of white nationalists who live there. Theirs was more about maintaining or reestablishing a proper order that recognized things like segregation to some degree, addressing a sense of displacement in “their own” country by minorities, and a glorification of a way of life that gave them better status simply by being white. To be frank when I got curious later on (post mish and maybe pre...can’t remember) and explored a prominent white nationalist site I found some of their common assumptions ones found in the larger society just watered down. 
3) the problem with anecdotes is that it still focuses on the individual experiences and not the systemic problems. And that’s kinda how I see this going if we keep talking stories rather than trends, stats, figures, and how social beliefs, structures, etc may have a disproportionately negative effect on communities of color. There is perceived equity and disassociation to the problems when it’s just small, individual and unrelated experiences. When it’s expanded to a larger picture and its causes are more explored that’s where it becomes more apparent this isn’t necessarily so. This doesn’t mean that I think any of these actions are good or acceptable reactions. Just that I think fixing them and other problems usually is only partially solved when only the most overt behaviors and problems are addressed. 
 

With luv, 

BD 

Edited March 11, 2021 by BlueDreams

[juliann]

Yes, that is the only possible reason that someone might find your story having little to do with what you think it does. You might want to remove vulgar memes, BTW.

There are several reasons why these women may have reacted as they did. What I found more interesting were the unnecessary elements you felt a need to include to put them in their place, so to speak. 

[Calm]

6 hours ago, AtlanticMike said:

You have a very dim view of white people. 

You are clueless about Bluedreams.  She has been on the board since before her mission.  Some of us have met her in real life as well as talk about families and life and everything elsewhere.  You might want to consider where you are going wrong.

Edited March 11, 2021 by Calm

[AtlanticMike]

1 hour ago, juliann said:

I'll bet you do. If you have to say don't take this the wrong way you know exactly what you are doing. Your story was condescending, not funny. 

So let me get this straight, I go to a house to help someone who has no money, I'm actually recommended to these people because my friend new I would pause whatever I was doing and help them the next day because that's what I do. I go over  there and right away can tell something is off from the reaction of the lady who answered the door but I go in and do what I need to do. Then when I come outside and my guys tell me that the women were very upset that I was white and inside the house. 

    In stead of packing up and saying, screw this, you can find someone else, i go to home depot, buy a $120  fan, come back and install it, all the while I have 3 guys with me. While we're cleaning up I order pizza, wings and Pepsi. When it arrives and I pay for it, then knock on the door and ask the guy if I can talk to the lady who answered the door. She comes to the door and I give her the food. The reason I bought the food is because they didn't have a refrigerator that worked, they were eating canned food and cereal with powder milk. When I was done I probably ended up spending around $400 in material and labor and about 3 hours total including driving. Because of that interaction I got a hand written letter from 2 girls thanking me which means alot to me.

    Somehow, from that story you see that I'm condescending and my story isnt funny. Well maybe your right about the funny part, maybe I should of said uplifting,  but I'm sure you would of poo pooed all over that to. 

 Juliann, because of how you view my story,   when I go home tonight I'm going to hug my wife and kiss her. I'm going to tell her, that she makes me feel like I'm the luckiest man on earth . That she is my queen! I'm going to offer to buy her what ever she wants because after reading your comment I would be stupid not to. I am without a doubt the luckiest man on earth. 

 

[AtlanticMike]

39 minutes ago, Calm said:

You are clueless about Bluedreams.  You might want to consider where you are going wrong.

Your right I am clueless about Bluedreams, and so is juliann about me, but somehow she still found the time to try to set me straight. But I like Bluedreams, atleast the little I know about her. That's actually why I told her I like talking to her so hopefully in the future we can talk some more. 

    So to Bluedreams, I don't know if you remember but the first time we talked months ago, you actually told me you are a progressive kind of gal, something like that. And  I think I said back that I was a conservative/ libertarian kind of guy. I want you to know that you being different than me doesn't bother me at all, not 1%. But also, I like reading your post because I also feel like we might have alot in common. I like talking to you and what I said earlier about I think talking to you is fun because you make me think, that's true. Actually, I think that's the best way to learn, different opinions help you realize who you actually are and help you develop a better understanding of people. 

    So, if you want, in the future if you see something I'm writing you think is total xxllxxit, call me on it, a little constructive criticism can be good. 

   Oh, and by the way, I like you to juliann.  I think in the future we might even be best friends😁

    

[Ahab]

36 minutes ago, AtlanticMike said:

So let me get this straight, I go to a house to help someone who has no money, I'm actually recommended to these people because my friend new I would pause whatever I was doing and help them the next day because that's what I do. I go over  there and right away can tell something is off from the reaction of the lady who answered the door but I go in and do what I need to do. Then when I come outside and my guys tell me that the women were very upset that I was white and inside the house. 

    In stead of packing up and saying, screw this, you can find someone else, i go to home depot, buy a $120  fan, come back and install it, all the while I have 3 guys with me. While we're cleaning up I order pizza, wings and Pepsi. When it arrives and I pay for it, then knock on the door and ask the guy if I can talk to the lady who answered the door. She comes to the door and I give her the food. The reason I bought the food is because they didn't have a refrigerator that worked, they were eating canned food and cereal with powder milk. When I was done I probably ended up spending around $400 in material and labor and about 3 hours total including driving. Because of that interaction I got a hand written letter from 2 girls thanking me which means alot to me.

    Somehow, from that story you see that I'm condescending and my story isnt funny. Well maybe your right about the funny part, maybe I should of said uplifting,  but I'm sure you would of poo pooed all over that to. 

 Juliann, because of how you view my story,   when I go home tonight I'm going to hug my wife and kiss her. I'm going to tell her, that she makes me feel like I'm the luckiest man on earth . That she is my queen! I'm going to offer to buy her what ever she wants because after reading your comment I would be stupid not to. I am without a doubt the luckiest man on earth. 

 

Some people just call things as they see them without doing much to try to explain their reasoning.  People who think that to be condescending means to explain things as if those they speak to can't figure things out for themselves.

My response to your story would be to ask you why you thought that woman was upset because you were white.  Maybe she just didn't know you were coming at that time and her reaction wasn't because of the color of your skin.  And then after finding out what you came to her house to do maybe she was just curious about why you were the one who was picked to come to her house to fix the problem.  Without her being a part of that decision.  But, anyway, because you thought the problem was because you are white you thought you could help them to feel better by buying them some pizza and soda.  Typical white folk food, without bothering to ask her and the rest of them what they would like to eat or if they would be okay with you buying them some food.  That sounds like good intentions on your part to me but maybe you should have just talked with them some more before making plans about what you would do for them.

Anywho, yes, all of us men are extremely "fortunate" to have found a woman to love who loves us and is willing to put up with us for the remainder of forever, or for however long the romance continues.  And our women are fortunate, too, if we truly love them.

[juliann]

57 minutes ago, AtlanticMike said:

So let me get this straight, I go to a house to help someone who has no money, I'm actually recommended to these people because my friend new I would pause whatever I was doing and help them the next day because that's what I do. I go over  there and right away can tell something is off from the reaction of the lady who answered the door but I go in and do what I need to do. Then when I come outside and my guys tell me that the women were very upset that I was white and inside the house. 

    In stead of packing up and saying, screw this, you can find someone else, i go to home depot, buy a $120  fan, come back and install it, all the while I have 3 guys with me. While we're cleaning up I order pizza, wings and Pepsi. When it arrives and I pay for it, then knock on the door and ask the guy if I can talk to the lady who answered the door. She comes to the door and I give her the food. The reason I bought the food is because they didn't have a refrigerator that worked, they were eating canned food and cereal with powder milk. When I was done I probably ended up spending around $400 in material and labor and about 3 hours total including driving. Because of that interaction I got a hand written letter from 2 girls thanking me which means alot to me.

    Somehow, from that story you see that I'm condescending and my story isnt funny. Well maybe your right about the funny part, maybe I should of said uplifting,  but I'm sure you would of poo pooed all over that to. 

 Juliann, because of how you view my story,   when I go home tonight I'm going to hug my wife and kiss her. I'm going to tell her, that she makes me feel like I'm the luckiest man on earth . That she is my queen! I'm going to offer to buy her what ever she wants because after reading your comment I would be stupid not to. I am without a doubt the luckiest man on earth. 

 

Now look how you cleaned up that story once there was an objection to your description of minorities. As Calm said, you might want to look at where you are going wrong. 

[AtlanticMike]

50 minutes ago, Ahab said:

Some people just call things as they see them without doing much to try to explain their reasoning

You mean like me😁😁. I'll admit I do it.

50 minutes ago, Ahab said:

My response to your story would be to ask you why you thought that woman was upset because you were white.  Maybe she just didn't know you were coming at that time and her reaction wasn't because of the color of your skin

No, it was because of my skin color, thats what they were discussing apparently. But it wasn't my place to ask why she felt that way. She could of just totally hated white people, but on the flip side she could of also of been raped by a white guy and that's why she looked at me that way, like I said,  not my place to find out why. The best thing I could of done is exactly what I did. I used kindness to hopefully set her at ease, maybe I did, maybe I didn't, I dont know,  but i did get a very nice letter from her grandkids, so someone in their house appreciated what I did.

50 minutes ago, Ahab said:

That sounds like good intentions on your part to me but maybe you should have just talked with them some more before making plans about what you would do for them

That's not me man, I'm a spontaneous kind of guy. It's gotten me pretty far in life. Besides,  the night before when my friend told me how they needed help and they didnt have much money, he had mentioned they were eating canned soup and using powdered milk for their cereal, gee whiz, all i was doing was trying to help. You think i should of taken in consideration there ethnicity before buying $70 of food? Besides it was like 11am, not many places deliver at 11am. 

    And I know what your saying, but personally,  I wish we had more people in the world who would go out of their way to just do something nice without worrying what people think. Maybe I'm just old school, but my mom taught me to be the nicest person I can be and I'm not going to change because someone might take offense. 

Great post by the way. Thank you for responding. 

Edited March 11, 2021 by AtlanticMike

[AtlanticMike]

18 minutes ago, juliann said:

Now look how you cleaned up that story once there was an objection to your description of minorities. As Calm said, you might want to look at where you are going wrong. 

Oh my gosh, I didnt clean it up, I added more details, it's the exact same story, sorry I'm not a word smith. 

[rodheadlee]

1 hour ago, AtlanticMike said:

Oh my gosh, I didnt clean it up, I added more details, it's the exact same story, sorry I'm not a word smith. 

This is why I cut my posting way down, I just don't communicate well with a key board. When I finally make a post that gets my point across the computer eats it. Keep posting I get your posts. 

[AtlanticMike]

21 minutes ago, rodheadlee said:

This is why I cut my posting way down, I just don't communicate well with a key board. When I finally make a post that gets my point across the computer eats it. Keep posting I get your posts. 

Thank you

[Ahab]

1 hour ago, AtlanticMike said:

You think i should of taken in consideration there ethnicity before buying $70 of food? Besides it was like 11am, not many places deliver at 11am. 

It would have been a considerate thing to do.  Some people actually do not like pizza and even I am not thinking of pizza at 11am.  That is still brunch time for me and I am thinking more about fruits and veggies. 

I hope it at least wasn't Hawaiian pizza.  The worst pizza.  My usual pizza is the combination of several meats and lots of veggies, but even then that is more of an evening food for me and only on rare occasions.

With $70 in cash they could have bought pretty much any kind of food they wanted, if they were hungry.  Just saying to explain my reasoning.

 

[rodheadlee]

Anecdotes are the stories of our lives. Data can be manipulated to fit your preferred scenario. You have to pay attention to both.

[AtlanticMike]

28 minutes ago, Ahab said:

It would have been a considerate thing to do.  Some people actually do not like pizza and even I am not thinking of pizza at 11am.  That is still brunch time for me and I am thinking more about fruits and veggies.

I understand what your saying, oh well, to late now. 

28 minutes ago, Ahab said:

pe it at least wasn't Hawaiian pizza.  The worst pizza.  My usual pizza is the combination of several meats and lots of veggies, but even then that is more of an evening food for me and only on rare occasions.

Isn't it against the law to put pineapple on pizza where you live, it is here, it's a class A felony punishable up to 25 years in prison😁. 

 

28 minutes ago, Ahab said:

With $70 in cash they could have bought pretty much any kind of food they wanted, if they were hungry.  Just saying to explain my reasoning.

True

Edited March 12, 2021 by AtlanticMike

[juliann]

2 hours ago, AtlanticMike said:

 

 but on the flip side she could of also of been raped by a white guy  

 What an odd, creepy thing to say. 

[The Nehor]

On 3/10/2021 at 7:15 AM, AtlanticMike said:

    First, to answer your example question. Let's say im an infirtile white dude, adopted a black kid with really dark skin and as soon as you looked at us standing side by side you new we weren't biologically father and son. Well, the first thing I would do to strengthen my relationship with my son is tell him when he's old enough to understand, that he was adopted, answer any questions, then tell him from that day forward in my mind he was my actuall son and that's what I'm going to tell everyone. As he's growing up, if anyone asked if he was adopt while my son was standing be side me,  I would say no, he's my son, why would you ask that. Of course my son knows he's adopted, but that's not the point, the point is letting my son SEE and HEAR that's he's so special to me I'm willing to lie and look like an completel idiot, so my son understands he is the most special person in the world to me. So to answer your question, yes in my mind my black son will carry on my family name, maybe not biologically, but in every other way he will, that's success, Calm.       

The irony is that if, in your example, you flipped the ethnicities and you were black and the kid was white while you were loudly insisting he was your son there is a pretty good chance some bystander would call the police.

On 3/10/2021 at 7:15 AM, AtlanticMike said:

What I teach my kids is the opposite of victimization. To me, that's what the black community needs, they need less Al Sharptons, and more Earl Woods.  My Philosophy in raising my kids is alot like Earl Woods. He told Tiger from a young Age he was the most special person on the face of the earth and nobody could beat him. It was drilled into him everyday. Tiger had people judge him, but because of his dad instilling that killer attitude, tiger used his skin color to his advantage and beat the crap out of everyone he played. He used the hate as motivation. 

How do you reconcile hate being a positive motivation with the gospel of Christ?

Edited March 12, 2021 by The Nehor

[AtlanticMike]

8 hours ago, The Nehor said:

The irony is that if, in your example, you flipped the ethnicities and you were black and the kid was white while you were loudly insisting he was your son there is a pretty good chance some bystander would call the police

I'm assumining your talking about if a black dad and white son came across a "karen"? Yes, that could happen. But, it could also happen with a white dad and black son. Again,  you go right away to bringing in "victimhood". You know, I've been watching a lot of mormon stories podcast and I'm moving away from the DNA and BOM episodes and getting into the more personal ones where he interviews mormons and exmormons. He likes talking about "privileged" and how some people have it and some dont, is that a big part of what you base your outlook on life? I'm asking so in the future I know better how you view the world, it's not a trick question, dont answer if you dont want to.

 

8 hours ago, The Nehor said:

How do you reconcile hate being a positive motivation with the gospel of Christ?

Well, some people do think about the lord when playing sports. Tim Tebow does,  wide receivers making a touchdown will often point to the sky and thank the lord. But, in sports I think you dont have to bring religion into the equation. You never played a sport and let the other teams hatred help fuel you to beat them? I did!! We had a team that over something like a 30 year period, had beaten us 2 times, they hated us when we played, so we used that hate for fuel. Nothing wrong with that, as long as you leave it on the field, the lord doesnt care. 

[AtlanticMike]

11 hours ago, juliann said:

What an odd, creepy thing to say

Keep reading my post Juliann, I have faith one day you'll find a glimmer of hope and joy. Positivity juliann, positivity! Love ya!!

[Calm]

4 minutes ago, AtlanticMike said:

the lord doesnt care. 

I wouldn’t assume that so confidently given the second greatest commandment doesn’t have the condition “except when playing sports” attached last I checked.

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew 22%3A36-40&version=KJV

[Calm]

15 minutes ago, AtlanticMike said:

Keep reading my post Juliann, I have faith one day you'll find a glimmer of hope and joy. Positivity juliann, positivity! Love ya!!

This kind of stuff might be appropriate if anyone had appointed you their life coach.

It is also against board rules:

Quote

Judging others worthiness, questioning sincerity, mind reading or psychoanalyzing...

 

Edited March 12, 2021 by Calm