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Bishops Asking This in Temple Recommend Interview?


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Trying to word this in a way that I don't get it blocked.  Is there a thing since 2015 that bishops are supposed to ask anyone, but specifically YSA, if they touch themselves? Or some such similar thing...

Edit: I am asking about adults in a singles ward, not youth.

Edited by Rain
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23 minutes ago, rpn said:

Pretty sure not.  The TR questions are the same for everyone. 

That's what I was thinking.  Just trying to figure out where the idea came from.

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I was under the impression they were warned not to go there unless asked.

We have several current bishops iirc on FM I can ask.  I don't think we have any here now, right?

Edited by Calm
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1 hour ago, Calm said:

I was under the impression they were warned not to go there unless asked.

My thinking that is for youth, but only in the last couple of years, but I could be wrong.    This is for YSA and earlier than that.

Edited by Rain
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My DH is currently serving as bishop. I’m pretty sure they aren’t supposed to go off-script for TR interviews. That being said, after our stake had a couple of missionaries come home early to address some morality issues, our stake president at the time told all the bishops to be a little more direct in their pre-mission interviews. I have no idea if that came from higher up or not. 

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Thank you. Someone I know really felt uncomfortable with this question.  A friend told them that since 2015 bishops were supposed to ask this question.

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41 minutes ago, bsjkki said:

Here are the guidelines. https://newsroom.churchofjesuschrist.org/multimedia/file/guidelines-interviewing-youth-2018.pdf

Short answer is no. Personally I don’t like this section. 

“When discussing obedience to the commandments, the bishop and his counselors make appropriate use of the limited-use temple recommend interview questions and the standards and explanations in For the Strength of Youth. Leaders adapt the discussion to the understanding and questions of the youth. They ensure that discussions about moral cleanliness do not encourage curiosity or experimentation.”

I don’t like some of the wording in The Strength of Youth. Using it as a guideline allows Bishops a big green light to discuss highly sexual matters with the youth. Who knows if this will happen or won’t or how well trained your Bishop is. 

Attend with your kids. I would not trust them with my kids...even well intentioned Bishops screw this up.

There is a link for the missionary temple recommend interview that is only for those authorized to get in and read it, it may be that on another board I saw something that someone c/p'd not sure, that did ask about what the OP is talking about. 

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1 minute ago, Tacenda said:

There is a link for the missionary temple recommend interview that is only for those authorized to get in and read it, it may be that on another board I saw something that someone c/p'd not sure, that did ask about what the OP is talking about. 

The person who told us about this 2015 was not talking about missionaries, but perhaps had mixed up memories concerning it.

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My stake for a few years added a bit to the law of chastity question asking it and following with something like “......the law of chastity including not consuming pornography” but they stopped in the last year.

I agree with what was said above that missionary interviews should be more searching and they are not temple recommend interviews. It is better to not go then to deal with the (real or perceived) humiliation of going home due to preexisting sins.

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7 hours ago, Ginger Snaps said:

My DH is currently serving as bishop. I’m pretty sure they aren’t supposed to go off-script for TR interviews. That being said, after our stake had a couple of missionaries come home early to address some morality issues, our stake president at the time told all the bishops to be a little more direct in their pre-mission interviews. I have no idea if that came from higher up or not. 

When my BYU classmates were leaving on missions in the late 90s, they talked about there being extra, moredirect interviewing at the MTC to ensure worthiness and to prevent early returns for worthiness reasons.

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Just now, Meadowchik said:

When my BYU classmates were leaving on missions in the late 90s, they talked about there being extra, moredirect interviewing at the MTC to ensure worthiness and to prevent early returns for worthiness reasons.

This is still generally the case. Stake Presidents tend to be especially keen on this as most of them get experience early in the calling having to navigate someone coming home. It is not fun.

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Our MP talked to us about this at a zone conference once, he told us that it didn't affect your standing in the church so don't be calling him at 4am telling him about it. I don't know the whats and the wherefore's about it

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11 hours ago, bsjkki said:

Attend with your kids. I would not trust them with my kids...even well intentioned Bishops screw this up.

Then conversely be prepared for your kids to seek no counsel, express no deep-rooted feelings, ask no questions that trouble them, or engage the highest-ranking priesthood leader in their lives in any other meaningful way. I'll bet my house that a teen with three other adults in the room will respond minimally and absolutely "correctly" to every question and topic broached -- especially when two of the three are his/her parents. This topic was extensively (and masterfully) addressed in the most recent FairMormon Conference by Jennifer Roach in a paper titled "Private Bishop Interviews as Protective Factor: Why LDS Teens Benefit From a Few Moments Alone With Their Bishop." It's not yet available on FairMormon's website, but when it is, Sister Roach's arguments are well worth considering. 

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18 minutes ago, Derl Sanderson said:

Then conversely be prepared for your kids to seek no counsel, express no deep-rooted feelings, ask no questions that trouble them, or engage the highest-ranking priesthood leader in their lives in any other meaningful way. I'll bet my house that a teen with three other adults in the room will respond minimally and absolutely "correctly" to every question and topic broached -- especially when two of the three are his/her parents. This topic was extensively (and masterfully) addressed in the most recent FairMormon Conference by Jennifer Roach in a paper titled "Private Bishop Interviews as Protective Factor: Why LDS Teens Benefit From a Few Moments Alone With Their Bishop." It's not yet available on FairMormon's website, but when it is, Sister Roach's arguments are well worth considering. 

Yeah, but you never know where those conversations go. While this is why I don't feel one on one conversations should be banned, I also don't particularly believe many Bishop's handle these things well or understand how things are internalized. Just, my opinion based on my experience. Looking back, this is something I would have done differently. I keep witnessing the carnage in the YA sector. It's not pretty. Church should not make the youth feel they will never be 'good enough' or measure up. The youth are really struggling. I'm not sure probing, intrusive interviews are really healthy for anyone...even adults. I've had a lot of friends mention the way the Bishop talked to them made them feel guilty over things they had not even done...they felt interrogated, like the Bishop was not believing what they were saying. Imagine how that effects a teenager.

*The guildelines state it is the child decision whether a parent attends. I think following the child's lead is a good way to go here. But, it won't protect them if the advice from a Bishop or counsel goes south. You won't be aware to redirect. Not until the damage is done. (Years too late)

Edited by bsjkki
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Sorry for your obviously bad experience with bishops over what appears to have been a very extended period of time. My own experience is that "probing, intrusive interviews" have no part in the training they are given and that, in fact, just the opposite is true. Every bishop I have had anything to do with in terms of interviews for myself, my wife, and my children was always kind and encouraging, consistently pointing my family to the power of redemption and forgiveness available through Christ's Atonement. How one can "feel guilty over things they had not even done" is a concept I guess I don't grasp. Interviews being what they are -- a conversation between two people -- does make me wonder if all of the problems you cite may not lie exclusively with the bishop.

Edited by Derl Sanderson
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3 minutes ago, Derl Sanderson said:

Sorry for your obviously bad experience with bishops over what appears to have been a very extended period of time. My own experience is that "probing, intrusive interviews" have no part in the training they are given and that, in fact, just the opposite is true. Every bishop I have had anything to do with in terms of interviews for myself, my wife, and my children was always kind and encouraging, consistently pointing my family to the power of redemption and forgiveness available through Christ's Atonement. How one can "feel guilty over things they had not even done" is a concept I guess I don't grasp. Interviews being what they are -- a conversation between two people -- does make me wonder if all of the problems you cite may not lie exclusively with the bishop.

I am grateful and happy you have had such great experiences over the years. That was me...until it wasn't. :) As the saying goes, 'trust once broken is hard to regain' and I am still trying to regain confidence in this system. It's a struggle.

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