Patriarchal Blessings: Are You Ready?

[Bernard Gui]

2 hours ago, Hamba Tuhan said:

Nope. Whenever I've had the opportunity, I've encouraged  youth to get them as soon as they genuinely want them. I was nearly 20 when I got mine, and I really wish I'd got it much earlier.

What does it mean to tell them that they are too young and should wait until they are “ready”?

Edited February 12, 2018 by Bernard Gui

[Bernard Gui]

44 minutes ago, Five Solas said:

Then what's the point/necessity of PB delay for additional preparation & readiness?  Are you concerned the 8-year olds were just parroting back the words of their teachers when they qualified for LDS baptism? 

(A completely legitimate concern, IMO, if that's your answer to my question.)

--Erik

I don’t think it should be delayed for some sort of readiness other than a certain level of understanding and worthiness. It is a valuable aid throughout life.

Edited February 12, 2018 by Bernard Gui

[bsjkki]

2 minutes ago, Bernard Gui said:

What does it mean to tell them too young and they should wait until they are ready?

I had a Bishop that refused to give a recommend for a Patriarchal Blessing after the first interview. He always gave them something to read or to research. I can understand this but it would be helpful to know this as a "policy" of his. Many would read and study about the purpose of blessings before their interview and leave the Bishops office feeling like something was wrong with them for not getting their recommend. Some did not expect a quiz and the interview turned into a negative experience. He also thought people should wait until 18. I had to argue a bit on this point. I got mine at 12 right after my father died and it was a comfort and strength to me. I didn't understand this need to wait. I knew nothing when interviewed for my blessing and got mine and I was so grateful for it and still am.

[Duncan]

6 minutes ago, Bernard Gui said:

I’ve been in discussions wher Imwished that would happen. The phrase “drop dead” comes to mind. 

yeah! I might think twice about saying it, as it could actually happen! 

[Bernard Gui]

9 minutes ago, bsjkki said:

I had a Bishop that refused to give a recommend for a Patriarchal Blessing after the first interview. He always gave them something to read or to research. I can understand this but it would be helpful to know this as a "policy" of his. Many would read and study about the purpose of blessings before their interview and leave the Bishops office feeling like something was wrong with them for not getting their recommend. Some did not expect a quiz and the interview turned into a negative experience. He also thought people should wait until 18. I had to argue a bit on this point. I got mine at 12 right after my father died and it was a comfort and strength to me. I didn't understand this need to wait. I knew nothing when interviewed for my blessing and got mine and I was so grateful for it and still am.

That’s kind of what I’m talking about. When the desire is expressed, even the iron is hot, as it were, is the time to move. There should be nothing negative about the experience. There are plenty of lessons, discussions, firesides when such information is shared. Plus parents should do the lion’s share of training and encouragement. It’s a blessing, not an ordinance.

Edited February 12, 2018 by Bernard Gui

[Storm Rider]

2 hours ago, Five Solas said:

Then what's the point/necessity of PB delay for additional preparation & readiness?  Are you concerned the 8-year olds were just parroting back the words of their teachers when they qualified for LDS baptism? 

(A completely legitimate concern, IMO, if that's your answer to my question.)

--Erik

Wow, this gets old quick.  Let's talk about group think and peer pressure.  We all have your view of the stupid Mormon religion and some of its routines, etc.  Tell me, Oh Great Christian, KemoSabi, do you actually think in your new religion that it is only the truly converted that are baptized?  Or how about those that walk down the aisle to accept Jesus as their Lord and Savior - are each one of them devoid of all sense of peer pressure?  If you really think anything remotely similar about your new church then I have some beach front property to sell you in Kansas.  You will love it  - right where all the waves come up and you will hear their sound 24 hours a day if you have a radio and the right radio station.

Edited February 12, 2018 by Storm Rider

[Bernard Gui]

20.12 Patriarchal Blessings

20.12.1

General Guidelines Every worthy, baptized member is entitled to and should receive a patriarchal blessing, which provides inspired direction from the Lord. Church leaders and parents encourage members to prepare spiritually to obtain their patriarchal blessings. The bishop or an assigned counselor interviews members who want to receive patriarchal blessings. If a member is worthy, the interviewer issues and signs a Patriarchal Blessing Recommend.

[Hamba Tuhan]

1 hour ago, Five Solas said:

Then what's the point/necessity of PB delay for additional preparation & readiness?

I'm not one who has argued the point. I did mention desire. That's all.

[Hamba Tuhan]

23 minutes ago, Bernard Gui said:

What does it mean to tell them that they are too young and should wait until they are “ready”?

No clue.

[Hamba Tuhan]

1 hour ago, Bernard Gui said:

I’ve been in discussions wher Imwished that would happen. The phrase “drop dead” comes to mind. 

When I was a full-time missionary, I was one day street-contacting when an older gentleman approached us and then started yelling standard Evangelical criticisms at us. I was actually grateful for him because, before he came, we were just ignored, but now we had a growing crowd. It was great. Then, in mid-rant, he clutched his chest, cried out in pain, and collapsed to the pavement. Someone with a mobile phone rang for an ambulance, and someone else checked that he was still breathing. We were in the city centre, so the ambulance arrived almost immediately, and they carried him off. It was weird. I hope he didn't actually drop dead...

When it was all over, one of the men in the crowd approached us and said, in all seriousness, 'I don't think God liked what he was saying about you'.

Edited February 12, 2018 by Hamba Tuhan

[Five Solas]

2 hours ago, Bernard Gui said:

I don’t think it should be delayed for some sort of readiness other than a certain level of understanding and worthiness. It is a valuable aid throughout life.

What is inadequate about the "level of understanding and worthiness" required for baptism--that it doesn't immediately transfer & apply towards a patriarchal blessing?  Hamba Tuhan tells us the questions are the same.  Please explain what you mean by "a certain level"--and why that level, at least in your mind, must be higher for PB than for baptism. 

That's what I'm trying to wrap my mind around between our two threads.  I think for most people outside of Mormonism, a higher level or standard for a non-saving ordinance (PB) vs. an eternally important saving ordinance (baptism) would make little sense.  Kindly explain it to me (and any non-partisan readers who may be lurking). 

--Erik

[Stargazer]

11 hours ago, Bernard Gui said:

Sister Gui and I have noticed a trend in our area for youth to be told to delay getting their patriarchal blessings until they are “ready.” What started out as encouraging kids to take the experience seriously rather than automatically getting them when they turned twelve has resulted in a culture that seems to make it presumptuous to want to get it before age 16 or so. 

We both consulted our blessings as young teens and made important life decisions based on them. We found that the blessings helped us be “ready” at crucial times when we needed to be ready, and are glad we had them for direction. My case, however, was very unusual: I received mine when I was seven.

Has anyone else noticed a change in the way this unique and important LDS practice is being managed?

I haven't noticed a change, actually.  I was always under the impression that one should wait for a bit of maturity before seeking the blessing.

In the 2009 New Era there was an article about getting one's PB, written by a stake patriarch: When Should I Get My Patriarchal Blessing.  This was over 8 years ago and presumably applicable worldwide.  The patriarch writes:

Quote

Simply stated, the best time for you to receive a blessing is when you are ready. Being “ready” means being emotionally as well as spiritually prepared. This will probably be during your teenage years. This is when you start to become independent and begin to wonder about life and what will happen to you.

You will reach the point when you truly desire to have a blessing—not because your friends are getting theirs but because you desire it for yourself. This may happen when you see others do things that you know are wrong. It may happen when a friend or relative dies. It may happen when you hear a talk in church that touches your heart. It may happen as you read the scriptures and learn more about the Savior. It may happen when you are alone and begin to feel God’s love for you. It may happen as you approach the age to serve a mission, go away to college, enter military service, or marry in the temple.

This advices seems to be correspond with what my understanding has been on the subject since I was baptized, and first learned about these blessings.  I got mine at age 18, I think.

[Stargazer]

10 hours ago, Jeanne said:

I thought mine at age 16 was really wonderful...then I looked at my best friends blessing...pretty much identical and I felt silly...

I've wondered about this kind of thing, because it must certainly occur. Not in my experience so far, though. My PB doesn't resemble my late wife's in any respect. Nor my current wife's.  Besides these, I've never read any other person's PB.  

Here's some sort-of patriarchal blessings from the Doctrine and Covenants.  Except they're from the Lord: Sections 15 and 16, to John and Peter Whitmer. Note that they are virtually identical.  And yet they are entirely personal.  I think that it would be strange if every person had a completely idiosyncratic blessing, unlike any other's.  Because by and large we all have the same tasks to do here in this life. Some of us perhaps have more unusual tasks, but ... The scriptures are identical for us all, but I've found that I've learned some things out of them that others don't seem to have picked up on.  Perhaps patriarchal blessings are like that, too.

My current wife's father served as a patriarch in his later years, and he told her one time that he noticed a trend in the blessings he gave, that they seemed to be more anticipating the second coming than the one's he gave earlier in his "career".  

I wonder if there is a Patriarch Manual?  It would seem that some training might be helpful if one is called to be a patriarch.

 

[bluebell]

20 hours ago, Bernard Gui said:

Sister Gui and I have noticed a trend in our area for youth to be told to delay getting their patriarchal blessings until they are “ready.” What started out as encouraging kids to take the experience seriously rather than automatically getting them when they turned twelve has resulted in a culture that seems to make it presumptuous to want to get it before age 16 or so. 

We both consulted our blessings as young teens and made important life decisions based on them. We found that the blessings helped us be “ready” at crucial times when we needed to be ready, and are glad we had them for direction. My case, however, was very unusual: I received mine when I was seven.

Has anyone else noticed a change in the way this unique and important LDS practice is being managed?

I haven't seen a change in my area.  I got mine when i was 16 and most of the kids in our ward seem to be getting theirs around the same age.  My son got his just a few months ago at 15.  I remember being taught, before I received mine, that it was something that is usually received been 14-16 years old and that you need to make sure you are ready and worthy of the blessing.  That seems to be the same way it's handled now.

[bluebell]

15 hours ago, Five Solas said:

I posted the question on the baptism thread, and I'll post it here as well.  Isn't it a little curious a PB requires a higher standard than an LDS baptism?  For 90+% of kids born into the LDS Church, they are essentially auto-dunked at age 8 after they repeat back some words their teachers tell them. 

That may be a little harsh, but it's certainly not miles from the truth.  So what's all this then about being truly "ready" for a PB?  A PB isn't an essential ordinance pertaining to LDS-style salvation.  So by what logic does the higher standard make any sense?

--Erik

It doesn't sound harsh, it sounds really disrespectful.

[e-eye]

I wonder if any of us had to wait until they knew the baptismal covenant before baptism many of us never would be ready.  As for 8 year old's they are old enough to be accountable and they really need the companionship of the holy ghost so it's the right age regardless of perfect understanding.

I can see the wisdom in waiting until you are more prepared or more mature in getting a blessing.  Often one is told to fast, prepare and even have questions about your life when getting your patriarchal blessing.  Most 8 year old's haven't moved onto more serious questions and understanding in life but at least teenagers, as lost as they can seem, have started making more important decisions in their life that could warrant the benefit of the blessing.

[rongo]

1 hour ago, bluebell said:

I haven't seen a change in my area.  I got mine when i was 16 and most of the kids in our ward seem to be getting theirs around the same age.  My son got his just a few months ago at 15.  I remember being taught, before I received mine, that it was something that is usually received been 14-16 years old and that you need to make sure you are ready and worthy of the blessing.  That seems to be the same way it's handled now.

Most of the youth in my wards request it between 12 and 15. My parents really believe that the quality and significance of the blessing increases exponentially the older one is (which is strange, to me). I received mine right before my mission. My own children have received theirs shortly after turning 12, but they were all more than prepared and ready.

When a youth asks about it, I first ask them if they've read their parents' blessings (usually not, to my surprise). I ask them to talk it over with their parents, to ask them if they may read their blessings, and to get their parents' approval to get their blessings (i.e., do their parents think they are ready, and do they want them to get their blessing now?). We go through the worthiness interview questions, and I teach them about what patriarchal blessings are, and what they are not. We read the blessings of the tribes in Genesis 49 and Deuteronomy 33, and discuss the high likelihood that they will be Ephraim or Manasseh (and what the lineages mean, and why they're important). We discuss why they want their patriarchal blessing, and why they feel they're ready. 

If young youth desire their blessing and are ready (mature) for it (and ready to have their life be informed by it), I think it's a wonderful thing to get it early. 

I also find adults in tithing settlement who have never received one, and didn't think they still could. You would be surprised --- some are fully active and would hopefully know better. I think it's a tremendous blessing, and a hallmark of the Restoration, and try to help people get and appreciate them. 

[rongo]

9 hours ago, Stargazer said:

I wonder if there is a Patriarch Manual?  It would seem that some training might be helpful if one is called to be a patriarch.

There is, but only patriarchs and stake presidents are privy to it. I know there is instruction about being really, really sure if there is inspiration to name a non-Ephraim or Manasseh lineage. Stake presidents are supposed to review them periodically to ensure that they aren't "all the same," or that there aren't irregularities or oddities that need to be addressed. 

[Rain]

 

2 hours ago, rongo said:

Most of the youth in my wards request it between 12 and 15. My parents really believe that the quality and significance of the blessing increases exponentially the older one is (which is strange, to me). I received mine right before my mission. My own children have received theirs shortly after turning 12, but they were all more than prepared and ready.

When a youth asks about it, I first ask them if they've read their parents' blessings (usually not, to my surprise). I ask them to talk it over with their parents, to ask them if they may read their blessings, and to get their parents' approval to get their blessings (i.e., do their parents think they are ready, and do they want them to get their blessing now?). We go through the worthiness interview questions, and I teach them about what patriarchal blessings are, and what they are not. We read the blessings of the tribes in Genesis 49 and Deuteronomy 33, and discuss the high likelihood that they will be Ephraim or Manasseh (and what the lineages mean, and why they're important). We discuss why they want their patriarchal blessing, and why they feel they're ready. 

If young youth desire their blessing and are ready (mature) for it (and ready to have their life be informed by it), I think it's a wonderful thing to get it early. 

I also find adults in tithing settlement who have never received one, and didn't think they still could. You would be surprised --- some are fully active and would hopefully know better. I think it's a tremendous blessing, and a hallmark of the Restoration, and try to help people get and appreciate them. 

I think children should talk over blessings with their children. We did many of the things and more that you talked about.

I don't feel anyone should ask to read my blessing, even my children. I have invited a very few, close people to read it. If I don't invite you then I don't want you reading it. It would really bother me if my children's bishop asked my children to ask to read mine and there are things in my blessing I did not want them to know till later. 

Edited February 12, 2018 by Rain

[Duncan]

7 minutes ago, rongo said:

There is, but only patriarchs and stake presidents are privy to it. I know there is instruction about being really, really sure if there is inspiration to name a non-Ephraim or Manasseh lineage. Stake presidents are supposed to review them periodically to ensure that they aren't "all the same," or that there aren't irregularities or oddities that need to be addressed. 

what if there are irregularities or oddities and how does one determine if something is off? I had one mission companion that in his it says that he'll meet his parents in the air in a cloud of glory at some point in the future, like to me that's a tad peculiar

[USU78]

5 minutes ago, Duncan said:

what if there are irregularities or oddities and how does one determine if something is off? I had one mission companion that in his it says that he'll meet his parents in the air in a cloud of glory at some point in the future, like to me that's a tad peculiar

It's actually not at all unusual:  since those who are to be raised in the morning of the First Resurrection meet the descending Master in the air, this is a promise that both your companion and his parents have been promised a chair at that there table.  A pretty significant promise.

[USU78]

21 minutes ago, e-eye said:

I wonder if any of us had to wait until they knew the baptismal covenant before baptism many of us never would be ready.  As for 8 year old's they are old enough to be accountable and they really need the companionship of the holy ghost so it's the right age regardless of perfect understanding.

I can see the wisdom in waiting until you are more prepared or more mature in getting a blessing.  Often one is told to fast, prepare and even have questions about your life when getting your patriarchal blessing.  Most 8 year old's haven't moved onto more serious questions and understanding in life but at least teenagers, as lost as they can seem, have started making more important decisions in their life that could warrant the benefit of the blessing.

Until it was dastardly stolen from me, I was teaching the 7-8 year olds in Primary.  We went over the baptismal covenant, as well as the mechanics, several times over the course of a year.  We studied the covenant as expressed at the Waters of Mormon at least 3-4 times.  The "mourning with those who mourn" was, I would say, the hardest for them to get their heads around, especially if they hadn't yet experienced a death in the family.  The rest they grasped just fine.

[rongo]

17 minutes ago, Rain said:

I don't feel anyone should ask to read my blessing, even my children. I have invited a very few, close people to read it. If I don't invite you then I don't want you reading it. It would really bother me if my children's bishop asked my children to ask to read mine and there are things in my blessing I did not want them to know till later. 

Interesting. If a parent didn't want their children to read theirs, then I wouldn't push the point. I've never run into parents not being willing to (not judging you, Rain!  ).

I do tell them not to let people read them unless they are close family or the Holy Ghost tells you to. And, hold them sacred. 

For me, personally, I think family fits within that sacredness (unless there are problems in the family), and being aware of promises and warnings given to grandparents, parents, and siblings in relation to yours is important. But family's overrule any bishop as far as how that is in their family. 

[Duncan]

14 minutes ago, USU78 said:

It's actually not at all unusual:  since those who are to be raised in the morning of the First Resurrection meet the descending Master in the air, this is a promise that both your companion and his parents have been promised a chair at that there table.  A pretty significant promise.

it doesn't say that in mine!! knowing my luck the elevator will break getting up to the air to meet my folks and i'll be stuck for eternity in a broken down piece of junk elevator

[cinepro]

1 hour ago, rongo said:

 Stake presidents are supposed to review them periodically to ensure that they aren't "all the same," or that there aren't irregularities or oddities that need to be addressed. 

My wife and I grew up in the same stake, and I'll never forget shortly after we were married she read my PB and discovered it was very, very similar to hers.  Whole paragraphs were almost identical, and there was very little difference other than what would be expected between a boy's blessing and a girl's.

I was thrilled, and explained to her that this was divine proof that we were meant to be together.  What other explanation could there be?