Patriarchal Blessings: Are You Ready?

Rain · February 12, 2018

1 hour ago, rongo said:

Interesting. If a parent didn't want their children to read theirs, then I wouldn't push the point. I've never run into parents not being willing to (not judging you, Rain! ).

I do tell them not to let people read them unless they are close family or the Holy Ghost tells you to. And, hold them sacred.

For me, personally, I think family fits within that sacredness (unless there are problems in the family), and being aware of promises and warnings given to grandparents, parents, and siblings in relation to yours is important. But family's overrule any bishop as far as how that is in their family.

It wasn't that I wasn't willing. Just that there are things that they might not be ready for. Years later when my daughter read it I saw evidence of my concern, but she was old enough to then process it.

Jeanne · February 12, 2018

18 hours ago, bsjkki said:

I had a Bishop that refused to give a recommend for a Patriarchal Blessing after the first interview. He always gave them something to read or to research. I can understand this but it would be helpful to know this as a "policy" of his. Many would read and study about the purpose of blessings before their interview and leave the Bishops office feeling like something was wrong with them for not getting their recommend. Some did not expect a quiz and the interview turned into a negative experience. He also thought people should wait until 18. I had to argue a bit on this point. I got mine at 12 right after my father died and it was a comfort and strength to me. I didn't understand this need to wait. I knew nothing when interviewed for my blessing and got mine and I was so grateful for it and still am.

I have never heard of this before. Most bishops (IMO)...are so willing to do this whatever path they are on..esteeming that it will strengthen them. I understand preparation...but it should not be called and interview...but a class to take or special study.

rongo · February 12, 2018

1 hour ago, Rain said:

It wasn't that I wasn't willing. Just that there are things that they might not be ready for. Years later when my daughter read it I saw evidence of my concern, but she was old enough to then process it.

Only you would know that, of course. You made me think about something, though, that had never occurred to me: that asking kids to ask their parents if they could read theirs might not always be a good thing.

My wife has a magnificent blessing that has been largely fulfilled to a T. There is a statement in there that says, "You will know spiritual light, and you will also be faced with spiritual darkness. The way in which you heal yourself will be exemplary to many." We have wondered as a family what in the world this is referring to. It would break our hearts if any one of us were to fall away, and I could see people choosing not to share that with their children (or even a spouse). She also has the gift of healing mentioned, and she has that in spades. It is possible that this is referring to people she has healed spiritually as a confidant or friend (there have been many instances of this).

My oldest isn't sure what he wants to do, and his blessing specifically tells him not to worry about his schooling or major; that he will know when the time comes, and and the decision will be natural and simple. This has been a tremendous lifting of a worry off of his chest.

One of my sons' blessing specifically says that his mother in Heaven is proud of him and is mindful of him. It also tells him that he will be called on, as a church leader, to be the father figure to many children who don't have one --- and that the burden will be significant, and to get ready for it.

I never understand people who pooh-pooh patriarchal blessings. I think they are one of the most magnificent blessings available to us! But, if I were personally aware of multiple practically identical blessings in a stake, that would be disappointing. I think it is key that stake presidents monitor these to make sure that they aren't just standard form blessings, for the most part.

I do think that the patriarch's background, personality, and temperament do factor into the blessings; that a different patriarch's blessing would be different from the one they received in parts (but also similar in parts). I'm not only okay with that, I like that, too. Patriarchal blessings are filtered through the patriarch just like the Book of Mormon or Book of Abraham were filtered through Joseph Smith. Had they been translated by a Finnish woodcutter or an African cattle herder, their imprint would also show like a semi-educated upstate New Yorker's . . .

Bernard Gui · February 12, 2018

17 hours ago, Five Solas said:

What is inadequate about the "level of understanding and worthiness" required for baptism--that it doesn't immediately transfer & apply towards a patriarchal blessing? Hamba Tuhan tells us the questions are the same. Please explain what you mean by "a certain level"--and why that level, at least in your mind, must be higher for PB than for baptism.

That's what I'm trying to wrap my mind around between our two threads. I think for most people outside of Mormonism, a higher level or standard for a non-saving ordinance (PB) vs. an eternally important saving ordinance (baptism) would make little sense. Kindly explain it to me (and any non-partisan readers who may be lurking).

--Erik

Not sure what you are getting at. Our childen and youth get tons of instruction about baptism and patriarchal blessings at home and at church. BTW, it is a blessing, not an ordinance. Fathers can and should give patriarchal blessings to their children. Fathers can and should baptize their own children. The formal Patriarchal Blessing is personal and sacred and it happens once in a lifetime. A certain degree of knowledge and worthiness should precede baptisms and Blessings. My issue is assuming a youth must wait until a certain age for the Blessing. Church policy is that the person receiving it should be baptized. No age requirement. When you’re ready and want one, it should happen.

Edited February 12, 2018 by Bernard Gui

Bernard Gui · February 12, 2018

15 hours ago, Stargazer said:

I haven't noticed a change, actually. I was always under the impression that one should wait for a bit of maturity before seeking the blessing.

In the 2009 New Era there was an article about getting one's PB, written by a stake patriarch: When Should I Get My Patriarchal Blessing. This was over 8 years ago and presumably applicable worldwide. The patriarch writes:

This advices seems to be correspond with what my understanding has been on the subject since I was baptized, and first learned about these blessings. I got mine at age 18, I think.

If I had waited that long, some crucial things might have been neglected. Mine was way too early: I was not yet baptized. Nevertheless, it was a guide during early and late teen years and later adult decisions.

Edited February 12, 2018 by Bernard Gui

Bernard Gui · February 12, 2018

6 hours ago, bluebell said:

I haven't seen a change in my area. I got mine when i was 16 and most of the kids in our ward seem to be getting theirs around the same age. My son got his just a few months ago at 15. I remember being taught, before I received mine, that it was something that is usually received been 14-16 years old and that you need to make sure you are ready and worthy of the blessing. That seems to be the same way it's handled now.

Handbook instructions are that the person be baptized, no age requirement. My blessing helped me immensely in my early teens.

Stargazer · February 12, 2018

57 minutes ago, Bernard Gui said:

If I had waited that long, some crucial things might have been neglected. Mine was way too early: I was not yet baptized. Nevertheless, it was a guide during early and late teen years and later adult decisions.

I would probably have welcomed such a guide when I was young -- but I was a convert baptized at age 14, so the option didn't exist. And after baptism the option wasn't offered to me, although if I had stayed in the same ward I'm sure it would have come up. My family moved to Toronto, Canada (from So. California) about six months after I was baptized, and for the 2 1/2 years we lived there I didn't attend church (I was the only member in my family). When we moved to England (I was 17 at the time) I got serious about the Gospel, and became quite active, and that is when and where I first heard about these blessings. I just checked, and I received my blessing when I was about 19 1/2. It was the impetus which caused me to want to serve a mission, and it happened at the right time for me. I freely admit that I am an outlier, though -- been an odd duck in one way or another my entire life, and proud of it, to a certain extent -- but if I had been born in the Church I think I could have benefited receiving my blessing around age 13 or 14.

bluebell · February 12, 2018

1 hour ago, Bernard Gui said:

Handbook instructions are that the person be baptized, no age requirement. My blessing helped me immensely in my early teens.

Yes, that is taught as well (that there is no age requirement). I was stating the ages where most kids seem to be getting it done and didn't mean to imply that it was something they were taught should be done at that age.

Five Solas · February 13, 2018

12 hours ago, bluebell said:

It doesn't sound harsh, it sounds really disrespectful.

Yes, it was a long time ago, but please keep in mind, bluebell--I was there. However they may sound, my words are born of my experience, they're from my heart. And you can be just as authentic with me, if you wish.

:0)

--Erik

Hamba Tuhan · February 13, 2018

13 hours ago, USU78 said:

Until it was dastardly stolen from me, I was teaching the 7-8 year olds in Primary ... The rest they grasped just fine.

A long time ago, I was the teacher for the same class. I remember thinking that I wasn't going to be a good match for such young children. (I shared this concern with my bishop when he called me. He asked, 'Don't you like little children?' I responded, plagiarising, 'Yes ... baked, boiled and fried!' Oh dear.)

One of the concerns I'd harboured for some time was that all 8 year olds are like little Erik: clueless as to what they're doing.

These kids taught me otherwise. I did have one clueless little boy in the mix, but the rest were amazing! I remember my very first lesson, on prayer. The manual suggested I ask the kids to share experiences where they knew that God had heard and answered their prayers. I thought that was unlikely to generate much response, but I tried it anyway. The rest of the class time was filled with humble, sincere experience-sharing. These kids knew God, and they knew Him well enough to be making lifelong covenants with Him.

I stood -- and stand -- corrected.

Stargazer · February 13, 2018

12 hours ago, cinepro said:

My wife and I grew up in the same stake, and I'll never forget shortly after we were married she read my PB and discovered it was very, very similar to hers. Whole paragraphs were almost identical, and there was very little difference other than what would be expected between a boy's blessing and a girl's.

I was thrilled, and explained to her that this was divine proof that we were meant to be together. What other explanation could there be?

Of all the Church callings that I could be called to as a priesthood holder, the one which scares me the most is Patriarch. And this is the part that scares me the most. To provide genuine spiritual insight for a young person, and to be close enough to the Spirit to make it real for him or her! But some parts of a blessing are bound to be very similar, even from Patriarch to Patriarch. For example, how many different ways are there to declare someone's lineage? And one person's blessing is apt, in many cases, to be very similar to blessings of another persons -- just because we are all HERE, dealing with similar problems, and the solutions to some of those problems are likewise similar.

Would it be legit for a patriarch to include in 80% of his blessings the admonition to study the scriptures? To make a special effort to pray frequently? To stay faithful in the keeping of the Word of Wisdom? I should think it would be very legit, and applicable to pretty much everyone. I don't think that this would be at all surprising to find that most PBs contain such admonitions. Because they are all appropriate.

The other question, how many of us are unique in our circumstances of birth, or what we were foreordained to do before we came here? Is it possible that only a few of us have special unique circumstances of birth and foreordination that might be revealed in a patriarchal blessing? I'd have to say that this would be the case. But even then, do you think that the Lord would violate his own rules of agency by becoming extremely explicit about what a particular individual was going to be expected to do? Unless there was something really critically important that needed to be communicated?

Even then, foreordination is not predestination. A patriarchal blessing is not fortune telling.

Duncan · February 13, 2018

What is the difference between getting a Patriarchal Blessing vs. getting revelation for your life as you live it and following the teachings and counsel of the Church? Mine says to study the scriptures but I hear that message all the time at Church

bluebell · February 13, 2018

10 hours ago, Five Solas said:

Yes, it was a long time ago, but please keep in mind, bluebell--I was there. However they may sound, my words are born of my experience, they're from my heart. And you can be just as authentic with me, if you wish.

:0)

--Erik

It seems like you have created a false dichotomy where you don't think you can be both authentic and respectful at the same time. I think that's just an attempt to justify being lazy and unkind in your communications.

There's 'authentic' and then there's interpreting something A) in the worst way possible while B) ignoring that just because something was your experience does not mean it it's everyone's experience. Being respectful is when someone cares enough about the person they are talking to to be authentic without also doing A and B.

rongo · February 13, 2018

1 hour ago, Duncan said:

What is the difference between getting a Patriarchal Blessing vs. getting revelation for your life as you live it and following the teachings and counsel of the Church?

It's through an ordained patriarch (a separate and exclusive priesthood office), and thus has a seal of seership that is above and beyond personal revelation in your life. This is not to minimize personal revelation ---- those with personal experience communicating with and receiving revelation from God are richly blessed, too. Declaration of lineage is very important to me, probably more so than to most members, who rarely, if ever, think about it. That's another part.

I think "personal revelation : patriarchal blessing" is similar to "fasting and prayer : prayer circle." Anyone can fast and pray and receive needed help for self and loved ones, but there is power in the appointed way that those who are able should call upon.

Rain · February 13, 2018

You can also receive personal revelation through reading your patriarchal blessing. There is a reason why we are asked to read it over throughout our lives. It's because when reading it we can receive that revelation that comes from a phrase or word etc that was in our blessing.

rongo · February 13, 2018

2 hours ago, Rain said:

You can also receive personal revelation through reading your patriarchal blessing. There is a reason why we are asked to read it over throughout our lives. It's because when reading it we can receive that revelation that comes from a phrase or word etc that was in our blessing.

And, some things will mean different things at different times of our life.

It's also neat and useful to look for phrases from blessings in the scriptures. Some are straight-up similar, and some are appropriations and new uses of phrases (like Joseph Smith re-purposing Song of Solomon's "clear as the sun, bright as the moon, and terrible as an army with banners" to refer to the Restored Church. I am told in mine that my children will be "ornaments to the Church," and while this exact phrase isn't in the scriptures, there are similar ones that are thought-provoking and inspiring.

sheilauk · February 13, 2018

I was 46 when I got my Blessing, but that was only 16 months after I was baptised. I'm told it's rather long for a Patriarchal Blessing. I'm glad I have it.

Jeanne · February 13, 2018

5 minutes ago, sheilauk said:

I was 46 when I got my Blessing, but that was only 16 months after I was baptised. I'm told it's rather long for a Patriarchal Blessing. I'm glad I have it.

Wow..I love this...I know you can't...but wish that you could share what was said for immediate goals and promises in your life.

sheilauk · February 13, 2018

20 minutes ago, Jeanne said:

Wow..I love this...I know you can't...but wish that you could share what was said for immediate goals and promises in your life.

The goals and promises are, for the most part spiritual and church related, rather than work or life in general. Some of the things said were just what I needed at that time and still bring me great comfort.

Jeanne · February 13, 2018

57 minutes ago, sheilauk said:

The goals and promises are, for the most part spiritual and church related, rather than work or life in general. Some of the things said were just what I needed at that time and still bring me great comfort.

I am happy about that..I wish I could make good decisions at this time in my life.

Rain · February 14, 2018

2 hours ago, Jeanne said:

I am happy about that..I wish I could make good decisions at this time in my life.

You can. Talk with your Heavenly Father about the choices you need to make.

I know this is going to sound odd, but consider reading your blessing. Even though you no longer believe in the church, you still believe in God and there may have been things that He inspired the man who have you the blessing to tell you. Maybe it will mean nothing to you, but if you are struggling with decisions then you never know what might help.

Edited February 14, 2018 by Rain

Marginal Gains · February 14, 2018

I’ve had occasion to read several Patriarchal blessings and they seem to follow the pattern of self fulfilling prophesies. Sort of - stay in the Church, serve a mission or get ready to be a mother, you’ll get married, blessed with kids, choice spirit, yadayadayada. They are so generic that they might as well be templeted in a software package...

I liken the Mormon attachment to Patriarchal Blessings to peoples belief in Horoscopes. Neither party would acknowledge the divinity of the other, but both groups intrinsically believe the divinity of their own particular brand of fortune telling.

But I acknowledge and understand why individuals see their particular Patriarchal Blessing/Horoscope as special and meaningful to them.

Edited February 14, 2018 by Marginal Gains

rongo · February 14, 2018

1 hour ago, Marginal Gains said:

I’ve had occasion to read several Patriarchal blessings and they seem to follow the pattern of self fulfilling prophesies. Sort of - stay in the Church, serve a mission or get ready to be a mother, you’ll get married, blessed with kids, choice spirit, yadayadayada. They are so generic that they might as well be templeted in a software package...

I liken the Mormon attachment to Patriarchal Blessings to peoples belief in Horoscopes. Neither party would acknowledge the divinity of the other, but both groups intrinsically believe the divinity of their own particular brand of fortune telling.

But I acknowledge and understand why individuals see their particular Patriarchal Blessing/Horoscope as special and meaningful to them.

How does your assessment fit with, say, what I shared from my wife's (that was quite striking)? Or my children's? There are things in mine that are unique and rare (further, the deponent sayeth not. These are things that aren't going to be said very often to very many people).

I know, anecdotally, that some people have comparative similarities within stakes, and I think that is disappointing and sad. But, that isn't my direct experience (in my own family).

How long have stake presidents been charged with "quality control" over patriarchal blessings? At least since the 2000s, when there was a worldwide training broadcast just for patriarchs and stake presidents, and that manual was issued.

I wonder if the "mass produced" blessings are much more a thing of decades ago?

Five Solas · February 14, 2018

On 2/13/2018 at 7:19 AM, bluebell said:

It seems like you have created a false dichotomy where you don't think you can be both authentic and respectful at the same time. I think that's just an attempt to justify being lazy and unkind in your communications.

There's 'authentic' and then there's interpreting something A) in the worst way possible while B) ignoring that just because something was your experience does not mean it it's everyone's experience. Being respectful is when someone cares enough about the person they are talking to to be authentic without also doing A and B.

I think some human behavior merits a bit of humor. Respect, in the Bible, refers to people (e.g., 1 Peter 2:17). But it doesn't extend to all the silly things people do. In 1 Kings 18 we read how Elijah responded to a pagan sacrifice. Did he show respect to the practitioners? Did he make a speech about the importance of religion and the need to respect all persons of faith? No, he used humor. Strong humor, it might be added. He suggested their god was sleeping and they should work harder to awaken him. He openly mocked them.

Now that's what I call being authentic. But yours above wasn't too bad either.

:0)

--Erik

bluebell · February 14, 2018

29 minutes ago, Five Solas said:

I think some human behavior merits a bit of humor. Respect, in the Bible, refers to people (e.g., 1 Peter 2:17). But it doesn't extend to all the silly things people do. In 1 Kings 18 we read how Elijah responded to a pagan sacrifice. Did he show respect to the practitioners? Did he make a speech about the importance of religion and the need to respect all persons of faith? No, he used humor. Strong humor, it might be added. He suggested their god was sleeping and they should work harder to awaken him. He openly mocked them.

Now that's what I call being authentic. But yours above wasn't too bad either.

:0)

--Erik

Obviously even Elijah needed to repent sometimes.

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