The Internet: Destroying Dialogue

[Mystery Meat]

Scrapple it is.

 

[Daniel2]

I appreciate the sentiments you've expressed in this thread, MM. It does seem that the Internet can bring out the worst in many of us, and we likely have all stumbled at times in our efforts to put our best selves forward.

This board has definitely influenced my life in many ways, and I have experienced several paradigm shifts because of discussions here. I believe, on the whole, my net growth has been positive and worthwhile.

Like Respect, I also believe that Conversation is often only as good as Conversation does. The trick I think is to learn to avoid the caustic comments and try to find the rarer meaning behind it. I definitely agree that's a lot of work. For some, the effort is worthwhile. For others, I can completely respect the desire to focus on more uplifting pursuits.

[Daniel2]

The trick is to walk away from toxicity and focus on the positive. It takes discipline, but it can be done.

Well said!

[ksfisher]

I am sure God wanted the American revolutionary soldiers to stand out in front of the British soldiers where they could see them instead of  shooting from  cover.

 

The two situations seem quite dissimilar. 

Edited July 21, 2015 by ksfisher

[Jeanne]

You have been and interesting person.  You are true to yourself for which I admire.  Good luck to you!

[Mormonmaniac]

At times this board has downright ticked me off. I do believe this board is on the cutting edge of where conservative Mormonism meets progressive Mormonism and as such I believe we argue against the very things the prophets have long warned us about. Anti-Mormonism is gaining strength even amongst the fringe progressive Mormons who are not really Christian, just wolves in sheep's clothing. We are seeing that on this board- a separation of those who follow the prophets and those who degrade and discount the prophets. Even the board moderators on this forum seem to side with progressive Mormons and ban those conservative views. It has happened to me and many others. Its a disease and its slowly taking over our members and corrupting them.

[Mystery Meat]

At times this board has downright ticked me off. I do believe this board is on the cutting edge of where conservative Mormonism meets progressive Mormonism and as such I believe we argue against the very things the prophets have long warned us about. Anti-Mormonism is gaining strength even amongst the fringe progressive Mormons who are not really Christian, just wolves in sheep's clothing. We are seeing that on this board- a separation of those who follow the prophets and those who degrade and discount the prophets. Even the board moderators on this forum seem to side with progressive Mormons and ban those conservative views. It has happened to me and many others. Its a disease and its slowly taking over our members and corrupting them.

 

I would say, as a more conservative poster, that your post is exactly what I was talking about.

[MorningStar]

"Other"

Tofu?

[Calm]

The really other white meat.... (actually kind of a grayish yellow in my experience)

Edited July 21, 2015 by calmoriah

[strappinglad]

There are other internet boards where , if one pokes one's head above ground, it is shot at by dozens and the mods allow/encourage such behavior. Here , the mods may err on the side of some critics but there may well be a good reason for doing so. I feel that the mods are quite fair - handed for the most part. As for some topics, my suggestion to the mods is to ban them for ,say, 6 months , so that the passion can cool a bit, and thereafter , only allow one thread of that type at a time. Ya, easier said than done.

As for the OP, I will miss your postings MM. Take a break if you must. Return when rested.

[Duncan]

I don't think there is anyone here that if they invited me to a BBQ I wouldn't go to  unless you served Blood Pudding

[HappyJackWagon]

At times this board has downright ticked me off. I do believe this board is on the cutting edge of where conservative Mormonism meets progressive Mormonism and as such I believe we argue against the very things the prophets have long warned us about. Anti-Mormonism is gaining strength even amongst the fringe progressive Mormons who are not really Christian, just wolves in sheep's clothing. We are seeing that on this board- a separation of those who follow the prophets and those who degrade and discount the prophets. Even the board moderators on this forum seem to side with progressive Mormons and ban those conservative views. It has happened to me and many others. Its a disease and its slowly taking over our members and corrupting them.

sigh.....

[Ahab]

I think you just need to lighten up, MM.

Now that you accept that this board is what it is, with many kinds of people who come here to share their own thoughts about things, whether they are good are bad thoughts, you can now choose to share some good thoughts of your own to at least try to plant as a good seed for someone to give them something good to think about and respond to. Not that everybody who reads your good thought will like it, but you can bet that at least one person will appreciate it.

We're not here to convert others to what we know as the gospel. That is actually banned on this board. But we can share good thoughts with other people.

Just don't be shocked or surprised to see that the people who come here aren't already perfect or in need of some more enlightenment.

[Ahab]

I don't think there is anyone here that if they invited me to a BBQ I wouldn't go to unless you served Blood Pudding

Yeah but you're talking BBQ.

I'll go anywhere for BBQ, too.

[filovirus]

"Other"

Soylent Green?

[Gray]

If online discussion makes you unhappy, it would be silly to keep doing it.

 

All the best

[sethpayne]

When I first saw the title of this thread I read it as "The Interpreter: Destroying Dialogue" and thought to myself: "Is there some epic Mormon Studies Journal smack down that I've missed?"

 

But no.  The internet.  And I would generally agree that yes, the internet harms civil discussion.  One of my FB friends posted a few weeks ago that it used to be folks didn't discuss religion or politics -- largely to retain civility.  The internet has made it possible to engage in these discussions without the body language and other social cues of in-person conversation that help us to be polite and more sensitive to others.

Edited July 21, 2015 by sethpayne

[ksfisher]

 

 

  The internet has made it possible to engage in these discussions without the body language and other social cues of in-person conversation that help us to be polite and more sensitive to others.

 

That's the danger of any type of written communication.  I find the more that I write, the greater the danger of my being misunderstood. 

[mapman]

I've been a member of this board for years, but I've always read more than post. I've learned a lot of stuff on here over the years and it has changed the way I think about many things. I find debating online stressful, so I have avoided that for the most part. I usually just read through the topics that interest me (for me that is mostly history and theology). There are lots of very intelligent people on here and I've learned a ton of stuff from them.

Edited July 21, 2015 by mapman

[california boy]

You certainly have given me things to think about in your postings. Most of the time I don't respond to what you have posted. It doesn't mean that I didn't learn something from you. Occasionally we have engaged from completely different perspectives on subjects that we will never come to a consensus about. But even when that happens I get a better understanding and insight into the thinking of those who have a different opinion than me. It is probably the principle reason why I participate here.

I hope this is only a break and not good bye

[JLHPROF]

I personally find it more frustrating than upsetting.  But it teaches me other perspectives than my own, which is why I keep doing it.

But I also sometimes reach frustration overload with some ideas expressed here, so I know the feeling.  I still have more to learn I guess.

[mormonnewb]

As "part of the problem," I believe that I may have a fundamental misunderstanding of how an Internet discussion board should work. I came to this board to try to find answers to nagging questions that I think would be unwise to raise in, say, Sunday School or in an EQ lesson.

In doing so, I have often communicated in ways that I agree would be rude in other settings. Yet (with some exceptions), I have not been rude for the sake of being rude. I've done so in an attempt to be candid.

For example, in the past, I complained about, say, "the Church picking out my underwear for me." While that might be a jolting way of describing our sacred garments, I could think of no way to better explain how I felt about the garments. I still can't think of a way to better explain what I felt was a loss of agency -- a perspective that would be likely alien to a lifelong Mormon.

And in the course of "offending" others, I was given greater clarity on the issue. Some explained to me the scriptural basis for wearing the garments of the holy priesthood. Others explained the sense of pride they feel for having the honor of being part of that priesthood.

I'm not sure that I could have learned these things through a "respectful" conversation in EQ. For one, I'd hate to "infect" one of my ward brothers and sisters with my ignorance. Moreover, I'm acutely aware that people don't necessarily go to church for "deep doctrine." That's certainly not why I go. I go primarily for fellowship and worship.

So, in essence, I subject people on this board to more candor than is polite in person because I thought that this was the place for candid questions. And particularly, candid questions about the Church.

I think we would all agree that Sunday School is not the place for these questions/doubts/criticisms. So should I turn to the NOM or Ex-Mo board to find the answers?

A few months ago, I came on this board in a huff about ETB being the focus of this year's Teachings of the Prophets. I believed I termed it "2015: Year of the Racist." While that might have been hurtful to many of you, I could find no more succinct way to describe the hurt and betrayal that my wife felt when she found out about it and declared that she would not step back into the church until 2016 (a vow that she has unfortunately kept).

Interestingly, I've made peace with ETB through "duking it out" on these pages. And that is what I had hoped to find when I first came here -- a place to wrestle like Jacob with the "new and strange" doctrines of this Church.

Now, I'm not going to pretend that all of my sarcasm and mocking is in the spirit of "candid inquiry." Very often, I get carried away in just being combative. But I'm not sure that it's possible to have one without the other.

For instance, yesterday, Calmoriah called one poster a "spoiled brat" and chastised him for his "arrogant ignorance." This poster had glibly demeaned a lifetime of efforts by moderate feminists and she had just had ENOUGH. Now, if the most eloquent person on this board is subject to a moment of "candor," then there is no hope for the rest of us. If we're going to have meaningful conversations, then the price for that is contention from time to time.

However, as I see it, it's much better that Calmoriah calls me an "spoiled brat" than the equally arrogantly ignorant elder in her ward. And likewise, I think the people in my ward are grateful that I come here for my Jacobmania than to cause havoc on Sundays.

Just my two cents ...

[Mars]

i don't think pushing buttons to get a largely emotional response qualifies as "candor," but maybe i've misunderstood you.

[JAHS]

I tend to agree with your sentiments to some degree. The anonymous nature of these boards often facilitates one to say something that they wouldn't say to one's face.  And the derails and bickering that sometimes happen can be anoying at times ( I just stop reading the thread).

However, when I have had questions about a certain topic I will come to this board, do a search, and often times find the answer I need.  

[mormonnewb]

i don't think pushing buttons to get a largely emotional response qualifies as "candor," but maybe i've misunderstood you.

If I was primarily interested in getting an emotional response, I'd say these things to the people in my ward ... to their faces. That way, I could SEE the pain in their eyes and HEAR the emotion in their voices. I would have the added "pleasure" of shocking them with new and troubling information.

Yet, instead I come online, where emotional reactions can be most easily masked. And discuss things that shock NO ONE.

Edited July 22, 2015 by mormonnewb