Thoughts And Advice Requested Please

[Silhouette]

I will briefly review my history for those who have forgotten or don't know me well. I have been inactive for a number of years and have just recently returned to Church. I didn't break any temple covenants while inactive, and continued to wear my garments and pay a full tithe. I did experience some Word of Wisdom problems, but stopped several months ago, and have repented and kept up regular meetings with my Bishop for the past year, to discuss my progress and goals during my reactivation. The meetings began while I was inactive, and are continuing.

This past Sunday my Bishop presented a calling to me, the nature of which I can't discuss yet because I've not been sustained yet. However, I would like to relate to you all some things that my Bishop told me at the time he presented this calling to me. Things I have struggled with.

First, he told me that he had had a personal revelation about me specifically, telling him to offer me this calling. That part was great. No issues there.

Then he proceeded to tell me that the Presidency involved in this position said very plainly that they did not want me in the position. And that the counselor in the Bishopric over this organization expressed serious reservations too.

The Bishop told me that he ended up having to just about force the issue, and that he "really went to bat" for me.

He told me that when these folks realized that he WAS going to extend the calling to me despite their protests, they then came up with the suggestion of calling an additional person to share the calling with me. He vetoed that idea too, saying that me doing it on my own was a great opportunity for growth and experience. This position is held by only one person, and calling a second person to the same position is absolutely outside the norm.

Now, he tried to soften all of this by saying that he didn't think they didn't want me because I couldn't do the job, but that he thought it was because they were afraid that I would be overwhelmed by it and stop coming again due to the stress that goes along with this calling. They told him that they wanted someone who could "hit the ground running."

I didn't particularly want to go into this organization in the first place. They don't want me in it anyway. To me this is a recipe for disaster.

I did accept the calling and am supposed to be sustained and set apart this coming Sunday. Despite my own reservations about this organization, I have prayed about it and felt the Spirit. I will do my very best and have faith in the Lord that He will be beside me all the way.

Nevertheless, it feels like I'm going into a place where I am clearly not wanted, and that the odds are already stacked against me for success. I dislike having to be "forced" on anyone. I feel that I'm diving head first into a very hostile situation.

Thoughts? Advice? Thanks in advance. I am really struggling with all of this.

[bluebell]

I don't blame you for feeling like that, I would too! I'm wondering why the bishop even felt the need to tell you how others were reacting to you being called?

If you are brave enough, a good way to begin might be to meet with the president of the auxiliary over you and just lay it all out on the table (not in a confrontational way of course) about how you know her feelings and then let her know yours.

Being on the same page might help you feel more equal in the relationship again and not like the person on the outside looking in.

Whatever you decide, remember the confirmation you received from the spirit. It will give you strength and perspective in the days ahead.

[JLHPROF]

There are far better qualified people to answer and advise you.  But for what little it's worth, here's my opinion.

 

1. The presiding priesthood authority extended this call after receiving revelation.  Other peoples concerns may be valid, but they are completely beside the point.  You were called.  End of story.

 

2. I think the Bishop was just trying to warn you in a roundabout way that this is not going to be an easy calling.  The best callings with the most learning opportunities are always the hardest.  That's how we grow and progress.  God must think you can do it.  Your priesthood leader thinks you can do it.  Now you just need to think you can do it and that's all that matters.

 

3. If there as you say there is a presidency over this calling that aren't sure, meet with them often, pray together and listen to their advice.  This can only help assuage their concerns that you are taking the most sincere approach possible.

 

But above all this is your calling from the Lord so remember the words of Joseph Smith -

 

"No month ever found me more busily engaged than November; but as my life consisted of activity and unyielding exertions, I made this my rule: When the Lord commands, do it."

[Duncan]

Yeah, i'm surprised he told you all this! I would just go in and do what is needed/asked, and serve whoever is involved and not to prove to the presidency you pass muster. I think their opinion of you will change once they really get to know you

[Ahab]

Just do the best you can do in that calling and don't give even one moment of consideration to any negative thoughts you may get. Look for the bright side in every situation. If you need any help, ask God to help you. Do what is right because it is the right thing to do, not because you are trying to impress somebody. Be the best kind of person you can imagine being just because that is the best way to be.

[Silhouette]

bluebell and Duncan, I've asked myself the same question of why the Bishop would even tell me what those people said. I guess I'm glad he did though, just so I can be aware of people's opinions of me. I am trying so hard to view it that they are concerned for my welfare in the Gospel, but it's proving difficult.

[Garden Girl]

I too believe the Bishop made a big mistake in telling you the specifics of the opposition to your calling... He didn't have to go into detail...

I don't know that I'd tell the aux pres that you know of her opposition...yet... but I would just go into it with the resolve to do your very best, and rely on the bishop's confirmation in calling you and be confident that you will have spiritual suppport.  If the aux pres treats you badly, is standoffish, etc., you can then tell her you know of her concerns about you and assure her you want to do your very best and ask for her help and support.

On a personal note to you from me, Silhouette, I'm so glad you have reactivated, that you continued the way you did while inactive.  I was inactive for too many years (not endowed)... years that I have deep regret over,  but there's nothing I can do about them... when I pray, often I will say how sorry I am that I cannot bring back those years, but all I can do is go forward every day and year from now till my appointed time comes to a close.  So I encourage you to not let anything or anyone stand in your way of continuing on as you are... fulfill this calling and rely on the Spirit and on the Savior...  all good wishes...

 

GG

[Duncan]

bluebell and Duncan, I've asked myself the same question of why the Bishop would even tell me what those people said. I guess I'm glad he did though, just so I can be aware of people's opinions of me. I am trying so hard to view it that they are concerned for my welfare in the Gospel, but it's proving difficult.

 

 

one thing too is don't get too caught up in what they think, serve the people and they'll hopefully turn around-it's not easy for sure

 

remember what Dr. Seuss said once, people who matter don't care and people who care don't matter"

 

cha cha cha

Edited November 21, 2014 by Duncan

[Silhouette]

There are far better qualified people to answer and advise you. But for what little it's worth, here's my opinion.

1. The presiding priesthood authority extended this call after receiving revelation. Other peoples concerns may be valid, but they are completely beside the point. You were called. End of story.

2. I think the Bishop was just trying to warn you in a roundabout way that this is not going to be an easy calling. The best callings with the most learning opportunities are always the hardest. That's how we grow and progress. God must think you can do it. Your priesthood leader thinks you can do it. Now you just need to think you can do it and that's all that matters.

3. If there as you say there is a presidency over this calling that aren't sure, meet with them often, pray together and listen to their advice. This can only help assuage their concerns that you are taking the most sincere approach possible.

But above all this is your calling from the Lord so remember the words of Joseph Smith -

This is one reason I'm having such a hard time reconciling the Bishop's revelation about me personally, and these folks' reaction. I would have thought that all those who are leaders and will have stewardship over me in this calling would be on the same page if this is from Heavenly Father. Or at least not be completely opposed to my being in the position.

[Silhouette]

Just do the best you can do in that calling and don't give even one moment of consideration to any negative thoughts you may get. Look for the bright side in every situation. If you need any help, ask God to help you. Do what is right because it is the right thing to do, not because you are trying to impress somebody. Be the best kind of person you can imagine being just because that is the best way to be.

Wise words "Do the right thing because it is the right thing to do, not because you are trying to impress somebody."

I'm going to try to do that, but it's difficult right now to focus on the fact that the Bishop had a revelation about me instead of the negative opinions of the others.

Edited November 21, 2014 by Silhouette

[bluebell]

bluebell and Duncan, I've asked myself the same question of why the Bishop would even tell me what those people said. I guess I'm glad he did though, just so I can be aware of people's opinions of me. I am trying so hard to view it that they are concerned for my welfare in the Gospel, but it's proving difficult.

Theirs is a legitimate concern. When my mother was RS president, she asked for a newly re activated sister to serve in a calling and even though she agreed she soon stopped coming and wouldn't have anything to do with the church anymore.

My mom shed tears over the sister because she felt like it was her fault she stopped coming.

It's love and concern for you that they are worried. But the calling comes from God so after voicing their thoughts they need to embrace you in the calling completely.

[JAHS]

one thing too is don't get too caught up in what they think, serve the people and they'll hopefully turn around-it's not easy for sure

 

remember what Dr. Seuss said once, people who matter don't care and people who care don't matter"

 

cha cha cha

I agree with Duncan; just do the job, expect respect, and don't worry about what they might be thinking.

[Ahab]

Wise words "Do the right thing because it is the right thing to do, not because you are trying to impress somebody."

I'm going to try to do that, but it's difficult right now to focus on the fact that the Bishop had a revelation about me instead of the negative opinions of the others.

Dismiss the negative thoughts as soon as you can. Right now would be best.

And one other thing too. Don't be too hard on yourself when you mess up or don't do as well as you would like to have done. All that matters is that you keep striving for perfection, even when you have just messed up. Go forward, not dwelling on any past mistakes in your past, leaving all of that in the past as you go forward.

Be obsessed with not dwelling on anything bad in your past, as if you can't even remember ever messing up in your past, and don't let anyone else make you want to remember that stuff.

Like, what? I did what? I don't even remember messing up like that, but oh well, that's not even something good that I want to remember.

Cognitive dissonance can be a good thing, ya know.

[Silhouette]

I too believe the Bishop made a big mistake in telling you the specifics of the opposition to your calling... He didn't have to go into detail...

I don't know that I'd tell the aux pres that you know of her opposition...yet... but I would just go into it with the resolve to do your very best, and rely on the bishop's confirmation in calling you and be confident that you will have spiritual suppport. If the aux pres treats you badly, is standoffish, etc., you can then tell her you know of her concerns about you and assure her you want to do your very best and ask for her help and support.

On a personal note to you from me, Silhouette, I'm so glad you have reactivated, that you continued the way you did while inactive. I was inactive for too many years (not endowed)... years that I have deep regret over, but there's nothing I can do about them... when I pray, often I will say how sorry I am that I cannot bring back those years, but all I can do is go forward every day and year from now till my appointed time comes to a close. So I encourage you to not let anything or anyone stand in your way of continuing on as you are... fulfill this calling and rely on the Spirit and on the Savior... all good wishes...

GG

I'm sorry that you are worried about the years you missed. It is a painful situation indeed. Because of our inactivity we did not raise our children in the Gospel. They are very much "of the world" now, with no knowledge of spiritual things whatsoever. No idea of the Savior, no idea of a loving Father in Heaven. Nothing to fall back on in times of despair and sorrow.

We stopped going to Church when they were both very small. They are 22 and 20 now. I'll share something very personal with you, Garden Girl, about this calling that I didn't mention in my

OP.

I went to the Bishop some weeks ago, one of my regular visits with him, and expressed sorrow for not having raised my children in the Gospel. I asked how I might make up for this...what could I DO, for God's sake, to help my poor lost children, because it is my fault alone that we stopped going to Church. At that time he told me to watch General Conference and that I would get my answer there. So I watched. I took notes. I prayed. And I got nothing. No insight whatsoever as to how I could help my children, or what I could do to repent of this.

On Sunday I told my Bishop this. He said that he did indeed think that I would be held accountable by my Heavenly Father for not raising my children in the Gospel. But he said there was still the Atonement, which should give me hope if I but repented.

Then he presented me this calling, and said that this was to start my journey of repentance. He said it will take a long time, but that it was possible.

So I don't know, maybe I'm SUPPOSED to meet with hostility in this calling, and perhaps enduring the pain and hardship of it are meant to hone me spiritually.

I understand your pain at having missed so many years. Would that I had not missed my childrens' entire lives thus far, because of my refusal to endure a few things when they were small.

Edited November 21, 2014 by Silhouette

[pogi]

it's difficult right now to focus on the fact that the Bishop had a revelation about me instead of the negative opinions of the others.

 

Try not to look at it as if they are "negative" opinions.  They are just opinions, nothing personal I'm sure.  Prove their opinions wrong.  I am sure they will be happy to find out that they were wrong.  I think you will be surprised to find that they are actually on your side but simply had something else in mind.   

[Guest]

To the OP...I think the Bishop should have told you that no one wanted you, and the lengths he went too, to get you into this calling. Things like this can be disheartening to all involved. As for all involved, for the Bishop, for those whom should have believed their comments would be between themselves and the Bishop and to you. "Whom The Lord calls he qualifies". Go forward in faith...he will qualify you and all can only hope he is still qualifying the others as well.

[Calm]

This is one reason I'm having such a hard time reconciling the Bishop's revelation about me personally, and these folks' reaction. I would have thought that all those who are leaders and will have stewardship over me in this calling would be on the same page if this is from Heavenly Father. Or at least not be completely opposed to my being in the position.

But they don't have stewardship over or with you yet, the Lord may feel that giving relevation to the Bishop is enough or they may not have had sufficient chance to seek it. Did the bishop tell you he gave them a chance to think about it for awhile?

Perhaps the Lord needs to teach them a lesson about revelation and how leaders can get it for them and is using your experience to educate them. Or there may be something else they need to learn.

And perhaps the Lord is providing you an opportunity to grow in learning to let go of things that bother you that perhaps shouldn't.

Working with people who don't know you well can be hard. This way you know at least it is going to not only be challenging due to how you feel, but that they very much need you and your commitment (otherwise they would not be so concerned about the job being too much to handle). You can look on this as a compliment from the Lord that he knows you can do it well and that he cares enough to give a strong revelation to your bishop about you. Your bishop might have handled explaining the situation better to you but you can choose to focus on what positives this says about you or allow your apparent ( I am assuming this feeling is why you posted) insecurity cause you to focus on a negative interpretation (I would have a hard time myself focusing on the positive so I am not lecturing you, just presenting different ways to look at it that you can choose).

Edited November 21, 2014 by calmoriah

[Guest]

I'm sorry that you are worried about the years you missed. It is a painful situation indeed. Because of our inactivity we did not raise our children in the Gospel. They are very much "of the world" now, with no knowledge of spiritual things whatsoever. No idea of the Savior, no idea of a loving Father in Heaven. Nothing to fall back on in times of despair and sorrow.

We stopped going to Church when they were both very small. They are 22 and 20 now. I'll share something very personal with you, Garden Girl, about this calling that I didn't mention in my

OP.

I went to the Bishop some weeks ago, one of my regular visits with him, and expressed sorrow for not having raised my children in the Gospel. I asked how I might make up for this...what could I DO, for God's sake, to help my poor lost children, because it is my fault alone that we stopped going to Church. At that time he told me to watch General Conference and that I would get my answer there. So I watched. I took notes. I prayed. And I got nothing. No insight whatsoever as to how I could help my children, or what I could do to repent of this.

On Sunday I told my Bishop this. He said that he did indeed think that I would be held accountable by my Heavenly Father for not raising my children in the Gospel. But he said there was still the Atonement, which should give me hope if I but repented.

Then he presented me this calling, and said that this was to start my journey of repentance. He said it will take a long time, but that it was possible.

So I don't know, maybe I'm SUPPOSED to meet with hostility in this calling, and perhaps enduring the pain and hardship of it are meant to hone me spiritually.

I understand your pain at having missed so many years. Would that I had not missed my childrens' entire lives thus far, because of my refusal to endure a few things when they were small.

You are still around and so are the children...no matter their age, our children and all of God's children learn in three different ways. By example, by example and by example! You have so many more years to teach these lessons. As for myself...welcome back my sister. I am sure everyone else here feels the same way.

[CV75]

Then he proceeded to tell me that the Presidency involved in this position said very plainly that they did not want me in the position. 

Without referencing your conversation with the Bishop, you might approach the President of the organization you will be working in and ask what you can do to succeed in your new calling. Let him/her know your feelings about being called by revelation and the support of the Spirit you felt. People in new positions are supposed to get some face-to-face training and orientation anyway, and this would be a chance to establish how you will work with your organization leaders. Prayerfully think of ways he/she can help you, and share those ideas with him/her as well.

[Duncan]

OR you can let the air out of all their tires and just walk by with a air hose thing and be like, 'need this?' and they will love you for it!!!

[Traela]

Personally, I think the bishop was probably right to tell you of the presidency's reaction. Let's face it: if the presidency is that against having you in this calling, you are going to pick up on that. You do not need to be gaslighted by insincere protests of, "of course we are so happy to have you working with us!" It's better to go in knowing what the situation is, but also knowing absolutely that the bishop received revelation that YOU are to be given this calling.

I agree with CV75 that you would do well to directly approach the presidency.

[Ham Clam]

Hope it goes well. I will pray for you.

[Silhouette]

Thanks, everyone. I appreciate all of your advice and thoughts. I have some ideas for new ways to view this whole situation thanks to you folks. I'm going in with the casual(?) assumption that I can do this. I like that saying that someone famous said, "Whether you think you can or can't, you're right." I forget who said it, but I've always thought it was very wise.

[Silhouette]

To the OP...I think the Bishop should have told you that no one wanted you, and the lengths he went too, to get you into this calling. Things like this can be disheartening to all involved. As for all involved, for the Bishop, for those whom should have believed their comments would be between themselves and the Bishop and to you. "Whom The Lord calls he qualifies". Go forward in faith...he will qualify you and all can only hope he is still qualifying the others as well.

I like that statement, "Whom The Lord calls, He qualifies". I will surely keep that in mind and I'm sure it will strengthen me.

[Duncan]

 Thanks, everyone. I appreciate all of your advice and thoughts. I have some ideas for new ways to view this whole situation thanks to you folks. I'm going in with the casual(?) assumption that I can do this. I like that saying that someone famous said, "Whether you think you can or can't, you're right." I forget who said it, but I've always thought it was very wise.

 

 

I said it, you owe me $10

Edited November 21, 2014 by Duncan