Missionaries Going Home Early-Is This Everywhere?

[Duncan]

Last thing I want to do is open up any wounds or judge anyone who went home early, had a family member go home early or what have you in that regard. I was talking to the APs here a bit ago and on average one missionary goes home early every transfer in this mission and it's been like that since last spring thereabouts. They sent home 2 elders this week, one is going home very soon and the APs said they have 8 who are on the fence about going home or are in the process to get approved to go home. One sister missionary prayed about going home, God said yes but the Mission Pres. won't let her. I am gobsmacked by how many people are leaving, has anyone else noticed this? it's bonkers.

I am the ward mission leader here and so I work with these young people and I think I would run after anyone who bailed from our ward!

[blackstrap]

I think people are not as used to long hours and stressful work as they were 30 years ago. I suspect the army is finding the same problem with todays youth who don't yet have much experience with the working world and have been treated so gently in school. I am reminded of a conversation I had with a young man who was in the internship to be a doctor. He said many of the interns were reduced to tears and worse when confronted by older doctors who were training them. He said he had no problem with being yelled at by the residents etc. because he had been raised on a farm and had been yelled at by the best of them, his dad.

[Garden Girl]

To be frank, when it was announced that the age to serve was being lowered, I thought to myself.... Oh-oh... because I did feel it might be too young for a good many. Being away from home at such a young age, coupled with the rigors of a mission, coupled with emotional or mental immaturity, and naivete... will certainly take its toll.

While a young man or woman might be enthused and serious about wanting to serve (witness the response in increased numbers applying), the reality sets in very quickly, and not all are up to it... One 19 1/2 year old young man from our ward who went out became so homesick he nearly came home. It did not surprise me because he was so close to his family, particularly his mom... great family and he really wanted to go on a mission but being away from them was extremely difficult. He did manage to serve a full mission and is glad he was able to do so.

But some 18 year old boys and 19 year old girls may be just too young...

GG

[Kenngo1969]

True. All the age change did was open the window wider. Going at a younger age is now an option. It should not be understood as a requirement. I know people who are 18 going on 30, and others who are 30 going on 12.

[Avatar4321]

I came home early for medical reasons. I hated coming home. But I haven't noticed any trends. Of course, with the new missionary force and a new generation going out, who knows what will happen.

Maybe we need some more "Forget yourself and get to work" moments.

[ERayR]

IMNSHO it has a lot to do with our not teaching our younguns to handle the hard things. We have not taught them to handle hardship. We give them everything they want so they don't know sacrifice. They think a three day handcart trek in the middle of the summer is a hardship.

[why me]

I think that parents have much to do with this too. They also need skills to prepare their children for missions. And many may not have such skills to do this. I have this feeling that many young people are rather self centered with unhealthy egos. If one talks to bosses they will tell you that young people have not a clue about what is needed for the workplace: discipline, be on time, don't call in sick unless one is sick etc. A mission would be no different. No sleep ins.

So, parents have much to play in this. One cannot expect a teenager who has life given to them on a plate to suddenly shape up and be a missionary. Or for that matter a good worker.

[why me]

IMNSHO it has a lot to do with our not teaching our younguns to handle the hard things. We have not taught them to handle hardship. We give them everything they want so they don't know sacrifice. They think a three day handcart trek in the middle of the summer is a hardship.

Life has not gotten any easier for the young. Real life is just around the corner for many teenagers and the picture may not be pretty. We need to remember that the mormon church is a world wide church where young members in europe find it hard to find a job since the unemployment rate is sky high. And when in their twenties, the situation is no different. And parents are unemployed too. Perhaps these young people who then serve missions understand the complexities of life. But then again, maybe not. But the situation can be cured with good missionary prep classes and to have parents teach their children the notion of work and duty.

[Robert F. Smith]

IMNSHO it has a lot to do with our not teaching our younguns to handle the hard things. We have not taught them to handle hardship. We give them everything they want so they don't know sacrifice. They think a three day handcart trek in the middle of the summer is a hardship.

Used to be that Mormons had a particularly good reputation as hard workers. That stood me in good stead wherever I went among non-Mormons. Prosperity and easy living could indeed be a disaster. I know an undisciplined young man here in Utah Valley who went to school with farm boys, but he wouldn't hang out with them and made fun of their manner of speech. Too bad that he doesn't realize that they actually get up early every day and do their chores without fail, while he can't even remember to put out the trash container on Thursday mornings. Which of them is closer to manhood?

[canard78]

IMNSHO it has a lot to do with our not teaching our younguns to handle the hard things. We have not taught them to handle hardship. We give them everything they want so they don't know sacrifice. They think a three day handcart trek in the middle of the summer is a hardship.

In my day we 'ad coal for bread.

We walked 10 miles to school, up 'ill both ways.

Luxury!

(Said with a broad Yorkshire accent)

[tyler90az]

while he can't even remember to put out the trash container on Thursday mornings

You have an interesting perspective on manhood.

[Johnnie Cake]

What is the reason given for these missionaries wanting to go home early? I can understand it if they've lost belief, broken mission rules or have medical issues..but if they're leaving just because it's hard work...shame on them...what did they expect?

[why me]

What is the reason given for these missionaries wanting to go home early? I can understand it if they've lost belief, broken mission rules or have medical issues..but if they're leaving just because it's hard work...shame on them...what did they expect?

A nice life for two years which it probably can be with the right attitude. I sometimes tell missionaries that it is just two years of their lives and these two years can be used as a wonderful life experience. First, one needs to live with several partners during those two years. Also, one must have a very regular schedule and keep to the schedule. And good study habits. A

All the above prepares one for life and togetherness with a significant other.

[Hamba Tuhan]

A poster on another LDS message board said their local mission president (in the American South) had told them in the priesthood leadership session of stake conference that he was losing a missionary at least every month due to 'technology addiction' -- didn't think they could continue living without 24-hour access to texting, Facebook, gaming systems, portable music players, etc.We had a four-day deacons quorum camp in January, and two of the boys showed up with portable gaming systems and an entire backpack filled with game cartridges. I was stunned at first. We were in a wild area filled with caves, narrow gorges, stunning waterfalls, and wide-open spaces. I spoke to the boys about actually living life, and then the games got locked up in the quorum advisor's boot. After one day, the boys who'd brought the games were complaining of boredom. It's not just that they don't know how to work; they don't even know how to play.

[bcuzbcuz]

It's not just that they don't know how to work; they don't even know how to play.

I agree completely. I have worked for 15 years with inner-city youth who have either dropped out or been kicked out of school. Usually, they have "alphabet syndrome" (ADHD, ADD, ODD, and many others) And they are addicted to computer games. Most haven't a clue how to enjoy life. As you say, neither work nor play engages them. They are, however, proficient at being bored and boring.

[halconero]

Ugh...those Assistants should NOT be giving that kind of information out about the missionaries in your mission. It's something between them, the mission president and the individual missionary.

Those kind of APs were generally the ones who liked to gossip, maybe let slip little things about transfers from time to time, or hint at problems. It's an abuse of their assignment.

This hits home for me, as I served in that assignment for 9 months of my mission. Information about missionaries going home, even if it is just the number going home is something that shouldn't be spread around.

Duncan, next time those Elders want to talk about something like that I would ask them if that info is something their mission president would be happy to share with anyone. Watch for their reaction and I promise you they'll look uncomfortable.

To confirm, I would say yes, about one missionary out of the average mission size of 180-200 did go home. That's the average though. That meant sometimes the mission could go for a number of months and then see 2 or three go home in one month. Out of every 15 missionaries who went home I would say that only one went home or disobedience, maybe another out of personal desire to leave. The others were due to mental health issues that were best treated at home. Many, but not all, end up going back out, but maybe not to the same mission or areas.

Now that most missions are increasing in size you have to take that percentage into account and apply it to a larger number of missionaries. A lot of North American missions will have between 240-270 missionaries. So more missionaries maybe going home, but not necessarily a greater percentage.

[Calm]

True. All the age change did was open the window wider. Going at a younger age is now an option. It should not be understood as a requirement. I know people who are 18 going on 30, and others who are 30 going on 12.

Hopefully, once the novelty wears off, they will make the decision based less on being able to do so and more on being capable of going.

[Calm]

You have an interesting perspective on manhood.

Meeting your responsibilities, whatever they may be, isn't a sign of maturity now?

[Storm Rider]

In the USA we have created the cult of self-esteem and made it are requisite for education and parenting when in reality it is anything but self-esteem rather self-delusion. Too many have moved from an agrarian lifestyle into the world of concrete jungles where the hardest thing to do on a daily basis is the know where the TV remote is. Self-esteem is the natural response to hard work and knowing you have completed a task/job well. A river that runs clean and pure is one that has strong banks. Strong adults result from having childhoods where there has been enough disciplines to keep them moving in correct manner with the flexibility to run with agility around all obstructions. Rivers without proper banks results in a swap with no depth and full rot. A life lived without any disciplines results in the same things.

[Alan]

Personally, I think we need to get back to basics in regard to full-time missionary work. There is too much flitting about these days. Too many zone mettings, leadership meetings, p-day gatherings etc. The missionaries in my ward weren't able to use their car much for proselyting because they were forever driving here there and everywhere for meetings and zone p-day activities. They used up nearly all their mileage allowance doing things like that.

I have also found they have a great reluctance to tract, and when they do they do not keep records of where they have been or what was said. There is too little structure these days in my view.

I have been home now for over 30 years and although i know times have changed, missionary work was a lot more effective then. In those days the church baptised similar numbers each year as it does now, but with less than half the missionary force.

In my ward 2 of our missionaries came home in recent times, for different reasons. I feel generally that many missionaries are not sufficiently prepared when they go out. Some do not even know the basics of the gospel.

[Tacenda]

In the USA we have created the cult of self-esteem and made it are requisite for education and parenting when in reality it is anything but self-esteem rather self-delusion. Too many have moved from an agrarian lifestyle into the world of concrete jungles where the hardest thing to do on a daily basis is the know where the TV remote is. Self-esteem is the natural response to hard work and knowing you have completed a task/job well. A river that runs clean and pure is one that has strong banks. Strong adults result from having childhoods where there has been enough disciplines to keep them moving in correct manner with the flexibility to run with agility around all obstructions. Rivers without proper banks results in a swap with no depth and full rot. A life lived without any disciplines results in the same things.

Makes one worry about what our future leaders will be like. Great analogy Stormrider. I'd like to add, that the gaming can be terribly addictive, my husband hated when scout camps turned to spending time in a fancy cabin where the boys could bring their system and play. He couldn't believe they had to have those kinds of campouts to get the boys to come to scout camps. He missed the good ole days as a scout leader of taking the boys on a real "campout".

[why me]

A poster on another LDS message board said their local mission president (in the American South) had told them in the priesthood leadership session of stake conference that he was losing a missionary at least every month due to 'technology addiction' -- didn't think they could continue living without 24-hour access to texting, Facebook, gaming systems, portable music players, etc.

Not to mention just how many have been looking at internet porn before their mission. A mission would definitely be a problem for a porn addicted young person.

[pmccombs1]

I've been worrying about this ever since my daughter announced her desire to serve a mission. I think it's a great idea for her, but I realize she has absolutely zero work ethic, and it's probably the fault of her parents for not demanding enough.

It's been a number of years since I served. When I entered training, it was pretty evident to me that my MTC companion was only there for the laughs. It was going to be great fun, you know... dorm life, cafeteria food, classes, then a bus ride and an airplane! Oh, and going far away and seeing a strange land and meeting some new people and generally slobbing around and goofing off. Well, his first companion in the field was a farm boy from the midwest, and he wasn't afraid to work. Yeah, my MTC companion lasted about two weeks, then he cracked. And I mean, cracked. He left a note--and everything else--and boarded a bus by himself. In couple of days, the mission president gets a phone call from a US Embassy somewhere. They have this guy who claimed to be a US tourist who had lost his papers... finally it came out that he was a runaway LDS missionary and the paperwork was locked up at the mission office. I had some business at the office six months later, and they were only then gathering his stuff up to send back to him.

The question is, what to do about it? This problem of ease and dependence is serious business. It seems to be a problem of affluence, perhaps; I feel like my kids have a lot of luxuries that I didn't enjoy growing up, and that these things are impediments to the development of work ethic. It's too easy and convenient to live at my house. What are some strategies for preparing children to work? How are chores managed, and so forth? What are the rules?

[blackstrap]

Perhaps the mission prep classes held on the Stake level should include a boot camp environment with long days and physical labor and no technology .About 2 weeks of that and the herd would thin out some . Two hours a day alone with the scriptures ( actual paper ones ) and one's thoughts wouldn't hurt either.

[Garden Girl]

I think also that Latter Day Saint youth grow up in a more protected environment, physically and emotionally, than many young people. There is more emphasis on family... usually they are from two-parent homes. Their standards of behavior have been different than many other young people. Most are more innocent and/or naive... then they get sent out into the world. The real world... It can be almost overwhelming to some, but others are able to adjust... those that can't for whatever reason will most likely end up going home.

Opening up the field to larger numbers of these younger applicants also carries the possibility of increased percentage of returnees dropping out..

GG

Edited June 20, 2013 by Garden Girl