Missionaries Going Home Early-Is This Everywhere?

[cinepro]

I just read an article this morning about a trek, don't know where it was. The kids were out for a day and it got cold. Somebody, I guess, suffered from hypothermia, so the adults loaded everybody up and they went and found a nice warm barn to hang out in.

I thought, really? They want the pioneer experience, but only if it's not too uncomfortable? Heck. let 'em suffer. Might lose a couple along the way, but they'll really learn to appreciate what the pioneers went through.

Hypothermia? Maybe they should have made the experience more authentic by bringing along some tea and coffee.

[ERayR]

I just read an article this morning about a trek, don't know where it was. The kids were out for a day and it got cold. Somebody, I guess, suffered from hypothermia, so the adults loaded everybody up and they went and found a nice warm barn to hang out in.

I thought, really? They want the pioneer experience, but only if it's not too uncomfortable? Heck. let 'em suffer. Might lose a couple along the way, but they'll really learn to appreciate what the pioneers went through.

I'm kidding, of course. But we are raising a generation of wimps.

If they wanted authentic they should have gathered buffalo chips and built a fire.

[garza4411]

My mission was 25 years ago....6 of the eight in my district at the MTC went home early in some regard. I was one of two that went home on schedule. (Technically, I went home early....my mission began Jan 4 and went home Dec 21--the president had everyone's release early, we didn't ask for it.)

1 never showed up to the MTC

1 left the MTC before we headed to the field

4 got sent home for various things...I think two for discipline and two for medical.

[ERMD]

In my day we 'ad coal for bread.

We walked 10 miles to school, up 'ill both ways.

Luxury!

(Said with a broad Yorkshire accent)

You were lucky!

Well we had it tough. We used to have to get up out of the shoebox at twelve o'clock at night, and LICK the road clean with our tongues. We had half a handful of freezing cold gravel, worked twenty-four hours a day at the mill for fourpence every six years, and when we got home, our Dad would slice us in two with a bread knife.

[ERayR]

You were lucky!

Well we had it tough. We used to have to get up out of the shoebox at twelve o'clock at night, and LICK the road clean with our tongues. We had half a handful of freezing cold gravel, worked twenty-four hours a day at the mill for fourpence every six years, and when we got home, our Dad would slice us in two with a bread knife.

Well after I took care of our herd of dinosaurs ...

[ERMD]

I served close to 30 years ago. Our MTC district of 8 all lasted the duration. I can recall 3 Elders and 1 Sister being sent home, all for transgression/worthiness issues during my time in the field.

My first counselor served in Spain. He says that one "contest" going on while he was there was to see who could travel the farthest from the mission. Several missionaries made it to France and Germany. One pair flew to NYC. The mission president finally got wind of it and took decisive action.

[Kenngo1969]

It is being forced to go without deodorant and hair products that is so harrowing.

[cinepro]

I served close to 30 years ago. Our MTC district of 8 all lasted the duration. I can recall 3 Elders and 1 Sister being sent home, all for transgression/worthiness issues during my time in the field.

My first counselor served in Spain. He says that one "contest" going on while he was there was to see who could travel the farthest from the mission. Several missionaries made it to France and Germany. One pair flew to NYC. The mission president finally got wind of it and took decisive action.

Wow. On my mission in the US, we considered it daring to venture 100 yards across the state boundary and take a picture showing the "Welcome to Alabama" sign.

[blackstrap]

A year or so before I arrive at my mission there was a big kufuffle in that the missionaries had formed the Santana surfin' and Jeepin' society, complete with business cards. The new MP arrived and held a meeting of all missionaries in which he busted APs ZLs to junior comps etc. Some greenies had been pretty messed up by the influence of the older guys. Some went home. I only recall one missionary going home early and that was because both his parents died in a car accident. It sent him for a loop and he stepped out of line.

[mtomm]

This is not happening in my stake. We had a bit of a rash of them a while back (some for medical reasons so they don't count) but in the last year I can't think of any.

[Bill “Papa” Lee]

Last thing I want to do is open up any wounds or judge anyone who went home early, had a family member go home early or what have you in that regard. I was talking to the APs here a bit ago and on average one missionary goes home early every transfer in this mission and it's been like that since last spring thereabouts. They sent home 2 elders this week, one is going home very soon and the APs said they have 8 who are on the fence about going home or are in the process to get approved to go home. One sister missionary prayed about going home, God said yes but the Mission Pres. won't let her. I am gobsmacked by how many people are leaving, has anyone else noticed this? it's bonkers.

I am the ward mission leader here and so I work with these young people and I think I would run after anyone who bailed from our ward!

You post aid "everywhere"...sounds like your area. Could you expand. I do agree many should not go.

[Duncan]

You post aid "everywhere"...sounds like your area. Could you expand. I do agree many should not go.

well, that's what I want to know, are other missions experiencing this as well?

[Widow's Son]

Part of the problem lies with upbringing. There is a difference in being world aware and being worldly.

We shield them in a G rated home and then thrust them out to an R rated world. Substance abuse, alcoholism, domestic violence, extreme poverty and other harsh realities are every day occurances in most missions. We had an Elder in my mission go home because he refused to enter a home where tobacco or alcohol were used. That cut out 95% of the field. When called, by the Mission President, his stake presidency father applauded his actions saying "that is how we raised our kids and exactly what I told him to do."

A lot of kids are doing just fine, but their Mothers are freaking out. When a new sister missionary was called to South America, I overheard a Mom say that she would never let her daughter go to a "filthy" place.

There are only so many slots at Temple Square and Provo/Orem. If the little prince and princesses can't/won't/shouldn't handle the terrestrial world then don't send them.

If they are going to go then they need to go with eyes opened ahead of time or the shock may overwhelm them. Parents need to just trust the Lord and the Mission Presidents.

[Kenngo1969]

Part of the problem lies with upbringing. There is a difference in being world aware and being worldly.

We shield them in a G rated home and then thrust them out to an R rated world. Substance abuse, alcoholism, domestic violence, extreme poverty and other harsh realities are every day occurances in most missions. We had an Elder in my mission go home because he refused to enter a home where tobacco or alcohol were used. That cut out 95% of the field. When called, by the Mission President, his stake presidency father applauded his actions saying "that is how we raised our kids and exactly what I told him to do."

A lot of kids are doing just fine, but their Mothers are freaking out. When a new sister missionary was called to South America, I overheard a Mom say that she would never let her daughter go to a "filthy" place.

There are only so many slots at Temple Square and Provo/Orem. If the little prince and princesses can't/won't/shouldn't handle the terrestrial world then don't send them.

If they are going to go then they need to go with eyes opened ahead of time or the shock may overwhelm them. Parents need to just trust the Lord and the Mission Presidents.

I admit, I put my guard up when I saw that you'd replied, but ... Largely, I agree with what you've said. Whodathunkit?!

[cinepro]

We shield them in a G rated home and then thrust them out to an R rated world. Substance abuse, alcoholism, domestic violence, extreme poverty and other harsh realities are every day occurances in most missions.

Maybe the meeting tomorrow will be to encourage members to help prepare their children for missions by increasing the amount of substance abuse, alcoholism, domestic violence and extreme poverty in the home.

[Widow's Son]

I admit, I put my guard up when I saw that you'd replied, but ... Largely, I agree with what you've said. Whodathunkit?!

I don't recall any kerfuffle with you and haven't been very active on this forum. Perhaps you confuse me with someone else?

Edited June 22, 2013 by Widow's Son

[Bill “Papa” Lee]

You post "everywhere"...sounds like your area. Could you expand. I do agree many should not go.

[Stargazer]

... he can't even remember to put out the trash container on Thursday mornings.

What?!?!? Your trash goes out on Thursday? How bizarre. Here, it's Tuesday.

[Bill “Papa” Lee]

Wow...seems I'm replying mw own ports. Odd to say the least. Edited June 23, 2013 by Bill “Papa” Lee

[Palerider]

I served my mission 40 years ago. The work wasn't a bother at all because I knew what I was there for and was mentally prepared. What I wasn't prepared for was a first companion/trainer (who was also the district leader) who planned our day around making tape recordings of the BofM for members that most times lived outside our district boundaries. We had to be back to the flat every hour or so to change the tapes...........

He would do anything to avoid really working or tracting and in my first three months we taught 5 discussions as I recall. It was pretty depressing.

I never wanted to go home, I just wanted to work differently than what we were doing.

Moving forward 35 years....

When I was asked to speak at a combined priesthood/relief society meeting while in the Bishopric, I addressed the issue of children suffering from the alphabet diseases (having done some research on them) and made a good case for most ADHD being a lack of discipline rather than an actual psycological/physical condition.

The studies showed that in order for any disease (psycological or physical) to be valid it has to strike fairly equally in all populations and between the sexes (unless it is directly related to the gender of the individual, like ovarian cancer).

What researchers find is that ADHD in the U.S. occurs much more frequently in boys than in girls and also that it is quite low or nearly absent in populations of children in Japan, Europe and South America. At least that's what the studies showed when I gave my talk. I haven't checked lately to see if those stats have changed.

The conclusion then starts to look as if ADHD is being greatly over diagnosed in the U.S. and perhaps what is needed is more direct engagement between parents (particularly fathers) and their children regarding what is and what isn't appropriate behavior and that children be given the opportunity to experience consequences of failing to discipline themselves.....

Children don't learn to give their full attention over increasingly longer periods of time unless someone seriously demands it of them.

Personally, my parents had a number of ways of demanding that I give my full attention when it was required. Some of them are admittedly not too popular these days.

The second study I addressed was one done in Japan that gave evidence of significant lack of brain development (brain mapping) in areas of attentiveness in real world situations, when children were allowed excessive time on virtual games and high-tec fun. In other words.....get your kids off the freakin' computer or his/her brain isn't going to develop properly in some important areas of behavior.

The thing I was really shocked at was the backlash that came from a few members of the ward (who probably had ADHD kids) who were insulted that I would even speak to such issues.

It was like they were puting their hands over their ears saying, "We don't want to hear what you're saying!!!! The implication is we're bad parents and we can't live with that!!!! Stop!

Maybe I was expecting too much.....

Edited June 23, 2013 by Palerider

[daz2]

I haven't read all the comments, but just wanted to write that I am not aware of any "trend" of more people leaving their missions early. The laws of large numbers would say that there will always be outliers--geographical areas or times where more people, or many more people than usual, leave early. When I served, 40 years ago, I had a friend in an SLC ward where there was a string of 5 or 6 elders in the same ward leave to MTC for home--mostly for homesickness but some for other emotional disorders. Unfortunately, there is a stigma applied by some members of the Church to those who return early. It should not be that way--it is none of our business why, our duty is extending love, compassion, support, and positive help. I have a friend who left his mission twice--once he caught a flight home from a foreign mission. As is policy in circumstances like that, when he worked through his emotional or other issues, he was permitted to re-enter the mission field, but this time in the U.S. And a second time he left and returned home. This time he stayed home and did not return. I really admire this friend because he worked through things, and is one of the hardest working, most devoted members of the Church I know.

[Deborah]

What I wasn't prepared for was a first companion/trainer

I think this is one of the greatest challenges. It's certainly one my son faced. They always seemed to put the challenging missionaries with him hoping he'd straighten them out.

[halconero]

It's not terribly uncommon sadly. Although a few going home were for other reasons, I reported with a group of fifteen elders, and only seven of us finished at the correct time.

Every member a mission president eh? I respect your service, but don't judge the kids prematurely. They could be as stressed about it as the mission president and just need to get it off their chest.

"You know my dad said that anything said before the word 'but' doesn't apply."

They could be stressed. They still need to be careful. Assistants are pseudo-counselors to the President, and just as a member of the bishopric needs to be careful about talking about delicate matters concerning members (even when stressed) so do assistants.

[Traela]

Part of the problem lies with upbringing. There is a difference in being world aware and being worldly.

We shield them in a G rated home and then thrust them out to an R rated world. Substance abuse, alcoholism, domestic violence, extreme poverty and other harsh realities are every day occurances in most missions. We had an Elder in my mission go home because he refused to enter a home where tobacco or alcohol were used. That cut out 95% of the field. When called, by the Mission President, his stake presidency father applauded his actions saying "that is how we raised our kids and exactly what I told him to do."

A lot of kids are doing just fine, but their Mothers are freaking out. When a new sister missionary was called to South America, I overheard a Mom say that she would never let her daughter go to a "filthy" place.

There are only so many slots at Temple Square and Provo/Orem. If the little prince and princesses can't/won't/shouldn't handle the terrestrial world then don't send them.

If they are going to go then they need to go with eyes opened ahead of time or the shock may overwhelm them. Parents need to just trust the Lord and the Mission Presidents.

While I agree the problem lies in the upbringing, I think in most cases it's not that the kids are too sheltered. It's that they are too lazy. In my area, what we hear the most about are kids wanting to go home because they are not used to working all day, every day, or because they are addicted to video games.