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A fist bump instead of a handshake


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On 9/17/2023 at 1:13 PM, Pyreaux said:

Today, I made my selection of people I picked to greet with an incoming handshake. They saw me incoming and held out a fist... I adjust to a fist bump. As the one who first initiated the greeting, I couldn't help feeling they were impolite not to greet me in-kind. Why are they doing it? Is it a new habit, is it their natural reaction, they didn't notice it was supposed to be a handshake. Did Covid destroy the handshake in my ward?

Are you all losing the handshake in your ward?

Bonus: Is there Utah/Texas Westerners here aware of Southern manners that men aren't to initiate a handshake with a lady? As not to obligate them to touch you. You have to wait for them to offer their hand first. I don't notice if that's the way in my Ward, half are transplants and these sunny women usually always immediately shoot out an expectant handshake, as I've seen.

Covid, that's all.

Fear of too much physical contact.

Never push physical contact if the person is not responsive, it is a little like hugging women who do not want to hug you.

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On 9/17/2023 at 6:28 PM, Pyreaux said:

So, don't breathe... and get married (no "singling" ^_^). But touching an unwashed hand after it touched the church doorhandle then touch you face is safe, that's just how you catch the flu or rhinovirus, I guess.

We have hand sanitizer at every door. So neener neener.

Edited by mfbukowski
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21 hours ago, Pyreaux said:

I know. I don't mean to be mean. I'm not a Grammer Nazi, my unedited posts are often riddled with typos. I just can't resist the low hanging fruit of comedy, I regret that sometimes it can come at another's expense. I just hope it's lighthearted or so funny so they can laugh at it too.

No problem.  I also viewed your comment as lighthearted   🙂

A lot of people took Canada's Prime Minister's Trudeau "speaking moistly" 
comment on COVID and created a song out of it.   The press conference is here .
The song is here.  Now that was funny.

Edited by telnetd
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On 9/17/2023 at 3:13 PM, Pyreaux said:

Bonus: Is there Utah/Texas Westerners here aware of Southern manners that men aren't to initiate a handshake with a lady? As not to obligate them to touch you. You have to wait for them to offer their hand first.

Someone already confirmed this, but yes, this is considered good manners - though I suspect it is a practice which likely die off due to changes in cultural norms.

The underlying principle is that a gentleman should never impose himself physically upon a woman. It is the lady's choice whether or not she wants to shake hands, so you are supposed to wait for her to extend her hand.

 

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20 minutes ago, Amulek said:

Someone already confirmed this, but yes, this is considered good manners - though I suspect it is a practice which likely die off due to changes in cultural norms.

The underlying principle is that a gentleman should never impose himself physically upon a woman. It is the lady's choice whether or not she wants to shake hands, so you are supposed to wait for her to extend her hand.

 

It would be nice to figure out how to do that with all people.  

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56 minutes ago, Rain said:

It would be nice to figure out how to do that with all people.  

Just carry a sawed- off shotgun. 🤨

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On 9/17/2023 at 1:13 PM, Pyreaux said:

Today, I made my selection of people I picked to greet with an incoming handshake. They saw me incoming and held out a fist... I adjust to a fist bump. As the one who first initiated the greeting, I couldn't help feeling they were impolite not to greet me in-kind. Why are they doing it? Is it a new habit, is it their natural reaction, they didn't notice it was supposed to be a handshake. Did Covid destroy the handshake in my ward?

Are you all losing the handshake in your ward?

Bonus: Is there Utah/Texas Westerners here aware of Southern manners that men aren't to initiate a handshake with a lady? As not to obligate them to touch you. You have to wait for them to offer their hand first. I don't notice if that's the way in my Ward, half are transplants and these sunny women usually always immediately shoot out an expectant handshake, as I've seen.

In my case, I'd be doing it because I'm left-handed. Shaking hands acquiesces to dexter supremacy, and the older I get, the less inclined I am to do that.

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46 minutes ago, Rain said:

I don't understand what you are trying to say here.

@Amulek   said

"The underlying principle is that a gentleman should never impose himself physically upon a woman. It is the lady's choice whether or not she wants to shake hands, so you are supposed to wait for her to extend her hand."

I said:

"Just carry a sawed-off shotgun"

So if some guy wants to  impose himself physically upon a woman, she would have a sawed-off shotgun to protect herself.  Ha Ha.

It was just a joke.

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1 hour ago, tagriffy said:

In my case, I'd be doing it because I'm left-handed. Shaking hands acquiesces to dexter supremacy, and the older I get, the less inclined I am to do that.

So one is supposed to know- having never met you- if you are left or right handed?  Lest they are showing dexter supremacy?

😉

Edited by mfbukowski
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34 minutes ago, mfbukowski said:

@Amulek   said

"The underlying principle is that a gentleman should never impose himself physically upon a woman. It is the lady's choice whether or not she wants to shake hands, so you are supposed to wait for her to extend her hand."

I said:

"Just carry a sawed-off shotgun"

So if some guy wants to  impose himself physically upon a woman, she would have a sawed-off shotgun to protect herself.  Ha Ha.

It was just a joke.

Ok. I wasn't thinking of women in my comment.  I was thinking of men and the principle of letting others extend their hands. The idea works ok with women because she will always get the choice if you follow the principle, but it is more difficult when it is a man who may not want to shake with either a man or a woman.

Writing this I thought about women with women, but I rarely see women extending hands.

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2 hours ago, mfbukowski said:

So one is supposed to know- having never met you- if you are left or right handed?  Lest they are showing dexter supremacy?

😉

Theoretically they could tell by the fact my watch is on my right wrist. 😉

In actual practice, if someone offers to shake hands, I profer my left fist for bumping. They adjust and bump fists. It's only if they refuse that I would suspect something, but I couldn't be sure if it is racism or dexter supremacy.

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2 hours ago, Rain said:

...but it is more difficult when it is a man who may not want to shake with either a man or a woman.

Not here.

You present a hand to be shaken, and the response is a fist.

Hand switches to fist- noting mentally the fear of covid.

And then there is the elbow to elbow touch, hereabouts.

This is best for men at church because most men wear coats, so you have cloth bumping cloth. Nobody is actually touching skin at all

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With my refugee organization stuff we don't do handshakes either - until the last event I went to. It really surprised me when someone stuck her hand out. 

I don't see it at my husband's work functions often. 

The only time I see much of it is when there are several male members of the church.

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8 hours ago, Rain said:

It would be nice to figure out how to do that with all people.  

My wife occasionally likes to watch game shows from the '50's through the 80's.  The hosts routinely kiss female contestants on the lips as a greeting, or do well on the game, and it is regarded as a simple greeting.

To our aged eyes, we remember those days well but now it is absolutely SHOCKING how that seems perfectly routine.

We all have changed culturally a massive amount.

Half the time, it is so offensive to her that she has to turn it off before the game is done, yet we remember well how unnoticeable it was at the time!

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3 hours ago, MiserereNobis said:

I haven’t visited Sacrament Meeting since before Covid. But dang, y’all are sooooo into handshakes! Everyone, everywhere, all the time. Anyone have a cultural history explanation?

I think we're all just testing for evil spirits*.  You never know when one will show up for a sacrament meeting.  I guess you passed!

(*You may already understand the joke, but in case you don't, see Doctrine and Covenants section 129).

Edited by InCognitus
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2 hours ago, MiserereNobis said:

Not a single person at my work (130 or so employees, 1800 students) shakes hands that I've seen. There might be a fist bump, but if there's physical contact most teachers briefly touch your arm along with a "hey" or "hello!"

I might have seen someone at the parishes I've been in (4 since 2008) shake hands, but I can't really remember it. No one's offered to shake my hand. I'm fine with that. I loved that when I went to Mass as a non-Catholic I was left alone to think, pray, meditate and not shake hands and small talk.

All the hippies I've known (and been) hug, but that's an obvious choice based on clothing/appearance, ha.

Yep, when I converted I thought it was weird to shake hands YET AGAIN with a guy I shook hands with last week !

Can't I just wave and say "hi !" or something, or just talk about how the week went or something?

Joining the church includes a LOT of cultural re-orientation. 

"INVESTIGATORS" to me should dress like Sherlock Holmes! 😏

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28 minutes ago, InCognitus said:

(*You may already understand the joke, but in case you don't, see Doctrine and Covenants section 129).

Translation: this is a temple joke! ;) Not meant to be taken literally, but symbolically

 

😱😟

Edited by mfbukowski
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