Prophet’s GC talk on being more kind

[MustardSeed]

Maybe I’m projecting but I notice a gentler tone in general here since conference.  I appreciate that.  Im curious the impact of that talk on people- I needed to hear it and since then I have been much more mindful of one particular aspect of my personality- my loyalties.  I have really tried not to backbite since that talk.  I have long recognized my tendency to be disloyal and I hate that about myself.  His talk was a good shoulder shake for me. 
 

Anyone who didn’t hear it, I highly recommend.  I don’t recall which session- Saturday afternoon? 

[Bernard Gui]

11 minutes ago, MustardSeed said:

Maybe I’m projecting but I notice a gentler tone in general here since conference.  I appreciate that.  Im curious the impact of that talk on people- I needed to hear it and since then I have been much more mindful of one particular aspect of my personality- my loyalties.  I have really tried not to backbite since that talk.  I have long recognized my tendency to be disloyal and I hate that about myself.  His talk was a good shoulder shake for me. 
 

Anyone who didn’t hear it, I highly recommend.  I don’t recall which session- Saturday afternoon? 

It is a message badly needed. Today’s world seems less forgiving and more judgmental. More justice than mercy.

[Teancum]

39 minutes ago, MustardSeed said:

Maybe I’m projecting but I notice a gentler tone in general here since conference.  I appreciate that.  Im curious the impact of that talk on people- I needed to hear it and since then I have been much more mindful of one particular aspect of my personality- my loyalties.  I have really tried not to backbite since that talk.  I have long recognized my tendency to be disloyal and I hate that about myself.  His talk was a good shoulder shake for me. 
 

Anyone who didn’t hear it, I highly recommend.  I don’t recall which session- Saturday afternoon? 

The talk was the last one in the Sunday AM session.

[MustardSeed]

40 minutes ago, Bernard Gui said:

It is a message badly needed. Today’s world seems less forgiving and more judgmental. More justice than mercy.

I do believe it’s the most important message we could receive currently. We are an angry community. I can only speak for the US but there’s clearly zero trust for strangers, it’s open range for aggression and displacement, and we seem to feel entitled to do damage. I could blame it on the Internet or on (rhymes with wallofhicks) but neither of those things are going away. I appreciated his reminder. Where else are we going to receive that message? It’s a scary thought to imagine that perhaps we won’t get that message anywhere else. ☠️

[bluebell]

52 minutes ago, MustardSeed said:

I do believe it’s the most important message we could receive currently. We are an angry community. I can only speak for the US but there’s clearly zero trust for strangers, it’s open range for aggression and displacement, and we seem to feel entitled to do damage. I could blame it on the Internet or on (rhymes with wallofhicks) but neither of those things are going away. I appreciated his reminder. Where else are we going to receive that message? It’s a scary thought to imagine that perhaps we won’t get that message anywhere else. ☠️

I read an article a couple of months ago that talked about how the social contract in our culture has completely broken down.  More and more people are only about themselves, and worse, they believe that only caring about serving yourself and your needs is superior way to be.  In the past I think that most people recognized the good in caring about others even if they didn't always behave accordingly.

I currently have a neighbor that has been a real jerk to some of the neighborhood kids (including mine).  He's not above swearing at them or telling them that they are going to have a problem if they even accidently cross his property line.  And this is to 8-9 year olds.  Before hearing Pres. Nelson's talk, I would have been over there telling him that it wasn't my 9 year old that he was going to have a problem with, it was me and my husband, if I caught him threatening him again.  After Pres. Nelson's talk, I had to calm myself down and realize that there were better ways to handle the situation and that I needed to have grace for my neighbor and whatever was seriously wrong in his life that would cause him to think responding to kids that way was acceptable.  I talked to my son about never going onto his property for any reason, and then we talked about how he probably needed our sympathy more than our anger (and sure that last part was slightly passive aggressive but I'm trying). 

I loved Pres. Nelson's message.  We are saturated in "revenge for any slight, get yours at all costs, justice for me at whatever price" rhetoric and the basic bonds of society are breaking down because of it.  We need more peacemakers but in order for that to happen we have to actually be peacemakers.  It's not someone else's job to make things better.

[MustardSeed]

I was at the Seattle airport last week, and anyone who spent any time in Seattle knows the homeless situation. You almost become blind to the struggle. Anyway I had an opportunity to help someone in a very special way, and I passed it up. I regret it. I tried to make up for it by being extra generous with somebody a few days later, but I’m still bothered by my selfishness.

21 minutes ago, bluebell said:

More and more people are only about themselves, and worse, they believe that only caring about serving yourself and your needs is superior way to be. 

Sometimes I see videos of people being selfless and it’s supposed to bring us to tears- gosh, shouldn’t those selfless attitudes be daily common occurrences? I have work to do.  The Lord is no doubt displeased with humanity, or the lack thereof. 😞

Edited April 18, 2023 by MustardSeed

[LoudmouthMormon]

It was an outstanding talk, very timely.  Very personally relevant.

"Peacemakers Needed" - https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2023/04/47nelson?lang=eng

 

Quote

Many seem eager to damage another’s reputation with pathetic and pithy barbs!
...
Those who foster contention are taking a page out of Satan’s playbook, whether they realize it or not. “No man can serve two masters.”9 We cannot support Satan with our verbal assaults and then think that we can still serve God.

 

Dangit.  "Pithy Barbs" make up roughly 74.2% of my entire online personality.  I've gotten so good at using the tactics of contention to prove my (righteous and holy) points, I literally do it in my sleep.  I will routinely wake up with ideas of what to go Tweet or post about.  I'm honestly not sure how I can continue with my screen name and current avatar here.  

 

Quote

How we speak to and about others at home, at church, at work, and online really matters. Today, I am asking us to interact with others in a higher, holier way. Please listen carefully. “If there is anything virtuous, lovely, or of good report or praiseworthy” that we can say about another person—whether to his face or behind her back—that should be our standard of communication.

Grrrrr.  Ok. 

 

Quote

If a friend on social media has strong political or social views that violate everything you believe in, an angry, cutting retort by you will not help. Building bridges of understanding will require much more of you, but that is exactly what your friend needs.

I'm all about not being angry, I've maybe interacted out of anger perhaps twice in the last decade.  But dang - why does the Prophet gotta have issues with my cutting retorts?  I like cutting retorts almost as much as I like pithy barbs!  I could probably talk for ten minutes straight on the similarities and differences between the two, when one is more useful than the other, etc.

 

Quote

Brothers and sisters, we can literally change the world—one person and one interaction at a time. How? By modeling how to manage honest differences of opinion with mutual respect and dignified dialogue.

Yeah, yeah.  I know.  Dammit.  My other 25.8% of online interactions do stuff like that, and I already know the value.  *sigh*

 

Quote

Now, I am not talking about “peace at any price.” I am talking about treating others in ways that are consistent with keeping the covenant you make when you partake of the sacrament. You covenant to always remember the Savior. In situations that are highly charged and filled with contention, I invite you to remember Jesus Christ.

Good stuff.  Because I interact occasionally with pedophiles and their allies, lawbreakers and seditious revolutionaries, violent offenders, people who loathe me and think I'm evil and must be ended, people who invite me to drink bleach and go die in a hole.  I get regularly recurring death threats and invitations to come get violence done on me.   (Nothing to do with mormondialogue, at least nothing that anyone has ever mentioned. :))  I think about John 8:59 and 10:39 - two instances where folks were looking for combat.  Jesus hid and ran away.  I mean, we've also got an awful lot of support for taking up arms in self defense in the BoM, and Joseph Smith and Brigham Young are both quite clearly on record that there are occasionally more options than hiding and running away.  And we support the law, and the law is pretty clear about the right to self-defense.   I'm thinking I don't need to change my thinking or behavior on such matters.  Here's what I teach my kids:

When it comes to bad guys out to hurt you, we think about and practice 100 things:
- 80 ways to not be there in the first place.
- 15 ways to run away when you see it coming.
- 3 ways to hide if the bad guy is there and you can't get away.
- 2 ways to fight back.  One of those ways involves using possibly deadly force.

IN THAT ORDER.  So, [LMKid], if you ever come to me and say how you had to shoot someone in self defense, my first question will be "Are you absolutely certain that none of those other 99 things would have worked?"

Glad to hear the prophet specifically mention that nothing in this talk is meant to convey the notion of "peace at any price".  There are some prices too high, and not-peace is a better answer.  I can continue to conceal carry, with the full intent of treating others in ways consistent with the covenants I renew with a weekly sacrament.

But my online self?  Yeah, ok, I have some work to do.

Edited April 18, 2023 by LoudmouthMormon

[Rain]

2 hours ago, bluebell said:

I read an article a couple of months ago that talked about how the social contract in our culture has completely broken down.  More and more people are only about themselves, and worse, they believe that only caring about serving yourself and your needs is superior way to be.  In the past I think that most people recognized the good in caring about others even if they didn't always behave accordingly.

I currently have a neighbor that has been a real jerk to some of the neighborhood kids (including mine).  He's not above swearing at them or telling them that they are going to have a problem if they even accidently cross his property line.  And this is to 8-9 year olds.  Before hearing Pres. Nelson's talk, I would have been over there telling him that it wasn't my 9 year old that he was going to have a problem with, it was me and my husband, if I caught him threatening him again.  After Pres. Nelson's talk, I had to calm myself down and realize that there were better ways to handle the situation and that I needed to have grace for my neighbor and whatever was seriously wrong in his life that would cause him to think responding to kids that way was acceptable. 

Broken record here: this relates to Covey's empathic listening.

2 hours ago, bluebell said:

I talked to my son about never going onto his property for any reason, and then we talked about how he probably needed our sympathy more than our anger (and sure that last part was slightly passive aggressive but I'm trying). 

I loved Pres. Nelson's message.  We are saturated in "revenge for any slight, get yours at all costs, justice for me at whatever price" rhetoric and the basic bonds of society are breaking down because of it.  We need more peacemakers but in order for that to happen we have to actually be peacemakers.  It's not someone else's job to make things better.

 

[pogi]

I think this talk is proof that the prophet lurks at MDDB.

[bluebell]

9 minutes ago, Rain said:

Broken record here: this relates to Covey's empathic listening.

 

Always an important skill!  Definitely something I need to get better at.

[The Nehor]

I had a hard time understanding the point of the talk. I mean, how does being nice and civil destroy your enemies? Then I realized that being nice is a good way to lull them into a false sense of security so you can more easily destroy them later when they least expect it. Took me a while but now I understand.

[rpn]

I think that C. Terry Warner's book "Bonds that make us Free" is helpful to addressing the beam and mote issues.  I recommend it.

[Calm]

1 hour ago, rpn said:

I think that C. Terry Warner's book "Bonds that make us Free" is helpful to addressing the beam and mote issues.  I recommend it.

Love the book

[Navidad]

It is a great talk. My wife and I have listened to it a number of times. I am trying hard to figure out how to make it work in a public school setting, especially at the district level. It is badly needed.

[Kenngo1969]

It's rather easy to get especially het up over political differences.  Certainly, I've done more than my share of that, and I need to repent.  And it's something that I need to pay particular attention to and to work on.  One thing that I think it would help us as Latter-day Saints to spend more than just a little time thinking about is the fact that when we say that God is Sovereign, we're supposed to mean it. 

When we sing (and when we say) that Christ is "Lord of Lord and King of Kings," that's not supposed to mean, simply, that Christ reigns over us (and that He will reign over us) in some abstract, metaphorical sense.  No, no ... of all people, when we use those titles, we need to recognize the fact that we do so literally.  Whatever one's political persuasion, primary occupation, or pet political or social cause, "Every knee will bow and every tongue will confess that Jesus Christ is Lord." 

And He's not simply "Lord over me on the Sabbath" while I do my own will the other six days of the week, and He's not simply "Lord over me in some things" while I do my own will in [most] other things.  We (again, of all people) must recognize that, eventually, He will be Lord over us at all times, and Lord over us in all things.  The trick is that right now, in the imperfect, mortal, fallen world in which we live, "he that hath need of being compelled in all things is a slothful and not a wise servant" (Doctrine and Covenants 58:26).  So a paradigm of, "I'm not going to eat until He tells me what to eat," "I'm not going to go anywhere until He tells me where to go and when to go there," and so on and so forth, potentially ad infinitum, won't work very well.

The key (much, much harder done than said, at least in my experience) is to do one's best to make himself or herself available and receptive to whatever direction one might receive.  In the end, the biggest problem isn't the "fool [insert-opposing-political party]" or the "fool [insert-bad-idea]" or the "fool [insert-social-cause-with-which-I-disagree]," potentially ad infinitum and potentially ad nauseam.  Rather, it is, "Lord, is it I?"  What would the King of Kings and Lord of Lords do in such a situation, especially since one must consider that, in comparison to Him, everyone is a fool!

And He doesn't say, "If ye are not [insert-political-party-here]*, ye are not mine," and He doesn't say "If ye are not a member of [insert-other-organization-here], ye are not mine,"  and He doesn't say, "If ye are not an adherent of [insert-social-cause-here], ye are not mine."  He says, "If ye are not One, ye are not Mine" (Doctrine and Covenants 38:27).  Much has been made over the years of Elder Bruce R. McConkie's Fourteen Fundamentals in Following the Prophet.  Okay, if that gives you heartburn, retitle the address (not to put too fine of a point on it here ...): Fourteen Fundamentals in Following the Savior.

Eventually, we'll have to put everything (no matter how "right" we are and how "wrong" others are, no matter how deeply and dearly held a particular belief) on the altar—politics, social causes, other causes, everything—in order to follow Him.  Perhaps, for the moment, it would be sufficient for us to ask ourselves, "How would my interaction with this person change if the thing about which we disagree so intensely ceased to matter?"

I think it's worth considering.

______________

*As President Dallin H. Oaks said, there is some truth in Liberalism, and some truth in Conservatism, but there is no salvation in any of them.

Edited April 22, 2023 by Kenngo1969