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David Archuleta “Stepping Back” from Church

jkwilliams

By jkwilliams
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Tacenda Grand Master

Tacenda

Posted
Posted (edited)

 

The quote below is from David's mother, Lupe Marie Bartholomew, who recently resigned from the church and posted on FB:

"This is a very sensitive topic and forgive me ahead of time if some of you feel offended by this post, you can choose not to read it but I felt it was time for me to just be honest to my friends and some members of my family on why I chose to give up my membership from The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.

This hasn’t been an easy journey for me, I have cried tears of pain and disappointment for quite some time before I made this decision, either I was all in or all out and here’s the reason why I’m all out. I’ll try my best to keep it short and straight to the point since I’m not good with words anyways but here I go….

Just in October 30th of 2022, I was serving as the Music Coordinador in my Ward and loved my calling so much even though when I was called to it I felt very incompetent. I was starting to get to know many people and my love for them grew as I served and try to get to know each one of them. The people in the Ward are over the top amazing and I felt so honored and so lucky to be around them, they’re humble, loving, accepting, amazing teachers, leaders etc.

Some of my own family members (first generation “Mormons”) have left the church for quiet some time and some where currently leaving the church and that caused me a lot of pain and I couldn’t understand how they could do that??!!

Well, I decided last year I was going to remain faithful no matter who left the church and couldn’t wait to get on my journey of attending the Temple once a week, paying tithing, serving on callings etc and keep doing everything right even if I had to stand alone.

My son David visited my home and stayed with me many times while he did shows in Salt Lake and we had many conversations about where he was at in his life. One day he received a letter at my house and it was sent by a group named “Mama Dragons “ it was a heart attack of beautiful letters from mothers of the LGBTQ community in support of David coming out. It was a beautiful thing for me to share this moment with him because I felt that these where moms whom I could relate with and where walking the same journey for quiet some time and I have just started mine and it’s all new to me. I was surprised to see there where so many of them!!

I invited David to come to Sacrament meeting with me and he came a few times but then he stopped because he said “it hurst too much to be there mom” For some reason I couldn’t understand why he was saying that but then it hit me how the LGBTQ has been really not welcome in this church, “We love you but you’re not welcome to participate of all the blessings because of who you are” some talks have been really hurtful towards them and I didn’t get it then because I was so committed to stay and obey.

I cried many nights at bedtime and my husband is a witness to this because I was feeling so much pain to see my child suffer so much. I sat in church in Sacrament meeting one day and and looked around and then said to myself “God is not here”

How can a loving God be so exclusive? I did not teach my children their whole lives to serve and love a God who is not accepting of them. God is love!

By November 20th, 2022 I wrote a letter to my Bishop and told him I was stepping away from the church.

And by March, 2023 I decided to give up my membership completely after finding out the true story of Joseph Smith and many other things I won’t go on details.

Everything went down the hill for me very quickly and did not want to participate and support anymore these beliefs.

I love honesty and will always respect someone or an organization who is always being honest in their dealings with their fellow men.

I love truth and will stand by truth.

Sadly I’ve seen many cases of family and friends who won’t talk to you anymore because you leave the church, if you’re one of them I will totally understand if you choose to do the same with me I have walked on your shoes before, I know how much pain it causes to hear the news but I’m in a new journey now, I feel it has been an awakening in my life and I’m finally ready to move on.

Love you all"

Edited by Tacenda
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bluebell Grand Master

bluebell

Posted
Posted
57 minutes ago, Tacenda said:

 

The quote below is from David's mother, Lupe Marie Bartholomew, who recently resigned from the church and posted on FB:

"This is a very sensitive topic and forgive me ahead of time if some of you feel offended by this post, you can choose not to read it but I felt it was time for me to just be honest to my friends and some members of my family on why I chose to give up my membership from The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.

This hasn’t been an easy journey for me, I have cried tears of pain and disappointment for quite some time before I made this decision, either I was all in or all out and here’s the reason why I’m all out. I’ll try my best to keep it short and straight to the point since I’m not good with words anyways but here I go….

Just in October 30th of 2022, I was serving as the Music Coordinador in my Ward and loved my calling so much even though when I was called to it I felt very incompetent. I was starting to get to know many people and my love for them grew as I served and try to get to know each one of them. The people in the Ward are over the top amazing and I felt so honored and so lucky to be around them, they’re humble, loving, accepting, amazing teachers, leaders etc.

Some of my own family members (first generation “Mormons”) have left the church for quiet some time and some where currently leaving the church and that caused me a lot of pain and I couldn’t understand how they could do that??!!

Well, I decided last year I was going to remain faithful no matter who left the church and couldn’t wait to get on my journey of attending the Temple once a week, paying tithing, serving on callings etc and keep doing everything right even if I had to stand alone.

My son David visited my home and stayed with me many times while he did shows in Salt Lake and we had many conversations about where he was at in his life. One day he received a letter at my house and it was sent by a group named “Mama Dragons “ it was a heart attack of beautiful letters from mothers of the LGBTQ community in support of David coming out. It was a beautiful thing for me to share this moment with him because I felt that these where moms whom I could relate with and where walking the same journey for quiet some time and I have just started mine and it’s all new to me. I was surprised to see there where so many of them!!

I invited David to come to Sacrament meeting with me and he came a few times but then he stopped because he said “it hurst too much to be there mom” For some reason I couldn’t understand why he was saying that but then it hit me how the LGBTQ has been really not welcome in this church, “We love you but you’re not welcome to participate of all the blessings because of who you are” some talks have been really hurtful towards them and I didn’t get it then because I was so committed to stay and obey.

I cried many nights at bedtime and my husband is a witness to this because I was feeling so much pain to see my child suffer so much. I sat in church in Sacrament meeting one day and and looked around and then said to myself “God is not here”

How can a loving God be so exclusive? I did not teach my children their whole lives to serve and love a God who is not accepting of them. God is love!

By November 20th, 2022 I wrote a letter to my Bishop and told him I was stepping away from the church.

And by March, 2023 I decided to give up my membership completely after finding out the true story of Joseph Smith and many other things I won’t go on details.

Everything went down the hill for me very quickly and did not want to participate and support anymore these beliefs.

I love honesty and will always respect someone or an organization who is always being honest in their dealings with their fellow men.

I love truth and will stand by truth.

Sadly I’ve seen many cases of family and friends who won’t talk to you anymore because you leave the church, if you’re one of them I will totally understand if you choose to do the same with me I have walked on your shoes before, I know how much pain it causes to hear the news but I’m in a new journey now, I feel it has been an awakening in my life and I’m finally ready to move on.

Love you all"

I hope she can find peace now that she has severed that relationship. It sounds like it wasn’t compatible with her new beliefs.

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Tacenda Grand Master

Tacenda

Posted
Posted
4 minutes ago, bluebell said:

I hope she can find peace now that she has severed that relationship. It sounds like it wasn’t compatible with her new beliefs.

What relationship, sorry to be so clueless. I'll read over it again. I guess she's going on the MS's podcast soon.

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bluebell Grand Master

bluebell

Posted
Posted
19 minutes ago, Tacenda said:

I see. I think it's a difficult road she's going down, hopefully she won't lose too many friends.

I hope not too. While I would not stop being friends with her, at the same time I’m sure it’s difficult for some who love the church to hear another say that the church has no love in it.

If someone suddenly decided that my husband was a bad person, but they still wanted to be friends with me, I don’t think I could swing that very easily.  It would be very hard for someone to castigate him without also castigating me in some sense at the same time.  

So, if there are people who struggle with being sincere friends with a person who believes that the church is harmful then I can understand that a little bit. 

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Tacenda Grand Master

Tacenda

Posted
Posted (edited)
2 hours ago, bluebell said:

I hope not too. While I would not stop being friends with her, at the same time I’m sure it’s difficult for some who love the church to hear another say that the church has no love in it.

If someone suddenly decided that my husband was a bad person, but they still wanted to be friends with me, I don’t think I could swing that very easily.  It would be very hard for someone to castigate him without also castigating me in some sense at the same time.  

So, if there are people who struggle with being sincere friends with a person who believes that the church is harmful then I can understand that a little bit. 

Yes, that is going a bit far, because there is love and most members welcome and love our LGBTQ along with the leaders. It's the policies or ? that don't welcome them full stop. Maybe one day, although probably not in my lifetime, they'll be able to be on equal footing in the church. 

I have three former ward members and neighbors with an LGBTQ child. One who served a mission and shortly after came out gay and has rebelled against all of his very strict parents teachings. And the other is now dressed as female and changed their name to a girl's name, had served a mission and attended BYU and now trans. And the third was gay many years ago and suffered some extreme problems when he hit on my oldest son's friend, who they all hung out with. And there are more as well.

It's a thing that will hopefully have a good outcome eventually. But more and more, there are families with someone in the LGBTQ crowd belonging to them. We just need to love each individual, except the lori and chad daybells. ;)

Edited by Tacenda
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Peacefully Veteran

Peacefully

Posted
Posted (edited)

David Archuleta came in 2nd on the Masked Singer tonight. Such a magnificent voice! After being unmasked, he gave an emotional speech.
 

Here it is mentioned in the Salt Lake Tribune:

Archuleta didn’t say that he grew up a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and that he served a mission, but after revealing himself, he told viewers he “grew up very religious” and that he “believed that if I lived ... being queer, I was going to be evil. So I worked really hard to be anything but that. It got to the point where I thought maybe it’s better if I’m not here,” he said, his voice breaking.

He went on to say that he “realized I can’t change this,” and he encouraged any other members of the LGBTQ+ community who grew up “feeling like they were bad just because of who they were attracted to, who they loved, I want you to know that it is worth taking the courage to show your true colors. It’s scary, but you’re worth it. You matter.”
________________

As I watched and listened I was brought to tears. I couldn’t imagine losing such a beautiful young man and I wondered how many other young people in our church think it would be better if they weren’t here. I know there are other churches with as strict or stricter policies regarding gay people, but I hate the fact we are lumped in with the more conservative churches on this issue. It seems like we should be leading the way and making a place for our gay brothers and sisters who choose to follow their hearts. I have no doubt there are so many gay families out there who are stalwart followers of Christ and would enrich our church culture. Ok I’m off the soapbox now. 

Edited by Peacefully
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TheTanakas Collaborator

TheTanakas

Posted
Posted
On 5/10/2023 at 8:49 PM, Tacenda said:

How can a loving God be so exclusive? I did not teach my children their whole lives to serve and love a God who is not accepting of them. God is love!

Will same-sex attraction and same-sex intimate relations occur in the Celestial Kingdom?

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Tacenda Grand Master

Tacenda

Posted
Posted (edited)
9 minutes ago, TheTanakas said:

Will same-sex attraction and same-sex intimate relations occur in the Celestial Kingdom?

Not the top tier because I guess you need to produce spirit children according to LDS belief and that there are three levels in the CK, learned that on the board here.  So maybe the lower tiers, I've no idea, and doubt anyone really knows.

Edited by Tacenda
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carbon dioxide Grand Master

carbon dioxide

Posted
Posted
On 5/10/2023 at 5:49 PM, Tacenda said:

How can a loving God be so exclusive? I did not teach my children their whole lives to serve and love a God who is not accepting of them. God is love!

God loves everyone but that does not mean God accepts all of our decisions.   God is exclusive.  When Christ speaks of separating the sheep from the goats, that is an action that is exclusive.  Why did not God accept the goats?  Perhaps because he can't.   Even with God, love has its limits.

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Tacenda Grand Master

Tacenda

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, carbon dioxide said:

God loves everyone but that does not mean God accepts all of our decisions.   God is exclusive.  When Christ speaks of separating the sheep from the goats, that is an action that is exclusive.  Why did not God accept the goats?  Perhaps because he can't.   Even with God, love has its limits.

Just wanted to mention in case some think it came from me, the quote below is from David's mother.
"How can a loving God be so exclusive? I did not teach my children their whole lives to serve and love a God who is not accepting of them. God is love!"

 

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Calm Grand Master

Calm

Posted
Posted (edited)
4 hours ago, carbon dioxide said:

God loves everyone but that does not mean God accepts all of our decisions.   God is exclusive.  When Christ speaks of separating the sheep from the goats, that is an action that is exclusive.  Why did not God accept the goats?  Perhaps because he can't.   Even with God, love has its limits.

Quote

As he met with Cornelius, Peter understood his dream. What did it mean? (See Acts 10:28, 34–35. The gospel was for all people, not just the Jews. Explain that “God is no respecter of persons” means that God will provide every person with the opportunity to receive the blessings available through the plan of salvation.

Can’t get more inclusive than that. 
 

https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/manual/new-testament-gospel-doctrine-teachers-manual/lesson-30-god-is-no-respecter-of-persons?

We have to choose to reject God’s blessings which he offers to all who desire them. 
 

The limits of love is at our end, not his. 
 

Even in the scriptures that speak of separating goats from sheep, it is how we treat our fellow men that leads us to make ourselves into goats rather than sheep. Again the limits of love is not on God’s end, but ours:

Quote

35 For I was an hungered, and ye gave me meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me drink: I was a stranger, and ye took me in:

36 Naked, and ye clothed me: I was sick, and ye visited me: I was in prison, and ye came unto me.

37 Then shall the righteous answer him, saying, Lord, when saw we thee an hungred, and fed thee? or thirsty, and gave thee drink?

38 When saw we thee a stranger, and took thee in? or naked, and clothed thee?

39 Or when saw we thee sick, or in prison, and came unto thee?

40 And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me.

 

Edited by Calm
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Rain Grand Master

Rain

Posted
Posted
On 5/18/2023 at 2:20 PM, TheTanakas said:

Will same-sex attraction and same-sex intimate relations occur in the Celestial Kingdom?

I think most members would tell you "no", but I'm not actually sure we even know if opposite-sex attraction and intimacy will be there. We talk about being there as couples and families, but we don't teach anything about sexual attraction and intimacy there.

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Hamilton Porter Mentor

Hamilton Porter

Posted
Posted
11 hours ago, Rain said:

I think most members would tell you "no", but I'm not actually sure we even know if opposite-sex attraction and intimacy will be there. We talk about being there as couples and families, but we don't teach anything about sexual attraction and intimacy there.

Huh?

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