The Great Board Shutdown - How did you cope?

[ALarson]

5 hours ago, flameburns623 said:

Unless they decide to hold my screen name hostage against my will, I'm done over there.

Very nasty people they are. 

Are you talking about NOM or another board?

I just went over to NOM and found your introduction thread and thought members were very welcoming to you for the most part (other than the first post after your initial one thinking you may be a troll).  Most said "Welcome!" and to search out whatever makes you happy in your life (if you choose to return to the church).  (Maybe I missed something on another thread?)

But, if you're speaking of another board, I haven't read any on those recently.

.

Edited May 13, 2016 by ALarson

[flameburns623]

13 minutes ago, ALarson said:

Are you talking about NOM or another board?

I just went over to NOM and read through your introduction thread and thought members were very welcoming to you for the most part (other than the first post after you initial one).  Most said "Welcome!" and search out whatever makes you happy in your life (if you choose to return to the church).  

But, if you're speaking of another board, I haven't read any on those recently.

I'm talking about NOM. 

The first "welcome" came from someone who called me a troll. I should've taken the hint and just asked to be deleted at that.

A handful of folks followed, giving half-hearted best wishes, one of them all but rendering condolences at the idea of me contemplating a return to the LDS Church. 

About three or four posts later, some of the regulars began derailing the thread into vulgar topics.

When I hit "report", I was told that I don't get to "choose" what others post. Apparently, there is no rule about staying on topic within a thread.

So now I'm trying to get them to expunge my account. The mods were all privately PM'd. One of them responded that he "can't do that" which brings in question his purpose in life as a moderator. Eapecially since I was able to manually delete my own handful of posts with no trouble whatsoever.

Half of the other mods have apparently received my request and ignored it.

When I publicly posted my request, some of the regulars began taunting me.

I've worked all night and have to grab some sleep before driving south to see my Mom. After I've checked on her in the nursing facility, if they haven't shut my account down, I'll start fighting fire with napalm.

There will be dark utterances about my character that will include stronger language than "troll", but they will ban be for life. If not for multiple lifetimes.

It wasn't this much trouble to resign from the LDS Church.

But, enough. I made a mistake signing on. Next time I will lurk longer before I sign up. 

[ALarson]

5 minutes ago, flameburns623 said:

I'm talking about NOM. 

The first "welcome" came from someone who called me a troll. I should've taken the hint and just asked to be deleted at that.

A handful of folks followed, giving half-hearted best wishes, one of them all but rendering condolences at the idea of me contemplating a return to the LDS Church. 

About three or four posts later, some of the regulars began derailing the thread into vulgar topics.

When I hit "report", I was told that I don't get to "choose" what others post. Apparently, there is no rule about staying on topic within a thread.

So now I'm trying to get them to expunge my account. The mods were all privately PM'd. One of them responded that he "can't do that" which brings in question his purpose in life as a moderator. Eapecially since I was able to manually delete my own handful of posts with no trouble whatsoever.

Half of the other mods have apparently received my request and ignored it.

When I publicly posted my request, some of the regulars began taunting me.

I've worked all night and have to grab some sleep before driving south to see my Mom. After I've checked on her in the nursing facility, if they haven't shut my account down, I'll start fighting fire with napalm.

There will be dark utterances about my character that will include stronger language than "troll", but they will ban be for life. If not for multiple lifetimes.

It wasn't this much trouble to resign from the LDS Church.

But, enough. I made a mistake signing on. Next time I will lurk longer before I sign up. 

Well, I read through it and thought almost all posters were very cordial, understanding and wished you well.  I saw nothing vulgar at all (?).  But if that's how you feel, don't post there of course.  Sorry for your experience.  I'm not over on that board often but I've found some really wonderful people post there.  It's definitely not for everyone though  

[jkwilliams]

12 minutes ago, ALarson said:

Well, I read through it and thought almost all posters were very cordial, understanding and wished you well.  I saw nothing vulgar at all (?).  But if that's how you feel, don't post there of course.  Sorry for your experience.  I'm not over on that board often but I've found some really wonderful people post there.  It's definitely not for everyone though  

That was my impression as well, but as you say, it's best not to post where one doesn't feel welcome.

[Avatar4321]

I freaked out so bad I had to drive cross country to see my parents.

 

the fact that I had the trip planned already is totally irrelevant

[flameburns623]

I got my hackles up a tad when the first guy to greet me called me a "troll".

Took it in stride, gave him a cheery greeting anyhow, and moved along.

I had taken impression from salgare, and from a much-too-cursory reading of the guidelines, that NOM was a support site for LDS with nuanced understandings of certain aspects.

My mistake.

I really should've read through some of the threads. 

The next three or four folks to greet me disabused me. They were quite nice, but nearly all of them regretful that I would consider rejoining the Mormons.

My mental dimmer switch slowly started illuminating me to the idea that NOM is an ex-Mormon/anti-Mormon site. Oh, flapjacks! just where I didn't want to be, these days.

There were some good moments. I will concede as much.

I discovered Consiglieri over there, and he speaks in whole sentences there, instead of in cynical, cryptic aphorisms as is his custom here.

I spoke at some length with a Community of Christ fellow about the conservatives from the old RLDS.

I was also getting PM's advising me to check out some guy named Denver Snudler (?), who is variously given accolades on Amazon as the LDS Einstein, but somtimes also derided as thoroughly a loon.

Odd.

Don't quite know what I would find interesting about such a fellow.

So then another person I thought I recognized happened along. Couldn't place from whence I'd met him--I was thinking Catholic Answers, but apparently he was from here.

"Was" being the operative word. Reportedly, he's been banned. He had advice for me: don't talk about this, don't discuss that, and whatever you do, don't use graphic language when talking about the Law of Chastity.

To which I jokingly responded that it's a good practice, in public conversation, to altogether avoid conversations about the intimate parts of the human anatomy betwixt the navel and the knee.

And everything went south from there. Posters started piling on, "Oh the Church won't let you not talk about that, here, here! go read about this poor guy and all the heck he's having with his bishop, here's a link about it, here's two or three more" . . . .

And I said to myself, "Aw jeez: Jeremy Runnells redux. With a purity problem instead of a hearing problem. What is he gonna drag to HIS bishop's court, and do I ever want to know?"

So I went to the NOM mods asking them if they would stop folks from derailing my Introduction thread? After all, in what universe does one person say to another, "Hi! We just met! We're strangers, using pseudonyms: why don't we talk about some other stranger's SEX problems?"

When the one mod who responded couldn't see the preposterousness of the direction the thread had taken, I realized I was persona non grata and needed to just go.

I put more emotional energy into the whole Runnells fiasco than it deserved. Energy which I really need to conserve to cope with my Mom's failing health. Into new duties at work. And into the spiritual pilgrimage I am embarked on.

None of which I was going to go into great detail about on a board I had been on for just under a week. Especially given the lukewarm reception I received, and the dissonance between what I had thought NOM was and what it realy is.

You've had a better experience there, ALarson. Probably went in with different expectations. No need to spark a board war: I made a mistake. I'm deleted now, I think, and I will move on along to other stuff. Such is life!

[JulieM]

2 hours ago, flameburns623 said:

I'm talking about NOM. 

The first "welcome" came from someone who called me a troll. I should've taken the hint and just asked to be deleted at that.

A handful of folks followed, giving half-hearted best wishes, one of them all but rendering condolences at the idea of me contemplating a return to the LDS Church. 

About three or four posts later, some of the regulars began derailing the thread into vulgar topics.

When I hit "report", I was told that I don't get to "choose" what others post. Apparently, there is no rule about staying on topic within a thread.

So now I'm trying to get them to expunge my account. The mods were all privately PM'd. One of them responded that he "can't do that" which brings in question his purpose in life as a moderator. Eapecially since I was able to manually delete my own handful of posts with no trouble whatsoever.

Half of the other mods have apparently received my request and ignored it.

When I publicly posted my request, some of the regulars began taunting me.

I've worked all night and have to grab some sleep before driving south to see my Mom. After I've checked on her in the nursing facility, if they haven't shut my account down, I'll start fighting fire with napalm.

There will be dark utterances about my character that will include stronger language than "troll", but they will ban be for life. If not for multiple lifetimes.

It wasn't this much trouble to resign from the LDS Church.

But, enough. I made a mistake signing on. Next time I will lurk longer before I sign up. 

Yikes.  I had to go over and read your intro thread to see what could have possibly brought on this strong reaction.  

I saw nothing to get this upset over.  I think people were very open and nice to you and welcomed you.  Your reaction is actuality way over the top.  You didn't even give them a chance there from what I see.  

But, stay away if it upset you so much.  Just go where you fell comfortable.

And why do you really care if they ban you or "expunge your account"?  Looks like you deleted most of your posts.  You'll fade quickly into oblivion, I'm sure  

[ALarson]

19 minutes ago, flameburns623 said:

My mental dimmer switch slowly started illuminating me to the idea that NOM is an ex-Mormon/anti-Mormon site.

No, that's not accurate from what I've seen over there.  As I stated before , I'm not over there often, but most posters are members of the church in good standing who are still attending church (mainly for family reasons) who no longer believe.  Most are just searching and looking for more information or truth and some are really struggling to hold onto their testimonies.  Read the board rules and description of the board as it's pretty accurate, IMO.

 

19 minutes ago, flameburns623 said:

You've had a better experience there, ALarson. Probably went in with different expectations. No need to spark a board war: I made a mistake. I'm deleted now, I think, and I will move on along to other stuff. Such is life!

Well, I like a lot of the members over there and have had some good communication with them (mainly emails and PMs).  But if it's not for you, it's not for you!  I hope they'll do as you asked and just delete your account.  But if not, I wouldn't worry too much about it (pretty please don't bring out the napalm )

.

Edited May 13, 2016 by ALarson

[Scott Lloyd]

59 minutes ago, flameburns623 said:

I got my hackles up a tad when the first guy to greet me called me a "troll".

Took it in stride, gave him a cheery greeting anyhow, and moved along.

I had taken impression from salgare, and from a much-too-cursory reading of the guidelines, that NOM was a support site for LDS with nuanced understandings of certain aspects.

My mistake.

I really should've read through some of the threads. 

The next three or four folks to greet me disabused me. They were quite nice, but nearly all of them regretful that I would consider rejoining the Mormons.

My mental dimmer switch slowly started illuminating me to the idea that NOM is an ex-Mormon/anti-Mormon site. Oh, flapjacks! just where I didn't want to be, these days.

There were some good moments. I will concede as much.

I discovered Consiglieri over there, and he speaks in whole sentences there, instead of in cynical, cryptic aphorisms as is his custom here.

I spoke at some length with a Community of Christ fellow about the conservatives from the old RLDS.

I was also getting PM's advising me to check out some guy named Denver Snudler (?), who is variously given accolades on Amazon as the LDS Einstein, but somtimes also derided as thoroughly a loon.

Odd.

Don't quite know what I would find interesting about such a fellow.

So then another person I thought I recognized happened along. Couldn't place from whence I'd met him--I was thinking Catholic Answers, but apparently he was from here.

"Was" being the operative word. Reportedly, he's been banned. He had advice for me: don't talk about this, don't discuss that, and whatever you do, don't use graphic language when talking about the Law of Chastity.

To which I jokingly responded that it's a good practice, in public conversation, to altogether avoid conversations about the intimate parts of the human anatomy betwixt the navel and the knee.

And everything went south from there. Posters started piling on, "Oh the Church won't let you not talk about that, here, here! go read about this poor guy and all the heck he's having with his bishop, here's a link about it, here's two or three more" . . . .

And I said to myself, "Aw jeez: Jeremy Runnells redux. With a purity problem instead of a hearing problem. What is he gonna drag to HIS bishop's court, and do I ever want to know?"

So I went to the NOM mods asking them if they would stop folks from derailing my Introduction thread? After all, in what universe does one person say to another, "Hi! We just met! We're strangers, using pseudonyms: why don't we talk about some other stranger's SEX problems?"

When the one mod who responded couldn't see the preposterousness of the direction the thread had taken, I realized I was persona non grata and needed to just go.

I put more emotional energy into the whole Runnells fiasco than it deserved. Energy which I really need to conserve to cope with my Mom's failing health. Into new duties at work. And into the spiritual pilgrimage I am embarked on.

None of which I was going to go into great detail about on a board I had been on for just under a week. Especially given the lukewarm reception I received, and the dissonance between what I had thought NOM was and what it realy is.

You've had a better experience there, ALarson. Probably went in with different expectations. No need to spark a board war: I made a mistake. I'm deleted now, I think, and I will move on along to other stuff. Such is life!

Sounds like standard behavior for progmos.

Which is what that board is, a haven for progmos.

Denver Snuffer is a recently excommunicated apostate. It's not surprising he would be the darling of that crowd.

Incidentally, you are welcome here, as far as I'm concerned. I have generally enjoyed your posts though we haven't always agreed.

 

Edited May 13, 2016 by Scott Lloyd

[jkwilliams]

56 minutes ago, ALarson said:

No, that's not accurate from what I've seen over there.  As I stated before , I'm not over there often, but most posters are members of the church in good standing who are still attending church (mainly for family reasons) who no longer believe.  Most are just searching and looking for more information or truth and some are really struggling to hold onto their testimonies.  Read the board rules and description of the board as it's pretty accurate, IMO.

Well, I like a lot of the members over there and have had some good communication with them (mainly emails and PMs).  But if it's not for you, it's not for you!  I hope they'll do as you asked and just delete your account.  But if not, I wouldn't worry too much about it (pretty please don't bring out the napalm )

I haven't posted on that board in a very long time. There's a wide variety of people there from hardened apostates like me to Mormon non-literalists to people who think the church has become too liberal and strayed from its conservative foundations (that would be the folks who like Denver Snuffer, though I have never quite understood his appeal). I have a lot of good friends over there, and what I saw on the thread referred to wasn't particularly nasty at all. Yes, the first person to respond thought flameburns was a troll, but I didn't see anyone being profane or rude. Of course, maybe my conscience has been seared such that I don't recognize such things anymore. 

But yeah, the lesson is, Don't post somewhere you don't feel comfortable. Oh, wait. 

[UtahTexan]

I thought I had been suspended....which, after getting banned from a thread was not surprising   

[Storm Rider]

10 hours ago, flameburns623 said:

I got my hackles up a tad when the first guy to greet me called me a "troll".....

You've had a better experience there, ALarson. Probably went in with different expectations. No need to spark a board war: I made a mistake. I'm deleted now, I think, and I will move on along to other stuff. Such is life!

Looks like you have taken it in stride and have come out of it no worse for the wear.  It is odd that your experience has been deemed rather unbelievable by those that have reviewed your thread.  Strange how your "feelings" (that lovely buzz word that means serious hand wringing is necessary if you are enlightened) are easily dismissed.  Very telling and very consistent with the same crowd of like-minded individuals.  

I have studied most world religions in some depth.  Within Christianity I remain very partial to the Catholic Church and the Eastern Orthodox, but I simply could never get used to high-church liturgy.  I still read a great deal of Catholic theologians and historians and find a lot of things that help in strengthening my relationship with God....and I still thresh as I read.

I respect the your path that you have walked.  Being an individual faith is not easy; being humble is even harder.  You possess some unique gifts.  Hope things continue to work out for you.  I expect you have learned to take nothing personal, watch where and with whom you are willing to share your time, and that holiness is a grace that is bestowed upon us as we remain open to Him. 

[canard78]

21 hours ago, Scott Lloyd said:

Sounds like standard behavior for progmos.

Which is what that board is, a haven for progmos.

Denver Snuffer is a recently excommunicated apostate. It's not surprising he would be the darling of that crowd.

Incidentally, you are welcome here, as far as I'm concerned. I have generally enjoyed your posts though we haven't always agreed.

 

I'd suggest doing your own research if you want a point of view on the group.

I'd be very surprised if the NOMers are Snuffer fans... They're at opposite ends of the spectrum. 

Snuffer seems to advocate a more fundamentalist/old school mormonsism. NOMs generally believe a lot less than Snuffer. 

Anyway, I'd imagine their tone and attitudes will probably not be your cup of (peppermint) tea, but deposits that, I don't think flame's representing the group very reasonably. 

[flameburns623]

5 hours ago, canard78 said:

I'd suggest doing your own research if you want a point of view on the group.

I'd be very surprised if the NOMers are Snuffer fans... They're at opposite ends of the spectrum. 

Snuffer seems to advocate a more fundamentalist/old school mormonsism. NOMs generally believe a lot less than Snuffer. 

Anyway, I'd imagine their tone and attitudes will probably not be your cup of (peppermint) tea, but deposits that, I don't think flame's representing the group very reasonably. 

I have had a bit of opportunity to look over the site and what it offers a bit more. The site is a community of mostly disaffected social Mormons and LDS who have passed thru a faith crisis. The majority of people there see themselves as social Mormons/cultural LDS, bound to the Church more via family ties or similar bonds than by faith.

Nevertheless the rules do not allow gratuitous disrespect of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, and in fact tries to provide a safe haven for people however they wish to have a part thereof. You might, Scott Lloyd, elect to lurk w/o joining to form your own impressions thereof.

I note I have become rather something of a by-word over there for the excessively dramatic departure I initiated. And not always fairly characterized, since they see that I am self-banned and unlikely to return to defend myself. 

NOM was one of three LDS message boards I joined an hour or so after this one went so abruptly dowm.

I joined in a hurry. My impression of the place was profoundly jaundiced when the very first person to greet me upon my first post called me a troll.

Just as much by the several who followed saying things such as,"I hate to hear of people looking to return" and "We here are mostly looking to get out". Although nearly all followed such comments up with kind words of support for me, should I follow through with my decision to return to the LDS Church.

Which is NOT a foregone conclusion, though an increasing likelihood. 

I would like the opportunity to apologize to any over there who were hurt by any injudicious words or abrupt manner on my part. If you,  canard78; or if jkwilliams might be willing to extend such to the board it would be greatly appreciated. Feel free to copy/paste this post if the board rules so permit. 

By way of explanation and not of excuse, the slow and tortuous passing of my Mom, and the need to make repeated trips down south to see her are taking a dramatic emotional toll on me.

This present trip was already in the works and the strain was not something to look forward to, howeversoever much I want to cherish these last few weeks or months with her. She can only tolerate visits of perhaps a half an hour or so, which make the trips feel almost not worth the time; but I try to make several short visits spaced through the two or so days I can come down. 

Beyond this, my employer has imposed some staffing cuts without adjustment of the job expectations, obliging many of us to do as much of the work of several people as we are able to manage.

The evening and night of the whole event, I was on an extended shift, locked down within the confines of four walls while my regular tasks and duties had to be left undone. I had nothing to do but stew over my phone, while things which I feel needed just as much attention had to be neglected.

The frustration of the situation likely got projected onto the NOM board, particularly in my private interaction with the mod.

I have just spent a couple of hours in a glade at a local landmark called Spout Springs. It is, literally, a natural spring, originally of potable water, although it is no longer recommended for consumption unless filtered.

My family and I have spent many hours here when I was growing, picnicking and/or barbecuing and wading in the lower end of the natural standing-pools. The upper end being reserved as a reservoir for those who wanted to collect drinking water, in olden times when this was safely done.

Two miles east of where I was, a deceased uncle and aunt once farmed. Some miles south was my own former family homestead, where I spent my teenage years. West of me is the small town where Mom is in a nursing and hospice care facility.

Beyond that in the same town, the places where my deceased grandparents, maternal and paternal, had their homes. 

I have, during visits home over the years, gone often to Spout Springs with Scriptures in hand, to reflect and to decompress.

In being there, I really felt that I needed to make some ammends. If you, Canard78, or jkwilliams, would not deem this an imposition, it would be appreciated.

Edited May 14, 2016 by flameburns623
Typos

[JLHPROF]

5 hours ago, canard78 said:

I'd be very surprised if the NOMers are Snuffer fans... They're at opposite ends of the spectrum.

Snuffer seems to advocate a more fundamentalist/old school mormonsism. NOMs generally believe a lot less than Snuffer.

I am no Snuffer expert (wouldn't touch his stuff), but my understanding is he has a very anti-authoritarian approach to things.
A "no man between me and God" approach to priesthood, ordinances, and the supernatural.

I think he comes at the order and rules of the Church in a very similar way to the NOM community, even if they start at opposite ends.

[saemo]

On May 13, 2016 at 8:25 AM, flameburns623 said:

I'm talking about NOM. 

The first "welcome" came from someone who called me a troll. I should've taken the hint and just asked to be deleted at that.

A handful of folks followed, giving half-hearted best wishes, one of them all but rendering condolences at the idea of me contemplating a return to the LDS Church. 

About three or four posts later, some of the regulars began derailing the thread into vulgar topics.

When I hit "report", I was told that I don't get to "choose" what others post. Apparently, there is no rule about staying on topic within a thread.

So now I'm trying to get them to expunge my account. The mods were all privately PM'd. One of them responded that he "can't do that" which brings in question his purpose in life as a moderator. Eapecially since I was able to manually delete my own handful of posts with no trouble whatsoever.

Half of the other mods have apparently received my request and ignored it.

When I publicly posted my request, some of the regulars began taunting me.

I've worked all night and have to grab some sleep before driving south to see my Mom. After I've checked on her in the nursing facility, if they haven't shut my account down, I'll start fighting fire with napalm.

There will be dark utterances about my character that will include stronger language than "troll", but they will ban be for life. If not for multiple lifetimes.

It wasn't this much trouble to resign from the LDS Church.

But, enough. I made a mistake signing on. Next time I will lurk longer before I sign up. 

Having participated in anti-Mormon forums, some 10 years ago, there was the suspicion that new people who showed up and posted at their first post, "hi, I'm returning to the Mormon Church" were either a) an exMormon  joking around or b) a TBM who was there to fellowship all exMormons to return ASAP.

I agree with you, that this reaction is a sign that you are at an anti-Mormon forum. 

Edited May 15, 2016 by saemo

[Scott Lloyd]

On May 14, 2016 at 2:19 PM, JLHPROF said:

I am no Snuffer expert (wouldn't touch his stuff), but my understanding is he has a very anti-authoritarian approach to things.
A "no man between me and God" approach to priesthood, ordinances, and the supernatural.

I think he comes at the order and rules of the Church in a very similar way to the NOM community, even if they start at opposite ends.

That's pretty much how I see it: Vilify (or engage in some degree of faultfinding of) the Church leaders and try to reshape the Church to fit your own preferences. Snuffer, Waterman and the progmos have this in common. 

Edited May 16, 2016 by Scott Lloyd

[sunstoned]

I see NOM as an open, accepting forum that will engage any conversion topic on a level playing field.  For some, the idea of a discussion on a level, unmoderated playing field is very scary.

[Nemesis]

 

On May 16, 2016 at 9:33 PM, sunstoned said:

I see NOM as an open, accepting forum that will engage any conversion topic on a level playing field.  For some, the idea of a discussion on a level, unmoderated playing field is very scary.

 

[canard78]

4 hours ago, Nemesis said:

 

 

Are you talking about Mormons?

Nice to have you join the discussion Nehor. 

[Guest]

On May 8, 2016 at 2:01 PM, The Nehor said:

Based on the post dates here I was not the only one who could not access the board for a few days?

How did you cope with the shakes? Any severe withdrawal symptoms? Are you okay now? I ended up on top of a skyscraper in my underwear holding a gecko and a box of cheap chocolates with no recollection of how I got there but I think I am better now. Share your pain here.

I coped by being on an Alaska cruise. 

[The Nehor]

13 hours ago, canard78 said:

Are you talking about Mormons?

Nice to have you join the discussion Nehor. 

That was Nemesis, not me. Unless you think I am Nemesis......

[canard78]

7 hours ago, The Nehor said:

That was Nemesis, not me. Unless you think I am Nemesis......

Maybe you're cousins

[canard78]

Has anyone noticed that the maximum file attachment size is 4.81MB?

That's a wonderfully specific limit.

[Tacenda]

On 5/17/2016 at 6:31 AM, Pa Pa said:

I coped by being on an Alaska cruise. 

What did you think about the cruise?