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Why Do I Have These... "abilities"? Spiritual Gift?


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Hello. I hope I am posting in the correct category... You see I joined this forum because I have a very specific issue that I feel conflicted about, and I wanted to get some objective opinions from some other LDS folk anonymously because of the nature of the issue. I hope that I am amongst friends here, and I hope that when I tell you what my issue is, you will take it as a serious inquiry and not mock me or become hostile towards me.

 

But in order to share with you my issue I must give you a bit of a background...

 

I have always been a very inquisitive person. Even as a child, I would wonder where I came from and why I exist. And at this point, I should tell you, I had never been a religious person and in fact I did not even believe in God as anything more than a comforting fairy tale for some, and a justification for abusing and manipulating (to control others) for the rest.

 

As I became older, the need to find an answer to the question of why I exist became unbearable and I found myself somewhat obsessed with finding the answer, in particular through the study of math and science. (Really really in particular, through the study of vortex mathematics, holographic information storage/redundant arrays, and the visual cortex, neonatal neurological development and neurology in general as it relates to discovering the origin of consciousness).

 

Then one day as I was pondering all I had learned over a long period of time and study, the pieces of the puzzle of the universe and all that is somehow clicked into place, and I understood it ALL for a brief flash of infinite clarity... and inso doing it happened... a bolt of lightening hit my brain in the form of a pupil-dialating, world-rocking, mind-blowing, flashback-inducing realization... epiphany... revelation... no, a rememberance... of something I knew long ago and had forgotten, something that had been buried deeper than deep in my memories... I remembered God.

 

I saw all that is, was, and ever would be in that instant, and the answers to all the questions in the world about why we exist and why we are here and who we are and where we come from and and where we are going... and even answers to questions that I didn't even know to ask like what is real, what is not real, what is love, what is fear, what is light, what is dark, and so on. And the beauty of it was that it made total and complete sense, and was utterly flawless and unerring and perfect and beautiful and I thought, "Of course! Of course this is what is going on! Of course it couldn't be anything else! How could I have forgotten?!". Because i had known it before, you see. I have apparently had amnesia my entire life and how could I have forgotten? And then my thoughts in that instant turned to God, and how much I love God, how I completely and totally and all encompassingly LOVE God, and how God is so infinitely, unspeakably, heart-breakingly... GOOD, and I KNEW this... Heavenly Father loves me so utterly, so unconditionally, so intensely, so boundlessly, so PERFECTLY that if He were to lift the veil completely and show Himself in His full Glory to me in the flesh, then first my body and then the entire Universe would shatter from PURE BLISS into dust.

 

And then, all at once, it was gone. Once that instant passed, all the knowledge passed with it and I could not remember anything except that I had the experience. I only knew that God is real, and I love Him utterly. So I prayed, and I told God, "I know you are there, you cannot hide from me any longer, and so what should I do? I suppose I should be baptised somewhere. I love you forever".

 

So, I had it in my head that I was going to be baptised, but I hadnt made any plans about it yet. That night, I was in the garage thinking about things, because the garage was the quietest place in the house, in fact it is the closest I have ever gotten to absolute silence. But the thing about absolute silence, is that it isn't very silent, is it? There is a din in silence, like the sounds of all the oceans and all the winds of the Earth ceaselessly blowing and flowing and waving and crashing in an endless whisper as subtle as an odor barely there or a color in a darkened room... maybe it is the sound of the earth turning or the sound of one's own spirit vibrating... who knows?

 

But this time, in the din of silence, there was a whisper... words began to form, ever so subtly, almost like the din itself was whispering, but it was there nonethless very definitely and I heard the words, "I am..." followed by a full name. A person's name, in fact the name of my grandfather who had passed. "Grandpa?" I thought to myself and in answer to my thought came another whisper, "Yes," the voice ever so softly responded. And after listening to the voice say what it came to say and whispering a gentle goodbye in the din of silence, another voice came. "I am..." followed by the name of my great grandmother who had passed. I listened to that voice for a few minutes and listened to it say goodbye as well. After several relatives had come and gone on the waves of silence, I decided it was time to go to sleep. At best this is a unique once in a lifetime spiritual experience to give me comfort, and at worst it was a deceitful spirit tormenting me and/or I was insane. Whichever one it was, I would still need to get some sleep that night.

 

As I lay in bed, another "voice" came to me, only instead of being sound, this was in the form of a vibration, a pulse I could feel in my forehead, and somehow this vibration was giving me information in the form of words. This was unfortunately not a pleasant experience. Whatever it was, caused abject terror without saying a word. It was although it had injected fear into my veins, because although there was no immediate threat to myself as far as I could perceive and so intellectually I could not convince myself of a reason to be afraid... my body did not have the same opinion as my logical mind and was trembling uncontrollably from some type of physically present fear. Once it "spoke" though, it did seem to wish to torment me, as it told me that some terrible things would happen in the not too distant future, and in general wished to influence me to take actions in my life, such as moving from my home to another city, and other such fear-mongering manipulative nonsense. I prayed to God for protection and to tell me what I should do next. I knew I had to be baptised as soon as possible. Instantly, a heat ignited in my heart, not only a heat but also a feeling of comfort, love, and peace... this feeling spread from my heart out through my entire body and to my extremities and when it did, all fear was driven from my body and the voice was gone and I was so happy and peaceful and comfortable and warm that I fell right to sleep.

 

In retrospect, I think once one is able to perceive things of a spiritual nature, one is able to perceive both the good and bad of that nature previously hidden to them.

 

The next day I set out to find someone to baptize me, so I looked on the internet for a Catholic Church website to inquire about it and perhaps to order a rosary or something for protection because, I had no clue what to do, and I didn't really know what denomination to follow so I arbitrarily chose a well-known one. As I was browsing the website, there was knock on the door, and when I looked out of the peep hole, I saw what I knew were two Mormon missionaries. I gasped... I gasped because I had been directly answered by God in a real, practical, actually-happening-in-reality way and I was dumbstruck. This is who will baptise me, I thought. I smiled and opened the door, and greeted them. (They later told me that they weren't even going to stop at my door. They were going to stop at the home just south of mine for the day, but became caught up in conversation with one another and became distracted, and continued on to my home inadvertently.)

 

I was baptised soon thereafter, and I won't list every one of the many, many amazing coincidences and synchronicities that happened during the whole process, but I will say that once I was baptised, I knew things that I shouldn't have. For example, a missionary approached me, and without any foreknowledge of what he was going to say, I knew immediately that two of the other missionaries in the church needed me to take their bikes to another location for them so they could make it home in time for curfew. Before the missionary asked, as he approached me I was smiling and said "Yes! I can, I can put the bikes in the back of my truck!" and he smiled and said "Wow the spirit really is talking to you!"

 

I was never bothered by the bad spirit again, however I had come to find out that I had not lost the ability to hear the whispers of the souls of those who have passed on. A strange ability, that I never wanted, yet I have it even to this day.

 

So on the night of my baptism, I confessed to two women who were the last ones lingering at the baptismal party one of them had thrown for me, about my experience and my ability. They asked me many questions about it, and seemed satisfied with the legitimacy of my claims, as I did not seem to be insane, and in fact seemed to be a perfectly normal person except for that. So, one of them approached me the next Sunday, for the sake of conversation we will call her Mandi, and said she wanted to "pick my brain" about a woman who she was close to that had died fairly recently. That night on the telephone she asked questions and I told her the answers I got, and she was impressed, noting that I was using terms and mannerisms that the woman who had died would often use. Apparently she had told the other woman, we will call her Berri, about the telephone conversation and Berri was interested in knowing more.

 

Keep in mind these are all involved and devoted active members of the LDS church... Anyway Mandi and Berri planned a get together at Mandi's house where Mandi, Berri, Berri's twin sister Bisty, and Berri's mother would all sit around and "pick my brain" about people they knew who had passed on. So I went over there and we ate lunch, and afterwards, we all sat in the living room and Berri led us all in a prayer. Once the prayer was said, they asked me about several people who had died. I basically acted as a relay between them and the people who had passed on. I remember one man in particular who Berri's mother had as a boyfriend when she was very young, and the first thing he wanted to say was "I'm sorry I was a jerk". When I relayed this message, Berri's mother began to cry, and laughed at the same time saying "You were a jerk!".

 

Without telling the entire experience here, suffice it to say that they asked me many questions and I relayed many answers, all of which were completely accurate. They were very pleased with the session, and even moreso, they were very pleased with the experience they had and were convinced that I have a spiritual gift from God.

 

The Bishop heard about what happened, and called me in to a meeting with him at his office in the church building at 10 o'clock at night on a Wednesday. I was very worried that I would be kicked out of church because of what I could do, only because I had come to love the church and every one in it very dearly and dreaded losing it. My bishop asked me many questions and I answered them, and he asked the Sisters who had been with me many questions. I told him that if it was not from God, that I didn't want it, and I want him to help me get rid of it. In the end my Bishop would not say that it was for sure a spiritual gift from God... but he would also not say that it was not a spiritual gift from God. By the end of the meeting, he gave me a blessing of the discernment of spirits and told me not to use my ability too often and warned me about keeping one foot in another reality. I agreed with him and that was that.

 

I had a patriarchal blessing where I was told to "use my spiritual gift as I am prompted", as anyone should do with any spiritual gift I suppose.

 

You might have noticed in the topic I said "abilities"... well there are other things I seem to be able to do that I don't really have time to get into right now, but I might be able to explain it later in reply to some responses.

 

But my issue is this...

 

Where do I fit in, spiritually? What does it mean to have this "gift"? Am I doing the work of the adversary by utilizing this ability? Or does God wish me to use it to comfort those who have lost loved ones, or to bolster and renew their faith in God? Or am I to have this ability for no purpose?? It is something that is really conflicting me because the Book of Mormon says to seek to God for knowledge of loved ones who have passed on and spiritual things such as that, but I am not God, of course, so am I supposed to keep this ability to myself? Am I supposed to become some kind of new age fru-fru la-la and go around "giving readings" to people? Some people seem to think so but it doesn't seem right to me? I don't know.

 

If anyone has any genuine, sincere advice or thoughts on the matter, I would greatly appreciate if you might share it with me. But I have been through a lot, so please no personal attacks. Thank you so much.

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I love the patriarchal blessing and the bishop's advice.  These are precious gifts. Just like the rest of us, you still have the responsibility to stay close to the Lord, when and when not using these gifts and abilities.  My mind is warmed by your story, your testimony, and your spiritual gifts.  May God be with you.

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Hi Lonely Convert! I really enjoyed reading your story. I especially appreciated your description of your initial "epiphany" ending with the amazing revelation: "I remembered God." That's good stuff! :-)

As to these spiritual gifts, I agree with Meadowchik that your Bishop's counsel and your patriarchal blessing are extremely important. When I was a missionary in Germany, I knew a member of the Church who also had somewhat unusual spiritual gifts. She seldom said anything about them, and yet there was a time when she chose (I have no doubt she was prompted by the spirit) to use her gift to bless me. I was/am grateful that she did.

Edited by Okrahomer
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Your power of expression is both beautiful and clear, your heart wonderfully pure and without guile.  What you have described, including the brief encounter with the darkside, is classic inspiration.  Most of us struggle to obtain even occasional bursts of inspiration.  Some of us receive rare direction from the Lord without even having asked for it.  LDS leaders particularly depend upon just such inspired direction.

 

For example, although he is not now in good health, what you have said here reminds me very much of the words of Apostle Richard G. Scott in the Oct 2009 General Conference, online at https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2009/10/to-acquire-spiritual-guidance?lang=eng .  I think that you will find him speaking particularly to you, and that you will come away understanding that you are not some heretic or freak, but are blessed with a precious gift that needs to be carefully nurtured and reflected upon.  There is a reason why you have been given such a gift.  Handle it with care.

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A pearl does not need to be shared or given away to be a pearl; it is a pearl regardless.  Your spiritual gifts are spiritual gifts and need not be shared to be such. 

 

The challenge for each of us is to learn to live by the Spirit; to follow his guidance and direction.  As members of the Church of Jesus Christ we are taught specific ways to explore spirituality.  As you so readily evidence, there are other gifts and other expressions of spirituality that differ from what we define as normal methods and ways.  The difference is that in one area we are lead and taught and in the other there is little or no directions or teachings that will serve to guide us when we encounter them.  This lack of teaching will cause many, if not most, to be uncomfortable with such different forms of spirituality.

 

The little teaching we have regarding familiar spirits can lead some to close off all potential to certain forms of spirituality.  When we lack knowledge it is easy to be mislead and exploration may lead us into dangerous paths. 

 

I don't know why God created pearls and I don't know why some have been given gifts of one kind or another.  I don't understand may things that occur in this life.  What I know is that I can follow the Spirit and sense his presence.  What meager counsel I could give you is to echo the scriptures.  Do not cast your pearl before swine; be circumspect in using your gifts and follow the Spirit; be wary of pride for it is always the pitfall of the gifted; trust in Spirit's guidance and direction.  Lastly, you are not alone and you are not unique; you are simply gifted.

Edited by Storm Rider
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Your writing is beautiful.   And it is a great blessing to have received such inspiration.    When I read your story, I think that the problem will arise if you use the gift when people come to you.  (Their seeking you instead of God is also problematic.)  If I were in your place, I would not use my gift at others' request, but only when I received specific inspiration to offer the gift to someone.   And I would not share my story without specific prompting to do so, because there was a specific reason that you have the gift that you do.   On earth many people are weak and want to know, when they need to work through their struggles without the information.   The comfort you give by giving them what you know, may not be what Heavenly Father wants for them except when you are specifically inspired to do that.

 

And I would also be cautious about thinking that simply because you start a meeting with prayer, it somehow assures that whatever you do at a meeting is okay with God.   Or that if "good members" participate it must be alright.    Neither are true universally.

 

Your screen name also suggests you may be at risk for misuse of your gift.   Wanting to belong is an important normal need.   And you absolutely do belong our Heavenly Parent's family, in Their church.  But there are plenty of other precious children who will tell you that even knowing that does not necessarily cure the loneliness.    You may be tempted to use the gift to fit in more, to be invited more, to be more important.   May I suggest that a bulwark against this risk would be cognitive behavioral therapy that will give you skills so that you are able to think clearly and healthy?   I am also intrigued by some new research that identify what makes people happy and suggests ways to incorporate those skills.  While secular knowledge will never replace spiritual study and knowledge, there can be value in using current information about how our bodies work to improve our lives (and the gospel incorporates all truth in all realms). 

http://stressfree.org/book/

 

Godspeed in your new journey.

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I have the same question, because my niece has just opened up about a gift similar to yours. She now does readings for people. And according to their comments she is dead on, excuse the pun.

People like you and my niece, give me hope of an afterlife! My niece is an inactive Catholic, btw. And I support her, and "like" and "share" some of her posts on FB. But she is my niece, so can't help it.

I do get a little worried at her making a profit out of it though. But others with gifts also make a profit, so is this different? Not saying you would do this.

Also, I think you're a gifted writer! Welcome to the board, hopefully you'll stick around and/or start a blog!! :)

Edited by Tacenda
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Quote: Or am I to have this ability for no purpose?

I have a similar, but quite different gift. Here is what I have learned:

It is imperative that I put the basics first. Praying. Reading the scriptures. Partaking of the sacrament every week. Etc.

It isn't to be shared with everyone. For awhile I didn't understand this. Sometimes it is so I don't get a big head and think it is me. Sometimes it is the way others seek knowledge either when they should be doing it on their own through prayer, seeking knowledge they shouldn't be or just being cynical and wanting to test me. So I don't share it, except for those close around me or who I am inspired to share it with. I have learned that most of the time I can share what I need to without sharing I have a gift.

I remember one time asking Heavenly Father, "why are you telling me this specific thing?" He then told me why and I was able to use the knowledge and reasons why to help someone. They haven't got a clue what went on behind it. Now if I don't know right away what to do with it I ponder and pray over what God wants me to do with it. Sometimes what comes from prayer shows me I slightly misunderstood when it first came. That made more sense when I think of Elder Scott's talk on packets of light that I think was linked above (I didn't check the link).

Over the years I have found other things in my blessing to help me use the gift. I've found those things very important for one reason or another. Continue to search from time to time for understanding of how to use your gifts in your blessing.

Edited by Rain
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I do get a little worried at her making a profit out of it though. But others with gifts also make a profit, so is this different? Not saying you would do this.

I've had this same question at times. There are subtle differences of when it is ok and when it is not. The best I can figure out how to say it is if you are charging to give others your revelation it isn't good. They need to have their own revelation. If you are using your revelation to DO something to help others then sometimes it is ok to be paid and sometimes Heavenly Father wants you to do it as service.

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I've had this same question at times. There are subtle differences of when it is ok and when it is not. The best I can figure out how to say it is if you are charging to give others your revelation it isn't good. They need to have their own revelation. If you are using your revelation to DO something to help others then sometimes it is ok to be paid and sometimes Heavenly Father wants you to do it as service.

She is definitely in the latter, thanks Rain!
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There are diverse gifts from God. I don't know all of them. I don't even really know the ones He has given me. But I know they are there.

I think you are asking the wrong people. Not that I don't think the people here are good. I love them all. Even the obnoxious ones.

But we can't tell you when or how to use your spiritual gifts. You need to talk to the Lord about it. You need to learn how to use them His way. That often takes fasting and prayer.

Keep the commandments. Follow the Spirit. Seek the Lords will and you will know how to use them.

And if you see my grandmother on the other side of the veil let her know I love her.

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I love the patriarchal blessing and the bishop's advice.  These are precious gifts. Just like the rest of us, you still have the responsibility to stay close to the Lord, when and when not using these gifts and abilities.  My mind is warmed by your story, your testimony, and your spiritual gifts.  May God be with you.

Thanks so much for replying!

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Hi Lonely Convert! I really enjoyed reading your story. I especially appreciated your description of your initial "epiphany" ending with the amazing revelation: "I remembered God." That's good stuff! :-)

As to these spiritual gifts, I agree with Meadowchik that your Bishop's counsel and your patriarchal blessing are extremely important. When I was a missionary in Germany, I knew a member of the Church who also had somewhat unusual spiritual gifts. She seldom said anything about them, and yet there was a time when she chose (I have no doubt she was prompted by the spirit) to use her gift to bless me. I was/am grateful that she did.

Thank you so much for the reply, yes I have really taken what my Bishop said to heart, especially about not living half in some other reality.

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Your power of expression is both beautiful and clear, your heart wonderfully pure and without guile.  What you have described, including the brief encounter with the darkside, is classic inspiration.  Most of us struggle to obtain even occasional bursts of inspiration.  Some of us receive rare direction from the Lord without even having asked for it.  LDS leaders particularly depend upon just such inspired direction.

 

For example, although he is not now in good health, what you have said here reminds me very much of the words of Apostle Richard G. Scott in the Oct 2009 General Conference, online at https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2009/10/to-acquire-spiritual-guidance?lang=eng .  I think that you will find him speaking particularly to you, and that you will come away understanding that you are not some heretic or freak, but are blessed with a precious gift that needs to be carefully nurtured and reflected upon.  There is a reason why you have been given such a gift.  Handle it with care.

Wow thank you so much for that link, I will definitely watch it, I was only converted in... i think it was 2012... so i missed this conference,  but yes thanks so much for that link!

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A pearl does not need to be shared or given away to be a pearl; it is a pearl regardless.  Your spiritual gifts are spiritual gifts and need not be shared to be such. 

 

The challenge for each of us is to learn to live by the Spirit; to follow his guidance and direction.  As members of the Church of Jesus Christ we are taught specific ways to explore spirituality.  As you so readily evidence, there are other gifts and other expressions of spirituality that differ from what we define as normal methods and ways.  The difference is that in one area we are lead and taught and in the other there is little or no directions or teachings that will serve to guide us when we encounter them.  This lack of teaching will cause many, if not most, to be uncomfortable with such different forms of spirituality.

 

The little teaching we have regarding familiar spirits can lead some to close off all potential to certain forms of spirituality.  When we lack knowledge it is easy to be mislead and exploration may lead us into dangerous paths. 

 

I don't know why God created pearls and I don't know why some have been given gifts of one kind or another.  I don't understand may things that occur in this life.  What I know is that I can follow the Spirit and sense his presence.  What meager counsel I could give you is to echo the scriptures.  Do not cast your pearl before swine; be circumspect in using your gifts and follow the Spirit; be wary of pride for it is always the pitfall of the gifted; trust in Spirit's guidance and direction.  Lastly, you are not alone and you are not unique; you are simply gifted.

Thank you so much for the compliment! Agreed, because I have no idea why I can do this, I certainly didn't ask for it! I know that Heavenly Father has a plan and I often struggle with wanting to know what it is He wishes me to do on my end to help it come about. Sometimes I over think it I am sure, but I always want to make sure I am doing everything I am supposed to be doing. But you are right, as long as I follow the gospel to the t, then I can't go wrong!

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Your writing is beautiful.   And it is a great blessing to have received such inspiration.    When I read your story, I think that the problem will arise if you use the gift when people come to you.  (Their seeking you instead of God is also problematic.)  If I were in your place, I would not use my gift at others' request, but only when I received specific inspiration to offer the gift to someone.   And I would not share my story without specific prompting to do so, because there was a specific reason that you have the gift that you do.   On earth many people are weak and want to know, when they need to work through their struggles without the information.   The comfort you give by giving them what you know, may not be what Heavenly Father wants for them except when you are specifically inspired to do that.

 

And I would also be cautious about thinking that simply because you start a meeting with prayer, it somehow assures that whatever you do at a meeting is okay with God.   Or that if "good members" participate it must be alright.    Neither are true universally.

 

Your screen name also suggests you may be at risk for misuse of your gift.   Wanting to belong is an important normal need.   And you absolutely do belong our Heavenly Parent's family, in Their church.  But there are plenty of other precious children who will tell you that even knowing that does not necessarily cure the loneliness.    You may be tempted to use the gift to fit in more, to be invited more, to be more important.   May I suggest that a bulwark against this risk would be cognitive behavioral therapy that will give you skills so that you are able to think clearly and healthy?   I am also intrigued by some new research that identify what makes people happy and suggests ways to incorporate those skills.  While secular knowledge will never replace spiritual study and knowledge, there can be value in using current information about how our bodies work to improve our lives (and the gospel incorporates all truth in all realms). 

http://stressfree.org/book/

 

Godspeed in your new journey.

Thank you for the compliment about my writing. Yes I agree, I would not want someone coming to me when they should be approaching God or even asking the Bishop. Thank you for the advice, it seems sound to me that I should not be going around telling everyone about the gift or offering to use it all the time, which thankfully I haven't done except to share it with those two girls and the bishop as I wrote earlier, and of course on this forum anonymously to help get some perspective. In fact, I have learned that there are some people who would find such a spiritual gift very frightening because they may presume that it is in fact not something given to me by God. I think that I will just stick to my patriarchal blessing and only use it when prompted. I also find that if God does not want me to share it, little things happen to prevent the subject from ever even coming up at all.

 

As far as my username, don't judge a personality by its username, lol! It is funny how just a simple phrase can inspire so much presumption, but we all do that don't we! My mind as far as I or anyone who knows me can tell is perfectly sound and mentally/emotionally healthy. Actually I am a very well adjusted person, I have a husband and family but at this time, I am the only member of the church in my family. In fact my husband is quite resentful towards Christianity at large, which is where my screen name comes in... I chose it because I am unable to speak to my husband about my beliefs and spiritual concerns and experiences. He is a wonderful person and a good and honorable man, but I was converted after we were married, so I am finding some loneliness in the sense that I can't share my spiritual side with him as it seems to provoke this anger and resentment towards Christianity and causes him to go off on angry rants, so I just don't want to push it. But it does leave me with a bit of a void, hence the reason I got on the forum and chose the name I did. I certainly don't crave or need any acceptance or attention from anyone because I feel that socially, with my husband and children and church, my life is very fulfilling.  I don't have any desire to "fit in" with anyone because I feel that I do fit in very nicely and I occupy the perfect place in society for myself. 

 

The only thing that would possibly motivate me to use such a gift would be not a desire for attention, but a desire to do what Heavenly Father wants me to. Although I do admit that being able to relieve someone's intense grief over the loss of a loved one is really touching and sweet! 

 

Anyhow, thank so much for your very sensible words, if I did want attention it would certainly do me good to hear such cautionary advice in regards to my motivations! Thank you!

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I have the same question, because my niece has just opened up about a gift similar to yours. She now does readings for people. And according to their comments she is dead on, excuse the pun.

People like you and my niece, give me hope of an afterlife! My niece is an inactive Catholic, btw. And I support her, and "like" and "share" some of her posts on FB. But she is my niece, so can't help it.

I do get a little worried at her making a profit out of it though. But others with gifts also make a profit, so is this different? Not saying you would do this.

Also, I think you're a gifted writer! Welcome to the board, hopefully you'll stick around and/or start a blog!! :)

Thanks for the sweet compliment, maybe what I really need to be doing is writing, lol! Thank you also for sharing about your niece, I really appreciate the perspective.

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There are diverse gifts from God. I don't know all of them. I don't even really know the ones He has given me. But I know they are there.

I think you are asking the wrong people. Not that I don't think the people here are good. I love them all. Even the obnoxious ones.

But we can't tell you when or how to use your spiritual gifts. You need to talk to the Lord about it. You need to learn how to use them His way. That often takes fasting and prayer.

Keep the commandments. Follow the Spirit. Seek the Lords will and you will know how to use them.

And if you see my grandmother on the other side of the veil let her know I love her.

I must say, this is the best response I have gotten. You are absolutely right, I need to fast and pray and allow the Spirit to guide me. I need to stop over thinking it so much and let the small still voice show me the way.

 

And about your grandmother, well I know that people who have passed on to the other side don't have to speak, they can think to each other to communicate... so, I can tell you for sure that when you think of her, she knows it, when you speak of her, she hears it, and when you miss her, she feels it and holds you in her arms.

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My niece is going to give me phone reading, do you have any advice? Can she help with a faith crisis? And to know how my parents are doing on the other side? And if they're nearby. Or why I've never felt them close.

Hope I haven't overstepped by asking.

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No you haven't over stepped by asking! There is no harm in the asking, and keeping my personal boundaries is my responsibility to myself, and you could never do anything wrong by simply asking! And it is totally fine I would be glad to give you some info about the subject.

 

 

Well, generally I would advise against getting readings simply because people tend to put way too much faith in them (instead of treating them as a curiosity) and therein lies the danger of them.

But, as you know I cannot absolutely tell you not to get a reading from someone you love and trust as a family member, especially because of my own personal experiences... but, if you are going to get a reading, then no one can stop you anyways, and so you might as well be spiritually and intellectually "armed", so I would tell you this...

 

1) Take whatever you are told with a grain of salt... only the Gospel should be believed, and not anything anyone tells you. Remember, the devil will tell 99 truths in order to get you to believe one lie. Anything you are told that does not oppose the Gospel or the Holy Spirit MAY be taken into consideration simply for the sake of your own curiosity and pondering, however do not base any life decisions or spiritual decisions you make on something you heard in a reading, only base life/spiritual decisions on the Gospel and the Holy Spirit and what not, as you normally would. If you are told something that goes against the Gospel, it is to be totally disregarded by your ears and mind and heart.

 

2) I do not know your niece of course, but I am sure she is a wonderful and gifted person... however even the best of us can be easily deceived. This can become very confusing, especially if one is having issues with faith. I AM NOT saying that this is the case with your niece, I am just reiterating that anything you are told is to be taken in stride and it is not something to prop up your faith with.

 

3) Ultimately, although some people have genuine spiritual gifts and make genuine connections, and some people are very in touch with God and can give wonderful spiritual advice, but you could have all the advice in the world and it would not solve an issue with faith. That can only be resolved within yourself, with the Gospel, the Holy Spirit, and fasting and prayer.

 

 

Ok so all of that being said, lol! I don't think I can make an actual mediumship connection over text in a forum, however I can tell you some things about the other side that apply to anyone who passes over, including your loved ones who have passed.

 

On the other side, everyone is young again, usually around age 30-looking (except for children who will appear as children), and everyone is completely gorgeous!

On the other side, there are no physical ailments, no mental illnesses, no feelings of anger or upset, no depression, no jealousy, no fear-based negative emotion whatsoever. Reality is love, God is love, we are love, it is simply what we are made of and it is our natural state of being...and the reason we can only experience love and all the appendages thereof (such as happiness, joy, bliss, laughter, and just all happy innocent lovely feelings like when one is a child) on the other side is because fear is the absence of love (or the illusion of the absence of love) and it simply cannot exist in the reality of God which is love, it can only exist here under the illusion of the veil where we are hidden from God and his realm of pure bliss.

 

On the other side, NOTHING is hidden... your entire self is completely exposed to God at all times, every thought, every whim, every day dream, every memory, every facet of your personality... He knows everything there is to know about you at all times. God is aware of ALL things at all times. The other thing is that, although reular folks are not aware of all things at all times, because they are not God, they can still know anything they want to about something they choose to become aware of, including everything about you.

This is because of the communication that goes on over there. On the other side, people can choose to speak with language if they wish, as in speaking with thier mouths for the sake of doing it... however they do not need language because they can speak with their thoughts. I will explain... let us say that you had an experience, for example a picnic you went on, that you want to tell your friend about. Normally, you would have to use language/speech in order to experss the experience to them. You would have to take time to explain the location you went to, where it was and what it looked like, the temperature, the food you ate and how it tasted, the ant that bit you and how it felt, the smell of the trees and flowers, the feeling of the breeze on your skin... you may want to share the conversation you had on this picnic, and the thoughts you were having about the conversation while you were having it and your retrospective thoughts about the conversation now, and your retrospective opinion overall about the whole experience. If you really wanted to get all those details in, and there could be numberless details about it that you wouldnt even want to share simply because it was insignificant and would take to long to explain. Just to get the general idea across would take quite a lot of talking.

On the other side, ALL of that information would be transferred over to that person in an instant. ALL of it, and not only the information, but the entire experience would be known by the person who you are communicating with. Similarly, if someone wanted to know about this experience you had, they would simply have to desire to know it and it would be known by them, without you having even to send it over to them. It is like everyone has a clear glass file folder over their heads that anyone can open and look at anytime. There are NO secrets on the other side.

 

And they have the ability to get that same information about people who are still alive on Earth, even though the people on Earth can't yet do the same thing. So if someone alive on Earth thinks about someone who has passed onto the other side, it is instantly known by them that you are thinking of them, what you are thinking of, how you are feeling about it, and so on! It is really very amzing, it is like going from a 14kbps dial up connection to a T1 modem.

In fact, if you are ever going about your normal life, and you suddenly find yourself thinking about someone who has passed on, out of nowhere and for no reason, this can be a pretty good indication to you that they may be "around" or in fact focusing sharp attention on you at that time.

In fact many times you have probably thought of someone while doing chores around the house for example, and this is because they have come around you and given you a spiritual hug so to speak, but you brush it off and think you cant feel them around. This happens alot you sort of have to pay attention to the sound of silence, the colors of midnight, the smell of no aroma, to use expressions... to pick up on the totally subtle hints of such things.

 

Another thing I know about the other side is that everything radiates love at you, and you also radiate love as well. The flowers, the birds, that rivers, the animals, absolutely everything radiates love out to you, and just LOVES you, and you can feel it as if it were heat coming off of them but instead of feeling heat, you feel loved. And God is the most loved of all, but He also gives out the most love. He is like the sun, and instead of heat and UV rays and sun flares, he is radiating the purest, most good, most benevolent, most selfless, infinte love and nothing can exist in His presence that is not also made of pure love or it would be destroyed (luckily as God's children we are in fact made of pure love, even if sometimes while we are on Earth it doesn't seem like it). The more good you are, the more righteous you are, the closer you can get to God, and the closer you can get to God, the more bliss you feel. It is really amazing...

 

Another thing about the other side is that not only can people communicate with eachother in the way I described, but they can also communicate with everything else there, such as animals, trees, flowers, the water, the sky, the ground, the grass.... it all radiates love at you and they can communicate with you. Everything on the other side is alive, there is nothing on the other side that is not made alive by God's love.

 

On this side of the veil, we can only see a very limited band of light waves which translate to our experience as color... but there are so many more bands of light waves that we cannot see on Earth, and even more so that do not even exist in this world at all.... Well on the other side all those light waves can be seen by the person including xrays and gama rays and infrared and even more that no one knows about, and all those light rays are their own color, and the color is nothing anyone on Earth has ever seen and there is no way to explain a new color to anyone, it is beyond conception. So the other side is colored with all these wonderful colors that you have never seen before, and all these light waves that enable you to not only see everything but you can see inside of everything if you choose to focus on that... and speaking of vision, you can see anything in great detail no matter how "far away" it seems to be.

 

On the other side, angels do not need wings, in fact no one needs to "travel" anywhere because if you WANT to be somewhere, you will simply be there. You can CHOOSE to travel, such as going for a walk, or flying, or swimming, or running, or taking a bicycle or what have you... but it is not nessecary as you can simply be where ever it is you wish to be.

 

On the other side, you never have to sleep, you never get tired. On the other side, you have access to infinite knowledge and activities, so you will never get bored. This is because God is endless, which means you will never ever ever run out of new things to experience or learn, because God is infinitely creative and it is impossible for us to ever become bored. Bored is also an emotion that cannot exist there anyways, and so indeed everything will always be super interesting forever.

 

The closer to God you get, the better ALL OF IT gets. And the more unconditional love and kindness and selflessness and relieving of burdens and that you do on Earth, the closer to God you will become.

 

So, this is just a microscopic glimmer of the majesty and rapture of the otherside, it is only a shadow of a shell of a representation of what it is like, it is only the tip of a planet sized iceberg... The real thing is infinitely better than I am even capable of describing.

 

And this is what your loved ones on the other side are experiencing at this time... and yet all of that glory and they still are connected to you by the love they have for you and will never stop thinking about you and remembering you and they absolutely anticipate the day when you can be reunited with them many many years from now... so I hope this helps you somewhat...

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You always had the faith! But even the most faithful lose sight of the big picture sometimes... that veil is very thick... it is really a kind of amnesiatic anesthesia and it does its job really well! Anyways I am glad that I could help remind you of that which you already know in your heart and soul! Hugs!

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Somewhat? Helps more than anything. Now the faith to believe!! Thank you!

Isn't the next step rather to seek spiritual confirmation that it is true?   Once(if) you get that, believing should be exponentially easier.

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