Mormon Loses Recommend for Belching in Church

[Bernard Gui]

My old cell mate, confessor, and erstwhile tormentor of anti-Mormon protestors, S. Heber Young, sent me this clipping from the Hurricane, Utah, newspaper, Deserette Newds

Dateline: reported by Indy Foyay: Hurricane UT, 26 July, 2018, Deserette Newds Service

MORMON DAD LOSES TEMPLE RECOMMEND FOR BELCHING IN CHURCH

“Emmet Gasse, a member of the Hurricane 8th Ward, wrote on his Facebook page (which has since gone viral with over 25 views) that his bishop has denied him a temple recommend because of his constant belching in the Hurricane 8th Ward elders quorum Sunday discussion circle. 

“Gasse says that Bishop Chauncey Beano called him into his office to discuss complaints that quorum members are offended by the constant tummy rumbling and burping sounds. Gasse told the bishop that belching is a natural product of digestion and that every man does it. He said he learned in BYU Professor Henry Nichole’s Personal Health 101 class that to maintain good psychological health one should never be ashamed of his natural bodily functions. ‘I had a missionary companion who could recite the entire alphabet in a single belch. We were proud of him, not ashamed!’ Gasse claimed.

“Bishop Beano counseled Gasse either to burp softly to himself, go outside or into the men’s restroom to burp, or to carry a few Gas-X tablets in his pocket and take them when he felt the urge. Gasse adamantly rejected these suggestions. He strongly stated, ‘It’s a man’s right to belch any time, any where, and those who are bothered by it should get a life and take Professor Nichols’ class.’

“After refusing to sign Gasse’s recommend, Beano referred him to the stake president. According to Gasse, in the meeting with him and his wife Sister Flatty Gasse, President I. Gotte Hartberne reinforced the counsel given to him by Bishop Beano, but Gasse again adamantly refused. He told the President, “Burping is not considered rude in parts of India, Arabia, Peru, Papúa New Guinea, China, and Bahrain. In fact, belching after a meal can be a sign of satisfaction. On my mission in Lower Slobovia, men regularly belched in all kinds of public situations, and no one batted an eye.” He then gave forth a dampish but defiantly resonant belch in which could be discerned the words, ‘Up yours, oppressive dude.’

“President Hartberne then requested Gasse leave the room. He asked Sister Gasse if her husband was this rude at home. Taking great offense, she replied, “Belching is as natural as your toenails growing. All us Gasses, even my in-laws, kids, and some family friends endulge in frequent belching activities such as swallowing air, matching musical pitches, trying for longest duration, and producing the best variety, etc. We joined the International Right to Belch movement last month. Our son Vomitus has learned to belch the first line of ‘I’m So Glad When Daddy Comes Home’ with only one break to swallow more air! He’ll be doing that when the Primary kids sing it in sacrament meeting next Sunday, despite what you or Bishop Beano say!”

“President Hartberne reportedly told Flatty that her husband appears to be somewhat insecure in his manhood and that she was to keep him from eating cabbage, drinking sodas, and chewing gum before church. At this point, Flatty left the room to join her husband. They angrily departed from the building together, emitting several belches in well-tuned octaves on the way out. It has been rumored that the bishop will not be signing her temple recommend either.”

 

S. Heber Young comments with a shrug, “Well, there it is.”

 

 

Edited July 28, 2018 by Bernard Gui

[Glenn101]

4 hours ago, Bernard Gui said:

‘I had a missionary companion who could recite the entire alphabet in a single belch. We were proud of him, not ashamed!’ Gasse claimed.

Hmmmm. I remember a movie called "Ratz" in which one of the characters would call up a girl he knew to belch the alphabet. Could this character maybe gave up his career as a thespian, or maybe put it on hold, to go on a mission??? Or is just plagiarism??? 😃

Glenn

[Prof]

Thanks for posting this!

Jumping Jack Flash is a gas gas gas!!!!

[Stargazer]

I had to check the calender to make sure it hadn't unexpectedly advanced to April 1.

[Thinking]

[Bernard Gui]

2 hours ago, Stargazer said:

I had to check the calender to make sure it hadn't unexpectedly advanced to April 1.

What was your first cue that it was a spoof? 😁

[RevTestament]

8 hours ago, Bernard Gui said:

My old cell mate, confessor, and erstwhile tormentor of anti-Mormon protestors, S. Heber Young, sent me this clipping from the Hurricane, Utah, newspaper, Deserette Newds

Dateline: reported by Indy Foyay: Hurricane UT, 26 July, 2018, Deserette Newds Service

MORMON DAD LOSES TEMPLE RECOMMEND FOR BELCHING IN CHURCH

“Emmet Gasse, a member of the Hurricane 8th Ward, wrote on his Facebook page (which has since gone viral with over 25 views) that his bishop has denied him a temple recommend because of his constant belching in the Hurricane 8th Ward elders quorum Sunday discussion circle. 

“Gasse says that Bishop Chauncey Beano called him into his office to discuss complaints that quorum members are offended by the constant tummy rumbling and burping sounds. Gasse told the bishop that belching is a natural product of digestion and that every man does it. He said he learned in BYU Professor Henry Nichole’s Personal Health 101 class that to maintain good psychological health one should never be ashamed of his natural bodily functions. ‘I had a missionary companion who could recite the entire alphabet in a single belch. We were proud of him, not ashamed!’ Gasse claimed.

“Bishop Beano counseled Gasse either to burp softly to himself, go outside or into the men’s restroom to burp, or to carry a few Gas-X tablets in his pocket and take them when he felt the urge. Gasse adamantly rejected these suggestions. He strongly stated, ‘It’s a man’s right to belch any time, any where, and those who are bothered by it should get a life and take Professor Nichols’ class.’

 

I didn't realize what I've been missing. I'm gonna have to start getting the Deserette Newds.

[Bernard Gui]

5 hours ago, Glenn101 said:

Hmmmm. I remember a movie called "Ratz" in which one of the characters would call up a girl he knew to belch the alphabet. Could this character maybe gave up his career as a thespian, or maybe put it on hold, to go on a mission??? Or is just plagiarism??? 😃

Glenn

I’ve never seen “Ratz.” I actually did have a companion in Honduras who could do this. He could do a lot of amazing things with burps. On a quiet night you could hear him belch a block away. He was a belching prodigy. I learned a few techniques from him. Oh the things missionaries do! He shall remain nameless, but he is retired and lives in South Jordan. If you are in the neighborhood perhaps you have heard him.

Edited July 28, 2018 by Bernard Gui

[Glenn101]

2 hours ago, Bernard Gui said:

I’ve never seen “Ratz.” I actually did have a companion in Honduras who could do this. He could do a lot of amazing things with burps. On a quiet night you could hear him belch a block away. He was a belching prodigy. I learned a few techniques from him. Oh the things missionaries do! He shall remain nameless, but he is retired and lives in South Jordan. If you are in the neighborhood perhaps you have heard him.

Afraid not. I am a Southern redneck and have never lived in the wild west. As for Ratz, it was a totally juvenile mash up Kathy Baker and Ron Silver some young gals and guys with a mixed up sort of Cinderella plot. The boy that was the subject of the alphabet belching and his friend were described as two dorks that shared one brain.

But back to your original post, maybe you could be a litle less subtle so that rednecks like me can get the point. It is not fair when you focus your remarks towards the intellectual elite. 😔

Glen

[Bernard Gui]

6 minutes ago, Glenn101 said:

Afraid not. I am a Southern redneck and have never lived in the wild west. As for Ratz, it was a totally juvenile mash up Kathy Baker and Ron Silver some young gals and guys with a mixed up sort of Cinderella plot. The boy that was the subject of the alphabet belching and his friend were described as two dorks that shared one brain.

But back to your original post, maybe you could be a litle less subtle so that rednecks like me can get the point. It is not fair when you focus your remarks towards the intellectual elite. 😔

Glen

Depending on the date of the movie, perhaps they plagiarized us. It was quite a notorious accomplishment in certain areas. This was in 1967. 

My parents gave me private subtlety lessons when I was a kid. Are you suggesting that was an effective use of their money?

Edited July 28, 2018 by Bernard Gui

[mnn727]

7 hours ago, Glenn101 said:

 Could this character maybe gave up his career as a thespian, or maybe put it on hold, to go on a mission??? 

 

Should a thespian even go on a mission?

[mfbukowski]

7 hours ago, Glenn101 said:

Hmmmm. I remember a movie called "Ratz" in which one of the characters would call up a girl he knew to belch the alphabet. Could this character maybe gave up his career as a thespian, or maybe put it on hold, to go on a mission??? Or is just plagiarism??? 😃

Glenn

We don't allow practicing thespians in the church.

We love the sinner we hate the sin. But a mission? No way!

Edited July 28, 2018 by mfbukowski

[MorningStar]

I heard he wasn't just belching, but getting up in testimony meeting and belching the names of the women who are attracted to him. 

[CV75]

You know the same thing happened to me one day.

[BCSpace]

I think unrestrained belching in church meetings would fall under the "loud laughter" category and is therefore TR deniable.

[Bernard Gui]

On 7/28/2018 at 2:20 PM, MorningStar said:

I heard he wasn't just belching, but getting up in testimony meeting and belching the names of the women who are attracted to him. 

Are you daring to suggest that there is a sexual component to belching? I get it that a lady could be attracted to a great belcher in a movie, a bar,  or at the beach, but at Church? She needs to learn to control herself!

Edited July 30, 2018 by Bernard Gui

[Bernard Gui]

2 hours ago, BCSpace said:

I think unrestrained belching in church meetings would fall under the "loud laughter" category and is therefore TR deniable.

Oi, yes! Or could that be referring to what should happen to the rude brothers in the congregation who think it’s funny?

[Guest]

You know when you see something and think to yourself, "I should not even look at this"? Well, now I can't unsee, or unhear it! Good grief. 

[Bernard Gui]

11 minutes ago, Bill "Papa" Lee said:

You know when you see something and think to yourself, "I should not even look at this"? Well, now I can't unsee, or unhear it! Good grief. 

That’s the beauty of it!😋

[Anijen]

I unintentionally snorted once during my testimony, the Bishop burst out laughing... I did get to keep my temple recommend, well, that time...

[MorningStar]

True story: My uncle was fired from an ice cream parlor for burping in the microphone that is used for calling out when people's orders are ready.  

[Bernard Gui]

1 hour ago, MorningStar said:

True story: My uncle was fired from an ice cream parlor for burping in the microphone that is used for calling out when people's orders are ready.  

What a coincidence! Bishop Beano owns the ice cream shop in Hurricane and fired a worker for doing exactly that! He must have some sort of obsession with burping.