Missionary Welcome Home At Airport Needs More Cowbell!

[tonie]

Op-ed by LDS member picking up his missionary at the Salt Lake City International Airport; he did not know he needed to bring cowbells.  His main complaint seems to be the spectacle that has become picking up a missionary at the airport.

 

Escalation in LDS missionary welcome-home spectacles

"I also didn’t know you needed to bring cowbells. That’s right, cowbells. When I came home from my mission, my mom and dad and some of my brothers and sisters came to the airport to pick me up. There were tears, hugs and kisses but nothing more. We thought we would go well beyond that and make a couple of handmade posters. White paper, red marker posters. We were completely unprepared for the current methods of picking up a missionary. We saw professionally printed signs and banners, balloons and bouquets of flowers. The freshly returned missionaries included Sister Someone-Designed-a-Freaking-T-shirt-for- the-Entire-Entourage, Elder We-Hired-a-Videographer and Sister Cowbell. When Sister Cowbell came down the escalator she arrived to the cheers of dozens of family members and six juvenile cousins ringing cowbells. Good Lord have mercy."

 

 

 

Should the "spectacle" aspect of the welcome home, be saved for the home?

[Hamba Tuhan]

I personally would save it for never.

[Buckeye]

Personally, I think some welcomes are over the top. And sometimes the welcomes suffer from a "keeping up with the jones mentality." I see the same trend with military welcomes, where a big production is often done that often involves the community. It seems like everyday there is a video of a soldier who surprises his kid by secretly being the umpire for his baseball game or some other such stunt. Personally, I'd keep it simple and within the family for both military and missionary.

 

But so what? The airport, ball field, and other welcome home spaces are public areas. Why can't we just let every family decide what they think is best?  I'd rather others not pick apart my welcome (as being either too much or too little). 

[Tacenda]

I hate when they treat outgoing and incoming missionaries like celebrities or treat them in worshipful ways. It's over the top, maybe FB is just full of posts and I'm seeing it all displayed where before it didn't.

And didn't the church come out several years ago and ask that only parents and siblings meet the missionaries at the airport? I guess it's not a big deal anymore. But that's how it was when my family met my missionary son. No grandparents, friends or aunts and uncles. But it may have been a local mandate.

Edited December 19, 2014 by Tacenda

[JLHPROF]

I am all for encouraging our young people to serve the Lord and for acknowledging their faithful service at the end.

And goodness knows those kids miss their families.

 

But I think putting on a welcome home spectacle, in public no less, totally misses the point.  It turns something deeply spiritual into something social at best.

 

I mean, when in scripture do they throw the prophets and apostles a party for their service to God?  I know there's an upcoming wedding supper, but I am sure that will be a dignified affair.

My family has the same response when we see someone coming out of the temple after being married to crowds of families and photographers (and even on occasion probably wearing a dress that does NOT include garments) to a huge social event.  Kind of makes me feel like they missed the point of their temple endowment/wedding...but maybe I'm judging too harshly.

[ERayR]

 

 

Should the "spectacle" aspect of the welcome home, be saved for the home?

 

Yes !  Yes!! and Yes!!!

[Calm]

Personally, I think some welcomes are over the top. And sometimes the welcomes suffer from a "keeping up with the jones mentality." I see the same trend with military welcomes, where a big production is often done that often involves the community. It seems like everyday there is a video of a soldier who surprises his kid by secretly being the umpire for his baseball game or some other such stunt. Personally, I'd keep it simple and within the family for both military and missionary.

 

But so what? The airport, ball field, and other welcome home spaces are public areas. Why can't we just let every family decide what they think is best?  I'd rather others not pick apart my welcome (as being either too much or too little). 

The soldier is serving his community so I don't see as significant of an issue with the community making a big deal of his service, though I personally think that a more private homecoming would be more healing for the kids as they might feel distracted by the crowds or even worse embarassed by being the center of attention.  

 

Missionaries and couples though…I feel like that is looking for public recogntion of what should be a quiet covenant with the Lord even if it impacts the community.  The whole not doing alms in front of others, etc. concept.  I don't have a problem if the couple wishes to make a big deal of their wedding later, away from the temple, but I feel strange when I see the temple being used as a background to the event rather than being our focus.  The pictures are beautiful and call to mind a temple wedding which is what we want to teach and certainly the Church isn't shy about putting up tons of these types of pictures to promote and teach temple wedding as a goal…and I am not sure this is a bad thing.   Is there that much difference in the 'hassle' that surrounds taking a picture of the temple itself and taking a picture of a family in front of a temple? I may be just too antipomp myself.

Edited December 19, 2014 by calmoriah

[Hamba Tuhan]

Exactly six years ago, as Young Men president, I finally had some success working with one of our inactive young men, and he started coming back to church. Three years ago, I ordained him an Elder and the following week took him with me to hospital to administer to an elderly single sister who was very sick. From that point forward, he became a 'ministering angel' to this sister, visiting her often both in hospital and later at home, watching out for her, taking care of her gardens, providing access to the priesthood, etc. Four months ago, he returned from his mission. He was greeted in the airport by his parents, his brother and sister, two friends, and me. Once the hugs and tears were finished, he asked me if I could take him to see this elderly sister, who he knew was in hospital again, so off we went to pay her a visit. There he held her frail hands and prayed for her. I thought that was one of the nicest 'welcome homes' I'd ever seen.

[omni]

Apparently I'm in the minority here, but I don't have a problem with the big welcome home celebrations. Stepping off the plane and seeing all my family waiting and cheering was one of the greatest and most surreal moments of my life.

I travel fairly often for work and it's common for me to see families waiting for their missionaries near the baggage claim. I'll often wait around a few extra minutes after I pick up my luggage just to witness the excitement and tears of joy from the missionaries and their families. Sometimes this old emotionless critic even struggles to hold back a few tears of his own...must be allergic to luggage.

[Calm]

Stepping off the plane and seeing all my family waiting and cheering was one of the greatest and most surreal moments of my life. 

 

A large group is one thing, even filming it for other friends and relatives to share I can appreciate it.

 

Staging it, putting in planned touches to up the drama, then posting it on Youtube or whatever in public turns it into something one is doing for recognition, not just the experience itself.

 

Even that I am not that against if it is enjoyed by all though I think it can detract from the Spirit…it is the competitive nature of some to make it bigger and better or the placing the desire to gain attention first and foremost such as the example of the missionary who held back, came down a separate stairway so he could be alone and then repeated it when it didn't get filmed or something iirc.

Edited December 20, 2014 by calmoriah

[toon]

To each their own.

 

When I returned from my mission, my mom, dad and brother were there to pick me up.  No signs or cowbells.  They were the ones I wanted to see first.

 

But some people are different.  So what?

[toon]

But so what? The airport, ball field, and other welcome home spaces are public areas. Why can't we just let every family decide what they think is best?  I'd rather others not pick apart my welcome (as being either too much or too little). 

 

This.

[omni]

I agree, staging things for dramatic purposes is too much. However as long as the family are respectful to the travelers and provide plenty of space, I have no problem with large crowds.

[Scott Lloyd]

The soldier is serving his community so I don't see as significant of an issue with the community making a big deal of his service, though I personally think that a more private homecoming would be more healing for the kids as they might feel distracted by the crowds or even worse embarassed by being the center of attention.  

 

Missionaries and couples though…I feel like that is looking for public recogntion of what should be a quiet covenant with the Lord even if it impacts the community.  The whole not doing alms in front of others, etc. concept.  I don't have a problem if the couple wishes to make a big deal of their wedding later, away from the temple, but I feel strange when I see the temple being used as a background to the event rather than being our focus.  The pictures are beautiful and call to mind a temple wedding which is what we want to teach and certainly the Church isn't shy about putting up tons of these types of pictures to promote and teach temple wedding as a goal…and I am not sure this is a bad thing.   Is there that much difference in the 'hassle' that surrounds taking a picture of the temple itself and taking a picture of a family in front of a temple? I may be just too antipomp myself.

I have felt for years that many of the wedding gatherings outside the temple -- the Salt Lake Temple in particular -- are far too boisterous. Given the sanctity of the location and the surroundings, the cheering and hooting that goes on when the couple emerges from the temple is inappropriate and irreverent. It is inconsiderate to others who have come to the temple expecting an ambiance conducive to a worshipful attitude. Assuming that a limited number of guests -- relatives and close friends -- are invited to see the couple at the temple for the wedding, I don't think it is too much to expect that the couple or the parents of the bride and groom caution invitees beforehand about appropriate behavior on the grounds of the temple.

 

But I have a hard time mustering any indignation about the behavior at the airport. I hold with Buckeye, omni and toon on this. It is a moment of emotion and great joy after a somewhat lengthy separation and a significant time in a young person's life. Some people by nature are more demonstrative than others. A public airport is far from being a sanctuary, and a missionary homecoming is not a worship service. Let them have their moment and record it for posterity.

Edited December 20, 2014 by Scott Lloyd

[cursor]

When I returned home from my mission (California East, Spanish speaking ... 1974), there was no one to greet me. My mom apparently got got caught in a snow storm at the point of the mountain (SLC). My dad didn't show because he was too busy at work (BYU). None of my eight brothers nor single sister bothered to show up. I sat there alone for three hours. Other missionaries with whom I'd traveled had all been picked up and were happily on their way with caring family. On the bright side ... it gave me plenty of time to review my lesson dialogues (en Español)..

Edited December 20, 2014 by cursor

[strappinglad]

When I returned home from my mission (California East, Spanish speaking ... 1974), there was no one to greet me. My mom apparently got got caught in a snow storm at the point of the mountain (SLC). My dad didn't show because he was too busy at work (BYU). None of my eight brothers nor single sister bothered to show up. I sat there alone for three hours. Other missionaries with whom I'd traveled had all been picked up and were happily on their way with caring family. On the bright side ... it gave me plenty of time to review my lesson dialogues (en Español)..

That's a little sad cursor. When I returned from Central America in December 1969, I was greeted by my parents and a howling blizzard. Talk about a shock to the system !

[Duncan]

I think this is a Utah problem, I was the only RM coming home at my local airport

[Yirgacheffe]

 

But I think putting on a welcome home spectacle, in public no less, totally misses the point.  It turns something deeply spiritual into something social at best.

 

What's so spiritual about picking someone up from the airport, you can't celebrate a child coming home after being gone for a year and a half or getting married without a bunch of tsk tsking, what a dour approach to life.

[Calm]

Technically the missionary is still a missionary and not released yet from his calling.  I can see why some might think it better to wait until that mantle has been set aside.

 

As far as the wedding goes, it is what happens on temple grounds that bothers me mostly; think of moneychanging…there are inappropriate behaviours that take away from the atmosphere of the temple even if they are just fine elsewhere…some of those lawns would be great fun to have a tag game on it….. we need to be careful we don't fall into them thoughtlessly ….take the loud and fun centered party away from a place that is supposed to be a refuge from the things of the world, not a portrait studio for them and I would feel much better about it.

Edited December 20, 2014 by calmoriah

[Garden Girl]

Imagine being a temple worker at a temple with a large, beautifully furnished anteroom with lots of chairs and couches where family and friends could gather before and after a wedding (due to our rainy weather)... some families were cognizant of the need to exercise reverence in the temple with "temple voices," etc etc.  And then there were the occasional families that would laugh loudly and talk as if in any regular room or public location...  it was my duty to keep things under control... when I would have a loud, boisterous group, we were taught to enlist the help of one or two adults in the group to help keep the reverence of the temple in their group.  I always did so with a smile and my best temple voice.  Only occasionally would someone try and ignore me... If I had difficulty after trying to nicely and gently remind the group, I was to call one of the senior workers.

I can understand that these are joyous occasions... and some family members hadn't seen each other in a long time, etc etc, maybe some weren't members... but... it's the temple and proper behavior should prevail... always... And this doesn't mean having to be stoddgy... but simply mindful of the need for reverence. 

 

GG

[Scott Lloyd]

Technically the missionary is still a missionary and not released yet from his calling.  I can see why some might think it better to wait until that mantle has been set aside.

 

As far as the wedding goes, it is what happens on temple grounds that bothers me mostly; think of moneychanging…there are inappropriate behaviours that take away from the atmosphere of the temple even if they are just fine elsewhere…some of those lawns would be great fun to have a tag game on it….. we need to be careful we don't fall into them thoughtlessly ….take the loud and fun centered party away from a place that is supposed to be a refuge from the things of the world, not a portrait studio for them and I would feel much better about it.

I'm actually OK with the picture taking. I think it can be done with appropriately restrained, even reverent, behavior.

 

What disturbs me is the rodeo-crowd or rock-concert type behavior I've observed on the grounds after some temple weddings -- the cheering and the hooting and the loud laughter. It really does make me recall the Savior's admonition: "My house is a house of order ... and not a house of confusion."

 

As for the airport scenes, well, I've not noticed the kind of over-the-top spectacle described in the op-ed piece. Which makes me think such a thing is still something of an anomaly. Either that, or the writer is oversensitive and exaggerating what he observed. (What really bothers me when the Tribune runs a piece like this is the snarky and hateful "reader comments" it engenders against the Church of Jesus Christ and its members.)

 

I'm Facebook friends with David Bokovoy. I've just noticed on his Facebook page pictures of the airport scene as he and his family welcomed his beloved daughter home from her mission. There were homemade placards and happy faces. But I didn't see anything I would deem to be out of keeping with the dignity of the calling of a missionary. I think that is still the typical circumstance and the scene described in the op-ed piece the exception.

Edited December 20, 2014 by Scott Lloyd

[katherine the great]

This is an interesting thread.  I was basically accused of being selfish when I insisted that only family be at the airport to pick up my son from his mission, but I stuck to my guns.  If my son had asked that other people be there, I would have reconsidered, but he actually requested only me there-not even his dad or siblings.  It just seems so odd as no one would have dreamed to come to the airport other than my family 30 years ago when I arrived home from my mission.  There was no party, no open house, just a sacrament meeting talk and I don't feel that I missed out on anything--it all felt appropriate.  I don't begrudge those who choose to make the homecoming a spectacle, but when did a private arrival become selfish?  It just seems a little extreme to me.

[Yirgacheffe]

This is an interesting thread.  I was basically accused of being selfish when I insisted that only family be at the airport to pick up my son from his mission, but I stuck to my guns.  If my son had asked that other people be there, I would have reconsidered, but he actually requested only me there-not even his dad or siblings.  It just seems so odd as no one would have dreamed to come to the airport other than my family 30 years ago when I arrived home from my mission.  There was no party, no open house, just a sacrament meeting talk and I don't feel that I missed out on anything--it all felt appropriate.  I don't begrudge those who choose to make the homecoming a spectacle, but when did a private arrival become selfish?  It just seems a little extreme to me.

You are accused of being selfish for a private homecoming, others are accused of being selfish for having a big celebratory homecoming.  I guess selfish is when a person decides what is appropriate for him or herself and someone else disagrees with it's appropriateness.

[The Nehor]

You are accused of being selfish for a private homecoming, others are accused of being selfish for having a big celebratory homecoming.  I guess selfish is when a person decides what is appropriate for him or herself and someone else disagrees with it's appropriateness.

 

We should just never let missionaries come home and then no one will be selfish.

[Hamba Tuhan]

We should just never let missionaries come home and then no one will be selfish.

 

Except maybe the missionary?