The Downside Of Cohabitation Before Marriage - Ny Times Article

[smac97]

Here:

Cohabitation in the United States has increased by more than 1,500 percent in the past half century. In 1960, about 450,000 unmarried couples lived together. Now the number is more than 7.5 million. The majority of young adults in their 20s will live with a romantic partner at least once, and more than half of all marriages will be preceded by cohabitation. This shift has been attributed to the sexual revolution and the availability of birth control, and in our current economy, sharing the bills makes cohabiting appealing. But when you talk to people in their 20s, you also hear about something else: cohabitation as prophylaxis.

In a nationwide survey conducted in 2001 by the National Marriage Project, then at Rutgers and now at the University of Virginia, nearly half of 20-somethings agreed with the statement, “You would only marry someone if he or she agreed to live together with you first, so that you could find out whether you really get along.” About two-thirds said they believed that moving in together before marriage was a good way to avoid divorce.

But that belief is contradicted by experience. Couples who cohabit before marriage (and especially before an engagement or an otherwise clear commitment) tend to be less satisfied with their marriages — and more likely to divorce — than couples who do not. These negative outcomes are called the cohabitation effect.

Researchers originally attributed the cohabitation effect to selection, or the idea that cohabitors were less conventional about marriage and thus more open to divorce. As cohabitation has become a norm, however, studies have shown that the effect is not entirely explained by individual characteristics like religion, education or politics. Research suggests that at least some of the risks may lie in cohabitation itself.

Read the whole thing. I am glad that observant Latter-day Saints can avoid these problems by living Gospel principles.

Thanks,

-Smac

[altersteve]

LDS doctrine bullseye.

(Joke, BTW.)

Edited April 17, 2012 by altersteve

[MorningStar]

One of my best friends says the biggest mistake she ever made was living with her husband before marriage. They lived together for almost 10 years while she waited for him to commit, which he finally did, but he got to have the best of both worlds. They are still together, but it's been a rough road.

[LDSToronto]

Interesting article; it would seem to support the notion that LDS gospel principles are a superior way to live life. What's more interesting is when LDS accept scientific or social research that support their viewpoint, while rejecting scientific or social research that refutes their viewpoint.

H.

[rodheadlee]

Interesting article; it would seem to support the notion that LDS gospel principles are a superior way to live life. What's more interesting is when LDS accept scientific or social research that support their viewpoint, while rejecting scientific or social research that refutes their viewpoint.

H.

That's not just an LDS phenomenon most people will stick to their guns when shown evidence to the contrary on whatever subject.

[Nofear]

A local Presbyterian pastor here asked the young people on facebook to please read the article. It's not just a Mormon thing*.

* Though, sociologically speaking, we Mormons are the most effective group at getting our young adults not to cohabitate before marriage.

[Bill “Papa” Lee]

Interesting article; it would seem to support the notion that LDS gospel principles are a superior way to live life.

H.

Marriage over living together and especially bringing children into the mix is superior.

[Bill “Papa” Lee]

Here:

Cohabitation in the United States has increased by more than 1,500 percent in the past half century. In 1960, about 450,000 unmarried couples lived together. Now the number is more than 7.5 million. The majority of young adults in their 20s will live with a romantic partner at least once, and more than half of all marriages will be preceded by cohabitation. This shift has been attributed to the sexual revolution and the availability of birth control, and in our current economy, sharing the bills makes cohabiting appealing. But when you talk to people in their 20s, you also hear about something else: cohabitation as prophylaxis.

In a nationwide survey conducted in 2001 by the National Marriage Project, then at Rutgers and now at the University of Virginia, nearly half of 20-somethings agreed with the statement, “You would only marry someone if he or she agreed to live together with you first, so that you could find out whether you really get along.” About two-thirds said they believed that moving in together before marriage was a good way to avoid divorce.

But that belief is contradicted by experience. Couples who cohabit before marriage (and especially before an engagement or an otherwise clear commitment) tend to be less satisfied with their marriages — and more likely to divorce — than couples who do not. These negative outcomes are called the cohabitation effect.

Researchers originally attributed the cohabitation effect to selection, or the idea that cohabitors were less conventional about marriage and thus more open to divorce. As cohabitation has become a norm, however, studies have shown that the effect is not entirely explained by individual characteristics like religion, education or politics. Research suggests that at least some of the risks may lie in cohabitation itself.

Read the whole thing. I am glad that observant Latter-day Saints can avoid these problems by living Gospel principles.

Thanks,

-Smac

Something that may add to your thread...

http://www.mormondialogue.org/topic/57503-more-kids-born-to-parents-livin-sicin-sin-according-to-news-report-it-is-due-to-bad-economy/

[blueadept]

Read the whole thing. I am glad that observant Latter-day Saints can avoid these problems by living Gospel principles.

Thanks,

-Smac

I would say that most Christian faiths have similar principles in living the Gospel.

That said, it still comes down to the individuals and how they choose/not choose to live their individual life. My brother has had two serious relationships where he cohabitated in both relationships. His current relationship is doing well. I wish I had half the success in either of my marriages.

IMO, getting a civil divorce is WAY TOO easy in our country. That has its pluses and minuses.

[Duncan]

Certaintly one of the plusses of living together prior to marriage is finding out they have this as their alarm clock. Finding that out you can proceed or not!

course I don't know anyone who would actually have that...(points two fingers at me)!

[cinepro]

* Though, sociologically speaking, we Mormons are the most effective group at getting our young adults not to cohabitate before marriage.

Really? More effective than the Amish and Hasidic Jews?

[Peppermint Patty]

Really? More effective than the Amish and Hasidic Jews?

I would dare say that Islam is probably much more effective than the LDS faith.

[mfbukowski]

I would say that most Christian faiths have similar principles in living the Gospel.

Not necessarily

...80 percent of unmarried evangelical young adults (18 to 29) said that they have had sex – slightly less than 88 percent of unmarried adults, according to the teen pregnancy prevention organization.

http://thinkprogress.org/politics/2011/09/29/331692/study-finds-huge-majority-of-young-evangelicals-have-pre-marital-sex-exposing-flaws-with-right-wing-attacks-on-sex-ed/?mobile=nc

[abdullah786]

Cohabitation without fornication? It's forbidden to have a girlfriend/boyfriend in the Bible I think this issue needs further consideration by any follower of Jesus son of Mary, peace be upon him. No premarital relations whatsoever.. Even socializing with the opposite gender needs to be eliminated. If you find a man or woman who is righteous and you are attracted to them you should approach their parents and make the proposal for marriage, if possible or anyone like brother or uncle or something.

There is no marriage that doesn't have the approval of the family according to the prophets, peace be unto them all.

We should be trying to get married as young as possible too, at the very least in my opinion if that even goes that far.

[abdullah786]

I would dare say that Islam is probably much more effective than the LDS faith.

Agreed.. It's a pretty basic observation.

[Calm]

We should be trying to get married as young as possible too.

Why? And what is the earliest age in your opinion that marriage should occur?

Edited April 18, 2012 by calmoriah

[mfbukowski]

I would dare say that Islam is probably much more effective than the LDS faith.

Indeed, fear of death is a strong motivator.

[why me]

I think that it has been common knowledge for quite some time that couples who cohibitated before marriage are more likely to divorce. One reason for this is the change in circumstances tend to change the people involved. The marriage certificate becomes a mental block. Plus, for the new married couple, they need to get used to the fact that they are married with marriage expectations which could be different when they cohabitated.

And I think that the longer the cohabitation the more likely of a divorced.

[Calm]

Indeed, fear of death is a strong motivator.

It is however possible that is not the primary motivator for chastity among the vast majority of Muslims.

[mfbukowski]

It is however possible that is not the primary motivator for chastity among the vast majority of Muslims.

Of course it is possible technically. Yet it is a way of life where examples like that are common. Examples of harsh penalties for infractions are detailed in the culture as a way of life.

Perhaps that is what God wants, but I think not.

On another thread, there was a discussion about the death penalty for apostasy, for which the defense was "it hardly ever happens".

That is the whole point. A random reinforcement schedule is the most powerful way to condition behavior.

Edited April 18, 2012 by mfbukowski

[Calm]

A random reinforcement schedule is the most powerful way to condition behavior.

LOL, you are taking me back to my college days with all those pecking little chicks.

[mfbukowski]

LOL, you are taking me back to my college days with all those pecking little chicks.

I know- that proves my memory is not totally gone after all.

Yet.

[WalkerW]

The social science on marriage and two-parent families is pretty instructive in my view:

James Q. Wilson, The Marriage Problem: How Our Culture Has Weakened Families (HarperCollins, 2002).

Mitch Pearlstein, From Family Collapse to America's Decline: The Educational, Economic, and Social Costs of Family Fragmentation (Rowman & Littlefield Education, 2011).

Linda J. Waite, Maggie Gallagher, The Case for Marriage: Why Married People Are Happier, Healthier, and Better Off Financially (Doubleday, 2000).