How do you manage the rules?

[Dario_M]

2 minutes ago, SeekingUnderstanding said:

Hey Dario. I get the feeling you don’t like me. That’s ok. Please know that the feeling is not mutual. There is an amount of rawness and honesty that comes out in your posts, even when I strongly disagree with your characterizations, and reasoning. I hope you continue to post here. And if it makes you feel better, I’ve been downvoted WAY more times than you. 

I'm sorry that i was such a jerk as well. 🫂

[manol]

2 hours ago, Dario_M said:

I get really upset really fastly. And i can't help that. Every bummer makes me upset. 

Maybe this is none of my business, but...

Dario you have AWARENESS and you are HONEST and you have a GOOD HEART.  Perhaps this issue has come up for you at this time to offer you the opportunity to make progress towards YOU having power over bummers, so they no longer have as much power to make you upset.

You could ask God to help you with this, and then PAY ATTENTION to wisdom and insights that show up for you.  God is on your side in this! 

This is also none of my business...

Ime it takes at least two weeks of consistent, persistent effort to shift one's "default setting".  So maybe consider postponing your request to be put on "limited" status until you have given it your best shot for two weeks. 

And this is just me being selfish:  If you were put on "limited" status, I would miss the threads you start.  

Edited November 10, 2024 by manol

[Tacenda]

3 hours ago, manol said:

Maybe this is none of my business, but...

Dario you have AWARENESS and you are HONEST and you have a GOOD HEART.  Perhaps this issue has come up for you at this time to offer you the opportunity to make progress towards YOU having power over bummers, so they no longer have as much power to make you upset.

You could ask God to help you with this, and then PAY ATTENTION to wisdom and insights that show up for you.  God is on your side in this! 

This is also none of my business...

Ime it takes at least two weeks of consistent, persistent effort to shift one's "default setting".  So maybe consider postponing your request to be put on "limited" status until you have given it your best shot for two weeks. 

And this is just me being selfish:  If you were put on "limited" status, I would miss the threads you start.  

Good point, his threads have had a lot of discussion.

[Dario_M]

4 hours ago, manol said:

Maybe this is none of my business, but...

Dario you have AWARENESS and you are HONEST and you have a GOOD HEART.  Perhaps this issue has come up for you at this time to offer you the opportunity to make progress towards YOU having power over bummers, so they no longer have as much power to make you upset.

Ya. But i need some help with it. If nemesis would put me on limited i wouldn't be so negatively triggerd everytime Raingirl drops a dowvote it just makes me upset. 

4 hours ago, manol said:

You could ask God to help you with this, and then PAY ATTENTION to wisdom and insights that show up for you.  God is on your side in this! 

This is also none of my business...

Ime it takes at least two weeks of consistent, persistent effort to shift one's "default setting".  So maybe consider postponing your request to be put on "limited" status until you have given it your best shot for two weeks. 

I've allready asked for limited use. Nemesis or whoever should allready have read it by now and hopfully he will put me on limited. 

4 hours ago, manol said:

And this is just me being selfish:  If you were put on "limited" status, I would miss the threads you start.  

Sure... you never react that much on my posts. There is nothing special in my post. On the end of the day there is not much quality in it. And it only seems to attract negative criticism. 

[Dario_M]

1 hour ago, Tacenda said:

Good point, his threads have had a lot of discussion.

Thank you tacenda that's so sweet of you to say. 🫂

[Dario_M]

My boyfriend is still angry at me. Life sucks really badly. I wish i was death. Maybe i should pray for that desire. 

[Calm]

31 minutes ago, Dario_M said:

Nemesis or whoever should allready have read it by now and hopfully he will put me on limited. 

Not necessarily. As far as I can tell, Nemesis is not online all the time and on occasion it can be several days before he is able to respond to reports. Though I was surprised how quickly they came earlier this week, so perhaps it will happen sooner than later.   

[Calm]

44 minutes ago, Dario_M said:

My boyfriend is still angry at me. Life sucks really badly. I wish i was death. Maybe i should pray for that desire. 

You are on a waiting list for psychotherapy, correct?  
 

Just want to be sure since there is nothing I likely can do long distance for you other than listen and to be frank, I am not sure it is helpful to talk about those feelings in this way. Sometimes it can make those feelings stronger as if unresolved, one may feel more hopeless.  Talking to someone face to face, someone who can work with you, who is trained to do so, maybe even someone who can eventually help you feel things are changing rather than stuck in a hopeless rut…that is most likely to help if you are ready for it.

I know that doesn’t help much when you have to wait so long to be seen.

Please, instead of praying for death, try praying for peace in the way God wants you to have it.   Turn it over to him rather than telling him what you want. He knows you better than you know yourself. It’s worked for me, hopefully it can work for you. 
 

Maybe also pray for help in understanding your boyfriend too.

I am trying to get to sleep early tonight, so I may not be back.  I hope you feel more in control of your life soon.

Edited November 10, 2024 by Calm

[Dario_M]

12 minutes ago, Calm said:

Not necessarily. As far as I can tell, Nemesis is not online all the time and on occasion it can be several days before he is able to respond to reports. Though I was surprised how quickly they came earlier this week, so perhaps it will happen sooner than later.   

I hope. But it is weekend now so that is maybe the reason that he hasn't been online yet. 

[Dario_M]

5 minutes ago, Calm said:

You are on a waiting list for psychotherapy, correct?  

 

Yeah i am. Btw... my boyfriend was just awake for a moment. And he petted my leg. So i don't think he is angry anymore. 

5 minutes ago, Calm said:

Just want to be sure since there is nothing I likely can do long distance for you other than listen and to be frank,

I'm not gonna do anything to myself. It's just...that yesterday i had a really rough day. And on those moments i get so desperate. Btw...i need to wait 2 more months bevore i (maybe) get some help. I got a whatsapp from a worker a few days ago with the message. 

5 minutes ago, Calm said:

I am not sure it is helpful to talk about those feelings in this way. Sometimes it can make those feelings stronger as if unresolved, one may feel more hopeless.  Talking to someone face to face, someone who can work with you, who is trained to do so, maybe even someone who can eventually help you feel things are changing rather than stuck in a hopeless rut…that is most likely to help if you are ready for it.

Yeah i believe so as well. I really wanna talk with somebody. Offcourse i can talk with my boyfriend but he doesn't always understands me nor wants to listen to me all the time. He is a really clossed type. He never talks about his own feelings. So to listen to somebody else his feelings is difficult for him. 

5 minutes ago, Calm said:

Please, instead of praying for death, try praying for peace in the way God wants you to have it.   Turn it over to him rather than telling him what you want. He knows you better than you know yourself. It’s worked for me, hopefully it can work for you. 
 

I will try. 

5 minutes ago, Calm said:

Maybe also pray for help in understanding your boyfriend too.

Yeah. This is the reason why i left him in the past and went abroad. He was worse then he is now. He has changed a lot. But still have these difficult character traits. 

[Tacenda]

9 hours ago, Dario_M said:

Yeah i am. Btw... my boyfriend was just awake for a moment. And he petted my leg. So i don't think he is angry anymore. 

I'm not gonna do anything to myself. It's just...that yesterday i had a really rough day. And on those moments i get so desperate. Btw...i need to wait 2 more months bevore i (maybe) get some help. I got a whatsapp from a worker a few days ago with the message. 

Yeah i believe so as well. I really wanna talk with somebody. Offcourse i can talk with my boyfriend but he doesn't always understands me nor wants to listen to me all the time. He is a really clossed type. He never talks about his own feelings. So to listen to somebody else his feelings is difficult for him. 

I will try. 

Yeah. This is the reason why i left him in the past and went abroad. He was worse then he is now. He has changed a lot. But still have these difficult character traits. 

Okay, this might be too much info...but for some crazy reason and maybe because I don't want to live with Alzheimer's aka dementia because in my head I think I'm going to get it. When I cross the railroad, in my head I think...go ahead train. That's crazy right? So I think you're not alone in your thoughts, many out there think they want to end it. But if we just hold on one more day, we will have those beautiful days in life along with not so beautiful or happy days. I guess if we don't have the bad, we wouldn't appreciate the good or happy as much. 

One day at a time, and stop and smell the roses, appreciate the finite of life. 

[Dario_M]

1 hour ago, Tacenda said:

Okay, this might be too much info...

Ya...was that TMI?😇

1 hour ago, Tacenda said:

but for some crazy reason and maybe because I don't want to live with Alzheimer's aka dementia because in my head I think I'm going to get it. When I cross the railroad, in my head I think...go ahead train. That's crazy right? So I think you're not alone in your thoughts, many out there think they want to end it. But if we just hold on one more day, we will have those beautiful days in life along with not so beautiful or happy days. I guess if we don't have the bad, we wouldn't appreciate the good or happy as much. 

Yes true and i believe that that is the reason we are on earth. For the whole experience. Problem in my life is that there is way to much not so beautiful days. And way to less beautiful.....moments. And then the depression is just around the corner. Taking your life. 

1 hour ago, Tacenda said:

One day at a time, and stop and smell the roses, appreciate the finite of life. 

Yeah that's true indeed. 🌹🌹🌹

Edited November 10, 2024 by Dario_M

[Dario_M]

Well.. we are now a few days further and i'm still not on Limited. I'm afrait that the mods have denied my request. I haven't heard anything from them as well. I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little bit disappointed. For me the Limited status felt like the best solution. Well...that's life. 

[california boy]

7 hours ago, Dario_M said:

Well.. we are now a few days further and i'm still not on Limited. I'm afrait that the mods have denied my request. I haven't heard anything from them as well. I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little bit disappointed. For me the Limited status felt like the best solution. Well...that's life. 

I am curious why you can't put yourself on Limited?  Just don't start any threads and don't do up or down votes on any posts.  The only thing missing is that people can upvote or downvote your posts.  Even that, you don't have to look at who responded to your posts.  

I think there are a lot of us who have stepped back from this board from time to time.  I know I have taken a break from writing any posts from time to time and just listened to what others are saying without feeling the need to comment.  I have become very selective in what I comment on and only then will I comment when I believe my point of view is helpful for the conversation.  I think I am not alone in this approach.

[JVW]

I think @Dario_M just needs downvotes from everyone until he stops caring about whether or not he's downvoted, to help him develop a thicker skin.

[Dario_M]

31 minutes ago, california boy said:

I am curious why you can't put yourself on Limited?  Just don't start any threads and don't do up or down votes on any posts.  The only thing missing is that people can upvote or downvote your posts.  Even that, you don't have to look at who responded to your posts.  

You mean that i need to take a break? I have allready taken a long break because i went homeless and after that spend 3 months in Hospital.  

31 minutes ago, california boy said:

I think there are a lot of us who have stepped back from this board from time to time.  I know I have taken a break from writing any posts from time to time and just listened to what others are saying without feeling the need to comment.  I have become very selective in what I comment on and only then will I comment when I believe my point of view is helpful for the conversation.  I think I am not alone in this approach.

On this moment i don't wanna take a break. 

[Dario_M]

14 minutes ago, JVW said:

I think @Dario_M just needs downvotes from everyone until he stops caring about whether or not he's downvoted, to help him develop a thicker skin.

🤣

[Calm]

22 minutes ago, JVW said:

I think @Dario_M just needs downvotes from everyone until he stops caring about whether or not he's downvoted, to help him develop a thicker skin.

Red can be an attractive color.  

Red and green together is so festive….

Edited November 12, 2024 by Calm

[Rain]

24 minutes ago, Dario_M said:

You mean that i need to take a break? I have allready taken a long break because i went homeless and after that spend 3 months in Hospital.  

On this moment i don't wanna take a break. 

No, he is saying you have a choice.  You can visit the board without starting threads. You can visit the board without upvoting or downvoting. I know sometimes things like this can be really hard, but you do have a choice. 

The important thing is to really look at yourself and figure out what choices are good for you. Then decided if that is what you will do. Seeing that things like this are your choice make you stronger.

Edited November 12, 2024 by Rain

[JVW]

2 minutes ago, Calm said:

Red can be an attractive color.  

Red and green together is so festive….

'Tis the season! I understand in the Philippines Christmas season starts Sept. 1st. In my house it's Nov. 1st. Let the Red and Green pepper this message board in the true holiday spirit!

[Calm]

Serious suggestion….if the red of the downvote catches your eye too much to avoid it, you could go into your profile and add some red so there is always red at the bottom of your posts, which might help in ignoring the downvotes.

I added an apple to my signature to demonstrate. It’s so tiny because I made the print tiny to fit everything into a small space so it’s not annoyingly taking up half the screen.  

If you don’t see signatures, that means you have the hide signatures options set in your account settings.  If you want to see or not see signatures or add or change the signature itself and you have forgotten how or never knew how, go into your account settings (click on the same thing that takes you to your profile) and click on the bottom option in the menu (it is obviously labeled “signature”).  Once you get there, it’s pretty obvious what you need to do, so won’t add more instructions.

Someone needs to let me know if my small print signature can even be read decently.  I can if I get close to the screen, lol.

Edited November 12, 2024 by Calm

[Rain]

13 minutes ago, JVW said:

'Tis the season! I understand in the Philippines Christmas season starts Sept. 1st. In my house it's Nov. 1st. Let the Red and Green pepper this message board in the true holiday spirit!

No green peppers!  Ick!

[Peacefully]

7 minutes ago, Calm said:

Serious suggestion….if the red of the downvote catches your eye too much to avoid it, you could go into your profile and add some red so there is always red at the bottom of your posts, which might help in ignoring the downvotes.

I added an apple to my signature to demonstrate. It’s so tiny because I made the print tiny to fit everything into a small space so it’s not annoyingly taking up half the screen.  
 

Someone needs to let me know if my signature can even be read decently.  I can if I get close to the screen, lol.

I don’t see a signature. Do I have to go into your profile? 

[Rain]

8 minutes ago, Calm said:

Serious suggestion….if the red of the downvote catches your eye too much to avoid it, you could go into your profile and add some red so there is always red at the bottom of your posts, which might help in ignoring the downvotes.

I added an apple to my signature to demonstrate. It’s so tiny because I made the print tiny to fit everything into a small space so it’s not annoyingly taking up half the screen.  
 

Someone needs to let me know if my signature can even be read decently.  I can if I get close to the screen, lol.

Only works if signatures are turned on.  I know you know, but Dario might not.  I turned mine off a long time ago.

[Dario_M]

19 minutes ago, Rain said:

No, he is saying you have a choice.  You can visit the board without starting threads. You can visit the board without upvoting or downvoting. I know sometimes things like this can be really hard, but you do have a choice. 

Yeah that's true.

19 minutes ago, Rain said:

The important thing is to really look at yourself and figure out what choices are good for you. Then decided if that is what you will do. Seeing that things like this are your choice make you stronger.

I'm not sure about that. But making good choices is def important. Also in real life as well. I've figured that out big time.