USU78 Posted February 4, 2019 Posted February 4, 2019 My oldest is a photographer. She has her own business shooting weddings and graduations and the like. This last weekend she was asked to do an adoption. She just sent me a few of the shots, including some of the fifteen year old birth mother. Such a sad thing to see that little girl's obvious love for the child, knowing she was walking away forever shortly after the shots were taken. Juxtapose that with the adopters' elation after the wait and serial disappointments. If G-d is anywhere, He's right there with those four broken, hopeful lives. So why isn't that outcome everybody's preferred outcome? 2
pogi Posted February 4, 2019 Posted February 4, 2019 That is a powerful juxtaposition you paint. Such an emotional event for all involved. 46 minutes ago, USU78 said: So why isn't that outcome everybody's preferred outcome? Are you asking why adoption isn't always preferred to abortion? Just clarifying.
JAHS Posted February 4, 2019 Posted February 4, 2019 54 minutes ago, USU78 said: So why isn't that outcome everybody's preferred outcome? The preferred outcome is to not have to make a choice on what to do in the first place. There are consequences to such mistakes which require hard choices that aren't always happy ones. 1
MustardSeed Posted February 4, 2019 Posted February 4, 2019 59 minutes ago, USU78 said: My oldest is a photographer. She has her own business shooting weddings and graduations and the like. This last weekend she was asked to do an adoption. She just sent me a few of the shots, including some of the fifteen year old birth mother. Such a sad thing to see that little girl's obvious love for the child, knowing she was walking away forever shortly after the shots were taken. Juxtapose that with the adopters' elation after the wait and serial disappointments. If G-d is anywhere, He's right there with those four broken, hopeful lives. So why isn't that outcome everybody's preferred outcome? Life is messy. ❤️ What a moving experience for your daughter. 4
Tacenda Posted February 5, 2019 Posted February 5, 2019 1 hour ago, USU78 said: My oldest is a photographer. She has her own business shooting weddings and graduations and the like. This last weekend she was asked to do an adoption. She just sent me a few of the shots, including some of the fifteen year old birth mother. Such a sad thing to see that little girl's obvious love for the child, knowing she was walking away forever shortly after the shots were taken. Juxtapose that with the adopters' elation after the wait and serial disappointments. If G-d is anywhere, He's right there with those four broken, hopeful lives. So why isn't that outcome everybody's preferred outcome? Fifteen is so very young!
Kenngo1969 Posted February 5, 2019 Posted February 5, 2019 https://www.cheriecall.com/albums/songs/stars/FamilyTree.html 2
Duncan Posted February 5, 2019 Posted February 5, 2019 I have some friends of a friend in Utah who are anxious to adopt, I felt heartsick when it almost happened but the mother to be backed out at the last minute. How they are now, I don't know but they had a blog.
katherine the great Posted February 5, 2019 Posted February 5, 2019 20 minutes ago, Duncan said: I have some friends of a friend in Utah who are anxious to adopt, I felt heartsick when it almost happened but the mother to be backed out at the last minute. How they are now, I don't know but they had a blog. This apparently happens a lot. So heartbreaking for the adoptive couple! 1
Duncan Posted February 5, 2019 Posted February 5, 2019 1 minute ago, katherine the great said: This apparently happens a lot. So heartbreaking for the adoptive couple! I felt awful!!!! I hope they can get another chance for a child!
katherine the great Posted February 5, 2019 Posted February 5, 2019 1 minute ago, Duncan said: I felt awful!!!! I hope they can get another chance for a child! Me too!
Duncan Posted February 5, 2019 Posted February 5, 2019 4 minutes ago, katherine the great said: Me too! and they have a cute little video about themselves and ack, I hope it works out for them!
USU78 Posted February 5, 2019 Author Posted February 5, 2019 1 hour ago, Duncan said: I have some friends of a friend in Utah who are anxious to adopt, I felt heartsick when it almost happened but the mother to be backed out at the last minute. How they are now, I don't know but they had a blog. I've lived those disappointments, both personally and professionally. And there's a dawn following every night after every miserable day. Those empty arms'll get filled. 3
Jean-Luc Picard Posted February 5, 2019 Posted February 5, 2019 (edited) Our adoption photographer was the best. Our kiddos we're a little older when adopted, so a little different situation. The courthouse video/pictures were great. Lots of good memories, I hope your daughter has more opportunities to film happy moments. Edited February 5, 2019 by Jean-Luc Picard 2
cacheman Posted February 5, 2019 Posted February 5, 2019 12 hours ago, USU78 said: So why isn't that outcome everybody's preferred outcome? The story you posted is touching, and sounds likely that the decisions were in the best long-term interest of the child. However, every scenario is unique. My wife was an unwed pregnant 15 year old and gave birth to our son at 16. At this point in my life, I can't imagine not having him in our life. We were able to raise him in a stable two parent household, and I believe that this scenario turned out to be in his best interest. On the other hand, my sister was given up for adoption by her birth mother, and was subsequently adopted by my parents. I believe the decisions made by all parties in that scenario worked out in the interest if the child as well. I think that decisions regarding the future of their children are profoundly difficult for mothers to make. There is no real way of knowing outcomes in advance, but my hope is that these types of decisions are made thoughtfully, taking into account all the different factors, first and foremost being the child's best interests. 2
USU78 Posted February 5, 2019 Author Posted February 5, 2019 2 hours ago, cacheman said: The story you posted is touching, and sounds likely that the decisions were in the best long-term interest of the child. However, every scenario is unique. My wife was an unwed pregnant 15 year old and gave birth to our son at 16. At this point in my life, I can't imagine not having him in our life. We were able to raise him in a stable two parent household, and I believe that this scenario turned out to be in his best interest. On the other hand, my sister was given up for adoption by her birth mother, and was subsequently adopted by my parents. I believe the decisions made by all parties in that scenario worked out in the interest if the child as well. I think that decisions regarding the future of their children are profoundly difficult for mothers to make. There is no real way of knowing outcomes in advance, but my hope is that these types of decisions are made thoughtfully, taking into account all the different factors, first and foremost being the child's best interests. The big difference in the two stories? You. You manned up.
phaedrus ut Posted February 5, 2019 Posted February 5, 2019 I know quite a few people over the years who have put children up for adoption or been adoptive parents themselves. In my experience the situation that has brought the most joy for everyone involved was where the adoptive parents and the child could maintain contact with the biological parent(s). I've seen this communication happen though an intermediary with cards and pictures exchanged a couple times a year or where the families stay connected with direct contact and even semi regular visits. These are complex situations with many types of emotions on all sides. I admire both sides for making loving and selfless decisions to hopefully raise a child in a good home. The 2018 movie Instant Family was a pretty good show about the adoption and foster system that gave this old softy a few tears. Phaerdrus 2
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