Uncomfortable at church - any suggestions?

[hope_for_things]

I'm going to be somewhat personal and vulnerable in this thread and I'm hoping to tap into some wisdom from this diverse group.   

Over the past few years I've had some ups and downs with respect to active Sunday attendance.  My last stretch of activity I approached my Sundays with two goals.  1.  I wanted to have positive interactions with as many people as possible.  Getting myself outside my comfort zone, and having meaningful exchanges with people.  2.  I wanted to contribute to the discussions in Sunday School and Priesthood meetings with thoughtful comments that at times would provide an interesting alternative perspective or may introduce information that you don't typically hear in correlated Mormonism.  

In many ways everything was going great, I was having meaningful conversations with people, I made new friends and felt like my comments and perspectives that I shared were a net positive to the group. 

Yet over time I kept having this gnawing feeling that I wasn't doing this for the right reasons.  I began to increasingly feel like I was being disingenuous.  I've had this idea creep into my mind and I can't seem to shake it.  Who am I to feel like I should be teaching people information that isn't part of their correlated Mormon world view?   Why do I think that my alternative perspectives are wanted or needed?  Am I doing this for personal reasons, for personal satisfaction, for personal gratification?   Am I really helping the group, or is this a more selfish endeavor?  

Any suggestions on how to cope with these feelings?  Have any of you had similar feelings before?  

 

[bluebell]

Hmmmm...  Very interesting questions and probably something that we can all related it at different times and places in our lives.  I know I have struggled with the line between wanting to do good because it is good and wanting to do good because it makes you look good, for example.

I don't have any great answers but just wanted you to know that I can relate.   

[Storm Rider]

5 minutes ago, hope_for_things said:

I'm going to be somewhat personal and vulnerable in this thread and I'm hoping to tap into some wisdom from this diverse group.   

Over the past few years I've had some ups and downs with respect to active Sunday attendance.  My last stretch of activity I approached my Sundays with two goals.  1.  I wanted to have positive interactions with as many people as possible.  Getting myself outside my comfort zone, and having meaningful exchanges with people.  2.  I wanted to contribute to the discussions in Sunday School and Priesthood meetings with thoughtful comments that at times would provide an interesting alternative perspective or may introduce information that you don't typically hear in correlated Mormonism.  

In many ways everything was going great, I was having meaningful conversations with people, I made new friends and felt like my comments and perspectives that I shared were a net positive to the group. 

Yet over time I kept having this gnawing feeling that I wasn't doing this for the right reasons.  I began to increasingly feel like I was being disingenuous.  I've had this idea creep into my mind and I can't seem to shake it.  Who am I to feel like I should be teaching people information that isn't part of their correlated Mormon world view?   Why do I think that my alternative perspectives are wanted or needed?  Am I doing this for personal reasons, for personal satisfaction, for personal gratification?   Am I really helping the group, or is this a more selfish endeavor?  

Any suggestions on how to cope with these feelings?  Have any of you had similar feelings before?  

I appreciate your honesty and your ability and desire to see yourself.  It is not easy to do often never even considered by the majority of humans.

When I attend church, which is almost every Sunday of the year, I go for several reasons.  I seek to renew my covenants with our Father in Heaven first and foremost.  Second I admit that I enjoy the social nature of church meetings and I am grateful to serve.  Lastly, I attend to learn something new from others.

From your stated reasons I found it strange that you felt the need to enlighten others or teach them about your way.  This seems a little off to me.  Yes, share your thoughts and questions with others, but do it simply to share.  The moment you set yourself up in a superior role of needing to teach these dunderheaded Mormons then you have opened the door to pride.  

You are one among many.  As a LDS seek to learn, to grow, to become more holy by striving to be a better disciple of Jesus Christ.  Understand that you have something to contribute and you have something to learn.  It is a different mindset, but one that I think will lead you to more happiness.

No, I have never had these feelings because I am a superior....NOT.  I am human and I am a sinner.  

[hope_for_things]

14 minutes ago, bluebell said:

Hmmmm...  Very interesting questions and probably something that we can all related it at different times and places in our lives.  I know I have struggled with the line between wanting to do good because it is good and wanting to do good because it makes you look good, for example.

I don't have any great answers but just wanted you to know that I can relate.   

Thanks bluebell.  I have struggled with that myself as well.  I think its a personality trait that I have where I'm frequently questioning my motives.  Overall, I think I'm a fairly decent and selfless person, but I have this tendency with my thoughts to question myself.   Appreciate knowing I'm not alone in this.  

[Eek!]

22 minutes ago, hope_for_things said:

I wanted to contribute to the discussions in Sunday School and Priesthood meetings with thoughtful comments that at times would provide an interesting alternative perspective or may introduce information that you don't typically hear in correlated Mormonism.  

For many years I did something like that, but in retrospect it was not the best way for me to make a beneficial contribution.

22 minutes ago, hope_for_things said:

Yet over time I kept having this gnawing feeling that I wasn't doing this for the right reasons.  I began to increasingly feel like I was being disingenuous.  I've had this idea creep into my mind and I can't seem to shake it.  Who am I to feel like I should be teaching people information that isn't part of their correlated Mormon world view?   Why do I think that my alternative perspectives are wanted or needed?  Am I doing this for personal reasons, for personal satisfaction, for personal gratification?   Am I really helping the group, or is this a more selfish endeavor?  

First off, I tip my virtual hat to you for your unflinching self-examination.   Okay, maybe you did flinch a little...  

Let me toss out an idea that may be useful: 

The proper use of religion would be, to lighten people's burdens. 

Edited May 4, 2018 by Eek!

[hope_for_things]

7 minutes ago, Storm Rider said:

I appreciate your honesty and your ability and desire to see yourself.  It is not easy to do often never even considered by the majority of humans.

When I attend church, which is almost every Sunday of the year, I go for several reasons.  I seek to renew my covenants with our Father in Heaven first and foremost.  Second I admit that I enjoy the social nature of church meetings and I am grateful to serve.  Lastly, I attend to learn something new from others.

From your stated reasons I found it strange that you felt the need to enlighten others or teach them about your way.  This seems a little off to me.  Yes, share your thoughts and questions with others, but do it simply to share.  The moment you set yourself up in a superior role of needing to teach these dunderheaded Mormons then you have opened the door to pride.  

You are one among many.  As a LDS seek to learn, to grow, to become more holy by striving to be a better disciple of Jesus Christ.  Understand that you have something to contribute and you have something to learn.  It is a different mindset, but one that I think will lead you to more happiness.

No, I have never had these feelings because I am a superior....NOT.  I am human and I am a sinner.  

Thanks, yes, I'm aware of the pride angle, and this is precisely why I'm questioning my motives.   I don't believe I'm superior to anyone from a moral or ethical perspective, quite the contrary, I feel like many people that I know are far better than I am on those important qualities, and I believe I have much to learn from them.  

At the same time, I know much about church history that the average Mormon doesn't know.  So sharing resources with them, like the church's essays, or JSP resources, or books and thoughtful essays, this is all information I've tried to share where I see opportunities.  

I think I agree with your assessment that I also have much to learn from them, yet for reasons that I have a hard time fully understanding within myself, I question whether I should be sharing what I have gained in the same way that I hope to gain from others.  

[hope_for_things]

12 minutes ago, Eek! said:

For many years I did something like that, but in retrospect it was not the best way for me to make a beneficial contribution.

First off, I tip my virtual hat to you for your unflinching self-examination.   Okay, maybe you did flinch a little...  

Let me toss out an idea that may be useful: 

The proper use of religion would be, to lighten people's burdens. 

Thanks Eek!  I agree that service to others including lightening their burdens should be one of the core values of the whole religious enterprise.  I've heard some people say that religion should "comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable."   I think it fits better in my personality to comfort the afflicted though, I'm just not as cut out for the other side of that proposition.  

[Eek!]

Just now, hope_for_things said:

 I've heard some people say that religion should "comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable."  I think it fits better in my personality to comfort the afflicted though, I'm just not as cut out for the other side of that proposition.  

"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle."  Plato said that, I added the italics.   

So I think you are in good company. 

[Jeanne]

I love you honesty and insight to your own self.  Do you think that maybe a part of attendance is because it is just easier..that is for family reasons?  I very much respect you.

[PacMan]

I say, very sincerely, that perhaps you have missed the point of Church.  It is not, and never has been, about sharing insights, educating, etc.  Those, perhaps, are side-benefits to Church activity.  The point of Church is, first, to renew one's covenants.  The second point, to use the recent vernacular, is to minister to others.  Focus on ministering to people's needs.  Ninety-nine out of one-hundred times, those needs will have very little to do with what is taught or shared in Sunday school.

[JAHS]

47 minutes ago, hope_for_things said:

Who am I to feel like I should be teaching people information that isn't part of their correlated Mormon world view?   Why do I think that my alternative perspectives are wanted or needed?  Am I doing this for personal reasons, for personal satisfaction, for personal gratification?   Am I really helping the group, or is this a more selfish endeavor?  

It's part selfish because you want to improve yourself, which is a good thing and there may be other that appreciate your input. I think as long as you are not preaching false doctrines there's no harm in expressing your opinions on things. Just remember what the Genie said: 

[CV75]

1 hour ago, hope_for_things said:

I'm going to be somewhat personal and vulnerable in this thread and I'm hoping to tap into some wisdom from this diverse group.   

Over the past few years I've had some ups and downs with respect to active Sunday attendance.  My last stretch of activity I approached my Sundays with two goals.  1.  I wanted to have positive interactions with as many people as possible.  Getting myself outside my comfort zone, and having meaningful exchanges with people.  2.  I wanted to contribute to the discussions in Sunday School and Priesthood meetings with thoughtful comments that at times would provide an interesting alternative perspective or may introduce information that you don't typically hear in correlated Mormonism.  

In many ways everything was going great, I was having meaningful conversations with people, I made new friends and felt like my comments and perspectives that I shared were a net positive to the group. 

Yet over time I kept having this gnawing feeling that I wasn't doing this for the right reasons.  I began to increasingly feel like I was being disingenuous.  I've had this idea creep into my mind and I can't seem to shake it.  Who am I to feel like I should be teaching people information that isn't part of their correlated Mormon world view?   Why do I think that my alternative perspectives are wanted or needed?  Am I doing this for personal reasons, for personal satisfaction, for personal gratification?   Am I really helping the group, or is this a more selfish endeavor?  

Any suggestions on how to cope with these feelings?  Have any of you had similar feelings before?  

I think it important to identify the feeling – you’ve mentioned a certain discomfort and kind of self-doubt connected with your motives and with treating others in a way that you might not like to be treated. Whenever I feel I’m being disingenuous, selfish, haughty or disrespectful toward others, I try to nurture feelings of charity, and that flavors my reasons for interacting with others, which in turn reshapes my “#2” strategies to achieve my “#1" goal (referring to the approach you shared). Of course that is not coping with the feelings, but changing them, which i suspect is what you are really trying to accomplish.  Good luck!

Edited May 4, 2018 by CV75

[RevTestament]

14 minutes ago, hope_for_things said:

I'm going to be somewhat personal and vulnerable in this thread and I'm hoping to tap into some wisdom from this diverse group.   

Over the past few years I've had some ups and downs with respect to active Sunday attendance.  My last stretch of activity I approached my Sundays with two goals.  1.  I wanted to have positive interactions with as many people as possible.  Getting myself outside my comfort zone, and having meaningful exchanges with people.  2.  I wanted to contribute to the discussions in Sunday School and Priesthood meetings with thoughtful comments that at times would provide an interesting alternative perspective or may introduce information that you don't typically hear in correlated Mormonism.  

If I were you, I would feel good about apparently being received reasonably well. When I venture past "correlated Mormonism" I have never really received any positive feedback. Even when I corrected a teacher about Moses not restoring the priesthood, but receiving it from Jethro, my teacher reacted negatively, and seemed to try to get the rest of the class to dismiss my comment. I don't believe I speak up for selfish reasons. I feel I have an interpretation of scriptures worthy of consideration and investigation - otherwise I would not speak up. I certainly have not gained any positive recognition for it, so it would be hard for me to say I have selfish reasons for doing it. I am not trying to lead people away. I love discussing the scriptures and the restored gospel. I just differ from "correlated Mormonism" in a lot of ways. To just sit there quietly, has always kind of irked me, but it seems I have basically been mostly resigned to that.

IMHO, the rise of correlated Mormonism has stymied the growth of the Church. It seems to me all of scripture has been formed into a neat Mormon box, and no one is willing to investigate outside that box. How do you grow outside the box then? Basically all the scriptures have been discussed in some GA talk, and therefore, it seems that in correlated Mormonism there is little room for alternate interpretations. I will give an example. In one of my home teaching visits years ago, I talked about Yeshua being the tree of life. The father mentioned that the BoM says the tree of life is the love of God. Long story short in home teaching reassignments I found I was no longer their home teacher. Doesn't scripture say God so loved the world that He sent His only begotten Son? Doesn't Yeshua say He is the root of David? Doesn't He say He is the vine tree and we are the branches? What is the tree of life in the Garden of Eden? Wasn't Adam to eventually find his way back to it? Who or what is the way? I think even Elder Holland talked about the Savior in reference to the tree of life. Rather than discussing these things though it seems I am often dissuaded from talking about them. Maybe my experience would be different if I lived elsewhere. I want to learn  and explore - not memorize. I guess that is what it boils down to. It seems there is not a whole lot of room for that in my Church meetings, when I seem to always be exploding with new discoveries and interpretations. So, I guess I am not helping you much here, but I certainly can relate to you. 

However, I am not saying that we should freely discuss all things outside correlated Mormonism. To the extent that you are having questions about what you are doing, have you considered that it is the spirit whispering to you to stop? Maybe what you are doing is not helping your group. I don't know that I would just assume that you should fight your feelings. Maybe they are telling you something. Maybe you should seek some feedback from your group rather than us. i generally do not talk about "issues." In other words I won't bring up questions about the November policy, Joseph's polygamy, etc. I try to keep my comments directed toward scriptural interpretation - new  archaeological discoveries, which may help to understand the scriptures, etc. For instance my most recent comment was on "scholars think Ramses II may have been the pharaoh of the exodus." and I pointed out that belief doesn't seem to correspond to the Biblical chronology, but seems solely geared towards his construction of Pi-Rameses. Nevertheless, it is against the suggestion of the lesson, so I am not asked to elaborate. However, I have never felt guilty for my comments. I feel I am correct even if they are not particularly received or don't seem particularly welcomed, so I can't say I have had your feelings. 

[Eek!]

It is not too hard to spot the people who have come to church needing to have their batteries recharged.  

I chose Eek! the cat as my online persona here in part because of his favorite catch-phrase:  "It never hurts to help!"  

(Of course when he says that the audience knows whatever comes next is definitely gonna hurt bigtime, but Eek! never seems to catch on.)

Edited May 4, 2018 by Eek!

[smac97]

1 hour ago, hope_for_things said:

I'm going to be somewhat personal and vulnerable in this thread and I'm hoping to tap into some wisdom from this diverse group.   

Over the past few years I've had some ups and downs with respect to active Sunday attendance.  My last stretch of activity I approached my Sundays with two goals.  1.  I wanted to have positive interactions with as many people as possible.  Getting myself outside my comfort zone, and having meaningful exchanges with people.  2.  I wanted to contribute to the discussions in Sunday School and Priesthood meetings with thoughtful comments that at times would provide an interesting alternative perspective or may introduce information that you don't typically hear in correlated Mormonism.  

In many ways everything was going great, I was having meaningful conversations with people, I made new friends and felt like my comments and perspectives that I shared were a net positive to the group. 

Yet over time I kept having this gnawing feeling that I wasn't doing this for the right reasons.  I began to increasingly feel like I was being disingenuous.  I've had this idea creep into my mind and I can't seem to shake it.  Who am I to feel like I should be teaching people information that isn't part of their correlated Mormon world view?   Why do I think that my alternative perspectives are wanted or needed?  Am I doing this for personal reasons, for personal satisfaction, for personal gratification?   Am I really helping the group, or is this a more selfish endeavor?  

Any suggestions on how to cope with these feelings?  Have any of you had similar feelings before?  

A few thoughts:

1. I can't speak as to your motives.  We've never met.  I don't think it's helpful for us to critique such things, since we would be speaking mostly from ignorance.

2. I'm not sure what you mean by going to Church to provide "comments that at times would provide an interesting alternative perspective or may introduce information that you don't typically hear in correlated Mormonism."  Mormons do have a spectrum of belief on many (most) issues, but that spectrum narrows a bit when it comes to lessons taught within the three-hour block.  That is sacred time.  It's time for the Saints to come together and consider the scriptures and messages from modern prophets and apostles.  And because people are all over the map in terms of their testimonies and spiritual journeys, their home lives, their jobs, and so on, I think most want to keep the three-hour block quiet, contemplative, solemn, harmonious, and so on.

In other words, I think most Mormons aren't going to be particularly comfortable or happy with people using the three-hour block to debate, to test doctrinal boundaries, to dispute important and established ("correlated") doctrines, to set themselves up as a voice of authority superior and alternative to that of the collective voice of the General Authorities of the Church, and so on.

3. I am reminded of a story I read some time ago about the "Speaker's Corner" in Hyde Park in London.  Here's a brief explanation of that place:

Quote

A Speakers' Corner is an area where open-air public speaking, debate, and discussion are allowed. The original and most noted is in the northeast corner of Hyde Parkin London, England. Historically there were a number of other areas designated as Speakers' Corners in other parks in London (e.g., Lincoln's Inn Fields, Finsbury Park, Clapham Common, Kennington Park, and Victoria Park). More recently, they have been set up in other British cities, and there are also Speakers' Corners in other countries.

Speakers' Corner is famous for being a raucous center of discussion and debate (see here for some examples).  I am glad that it exists.  I think venues for vigorous discussion and debate are, or can be, a good thing (this message board, for example).

However, the three-hour block is not the proper venue for such a thing.  In 2018, Mormons have all sorts of options for finding varied viewpoints and criticisms and disputes about their faith.  If a person wants to explore such things, they are at liberty to do so.  But there are a few times and places that are, or should be, off limits.  The three-hour block is a biggie.  Our temples.  Our conference sessions.  I don't think it's too much to ask that we be left to ourselves to determine the content and tone of these meetings, and to not let them be appropriated for argument, debate, criticism, etc.

Do you remember when Kate Kelly protested on Temple Square during General Conference?  That was, I think, a fairly serious blunder on her part.  She may well have been able to make further inroads into the Church but for her insistence on interfering with and disrupting and distracting from a sacred event in a sacred place.  Kelly turned off a lot of Mormons with that stunt.

Ecclesiastes 3 speaks of this concept well:

Quote

To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:
A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;
A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;
A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak.

Sunday services are, or should be, a respite.

4. I wish you well, and hope you continue to attend services.

Thanks,

-Smac

Edited May 4, 2018 by smac97

[hope_for_things]

42 minutes ago, Jeanne said:

I love you honesty and insight to your own self.  Do you think that maybe a part of attendance is because it is just easier..that is for family reasons?  I very much respect you.

Thanks Jeanne,

I think for some people attendance is easier for family reasons, and for others it is harder.  For me, I have some of both in my family and thats another complicating factor for sure.  Family is my top priority in life, so I often put the needs of them over my own.   

[carbon dioxide]

I avoid as much as possible to speak anything in class.  Most of the time I have little to contribute but even if might has something, better to say nothing.  It keeps me out of various kinds of trouble including callings. 

[hope_for_things]

40 minutes ago, PacMan said:

I say, very sincerely, that perhaps you have missed the point of Church.  It is not, and never has been, about sharing insights, educating, etc.  Those, perhaps, are side-benefits to Church activity.  The point of Church is, first, to renew one's covenants.  The second point, to use the recent vernacular, is to minister to others.  Focus on ministering to people's needs.  Ninety-nine out of one-hundred times, those needs will have very little to do with what is taught or shared in Sunday school.

Well, I don't look at the point of church the same way I used to, but I can appreciate and understand what you're saying.  Covenants are important and the way we align our personal commitments to ourselves and to God in the past was an important part of my Sunday experience.   I have found that for myself personally, I do a better job aligning my covenants/commitments to myself and God, through personal reflection and meditation outside of church.  

As for ministering, I did approach church from a perspective of trying to help, not trying to tear down.  I would say that most times that help was in the form of relationship building and connecting with others.  Sometimes this was accomplished through what I've shared in classes, so I don't know that I agree with you that ministering has very little to do with what is shared in class as I've found that to be an effective doorway into ministering from personal experience.  

[MiserereNobis]

49 minutes ago, PacMan said:

It is not, and never has been, about sharing insights, educating, etc.  Those, perhaps, are side-benefits to Church activity.  The point of Church is, first, to renew one's covenants.

In my experiences at LDS church the focus has been squarely on sharing insights and educating. In the 3 hour church service, sacrament/communion only lasts for 10-15 minutes. The rest of the time is filled with talking: sermons, lessons, etc. The point of those seems to be share insights and educate. So as far as time is concerned, 12% of LDS church meetings are for covenant renewal, and the rest is for teaching/learning.

[hope_for_things]

51 minutes ago, JAHS said:

It's part selfish because you want to improve yourself, which is a good thing and there may be other that appreciate your input. I think as long as you are not preaching false doctrines there's no harm in expressing your opinions on things. Just remember what the Genie said: 

I try to be respectful of others and only share things that have a tie into church endorsed materials.  However, I have encountered people who believe certain ideas are "false doctrine."  You can't please everyone all of the time.  I try to remember to share comments from my perspective, and not try to make authoritative claims.  

[hope_for_things]

48 minutes ago, CV75 said:

I think it important to identify the feeling – you’ve mentioned a certain discomfort and kind of self-doubt connected with your motives and with treating others in a way that you might not like to be treated. Whenever I feel I’m being disingenuous, selfish, haughty or disrespectful toward others, I try to nurture feelings of charity, and that flavors my reasons for interacting with others, which in turn reshapes my “#2” strategies to achieve my “#1" goal (referring to the approach you shared). Of course that is not coping with the feelings, but changing them, which i suspect is what you are really trying to accomplish.  Good luck!

Thanks, this is good advice.  In trying to psychoanalyze myself, I have to admit that there is a certain level of discomfort I still have in this new skin.   And pressing forward can be scary at times, especially because I'm not a natural extrovert.  Thanks for your encouragement and suggestions.  

[mfbukowski]

1 minute ago, MiserereNobis said:

In my experiences at LDS church the focus has been squarely on sharing insights and educating. In the 3 hour church service, sacrament/communion only lasts for 10-15 minutes. The rest of the time is filled with talking: sermons, lessons, etc. The point of those seems to be share insights and educate. So as far as time is concerned, 12% of LDS church meetings are for covenant renewal, and the rest is for teaching/learning.

Those few minutes though are considered the entire "purpose" of the three hour block, spiritually speaking.

So in a sense you are both "right". 

"Nobis quoque peccatoribus", we need even more than we get in the block!

[mfbukowski]

15 minutes ago, hope_for_things said:

Well, I don't look at the point of church the same way I used to, but I can appreciate and understand what you're saying.  Covenants are important and the way we align our personal commitments to ourselves and to God in the past was an important part of my Sunday experience.   I have found that for myself personally, I do a better job aligning my covenants/commitments to myself and God, through personal reflection and meditation outside of church.  

As for ministering, I did approach church from a perspective of trying to help, not trying to tear down.  I would say that most times that help was in the form of relationship building and connecting with others.  Sometimes this was accomplished through what I've shared in classes, so I don't know that I agree with you that ministering has very little to do with what is shared in class as I've found that to be an effective doorway into ministering from personal experience.  

Yep I would agree that "fellowshipping" or some word like that, is a prominent part.

Besides you can get your ministering done in the hallway! 

Oh wait- that was the old way!   Now we actually have to help people.  Dang! 

 

[smac97]

9 minutes ago, MiserereNobis said:

In my experiences at LDS church the focus has been squarely on sharing insights and educating. In the 3 hour church service, sacrament/communion only lasts for 10-15 minutes. The rest of the time is filled with talking: sermons, lessons, etc. The point of those seems to be share insights and educate. So as far as time is concerned, 12% of LDS church meetings are for covenant renewal, and the rest is for teaching/learning.

Yes, but oh, what an important 12% it is!

Baptismal services in the LDS Church usually take about an hour.  The ordinance itself, however, takes less than a minute.  And yet the principal purpose of the meeting is the ordinance.

A temple sealing takes 30-45 minutes (that's about how long everyone is in the sealing room).  The ordinance, however, takes about a 1-2 minutes.  

From D&C 59:

Quote

9 And that thou mayest more fully keep thyself unspotted from the world, thou shalt go to the house of prayer and offer up thy sacraments upon my holy day;

10 For verily this is a day appointed unto you to rest from your labors, and to pay thy devotions unto the Most High.

Thanks,

-Smac

[mfbukowski]

5 minutes ago, hope_for_things said:

Thanks, this is good advice.  In trying to psychoanalyze myself, I have to admit that there is a certain level of discomfort I still have in this new skin.   And pressing forward can be scary at times, especially because I'm not a natural extrovert.  Thanks for your encouragement and suggestions.  

I have found recently that truly trusting in God has been overlooked in my life- I am SO into intellectualizing everything every minute of the day.

I keep repeating "Faith-not fear" and "With God everything is possible", and TRULY believing that with all my heart.  It has helped me immeasurably!