associating with LDS wards

[poptart]

Hi,

 

Was curious how non members are treated if they visit somewhat regularly.  Is that even a thing?  I'm not really even that religious, but in the states about the only ones who really seem to care are the LDS wards.  Even a lot of Catholic Churches make me nervous, the priests are awesome but geez the parishoners are judgmental as hell, and the idea of frying in hell for suicide and mental illness disgusts me.

[Robert F. Smith]

20 minutes ago, poptart said:

...........................................................................   

Was curious how non members are treated if they visit somewhat regularly.  Is that even a thing?  I'm not really even that religious, but in the states about the only ones who really seem to care are the LDS wards.  Even a lot of Catholic Churches make me nervous, the priests are awesome but geez the parishoners are judgmental as hell, and the idea of frying in hell for suicide and mental illness disgusts me.

Probably depends on the local RC congregation.  I used to attend one in which the services were not only very nice, but the people there were warm and personable.

[Calm]

Much depends upon if you are associated with a member or on your own.  on your own, they may wonder more about why you are there and what you need and want to give (we need to get better at just asking, imo, though bishops have interviews with members who have just moved into their ward to get to know them...I assume this is official policy as it has happened in every ward I have been in save student wards with massive turnover, though in one of them, the branch president thought I was a nonmember due to a record error so after two months he asked to see me and asked if I wanted the missionaries to teach me).

And each ward has a different personality, some will quickly make you part of the ward family, some will treat you as a welcomed guest, and hopefully few...but they do unfortunately exist...will just ignore you unless you want the missionaries since they won't know what to do with you.

Technical stuff, they wouldn't have an official record of you since you are not attached to a family, but they probably would make a note of your continuing presence, see if you want the missionaries and possibly the bishop might have a talk with you asking what you see yourself doing in the ward as we tend to put everyone to work as we see people as happier if involved in a good cause.

If there are enough older singles in the ward, they might be holding Family Home Evenings and you would likely be invited to those (you are single, right?  Hopefully I have mixed you up with another poster) as well as other single events on top of the usual ward events.  You might need to asked to get put on whatever they use as the ward grapevine.  Our previous bishop had most announcements go out through .Relief Society and the Priesthood quorums, our current bishop sends an email on his own account.

Edited February 16, 2017 by Calm

[Jane_Doe]

9 hours ago, poptart said:

Was curious how non members are treated if they visit somewhat regularly.  Is that even a thing? 

Sure, I've known several.  Heck, I'm married to one.

9 hours ago, poptart said:

  I'm not really even that religious, but in the states about the only ones who really seem to care are the LDS wards.  

Well we do try to be friendly and Christ-like :).  Granted, some LDS folks can be judgmental or jerks too, hence the word *try*-- we are still all sinners.

9 hours ago, poptart said:

and the idea of frying in hell for suicide and mental illness disgusts me.

Not an LDS idea!!! No! 

To quote Apostle  M. Russell Ballard:  “Obviously, we do not know the full circumstances surrounding every suicide. Only the Lord knows all the details, and he it is who will judge our actions here on earth.  When he does judge us, I feel he will take all things into consideration: our genetic and chemical makeup, our mental state, our intellectual capacity, the teachings we have received, the traditions of our fathers, our health, and so forth” (“Suicide: Some Things We Know, and Some We Do Not,” Ensign, Oct. 1987, 8).

I recommend these resources on the subject:

 https://www.lds.org/topics/suicide?lang=eng&old=true

 https://www.lds.org/ensign/1987/10/suicide-some-things-we-know-and-some-we-do-not?lang=eng

 

 

[Garden Girl]

Be careful coming to my Lincoln City ward... we'll love you to death...

GG

[poptart]

On 2/16/2017 at 8:11 AM, Jane_Doe said:

Sure, I've known several.  Heck, I'm married to one.

Well we do try to be friendly and Christ-like :).  Granted, some LDS folks can be judgmental or jerks too, hence the word *try*-- we are still all sinners.

Not an LDS idea!!! No! 

To quote Apostle  M. Russell Ballard:  “Obviously, we do not know the full circumstances surrounding every suicide. Only the Lord knows all the details, and he it is who will judge our actions here on earth.  When he does judge us, I feel he will take all things into consideration: our genetic and chemical makeup, our mental state, our intellectual capacity, the teachings we have received, the traditions of our fathers, our health, and so forth” (“Suicide: Some Things We Know, and Some We Do Not,” Ensign, Oct. 1987, 8).

I recommend these resources on the subject:

 https://www.lds.org/topics/suicide?lang=eng&old=true

 https://www.lds.org/ensign/1987/10/suicide-some-things-we-know-and-some-we-do-not?lang=eng

 

 

You know, i've wondered if you get to go to heaven even if you commit suicide why not just blow your brains out?  Seriously its like the LDS faithful win one way or another and considering how horrible people in general are it really makes me wonder why suicide rates aren't higher.  Waaay back when christians would supposedly kill themselves because life was so awful and it was a shortcut to paradise.

[Jane_Doe]

6 minutes ago, poptart said:

You know, i've wondered if you get to go to heaven even if you commit suicide why not just blow your brains out?  Seriously its like the LDS faithful win one way or another and considering how horrible people in general are it really makes me wonder why suicide rates aren't higher.  Waaay back when christians would supposedly kill themselves because life was so awful and it was a shortcut to paradise.

Mentally healthy people don't contemplate shooting themselves....

[Garden Girl]

1 hour ago, Jane_Doe said:

Mentally healthy people don't contemplate shooting themselves....

Actually, some do... for years (during the time I was inactive) I had planned to kill myself one day when I was older because 1) I knew I would most likely be widowed and alone since my husband was older, 2) I had no children, 3) my family... sister and nephews...  live far away, 4) I feared ill health, particularly Alzheimer's.  The trick  was not to do it too soon and miss some good years... or not to do it too late that I might have stroke or heart attack that would leave me mentally/physically disabled.  Only I planned that I would not do anything messy that someone would have to clean up... rather, I planned to clean my house, get my hair done, put on a nice outfit, then take pills and just lie down and go to sleep never to waken.

Then I reactivated... and immediately sought the Church's position on suicide... and counseled with my bishop... So, my original plan to bow out on my own terms is... moot,,,  so here I am.  Widowed for 18 years... alone... in the waning years of my life (76)... but I have to "endure to the end" in faith... I can't tell you how this distresses me, and if I wasn't afraid of spiritual consequences, I'd end my life without batting an eye... as it is I have to simply go downhill either mentally or physically until I'm either dead or sitting in a home/wheelchair somewhere drooling down my chin and vulnerable to actions of staff, including the male orderlies who have been known to abuse older female patients... No, I'm mentally healthy, but I'd end my life...

GG

[Stargazer]

24 minutes ago, Garden Girl said:

Actually, some do... for years (during the time I was inactive) I had planned to kill myself one day when I was older because 1) I knew I would most likely be widowed and alone since my husband was older, 2) I had no children, 3) my family... sister and nephews...  live far away, 4) I feared ill health, particularly Alzheimer's.  The trick  was not to do it too soon and miss some good years... or not to do it too late that I might have stroke or heart attack that would leave me mentally/physically disabled.  Only I planned that I would not do anything messy that someone would have to clean up... rather, I planned to clean my house, get my hair done, put on a nice outfit, then take pills and just lie down and go to sleep never to waken.

Then I reactivated... and immediately sought the Church's position on suicide... and counseled with my bishop... So, my original plan to bow out on my own terms is... moot,,,  so here I am.  Widowed for 18 years... alone... in the waning years of my life (76)... but I have to "endure to the end" in faith... I can't tell you how this distresses me, and if I wasn't afraid of spiritual consequences, I'd end my life without batting an eye... as it is I have to simply go downhill either mentally or physically until I'm either dead or sitting in a home/wheelchair somewhere drooling down my chin and vulnerable to actions of staff, including the male orderlies who have been known to abuse older female patients... No, I'm mentally healthy, but I'd end my life...

GG

There's a purpose for your continuing here.  Whatever it is, it isn't just for the sake of living.  

What'eer though art, do well thy part.  Seek to serve, and live for others, while the Lord still requires it.  He will release you in His own good time.  

[Garden Girl]

2 hours ago, Stargazer said:

There's a purpose for your continuing here.  Whatever it is, it isn't just for the sake of living.  

What'eer though art, do well thy part.  Seek to serve, and live for others, while the Lord still requires it.  He will release you in His own good time.  

I know, Stargazer... I really do...

GG

[poptart]

8 hours ago, Garden Girl said:

Actually, some do... for years (during the time I was inactive) I had planned to kill myself one day when I was older because 1) I knew I would most likely be widowed and alone since my husband was older, 2) I had no children, 3) my family... sister and nephews...  live far away, 4) I feared ill health, particularly Alzheimer's.  The trick  was not to do it too soon and miss some good years... or not to do it too late that I might have stroke or heart attack that would leave me mentally/physically disabled.  Only I planned that I would not do anything messy that someone would have to clean up... rather, I planned to clean my house, get my hair done, put on a nice outfit, then take pills and just lie down and go to sleep never to waken.

Then I reactivated... and immediately sought the Church's position on suicide... and counseled with my bishop... So, my original plan to bow out on my own terms is... moot,,,  so here I am.  Widowed for 18 years... alone... in the waning years of my life (76)... but I have to "endure to the end" in faith... I can't tell you how this distresses me, and if I wasn't afraid of spiritual consequences, I'd end my life without batting an eye... as it is I have to simply go downhill either mentally or physically until I'm either dead or sitting in a home/wheelchair somewhere drooling down my chin and vulnerable to actions of staff, including the male orderlies who have been known to abuse older female patients... No, I'm mentally healthy, but I'd end my life...

GG

When i was desperate for employment i was a nurse aid for a while, americans are horrible to their elderly.  This is one reason why I have no sympathy towards the usa, they treat their children and elderly like trash.  Look at that protest they had after trump won, millions of homeless in the streets both young and old and they get ignored because they dont count.  

Im not convinced of the idea of the Christian god in a literal sense and i most certainly do not accept the contemporary judeo Christian model.   American rest homes are awful places, if i had to face spiritual consequences id slap whatever american version of diety people here believe in before im tossed into flames.

Just for fun, heres a good example of a religious rest home they have in Germany, they still care for their own.  Also for a secular society by American standards they sure act Christian in deed in many ways.  American society disgusts me so much sometimes. 

 

http://www.ordenswerke.de/

 

[Jane_Doe]

8 hours ago, Garden Girl said:

Actually, some do... for years (during the time I was inactive) I had planned to kill myself one day when I was older because 1) I knew I would most likely be widowed and alone since my husband was older, 2) I had no children, 3) my family... sister and nephews...  live far away, 4) I feared ill health, particularly Alzheimer's.  The trick  was not to do it too soon and miss some good years... or not to do it too late that I might have stroke or heart attack that would leave me mentally/physically disabled.  Only I planned that I would not do anything messy that someone would have to clean up... rather, I planned to clean my house, get my hair done, put on a nice outfit, then take pills and just lie down and go to sleep never to waken.

If this were you today, I would immediately consul going in for an evaluation for depression. 

8 hours ago, Garden Girl said:

Then I reactivated... and immediately sought the Church's position on suicide... and counseled with my bishop... So, my original plan to bow out on my own terms is... moot,,,  so here I am.  Widowed for 18 years... alone... in the waning years of my life (76)... but I have to "endure to the end" in faith... I can't tell you how this distresses me, and if I wasn't afraid of spiritual consequences, I'd end my life without batting an eye... as it is I have to simply go downhill either mentally or physically until I'm either dead or sitting in a home/wheelchair somewhere drooling down my chin and vulnerable to actions of staff, including the male orderlies who have been known to abuse older female patients... No, I'm mentally healthy, but I'd end my life...

And today I do recommend you going in for an evaluation.  

 

 

[Tacenda]

9 hours ago, Garden Girl said:

Actually, some do... for years (during the time I was inactive) I had planned to kill myself one day when I was older because 1) I knew I would most likely be widowed and alone since my husband was older, 2) I had no children, 3) my family... sister and nephews...  live far away, 4) I feared ill health, particularly Alzheimer's.  The trick  was not to do it too soon and miss some good years... or not to do it too late that I might have stroke or heart attack that would leave me mentally/physically disabled.  Only I planned that I would not do anything messy that someone would have to clean up... rather, I planned to clean my house, get my hair done, put on a nice outfit, then take pills and just lie down and go to sleep never to waken.

Then I reactivated... and immediately sought the Church's position on suicide... and counseled with my bishop... So, my original plan to bow out on my own terms is... moot,,,  so here I am.  Widowed for 18 years... alone... in the waning years of my life (76)... but I have to "endure to the end" in faith... I can't tell you how this distresses me, and if I wasn't afraid of spiritual consequences, I'd end my life without batting an eye... as it is I have to simply go downhill either mentally or physically until I'm either dead or sitting in a home/wheelchair somewhere drooling down my chin and vulnerable to actions of staff, including the male orderlies who have been known to abuse older female patients... No, I'm mentally healthy, but I'd end my life...

GG

You will be fine. It's me that needs to think on these things. I might need to move to Oregon, since it's legal there to have assistance.

After having met you GG, you are much younger than your years. And have a wonderful life from my standpoint. But I get how you were planning suicide, I do that, even at my age.  

I just see you not getting Alzheimer's. And living great years ahead.

[Jeanne]

9 hours ago, Garden Girl said:

Actually, some do... for years (during the time I was inactive) I had planned to kill myself one day when I was older because 1) I knew I would most likely be widowed and alone since my husband was older, 2) I had no children, 3) my family... sister and nephews...  live far away, 4) I feared ill health, particularly Alzheimer's.  The trick  was not to do it too soon and miss some good years... or not to do it too late that I might have stroke or heart attack that would leave me mentally/physically disabled.  Only I planned that I would not do anything messy that someone would have to clean up... rather, I planned to clean my house, get my hair done, put on a nice outfit, then take pills and just lie down and go to sleep never to waken.

Then I reactivated... and immediately sought the Church's position on suicide... and counseled with my bishop... So, my original plan to bow out on my own terms is... moot,,,  so here I am.  Widowed for 18 years... alone... in the waning years of my life (76)... but I have to "endure to the end" in faith... I can't tell you how this distresses me, and if I wasn't afraid of spiritual consequences, I'd end my life without batting an eye... as it is I have to simply go downhill either mentally or physically until I'm either dead or sitting in a home/wheelchair somewhere drooling down my chin and vulnerable to actions of staff, including the male orderlies who have been known to abuse older female patients... No, I'm mentally healthy, but I'd end my life...

GG

I have scars.

[Darin]

I think my ward is great

[Tacenda]

23 minutes ago, Jeanne said:

I have scars.

 I don't want to pry, just want to say sorry for the pain you've suffered.

[Garden Girl]

2 hours ago, Jane_Doe said:

If this were you today, I would immediately consul going in for an evaluation for depression. 

And today I do recommend you going in for an evaluation.  

 

Hello Jane... I'm really not depressed... but actually quite happy... my prayers this morning were filled with gratitude for my life.  I'm more at ease now with trusting in the Lord come what may as I age.. oh, I still fear Alzheimer's or some other form of dementia... but I have been able to resolve to simply trust in the Lord.  It's all I can do... so I face each day with my natural optimism.  Living alone affords me many quiet moments in prayer and contemplation... and that gives me an inner strength and faith to continue in the Gospel that I love... 

GG

 

1 hour ago, Tacenda said:

You will be fine. It's me that needs to think on these things. I might need to move to Oregon, since it's legal there to have assistance.

After having met you GG, you are much younger than your years. And have a wonderful life from my standpoint. But I get how you were planning suicide, I do that, even at my age.  

I just see you not getting Alzheimer's. And living great years ahead.

Hello Tacenda... Yes, I do have a wonderful life here on the beautiful Oregon coast.. a loving Heavenly Father has blessed me greatly, and has given me some incredible spiritual experiences and answers to prayer.  And this gives me the hope and faith I need to persevere in spite of any fears...  So Tacenda, I encourage you... always... to not lose your faith.  

As for me, so far so good...   Have a good day... blessings...

GG

[poptart]

On Sunday, February 19, 2017 at 8:43 PM, Jane_Doe said:

Mentally healthy people don't contemplate shooting themselves....

Im not exactly mentally healthy nor sane.

[Calm]

14 hours ago, Jane_Doe said:

If this were you today, I would immediately consul going in for an evaluation for depression. 

And today I do recommend you going in for an evaluation.  

 

 

How old are you, Jane?

Being practical about end of life and death doesn't mean you are depressed.  It is about the same thing as making one's will, including thinking how much medical intervention one wants, etc.

Now if one was obsessed about it...but nothing in what GG said indicates she is.  She knows what she might be facing and is preparing for it.  That is sensible.

Edited February 21, 2017 by Calm

[Calm]

On 2017-02-19 at 9:36 PM, poptart said:

You know, i've wondered if you get to go to heaven even if you commit suicide why not just blow your brains out?  Seriously its like the LDS faithful win one way or another and considering how horrible people in general are it really makes me wonder why suicide rates aren't higher.  Waaay back when christians would supposedly kill themselves because life was so awful and it was a shortcut to paradise.

There are plenty of LDS who have some fear of the afterlife, especially as they get older and get dementia.  One of my husband's grandmothers was afraid to die because she feared her husband, who had died quite young, would not recognize her.  Then one day she told her son his dad had visited her the night before looking just as she remembered, telling her he was waiting for her.  She was at peace then and died a few days later.  My mom has some dementia and at times uppermost in her mind is how they fought in the last few years (looking back, I think there were mental issues on both sides as Dad was taking way too much medication due to faulty prescribing that would have affected memory and personality).  Death is not appealing to her at those moments.  

Otoh, Dad had written in his estate orders that if Mom died first he was heading up to Oregon (no family there so it was obvious he was speaking of assisted suicide).  His dad died in absolute misery, reduced to a crying child because they were giving him all the wrong drugs that made his restless legs disorder pure hell (to relieve the feelings you need to move, the drugs not only made the sensations worse---things crawling on your body, being stabbed with needles, feeling like your muscles are going to snap on you, one person discribed it as feeling like his leg was hollow and a bottle brush was being shoved up and down it---but doped him up so he couldn't get up to relieve the symptoms.  Dad watched him fade away in a nursing home tied down in his bed so he wouldn't fall trying to get out and no way was that going to be him.  Dad had a very practical belief, I have little doubt he would have thought God was okay with it once he reached the point he didn't see himself as useful to anyone.  He wouldn't see it as not enduring to the end.

Mom told me eons ago she had learned, so I don't know if this is accurate as haven't been able to confirm it, that Elder Widtsoe had chosen to stop eating when he believed it was time.  It was time to put the body to rest apparently.  Back then she was figuring she might make the same choice when she believed her time came (she has come close to death a few times in her life including as a child).

Some members are horrified at the thought.  Others not so much.  I think a lot of members who have been ill for much of their lives have thought about it, whether or not the practicality of it allows for it, not being a burden to one's family and moving to the next stage rather than just existing, achieving nothing in this life (as many see being bedridden and semicoherent).

[Tacenda]

10 hours ago, Calm said:

There are plenty of LDS who have some fear of the afterlife, especially as they get older and get dementia.  One of my husband's grandmothers was afraid to die because she feared her husband, who had died quite young, would not recognize her.  Then one day she told her son his dad had visited her the night before looking just as she remembered, telling her he was waiting for her.  She was at peace then and died a few days later.  My mom has some dementia and at times uppermost in her mind is how they fought in the last few years (looking back, I think there were mental issues on both sides as Dad was taking way too much medication due to faulty prescribing that would have affected memory and personality).  Death is not appealing to her at those moments.  

Otoh, Dad had written in his estate orders that if Mom died first he was heading up to Oregon (no family there so it was obvious he was speaking of assisted suicide).  His dad died in absolute misery, reduced to a crying child because they were giving him all the wrong drugs that made his restless legs disorder pure hell (to relieve the feelings you need to move, the drugs not only made the sensations worse---things crawling on your body, being stabbed with needles, feeling like your muscles are going to snap on you, one person discribed it as feeling like his leg was hollow and a bottle brush was being shoved up and down it---but doped him up so he couldn't get up to relieve the symptoms.  Dad watched him fade away in a nursing home tied down in his bed so he wouldn't fall trying to get out and no way was that going to be him.  Dad had a very practical belief, I have little doubt he would have thought God was okay with it once he reached the point he didn't see himself as useful to anyone.  He wouldn't see it as not enduring to the end.

Mom told me eons ago she had learned, so I don't know if this is accurate as haven't been able to confirm it, that Elder Widtsoe had chosen to stop eating when he believed it was time.  It was time to put the body to rest apparently.  Back then she was figuring she might make the same choice when she believed her time came (she has come close to death a few times in her life including as a child).

Some members are horrified at the thought.  Others not so much.  I think a lot of members who have been ill for much of their lives have thought about it, whether or not the practicality of it allows for it, not being a burden to one's family and moving to the next stage rather than just existing, achieving nothing in this life (as many see being bedridden and semicoherent).

I'm so sorry for your grandfather and father, Calm. I've seen plenty of the elderly suffering. As you know, my mother had Alzheimer's at an early age. She showed signs in her early sixties and lived till 75. She was in 4 different care centers. First one, my dad felt the need to move mom near her hometown. So this was almost 3 hours away from her children. We were upset that he did this, but understood he wanted to live nearby his family. That was a mistake, she went downhill fast. We went to visit her and she was in diapers where she wasn't when she went in, and she was drugged and stooped over. We didn't recognize her. She was in what was a former school turned rest home. We luckily got to move her back closer to our homes. She was in a great facility but I feared for her safety. It was a co-ed Alzheimer's unit in a great Assisted Care facility but there were two residents that were violent. One was a woman that would go up to residents and hit them, or push them. And another was a huge man that I didn't trust near my mom. My mom, like me, couldn't sleep at night and would walk the halls. The care center discontinued the Alzheimer's unit and we had to move her to a different care center similar to the other one. But this one wasn't good because unbeknownst to us the flooring wasn't very even in the dining area, it was laminate wood floor, and my mom fell and broke her hip. She then had to go to a nursing home, because she needed more care. She never walked after hip surgery. This nursing home frustrated me because I'd visit her and she had slid down in her seat almost falling out. I'd find her in so many uncomfortable positions.  

Sorry this is so long, but I will always remember my dad saying they treat animals better and don't let them suffer, and he believed mom was suffering every day, I know she was. So like your dad, I wish to move to Oregon also if I get Alzheimer's. Also, my grandmother was in a care facility and often my mom and I would visit and she was tied to a chair. And in another room I witnessed a woman that lay in bed day in and day out waiting to die. 

[Garden Girl]

Tacenda and Calm... 

I'm sorry that your loved ones had to go through such experiences...

Tacenda... your mother's experience is exactly why I had planned on taking my life when I felt it was time, particularly if I started to get dementia.  Your mother was blessed to have children to look in on her... indeed, you found her several times in uncomfortable positions in her chair and could do something about it... I have no daughter or son who will look in on me... I do have an agreement with one of my nephews that we made recently... when I reach a point that I can no longer live alone, I will relocate near him and he will be the one to see  I'm in a decent facility.  But he is so busy I'll be lucky if he can visit once a week or so... Otherwise I'll just be at the mercy of whatever staff is available...

Sigh... GG

[Tacenda]

40 minutes ago, Garden Girl said:

Tacenda and Calm... 

I'm sorry that your loved ones had to go through such experiences...

Tacenda... your mother's experience is exactly why I had planned on taking my life when I felt it was time, particularly if I started to get dementia.  Your mother was blessed to have children to look in on her... indeed, you found her several times in uncomfortable positions in her chair and could do something about it... I have no daughter or son who will look in on me... I do have an agreement with one of my nephews that we made recently... when I reach a point that I can no longer live alone, I will relocate near him and he will be the one to see  I'm in a decent facility.  But he is so busy I'll be lucky if he can visit once a week or so... Otherwise I'll just be at the mercy of whatever staff is available...

Sigh... GG

I hear you GG! But meeting you and reading your posts, tells me you won't get dementia, I'm 99.99 % sure of it! :-) And sometimes children let you down. I'll bet you have many that would look in on you, knowing you!

[The Nehor]

On 2/19/2017 at 10:36 PM, poptart said:

You know, i've wondered if you get to go to heaven even if you commit suicide why not just blow your brains out?  Seriously its like the LDS faithful win one way or another and considering how horrible people in general are it really makes me wonder why suicide rates aren't higher.  Waaay back when christians would supposedly kill themselves because life was so awful and it was a shortcut to paradise.

Because suicide is a sin. That sin can be mitigated or pardoned completely due to problems with mental health, suffering, emotional problems, etc but killing yourself to get to heaven in a sober state is unlikely to work. Otherwise I might have already tried it.

On 2/20/2017 at 11:46 PM, poptart said:

Im not exactly mentally healthy nor sane.

Then do the best you can with what you have.

[Rain]

On Monday, February 20, 2017 at 8:42 AM, poptart said:

When i was desperate for employment i was a nurse aid for a while, americans are horrible to their elderly.  This is one reason why I have no sympathy towards the usa, they treat their children and elderly like trash.  Look at that protest they had after trump won, millions of homeless in the streets both young and old and they get ignored because they dont count.  

Im not convinced of the idea of the Christian god in a literal sense and i most certainly do not accept the contemporary judeo Christian model.   American rest homes are awful places, if i had to face spiritual consequences id slap whatever american version of diety people here believe in before im tossed into flames.

Just for fun, heres a good example of a religious rest home they have in Germany, they still care for their own.  Also for a secular society by American standards they sure act Christian in deed in many ways.  American society disgusts me so much sometimes. 

 

http://www.ordenswerke.de/

 

Please don't assume that all 300 million Americans treat their elderly badly or that all nursing/assisted living homes are bad based on your experice of one or just a few.

My FIL is living in an assisted living home since last fall. My closest to him BIL lived 25 minutes away and was at my FIL's home taking care of all of his needs several times a week, along with his own family, job and care for his MIL. It was very draining on him. The siblings who lived farther went as often as they could. My husband, who lives about 9 hours from his dad calls often. 

FIL lived for 17 years on his own. The last few years he started to repeat stories over and over again. 

We have offered to have him live with us, but he doesn't want to. He is a homebody and has never lived more than a half hour or where he was born except for his mission. 

When it started getting too much for BIL to handle they talked about living with children, getting home health, living in a nursing home. Together they decided to have him in an assisted living home close by the home he was raised in and close to some of his children. 

He has thrived. He loves the activities the home has. His conversations with my husband are not repeats. Mentally and emotionally he is doing so much better despite how he is deteriorating physically. 

Some Americans treat the elderly horribly, but many are well cared for and loved.

And that is how it is going to be with church, no matter which one you go to. There will be a few people who won't treat nonmembers well, some will have arms wide open and most will just be friendly - keeping in mind that what people consider friendly varies from culture to culture.