Bernard Gui Posted February 3, 2017 Posted February 3, 2017 (edited) This item hot off the the news wires: Dateline Ogden, Utah. 29 February 2027, Assimilated Press The town council of Hooper, Utah, [pronounced Hupp-er Hyou-taw] has been informed that the US Department of Agriculture [USDA] will move the Hooper [pronounced Hupp-er] Future Farmers of America club [FFA] to nearby Clearfield. USDA spokesman Crenshaw Duggers informed the council of the move at a meeting in the historic Beet Toppers Grange where the club has been meeting since it's founding in 1883. The reason for the move is unclear, but it appears it was mandated by incoming FDAFFA regional supervisor M. Fuddles Tantrum. Tantrum was appointed by the USDA to the position to replace retiring supervisor Jasper Pockets, who at the time of this report had not replied to our inquiries about the change. We found Pockets heading to the South Fork of the Weber [pronounced Weee-burr] River on his Polaris ATV. He declined to comment other than to say he had some new flies to try out. Tantrum came to Hooper [pronounced Hupp-er] from Only, Tennessee, where he coached the FFA club at the Beauregard R. Toadlick County Consolidated One Room School. On arrival in Hooper [pronounced Hupp-er], Tantrum met with town officials over a cup of sagebrush tea to discuss the terms of his new contract. Much to his chagrin, he discovered that he would be required to wear the official FFA club cap both to work and around the town as a symbol of his leadership and commitment to the club. The fits-all adjustable cap is John-Deere green with the iconic club logo - golden crossed-sugar-beets superimposed over a Holstein heifer - embroidered by club members on the front. They wear the caps to school, in public, and even at home to symbolize their commitment to the fundamental ideals of the Hooper [pronounced Hupp-er] FFA. Club rules state that it must be worn straight on, not backwards or sideways. "I always wear my hat sideways," Tantrum declared to the council. "I'll wear it frontways at meetings and around town if I have to, but I'll be dagburned if I have to wear it straight on at home!" Mayor Juan Vacaloco Ortega-Chile expressed his dismay. "The Hooper [pronounced Hupp-er] FFA must stand firm in its honored and historic tradition. You must wear it straight on at all times." "Well that's a fine how-do-you-do!" said Tantrum. "Just wait and see! I'm taking this club to a more reasonable town. I hear everyone in Clearfield wears their hats sideways. That's where I'm headed." USDA spokesman Duggers added, "I think this is for the best. We feel it is important for our mission to allow our employees to wear their hats in whatever direction they choose. Besides, all those Hooper kids [he pronounced it Whooo-per] can just as easily ride their bikes on over to Clearfield iffen they want to participate in FFA." So, the long-cherished Hooper [pronounced Hupp-er] FFA Club will disband. Moving it to much-hated school sports rival Clearfield will be a bitter pill for the Hooperites [pronounced Hupp-er-ites] to swallow, but on the positive side the Beet Toppers Grange will be taken over by the Jolly Ladies' Weekly Literature and Cake Frosting Society. In a press conference with Mayor Ortega-Chile, firebrand Mormon activist and leader of the Mormons Against Dumbnut Stuff [MADS] S. Heber Young said (in an uncharacteristically conciliatory tone), "Yeah, well it's better to make this switch now rather than wait until someone comes along wanting to change the color of the hats. That's a fight we would surely lose." Edited February 3, 2017 by Bernard Gui 3
Buckeye Posted February 3, 2017 Posted February 3, 2017 For those thinking "what the what?", just read this closed thread and you'll understand
Buckeye Posted February 3, 2017 Posted February 3, 2017 (edited) As for me, I think the best outcome in this story would be for the town of Hooper to change its name to Hopper in honor of Sheriff Jim Hopper, a well known WoW offender and zealous defender of weirdos. Edited February 3, 2017 by Buckeye 1
bluebell Posted February 3, 2017 Posted February 3, 2017 Let's get down to the nitty gritty-Is Hooper really pronounced Hupper? 3
rongo Posted February 3, 2017 Posted February 3, 2017 13 minutes ago, bluebell said: Let's get down to the nitty gritty-Is Hooper really pronounced Hupper? Yes. It's "hooker," but with a "p" instead of a "k." Hurricane, Utah is also pronounced "hur-uh-kun." And then you've got Orem ("arm") and American Fork ("mark-n-fark"). I've also noticed that Wasatch Front general authorities almost all precede "wh" words with the h, not the w (hwisper, or hweat, instead of whisper, wheat). Too bad Professor Higgins was stuck in London studying Cockney . . . 4
CA Steve Posted February 3, 2017 Posted February 3, 2017 Now if I could only figure out how to pronounce "Tooele". 3
bluebell Posted February 3, 2017 Posted February 3, 2017 1 minute ago, CA Steve said: Now if I could only figure out how to pronounce "Tooele". I seriously pronounced it Tooly for the first year we lived here. And don't get me started on Mantua or Duchesne. 3
stemelbow Posted February 3, 2017 Posted February 3, 2017 2 hours ago, Bernard Gui said: This item hot off the the news wires: Dateline Ogden, Utah. 29 February 2027, Assimilated Press The town council of Hooper, Utah, [pronounced Hupp-er Hyou-taw] has been informed that the US Department of Agriculture [USDA] will move the Hooper [pronounced Hupp-er] Future Farmers of America club [FFA] to nearby Clearfield. USDA spokesman Crenshaw Duggers informed the council of the move at a meeting in the historic Beet Toppers Grange where the club has been meeting since it's founding in 1883. The reason for the move is unclear, but it appears it was mandated by incoming FDAFFA regional supervisor M. Fuddles Tantrum. Tantrum was appointed by the USDA to the position to replace retiring supervisor Jasper Pockets, who at the time of this report had not replied to our inquiries about the change. We found Pockets heading to the South Fork of the Weber [pronounced Weee-burr] River on his Polaris ATV. He declined to comment other than to say he had some new flies to try out. Tantrum came to Hooper [pronounced Hupp-er] from Only, Tennessee, where he coached the FFA club at the Beauregard R. Toadlick County Consolidated One Room School. On arrival in Hooper [pronounced Hupp-er], Tantrum met with town officials over a cup of sagebrush tea to discuss the terms of his new contract. Much to his chagrin, he discovered that he would be required to wear the official FFA club cap both to work and around the town as a symbol of his leadership and commitment to the club. The fits-all adjustable cap is John-Deere green with the iconic club logo - golden crossed-sugar-beets superimposed over a Holstein heifer - embroidered by club members on the front. They wear the caps to school, in public, and even at home to symbolize their commitment to the fundamental ideals of the Hooper [pronounced Hupp-er] FFA. Club rules state that it must be worn straight on, not backwards or sideways. "I always wear my hat sideways," Tantrum declared to the council. "I'll wear it frontways at meetings and around town if I have to, but I'll be dagburned if I have to wear it straight on at home!" Mayor Juan Vacaloco Ortega-Chile expressed his dismay. "The Hooper [pronounced Hupp-er] FFA must stand firm in its honored and historic tradition. You must wear it straight on at all times." "Well that's a fine how-do-you-do!" said Tantrum. "Just wait and see! I'm taking this club to a more reasonable town. I hear everyone in Clearfield wears their hats sideways. That's where I'm headed." USDA spokesman Duggers added, "I think this is for the best. We feel it is important for our mission to allow our employees to wear their hats in whatever direction they choose. Besides, all those Hooper kids [he pronounced it Whooo-per] can just as easily ride their bikes on over to Clearfield iffen they want to participate in FFA." So, the long-cherished Hooper [pronounced Hupp-er] FFA Club will disband. Moving it to much-hated school sports rival Clearfield will be a bitter pill for the Hooperites [pronounced Hupp-er-ites] to swallow, but on the positive side the Beet Toppers Grange will be taken over by the Jolly Ladies' Weekly Literature and Cake Frosting Society. In a press conference with Mayor Ortega-Chile, firebrand Mormon activist and leader of the Mormons Against Dumbnut Stuff [MADS] S. Heber Young said (in an uncharacteristically conciliatory tone), "Yeah, well it's better to make this switch now rather than wait until someone comes along wanting to change the color of the hats. That's a fight we would surely lose." I'm pissed. Hooper's in Weber County, the choicest of all Utah counties, and Clearfield's in Davis, the land of yuppies and ding dongs with nothing in between. Wife knows all about it. She used to ride her horse out in Hooper yet went to high school in Clearfield. Down with the FFA! 1
mfbukowski Posted February 3, 2017 Posted February 3, 2017 1 hour ago, CA Steve said: Now if I could only figure out how to pronounce "Tooele". Well when I first lived in Utah, I thought it was "tooley" for obvious reasons. I think they worship smoke stacks or something. 1
Traela Posted February 3, 2017 Posted February 3, 2017 2 hours ago, rongo said: I've also noticed that Wasatch Front general authorities almost all precede "wh" words with the h, not the w (hwisper, or hweat, instead of whisper, wheat). That's how my Juilliard-trained choir director had us pronounce "wh".
pogi Posted February 3, 2017 Posted February 3, 2017 Hooper was first called Muskrat Springs. That is a WAY cooler name then Hooper (pronounced Hupper and not to be confused with Helper, Utah). 3
CV75 Posted February 3, 2017 Posted February 3, 2017 3 hours ago, Bernard Gui said: This item hot off the the news wires: Dateline Ogden, Utah. 29 February 2027, Assimilated Press The town council of Hooper, Utah, [pronounced Hupp-er Hyou-taw] has been informed that the US Department of Agriculture [USDA] will move the Hooper [pronounced Hupp-er] Future Farmers of America club [FFA] to nearby Clearfield. USDA spokesman Crenshaw Duggers informed the council of the move at a meeting in the historic Beet Toppers Grange where the club has been meeting since it's founding in 1883. The reason for the move is unclear, but it appears it was mandated by incoming FDAFFA regional supervisor M. Fuddles Tantrum. Tantrum was appointed by the USDA to the position to replace retiring supervisor Jasper Pockets, who at the time of this report had not replied to our inquiries about the change. We found Pockets heading to the South Fork of the Weber [pronounced Weee-burr] River on his Polaris ATV. He declined to comment other than to say he had some new flies to try out. Tantrum came to Hooper [pronounced Hupp-er] from Only, Tennessee, where he coached the FFA club at the Beauregard R. Toadlick County Consolidated One Room School. On arrival in Hooper [pronounced Hupp-er], Tantrum met with town officials over a cup of sagebrush tea to discuss the terms of his new contract. Much to his chagrin, he discovered that he would be required to wear the official FFA club cap both to work and around the town as a symbol of his leadership and commitment to the club. The fits-all adjustable cap is John-Deere green with the iconic club logo - golden crossed-sugar-beets superimposed over a Holstein heifer - embroidered by club members on the front. They wear the caps to school, in public, and even at home to symbolize their commitment to the fundamental ideals of the Hooper [pronounced Hupp-er] FFA. Club rules state that it must be worn straight on, not backwards or sideways. "I always wear my hat sideways," Tantrum declared to the council. "I'll wear it frontways at meetings and around town if I have to, but I'll be dagburned if I have to wear it straight on at home!" Mayor Juan Vacaloco Ortega-Chile expressed his dismay. "The Hooper [pronounced Hupp-er] FFA must stand firm in its honored and historic tradition. You must wear it straight on at all times." "Well that's a fine how-do-you-do!" said Tantrum. "Just wait and see! I'm taking this club to a more reasonable town. I hear everyone in Clearfield wears their hats sideways. That's where I'm headed." USDA spokesman Duggers added, "I think this is for the best. We feel it is important for our mission to allow our employees to wear their hats in whatever direction they choose. Besides, all those Hooper kids [he pronounced it Whooo-per] can just as easily ride their bikes on over to Clearfield iffen they want to participate in FFA." So, the long-cherished Hooper [pronounced Hupp-er] FFA Club will disband. Moving it to much-hated school sports rival Clearfield will be a bitter pill for the Hooperites [pronounced Hupp-er-ites] to swallow, but on the positive side the Beet Toppers Grange will be taken over by the Jolly Ladies' Weekly Literature and Cake Frosting Society. In a press conference with Mayor Ortega-Chile, firebrand Mormon activist and leader of the Mormons Against Dumbnut Stuff [MADS] S. Heber Young said (in an uncharacteristically conciliatory tone), "Yeah, well it's better to make this switch now rather than wait until someone comes along wanting to change the color of the hats. That's a fight we would surely lose." Meanwhile, Cletus Crump-Bass finally submitted to the requirements for admission into the Jolly Ladies' Weekly Literature and Cake Frosting Society by identifying as a Tart. 2
Duncan Posted February 3, 2017 Posted February 3, 2017 1 hour ago, bluebell said: I seriously pronounced it Tooly for the first year we lived here. And don't get me started on Mantua or Duchesne. we have a sister missionary from Mantua and she pronounces it, "man too eh" like, um, how 'bout that" the Utah and S. Alberta sister missionary vernacular is quite peculiar
ERayR Posted February 3, 2017 Posted February 3, 2017 6 hours ago, Bernard Gui said: This item hot off the the news wires: Dateline Ogden, Utah. 29 February 2027, Assimilated Press The town council of Hooper, Utah, [pronounced Hupp-er Hyou-taw] has been informed that the US Department of Agriculture [USDA] will move the Hooper [pronounced Hupp-er] Future Farmers of America club [FFA] to nearby Clearfield. USDA spokesman Crenshaw Duggers informed the council of the move at a meeting in the historic Beet Toppers Grange where the club has been meeting since it's founding in 1883. The reason for the move is unclear, but it appears it was mandated by incoming FDAFFA regional supervisor M. Fuddles Tantrum. Tantrum was appointed by the USDA to the position to replace retiring supervisor Jasper Pockets, who at the time of this report had not replied to our inquiries about the change. We found Pockets heading to the South Fork of the Weber [pronounced Weee-burr] River on his Polaris ATV. He declined to comment other than to say he had some new flies to try out. Tantrum came to Hooper [pronounced Hupp-er] from Only, Tennessee, where he coached the FFA club at the Beauregard R. Toadlick County Consolidated One Room School. On arrival in Hooper [pronounced Hupp-er], Tantrum met with town officials over a cup of sagebrush tea to discuss the terms of his new contract. Much to his chagrin, he discovered that he would be required to wear the official FFA club cap both to work and around the town as a symbol of his leadership and commitment to the club. The fits-all adjustable cap is John-Deere green with the iconic club logo - golden crossed-sugar-beets superimposed over a Holstein heifer - embroidered by club members on the front. They wear the caps to school, in public, and even at home to symbolize their commitment to the fundamental ideals of the Hooper [pronounced Hupp-er] FFA. Club rules state that it must be worn straight on, not backwards or sideways. "I always wear my hat sideways," Tantrum declared to the council. "I'll wear it frontways at meetings and around town if I have to, but I'll be dagburned if I have to wear it straight on at home!" Mayor Juan Vacaloco Ortega-Chile expressed his dismay. "The Hooper [pronounced Hupp-er] FFA must stand firm in its honored and historic tradition. You must wear it straight on at all times." "Well that's a fine how-do-you-do!" said Tantrum. "Just wait and see! I'm taking this club to a more reasonable town. I hear everyone in Clearfield wears their hats sideways. That's where I'm headed." USDA spokesman Duggers added, "I think this is for the best. We feel it is important for our mission to allow our employees to wear their hats in whatever direction they choose. Besides, all those Hooper kids [he pronounced it Whooo-per] can just as easily ride their bikes on over to Clearfield iffen they want to participate in FFA." So, the long-cherished Hooper [pronounced Hupp-er] FFA Club will disband. Moving it to much-hated school sports rival Clearfield will be a bitter pill for the Hooperites [pronounced Hupp-er-ites] to swallow, but on the positive side the Beet Toppers Grange will be taken over by the Jolly Ladies' Weekly Literature and Cake Frosting Society. In a press conference with Mayor Ortega-Chile, firebrand Mormon activist and leader of the Mormons Against Dumbnut Stuff [MADS] S. Heber Young said (in an uncharacteristically conciliatory tone), "Yeah, well it's better to make this switch now rather than wait until someone comes along wanting to change the color of the hats. That's a fight we would surely lose." As a past member and officer of the local FFA chapter I have one question. What the h... does the USDA have to do or say about the FFA? 1
bluebell Posted February 3, 2017 Posted February 3, 2017 1 hour ago, Duncan said: we have a sister missionary from Mantua and she pronounces it, "man too eh" like, um, how 'bout that" the Utah and S. Alberta sister missionary vernacular is quite peculiar Yep, that's how you say it. 1
Bernard Gui Posted February 3, 2017 Author Posted February 3, 2017 (edited) 1 hour ago, ERayR said: As a past member and officer of the local FFA chapter I have one question. What the h... does the USDA have to do or say about the FFA? Recently revealed evidence of big government intrusion on our vital institutions maybe? I got this info from S. Heber Young. What the heck does he know? Work with me...... Edited February 3, 2017 by Bernard Gui 1
strappinglad Posted February 4, 2017 Posted February 4, 2017 Don't forget Darthy in her garges arnge argundy farmul. 2
Bernard Gui Posted February 4, 2017 Author Posted February 4, 2017 17 hours ago, Buckeye said: As for me, I think the best outcome in this story would be for the town of Hooper to change its name to Hopper in honor of Sheriff Jim Hopper, a well known WoW offender and zealous defender of weirdos. 17 hours ago, rongo said: Yes. It's "hooker," but with a "p" instead of a "k." Hurricane, Utah is also pronounced "hur-uh-kun." And then you've got Orem ("arm") and American Fork ("mark-n-fark"). I've also noticed that Wasatch Front general authorities almost all precede "wh" words with the h, not the w (hwisper, or hweat, instead of whisper, wheat). Too bad Professor Higgins was stuck in London studying Cockney . . . I always heard it pronounced Herkin. Shut that door! Were you barn in a born?
Bernard Gui Posted February 4, 2017 Author Posted February 4, 2017 16 hours ago, stemelbow said: I'm pissed. Hooper's in Weber County, the choicest of all Utah counties, and Clearfield's in Davis, the land of yuppies and ding dongs with nothing in between. Wife knows all about it. She used to ride her horse out in Hooper yet went to high school in Clearfield. Down with the FFA! May S. Heber quote you in his next press conference at the Weber [pronounced Weee-bur] county court house? He'll be there to protest something or other. 1
Bernard Gui Posted February 4, 2017 Author Posted February 4, 2017 (edited) 14 hours ago, CV75 said: Meanwhile, Cletus Crump-Bass finally submitted to the requirements for admission into the Jolly Ladies' Weekly Literature and Cake Frosting Society by identifying as a Tart. That's weird How would a person identify as a pie or a law suit? Edited February 4, 2017 by Bernard Gui 1
rongo Posted February 4, 2017 Posted February 4, 2017 7 hours ago, Bernard Gui said: I always heard it pronounced Herkin. Those are the honors/AP students. The regular folk say "hur-uh-kun." 3
CV75 Posted February 4, 2017 Posted February 4, 2017 7 hours ago, Bernard Gui said: That's weird How would a person identify as a pie or a law suit? LOL... let me see how I can backpedal out of that one... "Tart" was not the surname on the birth certificate... 1
Recommended Posts