15 Ways To Help People In A Difficult Faith Transition Over Historical And Doctrinal Issues

[Bob Crockett]

In my opinion these all show that being gay is a choice-

Mere semantics. Taking your next breath is a choice. Flatulence is a choice.

[VideoGameJunkie]

Flatulence is definitely not a choice in my life. It's a way of life.

[JLHPROF]

Apparently the pointless debate will continue on this thread...despite it being an unprovable debate.

 

And despite it being completely irrelevant to the gospel issue of the sin of homosexuality.

[cinepro]

It is posts like these that make it nearly impossible for me, the mother of a beloved gay son to want remain in the church.  Just when I think that people are starting to be more understanding, I read comments like this and realize that there are people who wholeheartedly believe some of the things said here.  

 

The church has come a long way in the way they work with gay individuals.  I have had many talks with bishops, stake presidents and with my Heavenly Father to come to a place of peace regarding my son.  I love him, not in spite of him being gay, but have realized what a blessing I have been given to have him in my life and all the lessons I have learned in raising him.  He is a happy, well adjusted gay man, and is not a member of the church anymore.  He exemplifies the golden rule and is looking for a spouse to spend the rest of his life with.  I want that for him.

 

I will leave it at that.  Except to add that I appreciate efforts being made to help folks like me as I go through a difficult faith transition. 

 

Thanks for sharing.  Sometimes it's too easy to forget that we're talking about real people and real lives. 

 

I lived for over 10 years in a ward with a very large gay population in its boundaries.  It certainly broadened my perspectives to see fellow ward members who struggled with these issues, with many falling away and others doing the best they could.  And I know the Bishops of that ward did everything they could to help everyone feel welcome and able to contribute.

[VideoGameJunkie]

My uncle killed himself over being gay and his daughter (my cousin) became a lesbian after he killed himself.

[Rock_N_Roll]

My uncle killed himself over being gay and his daughter (my cousin) became a lesbian after he killed himself.

 

I doubt she "became a lesbian".  More likely she was always lesbian, but "came out" or started to act on her orientation after the tragedy. 

[VideoGameJunkie]

She probably was all along, but it was the timing of it that had our relatives scratching their heads over her coming out.

[mfbukowski]

You are bringing up two issues here.  Yes homosexual behavior is a choice.  So is heterosexual behavior.  Most people choose to find a partner, and be in relationships that bring them a sense of joy and emotional connection.  Whether we are gay or straight, we all choose to have connections with other humans.  Just because you believe that homosexual sex is a sin is no reason to condemn others for making the same choice to connect with someone they love just like you did.  .  It is pretty understandable choice.  God will judge them as He sees fit.  Leave the judgement to Him.

 

The second issue is; can a straight person have gay sex.  Yes of course.  But that doesn't necessarily make them gay.  A gay person can also have straight sex.  That doesn't necessarily make them straight.  Who you have sex with does not determine your orientation.  I have known that I was attracted to the same gender since I was 12 years old. Probably about the same time you started being attracted to girls.   I did everything I could to pretend to be straight.  At the time, my church leaders told me to get married, and these feelings would diminish and maybe even go away.  But being married to someone of the opposite sex does not make you straight. Never in all those years did I ever think I was straight or attracted to the opposite gender.  It is why the church no longer gives gay members that counsel.

This is not possible for me to understand

 

I could not possibly under any circumstances voluntarily have gay sex.  Without getting graphic, let's just say it wouldn't work.  Besides I would find it disgusting.

 

Were I homosexual in this situation, I could not possibly marry a woman, nor could I pretend to want to marry a woman, or think for a nanosecond that I could even pull it off to fool myself or others.

 

The very fact that some gay men are able to marry women, and have heterosexual sex makes it clear to me that at least for these individuals, there ARE options involved.  I recognize that that might not be true for all, simply because it is not a choice for me to not be heterosexual.

 

But I have no understanding whatsoever for the notion that one could be "bi" AND NOT be able to make the choice to at least act heterosexual for the sake of an unselfish devotion to one's spouse and children.

 

To have made that commitment, to have actually fathered children in a heterosexual relationship, thereby obviously showing that the relationship was "working" sexually to at least some degree, and then to have made the decision to dump that all for a better sexual relationship, is just plain beyond my comprehension.

 

The answer might be, in essence, "So what?  What do I care about what is beyond your comprehension?" and I suppose that is a fair answer in its way.

 

But for some, just know that it IS totally beyond their comprehension.  I do not judge- for those who make that decision it is between them and their God.

 

I am just incapable of comprehending it I suppose.  My family is everything to me.  I would never give them up for better sex.  I just don't get it.

[mfbukowski]

It is posts like these that make it nearly impossible for me, the mother of a beloved gay son to want remain in the church.  Just when I think that people are starting to be more understanding, I read comments like this and realize that there are people who wholeheartedly believe some of the things said here.  

 

The church has come a long way in the way they work with gay individuals.  I have had many talks with bishops, stake presidents and with my Heavenly Father to come to a place of peace regarding my son.  I love him, not in spite of him being gay, but have realized what a blessing I have been given to have him in my life and all the lessons I have learned in raising him.  He is a happy, well adjusted gay man, and is not a member of the church anymore.  He exemplifies the golden rule and is looking for a spouse to spend the rest of his life with.  I want that for him.

 

I will leave it at that.  Except to add that I appreciate efforts being made to help folks like me as I go through a difficult faith transition. 

For the record, despite what one might think from my previous post, I understand your position completely and would like to think that I would have the same attitude in the same situation.

 

Each of us has to find our own way in life - I totally agree with that.  And if some need to leave the church because it does not agree with their world view, I am totally behind them acting according to their consciences.

 

I do not need to understand their lives- I cannot live their lives for them, as they cannot live mine for me.  For me the LDS paradigm works perfectly, but I can see that it might not work for others.

 

God takes us all from where we are and leads us each on the path that works best for us individually.   I wish you and your son a wonderful and happy and fulfilled life!

[Hamba Tuhan]

Enter the historians ... who of course mostly get ignored.

 

Prophecy fulfilled.

[california boy]

This is not possible for me to understand

 

I could not possibly under any circumstances voluntarily have gay sex.  Without getting graphic, let's just say it wouldn't work.  Besides I would find it disgusting.

 

Were I homosexual in this situation, I could not possibly marry a woman, nor could I pretend to want to marry a woman, or think for a nanosecond that I could even pull it off to fool myself or others.

 

The very fact that some gay men are able to marry women, and have heterosexual sex makes it clear to me that at least for these individuals, there ARE options involved.  I recognize that that might not be true for all, simply because it is not a choice for me to not be heterosexual.

 

But I have no understanding whatsoever for the notion that one could be "bi" AND NOT be able to make the choice to at least act heterosexual for the sake of an unselfish devotion to one's spouse and children.

 

To have made that commitment, to have actually fathered children in a heterosexual relationship, thereby obviously showing that the relationship was "working" sexually to at least some degree, and then to have made the decision to dump that all for a better sexual relationship, is just plain beyond my comprehension.

 

The answer might be, in essence, "So what?  What do I care about what is beyond your comprehension?" and I suppose that is a fair answer in its way.

 

But for some, just know that it IS totally beyond their comprehension.  I do not judge- for those who make that decision it is between them and their God.

 

I am just incapable of comprehending it I suppose.  My family is everything to me.  I would never give them up for better sex.  I just don't get it.

I can see how this is difficult to understand.  You have to understand that I really wanted to do what the church asked me to do. I thought it was what God wanted me to do. I went on a mission hoping that if I gave 2 years of my life for God, He would somehow "change" me.  I loved my mission and served faithfully, but there was no change.  When I came back, my church leaders told me that if I just got married, I would "change".  I chose to marry my wife because she was a good friend, a really wonderful person, but I wasn't attracted to her in a romantic way.  That also didn't happen.  I did like being married.  Loved having children.  But I knew I was pretending to be someone I wasn't.  It feels like you are lying to everyone.  You can not trust anyone's love.  When people tell you how wonderful you are or how they love you, in the back of my mind, I always wondered if they would still feel that way if they knew I was gay.  As it turns out, when I did come out, most everyone in the church walked away from my friendship with them.

 

I knew early in my marriage, that I would have to be truthful at some point.  But I felt like I had made a commitment when I became a father.  I didn't want to be a weekend dad, so I waited until all of my children were out of high school and either in college or married.   Being married certainly was not fair to my wife.  I only wish that the church had given different counsel to me when I was young and trusting.  She is a wonderful person and deserved someone who could love her in ways I could not.  In the end, my wife chose to divorce me.  It was the right thing for her to do, and probably something I could have never had the strength to initiate.  We still remain very good friends.

 

Marriage and who you choose to spend your life with is partly about sex, but it is not the most important thing.  If the test is, could you have sex with a woman, then you are right, many gay men could be with a woman.  You just close your eyes and fantasize about something completely different than what is really going on.  Unfortunately it is much deeper than that. I am not bi, I am gay.  If as all I needed in a relationship was sex, then all of this would be irrelevant.  Relationships are much more than whether you are able to have sex with the person.

 

I am not responding to your post to defend anything.  I am only responding because you seem to really want to know the answer to some questions.  I hope that helps.  PM me if I have been unclear about something.  I don't really want to get into this any more than I have in this thread.

[mfbukowski]

I can see how this is difficult to understand.  You have to understand that I really wanted to do what the church asked me to do. I thought it was what God wanted me to do. I went on a mission hoping that if I gave 2 years of my life for God, He would somehow "change" me.  I loved my mission and served faithfully, but there was no change.  When I came back, my church leaders told me that if I just got married, I would "change".  I chose to marry my wife because she was a good friend, a really wonderful person, but I wasn't attracted to her in a romantic way.  That also didn't happen.  I did like being married.  Loved having children.  But I knew I was pretending to be someone I wasn't.  It feels like you are lying to everyone.  You can not trust anyone's love.  When people tell you how wonderful you are or how they love you, in the back of my mind, I always wondered if they would still feel that way if they knew I was gay.  As it turns out, when I did come out, most everyone in the church walked away from my friendship with them.

 

I knew early in my marriage, that I would have to be truthful at some point.  But I felt like I had made a commitment when I became a father.  I didn't want to be a weekend dad, so I waited until all of my children were out of high school and either in college or married.   Being married certainly was not fair to my wife.  I only wish that the church had given different counsel to me when I was young and trusting.  She is a wonderful person and deserved someone who could love her in ways I could not.  In the end, my wife chose to divorce me.  It was the right thing for her to do, and probably something I could have never had the strength to initiate.  We still remain very good friends.

 

Marriage and who you choose to spend your life with is partly about sex, but it is not the most important thing.  If the test is, could you have sex with a woman, then you are right, many gay men could be with a woman.  You just close your eyes and fantasize about something completely different than what is really going on.  Unfortunately it is much deeper than that. I am not bi, I am gay.  If as all I needed in a relationship was sex, then all of this would be irrelevant.  Relationships are much more than whether you are able to have sex with the person.

 

I am not responding to your post to defend anything.  I am only responding because you seem to really want to know the answer to some questions.  I hope that helps.  PM me if I have been unclear about something.  I don't really want to get into this any more than I have in this thread.

No that's fine, thanks for the reply.  It really is none of my business and you have been very forthcoming in responding at all, thanks.  I still do not understand and I suppose never will.

 

I am trying to understand this because I have a personal connection to a family which went through these issues, and I am just trying to get it.

 

That second to the last paragraph seems to contradict the spirit of all the rest of the post.  If relationships are more important than sex, it would seem that one would value the relationship higher than the sex.

 

Don't feel pressured to answer- or you can pm me as well if you want.  It's probably time to just let it go.

[DBMormon]

I can see how this is difficult to understand.  You have to understand that I really wanted to do what the church asked me to do. I thought it was what God wanted me to do. I went on a mission hoping that if I gave 2 years of my life for God, He would somehow "change" me.  I loved my mission and served faithfully, but there was no change.  When I came back, my church leaders told me that if I just got married, I would "change".  I chose to marry my wife because she was a good friend, a really wonderful person, but I wasn't attracted to her in a romantic way.  That also didn't happen.  I did like being married.  Loved having children.  But I knew I was pretending to be someone I wasn't.  It feels like you are lying to everyone.  You can not trust anyone's love.  When people tell you how wonderful you are or how they love you, in the back of my mind, I always wondered if they would still feel that way if they knew I was gay.  As it turns out, when I did come out, most everyone in the church walked away from my friendship with them.

 

I knew early in my marriage, that I would have to be truthful at some point.  But I felt like I had made a commitment when I became a father.  I didn't want to be a weekend dad, so I waited until all of my children were out of high school and either in college or married.   Being married certainly was not fair to my wife.  I only wish that the church had given different counsel to me when I was young and trusting.  She is a wonderful person and deserved someone who could love her in ways I could not.  In the end, my wife chose to divorce me.  It was the right thing for her to do, and probably something I could have never had the strength to initiate.  We still remain very good friends.

 

Marriage and who you choose to spend your life with is partly about sex, but it is not the most important thing.  If the test is, could you have sex with a woman, then you are right, many gay men could be with a woman.  You just close your eyes and fantasize about something completely different than what is really going on.  Unfortunately it is much deeper than that. I am not bi, I am gay.  If as all I needed in a relationship was sex, then all of this would be irrelevant.  Relationships are much more than whether you are able to have sex with the person.

 

I am not responding to your post to defend anything.  I am only responding because you seem to really want to know the answer to some questions.  I hope that helps.  PM me if I have been unclear about something.  I don't really want to get into this any more than I have in this thread.

I appreciate your perspective and your willingness to share and I simply want you to know that many on this board understand the issue from your point of view.  While I am 100% heterosexual, I realize I never chose to be so.  I have always liked the female gender.  I know individuals who are transgendered and they while male on the outside where as feminine as anyone from almost birth.  Again thank you for your comment

Edited September 12, 2014 by DBMormon

[california boy]

While I intended to not answer any more on this thread, I felt like a response might be more helpful to a general reader.  Ignore it if you are so over this line of discussion.

 

 

I appreciate your perspective and your willingness to share and I simply want you to know that many on this board understand the issue from your point of view.  While I am 100% heterosexual, I realize I never chose to be so.  I have always liked the female gender.  I know individuals who are transgendered and they while male on the outside where as feminine as anyone from almost birth.  Again thank you for your comment

Thank you for your comment.  My intent is to not try and justify homosexual behavior but to help better understand what gay members are dealing with.  Certainly the church has every right to condemn the behavior.  But that doesn't mean that gay relationships are not loving, kind, fulfilling and normal to them.  I know this may sound odd to some members, but when I had sex with my wife, it felt more immoral to me than when I have sex with my boyfriend.  

 

 

 

That second to the last paragraph seems to contradict the spirit of all the rest of the post.  If relationships are more important than sex, it would seem that one would value the relationship higher than the sex.

 

 

 

 

You are right, the relationship is more important than the sex.  The problem becomes, a gay man does not connect or have a very fulfilling relationship with a woman.  Think of it this way.  If society and the church constantly told you that your intimate relationships have to be with a man and you married some man that you liked as a friend but no more, would your relationship with that man ever be as intimate and strong as it is with your wife?  Look around at your male friends.  Choose one and picture what it would be like to be married to him, not because you felt different about him, but because you were told you had to find a way to be with your friend.  Would you feel like one soul completing each other?  Or would it mostly always be just a platonic relationship put together by someone else who told you it was the right thing to do.  Could you ever tell your male friend who trusted you with all his happiness that you were just friends with him, and really have no attraction to him or any other man, knowing the hurt and betrayal he would feel.  And when your friends saw you and your male spouse together thinking that you had the perfect marriage, would there be a hollowness in yourself, knowing that you really did not have that kind of relationship that the world sees?  Now combine that with a feeling that you were lying for years about who you were and how others viewed you was all a lie.  Anyone who has had to carry a lie about themselves that involved betraying the ones they love the most for decades knows how that can eat away at your very soul.  At some point, all the consequences including hurting those you love most become more bearable than the lie.  

 

At some point, you are willing to look your wife and children in the eye, and tell them a truth about yourself that you felt such shame about your whole life.  A shame that you never asked for.  A shame that I have hid from everyone since i was a 12 year old boy.  A shame that the church said when I was young was an abomination to God.  I am gay...  I refuse to no longer be ashamed of something I never had any choice in being. I want what every other human wants.  I want to finally find someone I can love and connect with and share my life with.  Someone more than just a friend.  I want to be proud of my life and all the good I have done, all the Christ like moments I have had with others in this journey.  I can be a good person despite being gay.  God still loves me even when others can no longer do so.  And in the end, I finally find peace in my soul.  In the end, I don't believe that my life is an abomination to God.  I feel His love too strongly for that.  And I feel my love for my boyfriend in a way that I have never felt my entire life.  Love is good.  I feel no evil in it.  I am more than willing to take the judgement of God.  He knows my heart.  He knows my journey.  And to Rockerwife, God loves your son as well.  It is only men that deride and revile him.

[Tacenda]

 

While I intended to not answer any more on this thread, I felt like a response might be more helpful to a general reader.  Ignore it if you are so over this line of discussion.

 

 

Thank you for your comment.  My intent is to not try and justify homosexual behavior but to help better understand what gay members are dealing with.  Certainly the church has every right to condemn the behavior.  But that doesn't mean that gay relationships are not loving, kind, fulfilling and normal to them.  I know this may sound odd to some members, but when I had sex with my wife, it felt more immoral to me than when I have sex with my boyfriend.  

 

 

 

 

 

You are right, the relationship is more important than the sex.  The problem becomes, a gay man does not connect or have a very fulfilling relationship with a woman.  Think of it this way.  If society and the church constantly told you that your intimate relationships have to be with a man and you married some man that you liked as a friend but no more, would your relationship with that man ever be as intimate and strong as it is with your wife?  Look around at your male friends.  Choose one and picture what it would be like to be married to him, not because you felt different about him, but because you were told you had to find a way to be with your friend.  Would you feel like one soul completing each other?  Or would it mostly always be just a platonic relationship put together by someone else who told you it was the right thing to do.  Could you ever tell your male friend who trusted you with all his happiness that you were just friends with him, and really have no attraction to him or any other man, knowing the hurt and betrayal he would feel.  And when your friends saw you and your male spouse together thinking that you had the perfect marriage, would there be a hollowness in yourself, knowing that you really did not have that kind of relationship that the world sees?  Now combine that with a feeling that you were lying for years about who you were and how others viewed you was all a lie.  Anyone who has had to carry a lie about themselves that involved betraying the ones they love the most for decades knows how that can eat away at your very soul.  At some point, all the consequences including hurting those you love most become more bearable than the lie.  

 

At some point, you are willing to look your wife and children in the eye, and tell them a truth about yourself that you felt such shame about your whole life.  A shame that you never asked for.  A shame that I have hid from everyone since i was a 12 year old boy.  A shame that the church said when I was young was an abomination to God.  I am gay...  I refuse to no longer be ashamed of something I never had any choice in being. I want what every other human wants.  I want to finally find someone I can love and connect with and share my life with.  Someone more than just a friend.  I want to be proud of my life and all the good I have done, all the Christ like moments I have had with others in this journey.  I can be a good person despite being gay.  God still loves me even when others can no longer do so.  And in the end, I finally find peace in my soul.  In the end, I don't believe that my life is an abomination to God.  I feel His love too strongly for that.  And I feel my love for my boyfriend in a way that I have never felt my entire life.  Love is good.  I feel no evil in it.  I am more than willing to take the judgement of God.  He knows my heart.  He knows my journey.  And to Rockerwife, God loves your son as well.  It is only men that deride and revile him.

 

The bold breaks my heart.  CB, I'm thinking your children/ex wife are better people having known you as a gay person also.  They might have more open hearts than most w/o that connection. 

 

And your analogy of heterosexuals living in your shoes like you had to for most of your life, is spot on! 

[Rockerwife]

I appreciate the kind responses to my post.

 

VideoGameJunkie, I am so sorry for the loss of your uncle.  My heart breaks for him and your family.  

 

I read MD&D every day and have done for years.  I understand that through all of the discussions regarding homosexuality, gay marriage, and everything that goes along with it, it is impossible to convince someone to change their minds about how they feel about the topic.  I appreciate that some are able to try to look at the issues with a little more sensitivity as they hear real-life experiences from those who are willing to share.

 

This isn't my first rodeo, growing up in a family of 7, 4 boys and 3 girls, we had a fairly idyllic childhood with parents who taught us well about the gospel, we had regular family home evening, and everything that goes along with belonging to this church, all 4 boys served missions, but two of my brothers are gay.  I was devastated when I found out.  I wanted them to change.  One of my brothers attempted suicide on his mission because of the pain he felt trying to suppress his homosexuality.  My other brother had struggled with suicidal thoughts as well.  Now decades later, they are doing well.  One married in California during the narrow window when prop 8 was temporarily overturned, he has been with his partner (now husband) for almost 20 years.

 

All of this to say that I understand both sides of the issue.  I try to put myself in the position of some who have never had my experiences and see it from their point of view and that allows me to continue to attend church without feeling too much pain as people share old quotes from Spencer W. Kimball to make a point.  (President Kimball was the prophet of my childhood, and I will always love him)

 

Like I mentioned in my earlier point, the church has come a long way with how they deal with gay individuals, but I believe that my much loved family members are safe and happiest outside of the church.

[DBMormon]

I appreciate the kind responses to my post.

 

VideoGameJunkie, I am so sorry for the loss of your uncle.  My heart breaks for him and your family.  

 

I read MD&D every day and have done for years.  I understand that through all of the discussions regarding homosexuality, gay marriage, and everything that goes along with it, it is impossible to convince someone to change their minds about how they feel about the topic.  I appreciate that some are able to try to look at the issues with a little more sensitivity as they hear real-life experiences from those who are willing to share.

 

This isn't my first rodeo, growing up in a family of 7, 4 boys and 3 girls, we had a fairly idyllic childhood with parents who taught us well about the gospel, we had regular family home evening, and everything that goes along with belonging to this church, all 4 boys served missions, but two of my brothers are gay.  I was devastated when I found out.  I wanted them to change.  One of my brothers attempted suicide on his mission because of the pain he felt trying to suppress his homosexuality.  My other brother had struggled with suicidal thoughts as well.  Now decades later, they are doing well.  One married in California during the narrow window when prop 8 was temporarily overturned, he has been with his partner (now husband) for almost 20 years.

 

All of this to say that I understand both sides of the issue.  I try to put myself in the position of some who have never had my experiences and see it from their point of view and that allows me to continue to attend church without feeling too much pain as people share old quotes from Spencer W. Kimball to make a point.  (President Kimball was the prophet of my childhood, and I will always love him)

 

Like I mentioned in my earlier point, the church has come a long way with how they deal with gay individuals, but I believe that my much loved family members are safe and happiest outside of the church.

They have come a long way.  As you can see from the posts in this thread if they move too quickly there will be a lot of members on the extreme conservative side who would be frustrated if the policy tips the other way.  For them it simply won't fit in their paradigm.  I wish we moved quicker but I also realize their is risk on both sides.  A the very least we have to find room to allow them to participate even while we label their behavior sin.

[mfbukowski]

 

While I intended to not answer any more on this thread, I felt like a response might be more helpful to a general reader.  Ignore it if you are so over this line of discussion.

 

 

Thank you for your comment.  My intent is to not try and justify homosexual behavior but to help better understand what gay members are dealing with.  Certainly the church has every right to condemn the behavior.  But that doesn't mean that gay relationships are not loving, kind, fulfilling and normal to them.  I know this may sound odd to some members, but when I had sex with my wife, it felt more immoral to me than when I have sex with my boyfriend.  

 

 

 

 

 

You are right, the relationship is more important than the sex.  The problem becomes, a gay man does not connect or have a very fulfilling relationship with a woman.  Think of it this way.  If society and the church constantly told you that your intimate relationships have to be with a man and you married some man that you liked as a friend but no more, would your relationship with that man ever be as intimate and strong as it is with your wife?  Look around at your male friends.  Choose one and picture what it would be like to be married to him, not because you felt different about him, but because you were told you had to find a way to be with your friend.  Would you feel like one soul completing each other?  Or would it mostly always be just a platonic relationship put together by someone else who told you it was the right thing to do.  Could you ever tell your male friend who trusted you with all his happiness that you were just friends with him, and really have no attraction to him or any other man, knowing the hurt and betrayal he would feel.  And when your friends saw you and your male spouse together thinking that you had the perfect marriage, would there be a hollowness in yourself, knowing that you really did not have that kind of relationship that the world sees?  Now combine that with a feeling that you were lying for years about who you were and how others viewed you was all a lie.  Anyone who has had to carry a lie about themselves that involved betraying the ones they love the most for decades knows how that can eat away at your very soul.  At some point, all the consequences including hurting those you love most become more bearable than the lie.  

 

At some point, you are willing to look your wife and children in the eye, and tell them a truth about yourself that you felt such shame about your whole life.  A shame that you never asked for.  A shame that I have hid from everyone since i was a 12 year old boy.  A shame that the church said when I was young was an abomination to God.  I am gay...  I refuse to no longer be ashamed of something I never had any choice in being. I want what every other human wants.  I want to finally find someone I can love and connect with and share my life with.  Someone more than just a friend.  I want to be proud of my life and all the good I have done, all the Christ like moments I have had with others in this journey.  I can be a good person despite being gay.  God still loves me even when others can no longer do so.  And in the end, I finally find peace in my soul.  In the end, I don't believe that my life is an abomination to God.  I feel His love too strongly for that.  And I feel my love for my boyfriend in a way that I have never felt my entire life.  Love is good.  I feel no evil in it.  I am more than willing to take the judgement of God.  He knows my heart.  He knows my journey.  And to Rockerwife, God loves your son as well.  It is only men that deride and revile him.

 

Thanks