For The Sisters- Immodesty And You Are The Bishop

[VideoGameJunkie]

I didn't have the grades or SAT scores to get into BYU so I never had to worry.

[Bill “Papa” Lee]

OK now I will turn the tables here and ask the sisters here this one, and then I promise to sit back and shut up.

 

You sisters are now the Bishop.

 

You know that a young girl is applying for admission to BYU and soon will be required to follow the honor code which includes dressing modestly.

 

Her entire life as a young woman she has worn clothes which are too low, often sleeveless sometimes spaghetti-straps, and too short.

 

She could not wear garments with virtually ANY outfit she wears to church without exposing them- considerably.  She is a great young woman, has a great testimony and does everything right.

 

You are now called upon to answer a questionnaire on whether or not she is NOW living the standards of the BYU honor code.  If you say she is not, you could hurt her chances of getting into BYU. 

 

1-You have to say something to her to let her know what will be expected of her in terms of changing her behavior.

2-You also have to fill out the questionnaire

 

How do you handle it?  Please answer as if you are a man- not presuming that women can now be Bishops.  This is an actual problem I have faced in the past.

Of course not a sister, but I think any sister who wishes so, should have either the relief society president should be present. If in young women's...then the young women president should be there. But any sister, young or old should have that option no matter what the issue. When I was in the Bishopric, unless some sister was confessing a sin, one of the two counselors were required to be in the next room and the Bishop's door was open.

[Calm]

Doh!  I confess, I went to The Devil's School to the North ( FKA "University of Deseret!")  

So did my dad…and he has the buffed off horns to prove it.

[katherine the great]

I'm a little late into the discussion but I'll give my 2 cents.  If the girl applied to BYU she most likely is aware that they have a dress code.  I would call her into my office immediately and talk to her.  I would tell her all of the things that I have been impressed with over the years I have known her and I would ask her if she is aware of the dress code at BYU.  I would give her the benefit of the doubt.  I would share with her that the University wants to know from her Bishop whether or not she adheres to the current standards now.  Then, I would hold on to the application for a couple of weeks and if she shows by her dress modifications that she is interested in adhering to the dress code, I would give my approval on her letter of recommendation.  I think the girl certainly deserves that chance.  She may just not have even thought about it and it would be a shame to ruin her chances if she is willing to change her dress standards.

[mfbukowski]

I'm a little late into the discussion but I'll give my 2 cents.  If the girl applied to BYU she most likely is aware that they have a dress code.  I would call her into my office immediately and talk to her.  I would tell her all of the things that I have been impressed with over the years I have known her and I would ask her if she is aware of the dress code at BYU.  I would give her the benefit of the doubt.  I would share with her that the University wants to know from her Bishop whether or not she adheres to the current standards now.  Then, I would hold on to the application for a couple of weeks and if she shows by her dress modifications that she is interested in adhering to the dress code, I would give my approval on her letter of recommendation.  I think the girl certainly deserves that chance.  She may just not have even thought about it and it would be a shame to ruin her chances if she is willing to change her dress standards.

That's what I did.  

 

She was not aware of the code, at least not really understanding its implications for her personally.  It finally came together and she is now in school.

[jana at jade house]

 

 

She is a great young woman, has a great testimony and does everything right.

I beg to differ: she does not follow the dress code outlined in "For the Strength of the Youth." She has ignored every lesson in YW about it. She has not complied, which speaks to her mind set.  Her parents should be in on the informal chat about BYU dress code and expected compliance. The word immodest should not be part of the conversation. One can be modest and sport a spaghetti strap.  One can be a siren wearing chin to toe clothing.Modesty is between the ears and is expressed in behaviour. Her parents should be included because they have not done their job to reinforce a dress code for a daughter of Zion.  They now will have to bankroll a whole new wardrobe before she can even appear on campus.   

We have a temple ready rule in our family especially after kids start purchasing their own clothes. If it doesn't meet the dress standard of our family then it doesn't come home.  Even my inactive boy knows better than to show up in substandard fashion.

[Calm]

They now will have to bankroll a whole new wardrobe before she can even appear on campus.   

 

I would think just a number of appropriately coloured simple t-shirt like shirts would be enough, you can pick them up for about $5 a piece.

 

There are also 'underskirts' that can add a longer layer, just wear like a slip that can be used with multiple skirts.

Edited March 2, 2014 by calmoriah

[jana at jade house]

 

Her entire life as a young woman she has worn clothes which are too low, often sleeveless sometimes spaghetti-straps, and too short.

 

Oh I thought he meant a skirt.   I personally think wearing a T-shirt under a halter dress is really tacky and wearing a T-shirt under a skimpy fashion top just to make it modest  is sorta not getting the message.  That said, I do have a set of lace inset shirts that I am forced to wear as insurance because  tent sized tops have wider necks and deeper necklines so I fill it in with lace.  So I get that modern styles have to be tweaked because of fitting problems.sometimes  Still, when people wear stuff that is obviously not standard ( but it is the fashion) and than go to extra lengths to cover bellies, busts and what all, then fashion is more important that standard. But what do I know...

[Calm]

There are also underskirts to extend length on the lower half of the body.

I agree that for some it is missing the point and for many items it may look weird, but if it is a budget issue it may be a practical short term solution.

Edited March 3, 2014 by calmoriah

[Scott Lloyd]

That's what I did.  

 

She was not aware of the code, at least not really understanding its implications for her personally.  It finally came together and she is now in school.