More Hulu Fun

[Nofear]

Hulu seems to be at it again: Devil in the Family

I found the statistics on toxic perfectionism interesting.

 

[Tacenda]

I watched this, thought it was good that it came from the horses' mouths. I hate how the teachings of what have you, lead people to do horrendous things...Chad and Lori Daybell for two and the list goes on.

I might add, this Friday Lori Daybell is going to be interviewed in prison I would think, on Dateline.

[Devobah]

19 minutes ago, Nofear said:

Hulu seems to be at it again: Devil in the Family

I found the statistics on toxic perfectionism interesting.

 

I want to see who Hulu has on their employment, because the amount of LDS-related shows lately have been on a really surprising uptick.

[smac97]

A 2015 article: LDS Perfectionism: Research Reveals Pros & Cons

A 2023 article: What 18 years of research tells us about the mental health of Latter-day Saints

Both articles address "adaptive perfectionism" (generally healthy and good) and "maladaptive perfectionism" (generally counterproductive and detrimental).

Thanks,

-Smac

[MustardSeed]

19 minutes ago, Devobah said:

I want to see who Hulu has on their employment, because the amount of LDS-related shows lately have been on a really surprising uptick.

I say don’t shoot the messenger. This story sells advertising and I think we’re all just lucky that this woman didn’t kill somebody before she was shut down. 

[Devobah]

39 minutes ago, MustardSeed said:

I say don’t shoot the messenger. This story sells advertising and I think we’re all just lucky that this woman didn’t kill somebody before she was shut down. 

You're probably right. I guess I was implying Exmormon foul play, when in reality we as humans just (for a really odd reason) like to learn about tragedy and the worst we have to offer as a race.

[MustardSeed]

26 minutes ago, Devobah said:

You're probably right. I guess I was implying Exmormon foul play, when in reality we as humans just (for a really odd reason) like to learn about tragedy and the worst we have to offer as a race.

I mean, we do provide good material to work with 😩😂

[bluebell]

I just finished this.  It's so incredibly sad to see the transformation of Ruby and her family.  And to see how Hildebrandt managed to get such a following and to essentially set herself up as a prophet while she was active in the church and no one in the church really knew.  At least, that's what it appears to be as in one episode her bishop is pictured, trying to help her with a 'demonic possession'.

I can't figure out if Hildebrandt is deluded or just evil.  I think that Ruby was deluded and her delusions caused her to do really evil things.

[Senator]

2 hours ago, MustardSeed said:

I mean, we do provide good material to work with 😩😂

Owning that we are a peculiar people may entail understanding that others will agree with us.

[Dario_M]

What a storie. And what a horible parents. Good that they've end up in jail. I find it a bit dissapointed that this video is used to bring the LDS community down (once again🤷‍♀️). People in the United States are aften way to positive. That's more a culture thing. Toxic positivity. I don't see that behavoir in my ward. Because Dutch people are not like that. 

But again..if i watch this video then it get's clear to me that this is not the church to blame for. It's those crazy parents to blame for all the mess. And also that crazy psychologist. Why was she even allowed to live in that house?🤷‍♀️ I don't understand. 

I gotta say this is the most interesting topic i've seen so far on this board. Very interesting. 

Edited March 9 by Dario_M

[sunstoned]

I watched this, and it was incredibly sad to see what happened to those children. I do not understand the inaction of Ruby's husband.  In my opinion, what he did was abandonment. 

[bluebell]

12 hours ago, sunstoned said:

I watched this, and it was incredibly sad to see what happened to those children. I do not understand the inaction of Ruby's husband.  In my opinion, what he did was abandonment. 

He was the hardest to understand. She really had his ***** in her purse, to put it bluntly.

When I watched the part about how he came home one day and she just told him that he was going to move out and have no contact with her or the kids until he jumped through enough hoops that she would let him move back in, all I could think about is how my husband would just look at me and laugh if I said something like that to him.  Even for a man who is on the more submissive side than the average, I still think his reaction was off the charts odd.

[Dario_M]

You know what i ask myself. Why hasn't that crazy psychologist been arested as well? Edit...i haven't payed attention..i see now that Jodi has been arested as well. ⬆️

Edited March 10 by Dario_M

[Calm]

2 hours ago, bluebell said:

He was the hardest to understand. She really had his ***** in her purse, to put it bluntly.

When I watched the part about how he came home one day and she just told him that he was going to move out and have no contact with her or the kids until he jumped through enough hoops that she would let him move back in, all I could think about is how my husband would just look at me and laugh if I said something like that to him.  Even for a man who is on the more submissive side than the average, I still think his reaction was off the charts odd.

Maybe part of him wanted to go, it was getting too hard to keep up with her and it was a relief to get a break?

[bluebell]

15 minutes ago, Calm said:

Maybe part of him wanted to go, it was getting too hard to keep up with her and it was a relief to get a break?

Maybe. He seemed pretty destroyed by it. He was jumping through every hoop he could think of to try to get back home with her again. It sounded like he became a complete recluse except for his “Sessions“ with Hildebrandt.

[Chum]

On 3/6/2025 at 1:07 PM, MustardSeed said:

I mean, we do provide good material to work with 😩😂

I've belonged to a ½doz diff Christian faiths and we are by far the most interesting.

[Calm]

13 minutes ago, Chum said:

I've belonged to a ½doz diff Christian faiths and we are by far the most interesting.

Do you think our centralization which makes the size of the community quite extensive has an effect on this?  I don’t know how you are counting the other faith communities you’ve belonged to….

I didn’t realize you were a convert (and I assume an adult to give you the time to experience the other faiths), good to know.

Unless you are a reconvert…left and went exploring and came back, which is not a bad thing imo.  I actually think it would be very useful to experience different faiths as a devout, thoughtful all in believer (not as a fanatic or clueless dabbler, just sincerely experiencing the faith fully, embracing and surrounding oneself with each faith, not expecting to move on but anticipating this was to be your life) and not just Christian as I think we can benefit from looking at our experience in fundamentally different ways, but I don’t see how to really make it work given how our minds function, plus staying in a faith that steadily leads you to God is a valuable experience.

[Calm]

1 hour ago, bluebell said:

Maybe. He seemed pretty destroyed by it. He was jumping through every hoop he could think of to try to get back home with her again. It sounded like he became a complete recluse except for his “Sessions“ with Hildebrandt.

I am thinking it would be more like a surge of relief that caused him to just give up easily and walk out, but wasn’t the dominant part of his feelings about his family so as soon as that initial relief was gone, he regretted it.  It would be more impulse to leave than thought out kind of thing.

Had she been prone to making demands of him and then rewarding him when successfully completely?  Maybe he just had the expectation it would be easier and less time consuming in the long run to leave and fulfill her requirements than try and fight and end up possibly having her demands ramp up.

I should watch the show before speculating but I am not in a state where I want to see toxic relationships and self destructiveness actually happening.  I don’t want to make the pain of their lives real for me (since there is nothing I can do for them, I don’t see it as a useful cost).

Has he done any interviews?  Seems like someone so willing to put their life on view would be prone to keep doing it, but if she was the driver and he just followed, maybe he wants nothing to do with that kind of exposure.

[bluebell]

35 minutes ago, Calm said:

I am thinking it would be more like a surge of relief that caused him to just give up easily and walk out, but wasn’t the dominant part of his feelings about his family so as soon as that initial relief was gone, he regretted it.  It would be more impulse to leave than thought out kind of thing.

Had she been prone to making demands of him and then rewarding him when successfully completely?  Maybe he just had the expectation it would be easier and less time consuming in the long run to leave and fulfill her requirements than try and fight and end up possibly having her demands ramp up.

I should watch the show before speculating but I am not in a state where I want to see toxic relationships and self destructiveness actually happening.  I don’t want to make the pain of their lives real for me (since there is nothing I can do for them, I don’t see it as a useful cost).

Has he done any interviews?  Seems like someone so willing to put their life on view would be prone to keep doing it, but if she was the driver and he just followed, maybe he wants nothing to do with that kind of exposure.

The show is mostly him and the two oldest being interviewed mixed in with videos from their YouTube channel. It’s fascinating to hear him talk about his experiences. He has a lot of guilt and shame it seems for leaving, but it’s just weird that he ever agreed so easily. It sounds like they both really thought that the second coming was happening any moment and that Jodie Hildebrandt was the way to be saved.

[ZealouslyStriving]

58 minutes ago, Calm said:

Maybe he just had the expectation it would be easier and less time consuming in the long run to leave and fulfill her requirements than try and fight and end up possibly having her demands ramp up.

...or be falsely accused of something and be labeled that for the rest of his life (even if not proven) because he refused to leave.

 

[bluebell]

8 minutes ago, ZealouslyStriving said:

...or be falsely accused of something and be labeled that for the rest of his life (even if not proven) because he refused to leave.

 

Can you explain what you mean?  Because if he was there when the kids were being abused, then it wouldn't be a false accusation, right?  

[Chum]

11 minutes ago, Calm said:

Do you think our centralization which makes the size of the community quite extensive has an effect on this?

Sure. Membership is easy to understand and hierarchies are more conducive to accountability.

18 minutes ago, Calm said:

I don’t know how you are counting the other faith communities you’ve belonged to….

I was born Catholic and went to catholic school but the parish was in the next county down.  I probably spent more time at the nearby Methodist church. For a few years I did a circuit between Evangelical, Baptist and some non-denoms I don't know the name of.

22 minutes ago, Calm said:

Unless you are a reconvert…left and went exploring and came back,

I've been inactive since my move (during covid). It's complicated but the short ver is the last ward was awful for me. Decades of politics wore me down and piece by piece I gave up.

(Sidebar:  The reason I do an absurd amount of genealogy is because I can. I don't have to fight a doz different agendas. I can just do the work.)

In contrast, my new ward is pretty okay. It isn't close but I visited a few times. It's like what I imagined other wards were like. 

However, I've changed. I'm no longer comfortable with crowds. And I'm kind of over classes where everyone's in rows and someone teaches from the other side of an invisible barrier.

But the biggest barrier to activity is that I am finally happy again.  Clarifying here that my state is entirely due to my personal experience. I think the Church mostly does what it can and I don't think it could fix my old ward because people are what they are.

1 hour ago, Calm said:

I actually think it would be very useful to experience different faiths as a devout, thoughtful all in believer

Oh absolutely.  Every faith I've been thru gave me unique and irreplaceable perspective. I've positive feelings all around (well, I have conflicted feelings for Evangelicalism).

[ZealouslyStriving]

24 minutes ago, bluebell said:

Can you explain what you mean?  Because if he was there when the kids were being abused, then it wouldn't be a false accusation, right?  

If accusations of SA were made to get him out of the way- then, yes, they would've been false, in spite of what the ladies were doing.

And once he was accused, even without evidence, he would've carried that around for the rest of his life. The smart thing to do was to leave, especially with those two deranged women partnering up. Who knows what they were capable of?

Edited March 10 by ZealouslyStriving

[bluebell]

1 minute ago, ZealouslyStriving said:

If accusations of SA were made to get him out of the way- then, yes, they would've been false, in spite of what the ladies were doing.

And once he was accused, even without evidence, he would've carried that around for the rest of his life. The smart thing to do was to leave, especially with those two deranged women partnering up. Who knows what they were capable of?

I'm not sure what you are speaking on, since there were no accusations of SA.  He didn't leave because he was accused of being sexually abusive.  Ruby kicked him out because she said that he had to leave to save their marriage because he was being a bad husband and relying too much on lust (or something like that.  It's all so vague that even he didn't seem to exactly know what he had done wrong).

Since he wasn't accused of SA, do you still believe it was smart for him to leave?  Especially since he was still very much involved with Hildebrandt's therapy even after he left.  To be clear, he did not leave to put distance between himself and them, he left against his will and spent all of his time trying to get back in.

[ZealouslyStriving]

4 minutes ago, bluebell said:

I'm not sure what you are speaking on, since there were no accusations of SA.  He didn't leave because he was accused of being sexually abusive.  Ruby kicked him out because she said that he had to leave to save their marriage because he was being a bad husband and relying too much on lust (or something like that.  It's all so vague that even he didn't seem to exactly know what he had done wrong).

Since he wasn't accused of SA, do you still believe it was smart for him to leave?  Especially since he was still very much involved with Hildebrandt's therapy even after he left.  To be clear, he did not leave to put distance between himself and them, he left against his will and spent all of his time trying to get back in.

You are not understanding my posts.

Say when he was asked to leave, he said "No." as several here have suggested he should've done. Would the ladies have been happy about his insolence? We know they had no problem hurting fellow humans- so what might've been their next step to get him out of the home?

Yes, he made the smart choice to leave when they demanded. Trying to placate them was the probably the only choice he felt he had to avoid some further escalation.